Dating: “I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.”

[Arkhangel]

Hot gym instructor continues to be hot, and also friendly but I just keep reminding myself that it's literally his job to be nice to me. Also he wears a ring, it's on the second finger of his left hand which, I don't know, is that where wedding rings usually live? Telling myself he's almost definitely some lucky person's really attractive husband.

 

Sigh.

[Datepalm]

I had to google which one was the second finger, but I just surveyed the room and, yes, that appears to be where the three guys whose hands I can see right now are wearing rings, and they are married.

ETA - I also googled wrong. Rings are on the finger one in from the pinkie...which google claims is the fourth (or, well, 'ring') finger. Is Hot Gym's ring on the middle or index finger?

[Theda Baratheon]

Ring finger in not western countries is traditionally the the fourth finger on the left hand, between the middle finger and the little finger but it's not like it HAS to be there so a lot of people just wear the ring on any finger so he could be married? why else wear a ring to gym. 

[Arkhangel]

In a way this is a major improvement. Now I can just enjoy his hotness in an aesthetic sense, like a gorgeous picture of a place I have no intention of ever visiting.

[Theda Baratheon]

1 hour ago, Arkhangel said:

In a way this is a major improvement. Now I can just enjoy his hotness in an aesthetic sense, like a gorgeous picture of a place I have no intention of ever visiting.

Yeah; i'm the same way actually. Once I know for certain someone is taken or not available it's like...so easy for me to stop pining and then go ''ooooh, just a nice hot person'' and not have any...like..feelings mixed in lol. 

[Datepalm]

yeah, I'm always amazed at how quickly that switch flips. (in my case, its usually finding out the person in question is gay, of course.)

[Lily Valley]

On 12/12/2016 at 9:31 PM, larrytheimp said:

So I feel like I've reached a new level on tinder.  Like the equivalent of the Deep Web or Dark Web or whatever.

Said hey to this woman I matched with, and her first response was asking me if I wanted to have her two pet sugar gliders.  Assuming this wasn't a euphemism, I think I've stumbled onto the Exotic Animal Black Market part of tinder.

LOL Larry, this is the WORST intro to a voice-over of "12 days of Christmas"  EVER! 

Ok, maybe it's the best.  Xo sweetie.

 

[Theda Baratheon]

37 minutes ago, Datepalm said:

yeah, I'm always amazed at how quickly that switch flips. (in my case, its usually finding out the person in question is gay, of course.)

hahah yeah, it's like instant really. maybe i just don't have a lot of romantic feelings for people LMAO but in the past once ive found out a cute guy has a girlfriend or boyfriend or is gay or just not available it's so easy to go OH I THINK I FANCY THEM to just NICE LOOKING PERSON WHO I AM JUST FRIENDS WITH 

[Starkess]

On 12/11/2016 at 10:02 AM, kairparavel said:

@Starkess it absolutely could be due to hormones and birth control but it could be other things or a combination of several things. You state the idea of orgasm sometimes feels exhausting and that sounds like stress. How fatigued do you feel in your day to day life? How much stress do you feel from your job or your relationship or other things? Conversely, how much satisfaction do you get from those things? Have you experienced fluctuations in weight or appetite or sleep patterns? How much extra stress do you feel because your low sex drive feels like a problem or a failure (it's not). How much stress do you experience from having sex even 3-4 times a week for his sake instead of having less sex for your sake? How much understanding and comfort does he provide? This can all compound, especially if it's been a couple of years.

Your low sex drive at your young age might be more than just a side-effect of birth control. I hope your doctor helps you sort it out.

Now that I'm thinking more about it, the timeline roughly correspondso to me starting my job, which I really hated and destroyed a lot of my appreciation of life and triggered some depressive episodes. Just seems silly to get worked up over it when like 80% of people hate their jobs so but we all just have to chin up and carry  on. The sort of good news is that I've changed positions in my firm and while I still don't like it it is not nearly as bad.

Too bad about this stupid money thing.

[Aniel]

Ha, my SO has lived here for 4 months now (!) and he wants this game that just came out for Christmas, and he doesn't think he'll get it. Guess what I ordered yesterday. From our stationary computer, while he was in the room. He didn't see a thing. All he knows is that I was looking at cheap gifts for the family (I was laid off in March and didn't find a new job until last month and my first paycheck comes next week, so money's been tight) so now he thinks he's getting a cheap gift. He actually got up earlier to clear some space on his PS4 for the game since he thinks he's going to have to download it from the PlayStation Store after he gets Christmas money from his grandparents (they always give him and his siblings money). We'll see if he figures it out when I receive a game-sized package from a store he knows sells games...

[Lily Valley]

1 hour ago, Aniel said:

Ha, my SO has lived here for 4 months now (!) and he wants this game that just came out for Christmas, and he doesn't think he'll get it. Guess what I ordered yesterday. From our stationary computer, while he was in the room. He didn't see a thing. All he knows is that I was looking at cheap gifts for the family (I was laid off in March and didn't find a new job until last month and my first paycheck comes next week, so money's been tight) so now he thinks he's getting a cheap gift. He actually got up earlier to clear some space on his PS4 for the game since he thinks he's going to have to download it from the PlayStation Store after he gets Christmas money from his grandparents (they always give him and his siblings money). We'll see if he figures it out when I receive a game-sized package from a store he knows sells games...

Totally cute.  Nice work!  Glad things are going well!

I have a rather good date with the Stephenson fanboy and @Ravenhair and @sologdin on Friday night.  Dinner at my favorite restaurant.  This works out great for me.  I love those two nerds, but once they start talking legalese my brain turns off.  This time I'll be able to talk circuits with the fanboy if they start that shit.

[Larry of the Lawn]

6 minutes ago, Lily Valley said:

Totally cute.  Nice work!  Glad things are going well!

I have a rather good date with the Stephenson fanboy and @Ravenhair and @sologdin on Friday night.  Dinner at my favorite restaurant.  This works out great for me.  I love those two nerds, but once they start talking legalese my brain turns off.  This time I'll be able to talk circuits with the fanboy if they start that shit

That sounds like a blast!  Have fun!!!

[Xray the Enforcer]

1 hour ago, Lily Valley said:

I have a rather good date with the Stephenson fanboy and @Ravenhair and @sologdin on Friday night.  

you hoor i am jealous AF

[Lily Valley]

16 hours ago, Xray the Enforcer said:

you hoor i am jealous AF

I know, right???  And you haven't even seen my dress yet!

[Lily Valley]

Another date with the Stephenson Fanboy to see Rogue One last night.  The weather was TERRIBLE and disappointing.  Both of us have somewhat problematic houses, so we went our separate ways afterwards.  There was just no way I was taking my pants off in 37 degrees.  Disapponted, a bit.  I like staying the night with him, he's very comfortable to sleep with (I mean sleep).  The other stuff is nice, too.

I also realized that I have "friend-zoned" this guy really hard, even though I like him a LOT and we are sleeping together.  I'm doing some thinking about why the connection feels so unnatural.  It honestly is work.  Not the intellectual connection, just the physical one.  There's very little PDA on dates, we both try, and yet it feels like High School awkward.  It's very confusing, even for a well traveled old broad like me.

[Larry of the Lawn]

3 minutes ago, Lily Valley said:

Another date with the Stephenson Fanboy to see Rogue One last night.  The weather was TERRIBLE and disappointing.  Both of us have somewhat problematic houses, so we went our separate ways afterwards.  There was just no way I was taking my pants off in 37 degrees.  Disapponted, a bit.  I like staying the night with him, he's very comfortable to sleep with (I mean sleep).  The other stuff is nice, too.

I also realized that I have "friend-zoned" this guy really hard, even though I like him a LOT and we are sleeping together.  I'm doing some thinking about why the connection feels so unnatural.  It honestly is work.  Not the intellectual connection, just the physical one.  There's very little PDA on dates, we both try, and yet it feels like High School awkward.  It's very confusing, even for a well traveled old broad like me.

That sounds frustrating.  Did you two set up a future date?  

Jealous that this guy got to hang out with you,solo, and ravenhair.  

 

 

[Lily Valley]

4 minutes ago, larrytheimp said:

That sounds frustrating.  Did you two set up a future date?  

Jealous that this guy got to hang out with you,solo, and ravenhair.  

 

 

We will.  It should warm up here in a day or two  Also, I'm supposed to deal with my heating situation in the next couple of days.  I have family shit that is encroaching on privacy atm.  Also, I HATE having people here.  This is MY space.  I gotta get over that.  I can host if I'm feeling squeamish about the cold.

Raven likes him.  I just...I don't know if I've ever dated anyone it was so hard to physically relate to.  Larry, I'm a cuddle-muffin IRL.  I'm not sure if there's a general lack of connection, physical intimidation or what.  I don't have this much physical distance with my friends.  I realized on our date with Raven and Solo that's it's been (sporadic) but several months.  It still feels like a job interview for the first hour.  I'd have given up by now, but he's such a great conversationalist and intellect.  And domesticallly, he's comfortable.

 

[Larry of the Lawn]

Balls.  Is it physically awkward even when it's just the two of you, not like privately but walking down the street or when you two are just by yourselves?  

Stay warm in NOLA!!!

[Lily Valley]

1 hour ago, larrytheimp said:

Balls.  Is it physically awkward even when it's just the two of you, not like privately but walking down the street or when you two are just by yourselves?  

Stay warm in NOLA!!!

Larry, it is indeed.  Thing is, it feels fine once we decide to do "that".  But the initiating arm around or waist hug is so so so so so.... awkward.  Every time.  Even at breakfast chez nous.  Even a handhold in the theater.  It's very strange. It's not just him.  We both prickle and then relax at contact.  It'd be funny if it weren't so strange.

[Datepalm]

Huh. By logical inference, if I hear what you're saying, you have experience of these things being not nailbitingly awkward? My word, what a world out there.

So speaking of awkward, do I make another effort with the Seems Perfectly OK Guy From Uni? We had a week or two of making and breaking dates and never did get that beer/see that movie/etc. (I'm probably more to blame, but not entirely.) Last time I saw him he just kind fo shrugged, said, 'well, we tried,' and didn't bring it up again. Is this some kind of sensible adult conclusion of, like, well, we entertained the possibility, saw neither of us was sufficiently interested really to actually make it happen, ok lets just be classmates, or, like, well, that was a crazy couple of weeks and everyone was swamped and the weather was nasty, so what's up now?

The German Theologian went home for Christmas (as one does, I suppose.)