Xray the Enforcer

2 hours ago, Hereward said:

I assume you’ve read Ben Aaronovitch’s Peter Grant series. If not, why not?!

In the category of so bad they’re brilliant, I  suggest Steve Burrows’ birding detective series, in which, surprisingly, a birding detective based in Norfolk encounters a series of crimes that are either ornithological in motive or can only be solved by someone with deep ornithological knowledge.

Alternatively, there’s Damian Boyd’s Nick Dixon series, featuring a man with a dog and an entirely fish and chips based diet in lieu of a personality. It features impeccable wild guesswork by our hero and the world’s best canal boat police chase through a series of locks. 

Alternatively, you could read the excellent Mark Douglas-Home Sea Detective series, though you could skip the first one as, while it has none of the unpleasant elements you mention, it does centre on people trafficking, and can be understandably grim, in an empathetic way. They are largely self-contained though, so skipping the first would be no problem.

Oooh those Burrows' books look to be right up my alley, although I swear it's going to drive me mad to not know enough about Eurocommie birds to be able to solve the crimes by myself. All of these look great -- thank you!

@Jo498 Thank you for the flag. As it turns out, I've actually read the Rivers of London series (well, up through book 7 I think) and I'd say that some of the issues in the book are right on the edge for me. Like, Peter is a dolt with every kind of sheltered-and-stupid cisgender dude flaw on the planet. Which means I don't actually like the protagonist all that much. But I dig a lot of the other characters and the worldbuilding.

As for gore, I should probably be more clear: Some gore is OK. But I don't want to read elaborate reconstructions -- or first-person POV experiences -- of graphic rapes and murders. Like, there was this one book and I can't remember the name of it or the author, but the whole thing was full of sadistic serial killer POV shit, and it spent pages describing in minute detail all of the horrors of each rape/murder and it put me off the entire genre for 20 years. Legit, I have refused to read almost any modern mystery or crime novels because I do not want to read that stuff. 

ETA: I realize that most of the really awful stuff happens more in crime thrillers rather than crime/mystery, but there's sufficient overlap in the audiences that I just want to make clear what my deal-killers are in the general space.  

Thank you for the recommendations @Ormond! I'll definitely check of these out. 

Thank you for the recommendations so far! I appreciate you all giving thought to this and bringing some nuance to the discussion. And yeah, I can handle some retrograde ideas or heteronormative gender roles. I am mostly looking to avoid books where, say, the gay person is invariably a manipulative child molester, or where the author lovingly pores over all the details of a sexual sadist serial killer. Way too many post-1970s books do this and it's boring AF.

@lady narcissa I'm screaming at those book titles. Incredible. I especially like the bird-cricket mashup at around book 8. If there was ever a series to be written directly to my interests, surely this is it. 

I'm looking for anti-recommendations. I would like to avoid transphobic nonsense like the Galbraith books in particular, and would like to avoid books that demonize queer people in general. I would also like to avoid books that luridly focus on sexual assault and torture. 

Given those strictures, which books/authors already mentioned in this thread should I avoid? 

OTOH, if there's a book series you'd really love to rep that you think I'd like, I'd love to hear it.  
Authors I've liked:
Ian Rankin
Tana French
Louise Penny
Agatha Christie
Peter May
Dorothy Sayers

19 minutes ago, karaddin said:

Hope you're doing well X. It's a fucking weird year.

hooooooboy yeah. So much has happened (even just in the circumscribed context of being queer and trans) and I don't even know where to begin. 

I haven't seen She-Ra yet, but everyone I know who has loves it. And yeah, it's apparently super gay. Gonna devote some of this weekend to watching it.

No real reason for posting, just want to give a shoutout to all of my fellow queers. 

I cannot remember who said it in this thread, but I had suspected the same thing:

All of that said, the whole structure breaks down once you start to think about it too hard, so who knows? I'm stalled about halfway through HtN purely because I got distracted by "Moody British Murder Mysteries" TV shows (Broadchurch, Endeavor, etc). 

I really struggled through Gt9 until the very end, then I immediately started the book for the re-read and it was so much more satisfying. I'm having the same struggle with Ht9, especially when it comes to @ljkeane's spoiler comments, so I suspect I'll have to do the same finish-and-reread for this book too. I really enjoy this book series but...a lot of the worldbuilding feels incredibly overwrought. Like, their entire societal structure (that we've seen) makes no sense right now, so I am hoping that gets resolved, if not in this book, then in the final one.

2 hours ago, Fez said:

Hey all. Sorry if this seems ignorant, but I was hoping someone could let me know which, if any or all, of these terms are acceptable and commonly used in the community? And also if they are synonyms? And if there are other, more commonly used terms?

Non-cisgendered; person born with a uterus; transgendered man; person assigned-female-at-birth

We've realized at my job that we our language style guide doesn't cover this, and I don't know what an authoritative source on the this would be. Any help would be awesome.

A couple of things.

1) please do not use "transgendered" or "cisgendered". The correct terms are "transgender" and "cisgender" because these are things that people are, not things that happened to them. 

2) I've never seen the term "non-cisgender" used by people in the community, although I suppose it's not the worst thing. I'd avoid it, though, and say "transgender or non-binary individuals." Also note that "nb" as shorthand  for "non-binary" should be avoided, because that term is already in use in the Black community to mean "non-Black." 

3) "person assigned X at birth" is generally considered acceptable. 

4) I'd steer clear of using someone's anatomy as a descriptor. It's really invasive and is nobody's business. I need to run to a meeting but I will try to come up with an alternative for you. 

Thank you for asking these questions! I really appreciate that you're trying to get things correct and want to be inclusive in your language. 

The gatekeeping is bullshit, but try to not let it get you down. Her words say way more about her than they do about you. 

5 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

Portland, Or on steroids is the stuff of all of my nightmares. 

 No kidding. 

Valid to consider personally. But a rehash of the intricacies of Brexit and what it will or will not mean for United Kingdom is best left to the UK politics thread.

Agreed that this is not the place to discuss Brexit.  

Robin -- I do not think that this board is going to give you the information you need to accurately assess the threat level to your family's rather unusual personal circumstance.

This isn't a slam at those who've spoken thus far -- but one thing I've learned over the last couple of years working in partnership with transgender women, and especially transgender women of color, is that no matter what my personal experience with homophobic bigotry is, I am NEVER going to experience the same threat levels that they do. As such, I'd take the above reports of "not much outward homophobia" with a big grain of salt. 

23 hours ago, Inigima said:

This works, thank you! The first person I looked at didn't show it, I assume because they didn't have any previous display names, but I checked my own and it's there.

nvm I answered my own question! 

BTW @Ran thank you for turning that functionality back on. I really missed it when it was gone. 

apparently Saturday was Trans Day of Visibility? I totally didn't find out until about 9pm that night, so I just walked into the bathroom and shot finger-guns at my reflection in the mirror. That counts, right?

14 hours ago, Theda Baratheon said:

This is the guy I was kind of half pining over and fancied and it's like the more I get to know him the less I fancy him so that's a good thing I guess 

The struggle is real  (and, at least for me, generally applicable to most human beings to whom I am attracted, regardless of gender identity). 

Anyhoo, I think your plan is solid: tell them that your personal life is not up for discussion and them hold them to that. 

Good riddance, @Lily Valley. You deserve better, even when it's just a casual hookup.

Thank you for the update. I am so SO glad that it went well for your cousin -- and for you as well.  

Speaking of being out at work... the new LGBTQ+ affinity group at my org is having its first organizational meeting in a week or so. This means that, in a week or so, I'm going to be a very visible trans* person in my organization. I'm feeling a bit weird about it: I'm not binary trans, so it's going to confuse and upset the fuck out of anyone who isn't down with non-binary identities. Then again, confusing and upsetting narrow-minded pillocks is a cherished hobby, so at least I'll get some entertainment out of it. More importantly, though, I hope that my visibility will help some of the other NB/GQ people in my org feel like they can be more open. The other founding members of this group are cisgender gay men, and one cisgender gay woman, but I'm hoping that we can get another bisexual/pansexual on board. And I am really hoping that my colleague who is transitioning right now would be willing to join. But I understand if he's not into it, because he has enough going on already. 

You have a way of asking things that comes across as lecturing marginalized communities about what they should or should not actually feel or experience. That might not be your intent, but that's how it comes across. 

To answer -- I've had successful relationships with men, women, and NB/GQ individuals, and each come with their own challenges, both as individuals and in the pressures that society foists upon the relationship. As such, I don't think I could ever claim that one group was better than another. I do know that my current relationship is on year 14, with a cisgender man. In some ways we have it easy -- I haven't transitioned, so we look like your typical het couple. But we're not. And that sometimes brings its own stressors. 

It's difficult to appreciate how heavy a burden social opprobrium plays in relationships until one steps out of the "acceptable" areas, and that affects how stable a non-traditional relationship is. At the same time, social conditioning of men frequently makes dating them a challenge. (I got lucky in that Mr. X is awesome.) For some, the rewards outweigh trouble. For others...not so much. 

7 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

To my beautiful bi pals up on this board:     ******GO TEAM BISEXUALS!  TWICE THE OPTIONS AND TWICE THE FUN.  GO AHEAD CALL ME "GREEDYAND I WILL CACKLE ALL THE WAY TO MY GRAVE WITH A DATE ON FRIDAY NIGHT!********

All the love from New Orleans.  If I haven't mentioned it recently, thank you all.  Especially @brook @Xray the Enforcer @Theda Baratheon for helping me find the guts to come out.  Better late than never.  <3

OK dude sounds bullshit. Cut bait, m'lady! 

BUT!!! I'm honored that I played even a small role in you becoming more comfortable with being out and proud.  

38 minutes ago, mankytoes said:

I am genuinely impressed.

Are girls really that much better though? When I was around a lesbian group it was the most ridiculous soap opera of cheating, breaking up, love triangles, etc, I'd ever seen. I mean that was uni, so I'm not saying that's a fair judge of these relationships in general, but nothing I've seen makes me think it's a peaceful option. I guess maybe the female bullshit is different to the male bullshit, and at least you can understand the female bullshit better?

You were at uni. Every relationship there is a shitshow. 

3 hours ago, Lily Valley said:

Tell your friend I have a whole bag of dicks. 

I was shopping for a new addition to my bag of dicks last night!