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Cricket 28: Come back KP, all is forgiven!


ljkeane

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A pretty damning analysis of NZ's recent test match history in England:



New Zealand began this tour with the hope that the next time they came to England it would be for the marquee summer series and not this bastard-child, two-tests-in-May nonsense.


Unless things alter dramatically in Leeds, they'll be lucky to be invited back before the next arrival of Halley's Comet.


Without putting too fine a point on it, New Zealand's performances in England over the past four tours have oscillated between poor and embarrassing. The Black Caps' incomprehensible loss at Lord's this week was just the latest chapter in a tale of woe - the Motherland is New Zealand's Bleakhouse.


This is the fourth visit to England since 2004. In that period, the ledger stands at: Played 9, Won 0, Drawn 1, Lost 8. Some of the losses have been jaw-dropping in their manner.


This is Zimbabwe's record in England during the same timeframe: Played 0, Won 0, Drawn 0, Lost 0. If you were a Zimbabwean and tossed all the political implications aside, you'd be rightfully asking yourself why New Zealand have been afforded such privileged status.


The Lord's loss wasn't even the biggest meltdown. That dubious status belongs to the Daniel Vettori-led side of 2008 who took a 179-run lead into the second innings, were rolled for 114 and then watched England score the 294 needed for victory with six wickets to spare.


At Lord's in 2004, England also made ridiculously short work of chasing a challenging target, mowing down 282 for the loss of just three (and one of those was a run out, the newly appointed director of cricket Andrew Strauss who was sold down the river just 17 runs short of scoring twin tons on debut).


In fact, the 2004 tour was a beacon of futility, with the visitors carrying strong positions into day four in all three tests, before buckling badly - sound familiar.


So what is it about England that brings out the worst in modern New Zealand teams? It is not as if the conditions are as unfamiliar as, say, the subcontinent, yet New Zealand have given a far stronger account of themselves in Sri Lanka and the UAE recently than they have in Blighty.


Playing with Duke balls in English spring conditions is a challenge, but the Black Caps have a seam attack the envy of most of the world and they practice long and hard with the balls before arrival.


To these eyes, it is the arrival itself that has become the problem. The 2004 tour was weird for a number of reasons, but the three since have all had one thing in common: the 'build-up' has been destroyed by the Indian Premier League.


There is nothing good about having your best players, including the captain, arrive straight off the back of a T20 franchise competition and to take part in no warm-up games. For anybody within the New Zealand camp to state anything less is dissembling at its worst.


In this respect, the national body are in a bind and one not of their own making. Start playing hard-ball with the players and suddenly the life of a T20 nomad looks more attractive to some of the most comparatively underpaid players in world cricket. Start playing hard-ball with the IPL and suddenly worthy NZ players are being passed in at auction. Start playing hard-ball with England and... well, look at those results - hardly in a position of strength, are they?


Only by playing the midsummer series will New Zealand avoid clashes with the IPL. Only by proving they're worth it will they get the midsummer series.


There's a fair bit riding on the result at Headingley, then, you'd think.


Land of Hope and Gory Results


2004:


England won by 7 wickets, Lord'sEngland won by 9 wickets, Leeds


England won by 4 wickets, Nottingham


2008:


Match drawn, Lord's


England won by 6 wickets, Manchester


England won by an innings and 9 runs, Nottingham


2013:


England won by 170 runs, Lord's


England won by 247 runs, Leeds


2015:


England won by 124 runs, Lord's


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11455549



One thing the writer got wrong: this sort of history guarantees NZ will be invited back. Whenever English cricket is being pilloried by the English press and public, invite NZ over for a test series and get a couple of easy wins. Even better when NZ just came out of a CWC in second place.



Interesting thoughts there about the IPL effect. But you can't pin it all on dashing in at the last moment after the IPL.


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I think New Zealand are probably still favourites for the one-day games and I think they've got a decent chance in the Headingley Test so it seems a bit soon to write off their tour after one match, especially when they played pretty well.



The Kiwis' Test record isn't great, but I think it had to be remembered that even at their low points England have been hard to beat at home. I think in the last decade the only teams to win a series in England are South Africa, Sri Lanka and India, although admittedly the likes of Australia have managed to win a few Tests here and there even if they haven't won a series.


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Good fight back from New Zealand but I just came in to see McCullum getting out to a fairly loose shot. I suppose that's the risk he takes with the way he plays.

ETA: Bloody hell, Latham's been dropped 3 times in 8 balls and the lbw that was reviewed looked out to me.

ETA2: Great effort from Ronchi on debut but, again, that's a pretty soft dismissal. It was obvious what England were trying to do, just don't hook the ball for the last 10 minutes ffs.

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Latham and Ronchi looked to be steadying the ship but with them gone, NZ are in all sorts of trouble. Yeah, the McCullum and Ronchi dismissals were pretty soft. McCullum's cavalier style is great in limited overs cricket but he needs to learn to be a bit more circumspect in the Test arena.


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ETA: Bloody hell, Latham's been dropped 3 times in 8 balls and the lbw that was reviewed looked out to me.

ETA2: Great effort from Ronchi on debut but, again, that's a pretty soft dismissal. It was obvious what England were trying to do, just don't hook the ball for the last 10 minutes ffs.

I agree the Latham review looked like it should be out to me.

Ronchi certainly wasn't intimidated by making his debut, although I guess after waiting so long for his debut he maybe thought he needed to seize his opportunity when it presented itself.

It was a decent fightback but still seems like a below-par score for NZ. I think the forecast for tomorrow is meant to be better so England may have the better batting conditions and it doesn't look like too bad a pitch for batting.

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350 is a solid score for New Zealand from 2-2, a similar fight back to England in the first test. They have something to bowl at but they'll have to bowl well.

It was noticeable that all of England's bowlers except Anderson were down on pace from Lords. We'll have to see how the kiwi bowlers handle to quick turn around.

ETA: Cook moves to top of the list of England run scorers. Unlike with Anderson's recent record I think you have to take into account that it's certainly easier batting now than it was a few years ago. Still it's not a bad achievement for a batsman who's only 30.

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England have looked in control all day with an excellent opening partnership, apparently the first to pass 100 for England since 2011, but they're in a bit of trouble here with some fantastic new ball bowling from Boult and Southee.

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England have looked in control all day with an excellent opening partnership, apparently the first to pass 100 for England since 2011, but they're in a bit of trouble here with some fantastic new ball bowling from Boult and Southee.

I think in the end you'd have to say it was New Zealand's day, which didn't look likely when England were notching up a 150+ opening partnership. Good to see Lyth scoring a century, he played well and hopefully he can continue in similar form to secure the position.

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England are capitulating. Lyth and Cook put England in such a commanding position but it has been a procession since then. 6/31 since the new ball was taken. Credit to Southee and Boult though. Superb display of swing bowling.




ETA. Scores level. After slumping to 267/8, England did well to reach 350. This is shaping up to be another cracker.


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Really good effort from Broad, Wood and Anderson to overhaul the deficit. This has been the best innings from Broad for years which is a real bonus for England, hopefully he'll keep it up.

New Zealand will be a little disappointed because they looked like there were going to have a solid first innings lead. Still, from the position they were in the scores being level is not bad at all.

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New Zealand will be a little disappointed because they looked like there were going to have a solid first innings lead. Still, from the position they were in the scores being level is not bad at all.

I think they're in a really dominant position now, chasing down 400+ on this pitch would be extremely tricky. England are going to have play really well to win this one, although I suppose there's a risk the weather intervenes.

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Arse. A day off work, so was hoping that I could be slobbing it at home listening to an exciting chase by England. However -



- NZ made the most of some truly pedestrian bowling to hammer a chunk of runs and set England 455 to win; and


- the English summer started. Looks like there will be no play today (Monday) and unlikely tomorrow; and


- sodding BBC chose not to replace TMS from their website with completely (to me) uninteresting commentary from the French tennis.


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According to the BBC Website's headline Joe Root thinks 'England can chase down 455 to win'. I'm not sure anyone else thinks that, even if there was enough time (and I don't think there is even if there's no rain tomorrow) I can't see England managing it on that pitch. They do have a good chance of saving the match, particularly if there's more rain, although it'll be a bit of a pity for such a competitive series to end on a damp squib.


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Bell out to a complete nothing shot. England could do with some rain here.

A little bit worrying in general that Cook finding some form seems to have coincided with Ballance and Bell completely losing theirs at 3 and 4.

Shit, Root's gone as well. England really, really need some rain.

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Rather a poor performance by England, but we shouldn't take anything away from New Zealand's performance - with the ball they have been far, far superior to England.


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