Summah Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Also just a general observation, it seems like every generation says the one(s) that came after it are less polite, bad behavior, rude etc, which means that either it's true and at some point everywhere will have no pleases and thank yous and will just yell at people and call them names whenever they want or so on, or it's not happening and they are idealizing how things were when they were young. Personally I think it's the second thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 Considering the way the internet has turned every noun into a verb, every verb into a noun and the sluttier adjectives into adverbs, I don't see how you could with a straight face. LOL! Please tell me the wording was intentional. This thread needs some comic relief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyanna Stark Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 LOL! Please tell me the wording was intentional. This thread needs some comic relief. *is desperately trying to think of a sluttier adjective turned into an adverb but keeps coming up blank* Also just a general observation, it seems like every generation says the one(s) that came after it are less polite, bad behavior, rude etc, which means that either it's true and at some point everywhere will have no pleases and thank yous and will just yell at people and call them names whenever they want or so on, or it's not happening and they are idealizing how things were when they were young. Personally I think it's the second thing. You mean things weren't always better in the olden days? I am disappoint. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I've been reading this thread for the last couple of days is the problem with "transgender" as a noun that it implies that aspect of that individual's personality wholely defines them if it is used as a noun? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I think that certainly is a part of it. To me it also heavily implies a transgender person as something 'other'. "My best friend is a transgender woman" says something entirely different to "my best friend is a transgender". Lastly, to me it just sounds wrong, we all agree (I hope) that we wouldn't be saying 'my best friend is a gay' or 'a black'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 Then why is it ok to say a woman is a lesbian? I agree that calling someone a transgender, just doesn't sound right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brook Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Robin I was just thinking that, I'm really not entirely sure, the best I can come up with is that it's entirely understood that 'lesbian' = 'lesbian woman' in a way that the other terms aren't as clear.If I say someone is a lesbian it's clear to everyone that I'm talking about a woman. Gay is not used anywhere nearly as consistantly to mean 'gay man' and 'black' or 'transgender' could be talking about anyone.I could be totally off though, I'm really not sure why lesbian feels ok to me when the others don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 You raise a good point about lesbian so clearly being applicable only to woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Robin I was just thinking that, I'm really not entirely sure, the best I can come up with is that it's entirely understood that 'lesbian' = 'lesbian woman' in a way that the other terms aren't as clear.If I say someone is a lesbian it's clear to everyone that I'm talking about a woman. Gay is not used anywhere nearly as consistantly to mean 'gay man' and 'black' or 'transgender' could be talking about anyone.I could be totally off though, I'm really not sure why lesbian feels ok to me when the others don't. It seems more like it's just a quirk of the language. That's how it's said, just because. Doesn't really say much of anything. Generally, it's just best to use whatever terms the two people (or more) feel comfortable with. There's some specific situations where they are trying to imply something with a term you may not like but imo most of the time it's just a difference of experience and background and culture on what the appropriate phrasing is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slim da reaper Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 non binary identities with all transgender people which isn't accurate at all.., there's nothing remotely ambiguous about my gender. Same, though I've never fitted any mold. Ambiguity actually relates to every bundle of mind that has ever lived, it is a necessary part of why freedom exists, inescapable powerful thoughts and many different kinds of drives, these sometimes conflicting with one another. Basically I make myself from materials (genetics/epigenetics) at hand which some part of me could and has fashioned, but there's also solid drives which are unchangeable. This basically does away with the strongest kind of determinism, but also that many things can add up in a major way. The binary is a centre ground with infinite possible examples. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 GotSI,I have a question and if it has been asked previously I apologize in advance. In the situation you discuss early in the threat where a white male jumps in to defend you from a racist or sexist comment before you are given an opportunity to defend yourself would you be equally frustrated by a POC who denies you the opportunity to defend yourself? If not, why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Of House Hill Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 A seven year old girl addresses something so basic, and does it better than most adults. http://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/lego-just-got-told-off-by-a-7-year-old-girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summah Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Ser Scot, I would definitely still be annoyed, I don't know if I would be equally annoyed or not, I think it depends on the situation. If it were a sexist remark and a POC male jumped in I would definitely be equally annoyed, but as for a racist remark if another POC jumped in, I'm not sure if it would be equal, but I would still think I should have been given the chance to speak first. But also the white men doing this are using both white privilege and male privilege in doing so, which I think makes it worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 GotSI,It just occured to me that the behavior you describe (interupting or cutting someone off before they have a chance to speak) is rather rude regardless of the privilege attached to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summah Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Ser Scot, yes it is rude no matter who is doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I have a feminist quandary. A friend of mine recently asked her boyfriend to marry her and he said yes. I feel like if I asked my boy to marry me he'd be a little put off. I'm not saying I'm in a position where I want to ask him, but I've thought about it a bit, and I'm pretty sure that he's not...'advanced' enough to see this as a normal thing. I wanna make it clear, my boyfriend is a really good guy, it's just my opinion that he wouldn't be able to accept being asked to marry by a girl. Anyways, is this something that I should feel bad about? Being with a guy who would have difficulty (in my opinion) accept such a proposal from a woman? On one hand, I don't care about feminist agenda, I'm perfectly happy with a guy who I care about and who cares about me. But then again, why shouldn't it be ok for me to ask him? Does that mean that he doesn't look at me as an equal? Honestly, I think I know the answer, but I also think I'm willing to settle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emberling Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 Does that mean that he doesn't look at me as an equal? Institutional sexism is institutional. If you want to find a man* who will never, in any situation, instinctively look upon you as lesser or subordinate because you are female - well, there aren't any. You just need to find someone with a level and degree of failure that you are comfortable with in a wide variety of situations, and it sounds likely that you have. *Women are just as susceptible to institutional sexism, of course; I only specified a man because a woman's internalized sexism wouldn't produce a power differential with Jace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 If you want to find a man* who will never, in any situation, instinctively look upon you as lesser or subordinate because you are female - well, there aren't any. How about, "If such men exist, they are extremely rare", rather than asserting with absolute certainty that they don't exist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emberling Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 How about, "If such men exist, they are extremely rare", rather than asserting with absolute certainty that they don't exist? Not sure if you're suggesting an agnostic declaration of the possible existence of unicorns, or if you missed the point entirely... let's try again. Institutional sexism is institutional. You cannot be a person in this world and escape it. There is not a divide between "sexists" and "non-sexists" - there are only people, all of whom (other than the unicorns) have been bombarded from birth with sexist ideas, sexist depictions, sexist expectations. Some people more than others, but nobody gets out unscathed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I have a feminist quandary. A friend of mine recently asked her boyfriend to marry her and he said yes. I feel like if I asked my boy to marry me he'd be a little put off. I'm not saying I'm in a position where I want to ask him, but I've thought about it a bit, and I'm pretty sure that he's not... 'advanced' enough to see this as a normal thing. I wanna make it clear, my boyfriend is a really good guy, it's just my opinion that he wouldn't be able to accept being asked to marry by a girl. Anyways, is this something that I should feel bad about? Being with a guy who would have difficulty (in my opinion) accept such a proposal from a woman? On one hand, I don't care about feminist agenda, I'm perfectly happy with a guy who I care about and who cares about me. But then again, why shouldn't it be ok for me to ask him? Does that mean that he doesn't look at me as an equal? Honestly, I think I know the answer, but I also think I'm willing to settle. Cultural gender roles don't necessarily mean he thinks of you as lesser. Some things, like say who proposes to who, can be things that people simply never consider any other way and/or are "tradition" and thus based in no reasoning at all beyond "that's the way it's done". If he's not ok with you asking him, it may be for a wide variety of reasons that have nothing to do with his views on women and everything to do with other issues ranging from the understandable (other people will mock me) to the random (it's traditional). If/when it comes up, it's probably best to feel the issue out first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.