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Goodkind XII


MinDonner

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I would agree with the bard, and add two of my own:

Thing rising

War suddenly breaking out

As an aside, is it appropriate to ask why QotD is bringing negative attention (i.e. have there been threatened legal actions, etc.), and must be ended? It would be helpful to my peace of mind, and the reasoning behind this would be appreciated.

I think that the QotD may have been the only thing that kept this string of awesome Yeardi goodness going for so long: with removal, I'm guessing these will sputter out. Depending on the nature of the rationale for disbanding of QotD, I'm caught between moving on with my life, and posting up crazy and disturbing parodies as a sort of methadone to ease "Mad Moose" withdrawl.

Ah well

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I don't know... does anyone remember what things USED to be like, in the days before the Goodkind threads? People on the board would still bash him pretty consistently, but there would be several smaller threads about him scattered throughout the first few pages of the Literature board. If these threads have done anything, its consolidate it all into one place.

Although if people want to continue with this, I suppose that there is the option of creating a separate "Goodkind sucks" board. I think I've had my fill of Goodkind bashing for now, though. One can only have so much of a good thing.

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Shit, can't find the quote now, but Robert Charles Wilson's book Spin actually features the characters discussing 'moral clarity' in some depth. I'll try and track it down.

Btw, I was thinking that the Quotes of the Day were starting to lose their gusto. I think we covered the classics some time ago and we have been treading water for a while. So, fair enough I think.

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We're looking for 2-3 quotes per book, trimmed down a bit, the suggestions so far are good ones. As per Wert's comments, it's true. It's been getting more difficult to find quality stuff, mostly it's become just more examples of bad writing. Based on that, the QotD could go on endlessly, but it was running out of steam. And so was I. I certainly hope that the parodies will continue though.

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“The main force will be in the center, well protected. At their edges, where you attack, will be defenses, of course, but mostly the camp followers will be at the tail end of the Order’s camp – the fringe to the south, mostly.â€

“I don’t really care,†she said with cold fury. “If they’re with the Order, then they are the enemy. There will be no mercy.â€

Yeah, what does it matter how important they are to the enemy's ability to wage war? An enemy is an enemy, and killing off Order's camp followers will surely be worth the resources spent and the soldiers whose lives are being risked. What a master tactician and strategist Kahlan is!

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Sigh, all good things must come to an end I guess. My hats off to all the blokes who made these threads possible. Sometimes during a seriously bad work day, I could count on the Goodkind threads to pull me out of a slump.

You guys rock! Perhaps we should use the Goodkind board (BBHN) for future Quotes of the Day after The Mad Moose is happily married.

And please, does this mean the parodies end as well? That may be too much entertainment value down the tubes..

Again, great job everone, I guess Ran got a call from a lawyer or some crap...

Hasta!

Stark Out!

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Yea, the quotes have been getting slightly less entertaining, mostly due to the fact that we've run out of things that qualify as totally outrageous and fallen simply to outrageous... However a few of the parodies have been fantastic of late.

Make sure the killing of protesters, the chicken, and one of the new phantom quotes on how killing innocent people is a moral action quotes stay up please.

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I vote for...

The peace protestors, armed only with their hatred for moral clarity

Violet

The Chicken (that is not a chicken)

The bit where Richard steals a sword by stretching

The naked whitewash

Nicci's justification of torture

The Betty scene with X laughed, Y laughed, everyone laughed

The bit where Gratch returns to kill the Mriswith

Not sure if any of these are from the same books. Dammit, why couldn't this deletion directive have come through BEFORE I linked to all the damn things on my blog? That took ages!

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I vote for...

The peace protestors, armed only with their hatred for moral clarity

Violet

The Chicken (that is not a chicken)

The bit where Richard steals a sword by stretching

The naked whitewash

Nicci's justification of torture

The Betty scene with X laughed, Y laughed, everyone laughed

The bit where Gratch returns to kill the Mriswith

Not sure if any of these are from the same books. Dammit, why couldn't this deletion directive have come through BEFORE I linked to all the damn things on my blog? That took ages!

We also must have at least one quote where Richard is laughably described as "Bringer of Death". Also is the Fire Speech good enough to qualify? The bit where Richard pulls that guy's spine out and he still gets up for one more go has to be in there surely.
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Some thoughts for a greatest hits, (Ran suggests two or three from each book):

Wizard’s First Rule:

1) Going Con Dar on Demmin Nass

2) Cheesy ending: Richard protected by his seamless love for Kahlan

3) Kicking Violet

Stone of Tears:

1) Namble Cock

2) The Naked Battle (combination of three QotD’s, trimmed down significantly)

3) “Bringer of Death†speech at the palace of the prophets?

Blood of the Fold:

1) Speech dissolving the midlands?

2) Gratch to the rescue

3)

Temple of the Winds:

1) Kahlan thinks she’s doing it with Drefan

2) Richard tears out Drefan’s spine

3)

Soul of the Fire:

1) The evil Chicken (obviously)

2) Peace protest?

3)

Faith of the Fallen:

1) Torturing Gadi

2) Richard’s statue

3) Nicci wants Richard to do her?

Pillars of Creation:

1) Oba (the only one done from this book)

Naked Empire:

1) The hippie slaughter

2) Betty the Goat (everybody laughed)

3) Richard justifies everything

Chainfire:

1) Nicci’s boobs

2) Richard wakes to find Kahlan gone.

3) Nicci tears out a guys heart

Phantom:

1) Richard’s “total war†strategy

2) Jagang wants to rape Kahlan, but just can’t do it.

3) Richard becomes “point manâ€.

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I cannot recall the the "Going Con Dar on Demmin Nass" quote, and I'd like to add my vote for the "fire is bad" speech made by Richard's brother, if it was indeed in WFR.

"fire is the enemy!" <watches as the whole audience bursts in tears>

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The "going con dar on Demmin Nass" bit is when Kahlan touched him with her power and made him cut off - and then eat - his own balls.

You can read it here

edit: my mistake, she cut his balls off by herself, then made him eat them.

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:( I'm so going to miss this thread. Never really posted on it but it has provided quite a bit of entertainment. Hopefully everything manages to be archived somewhere.

Thanks for the laughs guys! You're awesome :D

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When was the scene where that slut thought it was a foolproof plan to get Richard to see her screw someone else if she wanted him to do her?

That was good one too... Maybe we can only keep the chicken for soul of the fire and instead get more than three for another books?

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When was the scene where that slut thought it was a foolproof plan to get Richard to see her screw someone else if she wanted him to do her?

That was good one too... Maybe we can only keep the chicken for soul of the fire and instead get more than three for another books?

Nadine is a slut in this quote

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