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Datepalm

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About Datepalm

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    Barbarism and Decadence, Fuck Yeah.
  • Birthday 02/22/1987

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  1. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    Also is it 50k forever, or just to start? Sure, its never going to go as high as the private sector job, but so long as there's some sense of financial and professional horizon, I feel like that makes a difference to the decision (like, my current low pay is balanced a little by occasional consulting opportunities, which doesn't so much make a lifestyle consumption difference as an emotional one - "I'm still saving, its ok", "if this goes sideways, I have other skills and networks", etc.) . But, probably, still the happy-job - I know my checkered employment history well enough to know I just flake out of jobs I hate, and if there's no greater responsibility (like kids) as a motivator, well, its a lost cause and life's too short.
  2. The built environment-obesity correlation is somewhat unclear, but to the best of my recollection, the argument is less about whether sidewalks, parks, etc, exist per se, but rather about the likeliness and, really, unavoidability of incorporating a fair amount of walking into daily routine. If you live in a walkable area, which has less to do with passable sidewalks (though it has some) and more to do with distance access to amenities. Ie, can you pop down to the shop, the bus station, walk to work, walk to your dentist, whatever, then you probably will be walking at least some of that, and it accumulates. If most things that have you leaving the house, have you leaving it by car, that walking exercise is gone. It's probably not an explanation in itself, but its argued to be one more factor.
  3. Datepalm

    Dating - I love the way you swipe

    In order: yes(!); maybe; obviously.
  4. Datepalm

    Dating - I love the way you swipe

    This has now, actually, in reality, happened. Oops.
  5. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    I think I have vaguely heard good stuff about these guys... ...in related Academia Sucks We Should All Leave Burn It To The Ground news, ugh, Theory Dudes who are pretentiously progressive and simultaneously utter bullying assholes is such a cliche by now, maybe don't do it, other TA on this course? I have no idea how to navigate the situation. I think this other guy I'm TAing a big course with is an obnoxious douche, fine, but the third TA - who is younger, less familiar with the specific material, less confident in her English, and an MA student to my 1st year PhD and his 5th? 6th? something? year PhD* - is straight up feeling bullied by him. He sent the emails in question to all of us - she's not wrong. He attacked her for sending out notices to her own students (we each teach a subset of the course) with assignment timelines and suggested readings and resources, using some kind of bizarre Royal We, and calling it 'an embarassment to all of us' (loose paraphrase) and so on and (contradicting earlier established - also by him - rules) now appears bent on micromanaging all our independent activities. He's generally a dick who tends to talk over anyone else in the room (especially if they're a woman? I have a hard time figuring it out. No one else likes him, and by no one, I mean, all the women in the department, but n is too small to isolate for sure.) but this is moving to straight up workplace bullying to my mind and argh. There's no point to this, just venting. :-/ *Because why ever get anything done when you apparently have endless guaranteed funding to waste all of our time for, I assume, eternity. ETA - in good news, I have yet to see the dog. In neutral news, dog person has literally not spoken a word to me since the semester started.
  6. Datepalm

    Writing style guides

    To be even more honest, I was never systematically taught any of this that I can remember. Cite your work, use a single style per document, follow a particular one if there are instructions to do so, learn to use a citation manager, it will make your life easier. That was pretty much it.
  7. Datepalm

    Writing style guides

    I can't stand Chicago, tbh, either reading or especially writing - that participation in the conversation means I want the who and the when right there in the flow of the text. MLA not having an in-line year thus also renders it impractical (for my mind, particularly impractical for a review, if anything - the dating is a crucial part). So I basically default to APA or sometimes Harvard.
  8. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    What field is it? In city planning a graduate degree is kind of odd, I guess, where its both the basic qualification and yet kind of a non-entry-position thing, as far as I can tell. So both in my program in Israel and in knowing the equivalent Master's students here in the US, a significant majority have been working in the field or in something related in some capacity for at least a bit, and often several years. Getting the degree seems to be a kind of decision point and professionalization towards more senior/technically oriented positions, not so much a foot in the door. (There are a lot of windy roads that lead to working in planning-adjacent stuff through, which may not be that common across professions.) So, yeah, I guess that supports more than contradicts the limitation of value of a grad degree as a singular CV entry in the labour market.
  9. Datepalm

    Exercise and Fitness: bro science debunked

    yay, went in for some lifting - very light 5*5 (its been like six months). I also forgot to bring tights and so was that person in the gym in jeans. Well, they're very stretchy jeans. Anyway, feels good though probably won't be able to move tomorrow.
  10. Datepalm

    Exercise and Fitness: bro science debunked

    Back at this seriously as well - somehow gained 10 lbs in like six weeks over the end of the semester stress+winter break at home. I knew I was going over, but 10 is way too much. Back to a regular routine of swimming, walking, and I'm going to try and mix lifting and maybe yoga in there a few times a week as well. And calorie counting, which when I'm in the groove, I actually kind of enjoy and don't have a problem sticking to. 'The groove' is a completely mysterious state that lands upon me like weather though - It will be virtually zero discipline required to lose 10lb per month for two or three, and then, poof, wake up one day and I can't for the life of me stop eating ice cream until I've gained 10 lbs all over again. I seem to have slipped back into it yesterday with being my first day properly back (tracked all calories yesterday, walked the 3km to campus this morning, went for a swim, had protein-y stuff for breakfast, had breakfast) but we'll see...
  11. Datepalm

    Dating - I love the way you swipe

    Is this a good idea? No, it is most clearly not. Do I want to go to a cold city in March? No, I clearly do not. What I may actually want to happen is to send in this abstract for this conference that dropped into my mailbox uninvited and, obvs, get it accepted and assigned to a panel and, whoa, oops, this clown who happens to be in this department in this institution is the moderator (or something) and then the schedule will get sent out and I'll see that, as one does, and then, when he knows I know he knows I might be there, quietly cancel, which of course he probably won't know for days or weeks, and then he will, and will be wondering, like, did she cancel because of me? Maybe she didn't. These things happen. Maybe she found a nicer conference, with blackjack and hookers and not ugly snow slush weather to go to. Maybe it was just someone with the same name? No, that's ridiculous, its a weird name. Or maybe it was because of me. We'll never, ever know, will we? Misery! Cold, slushy misery for everyone.
  12. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    @S John - Congrats! Sounds like the right move...also, IIRC, you current employer is an academic institution of some size? I mean, academic culture vis a vis labour and employment generally leans towards the hypocritical and insane, so that all sounds par the course. I've kind of learned not to stress weird emotionality and simmering resentment turned ones way over seemingly straightforward things like trying to, say, run down a lost paycheck (fortunately back home, not yet here, but I imagine its just a matter of time.) Ignore them and move on.
  13. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    @Inigima, @Tears of Lys - I think this is completely inappropriate, but a handful of people have chimed in immediately with what seems like unalloyed enthusiasm (bizarre, IDEK) and makes me think that somehow the fact this is a dog means it doesn't follow the usual rules. It seems to be treated (by some) as no more disruptive than someone getting a plant or hanging a poster at their desk... Though the words bullying and mobbing have guiltily occurred to me in the context of this person before, which makes this look increasingly like a pattern, yeah. (previously I'd left the benefit of the doubt that this was mostly just someone with a really bad ability to contextualize generic statements to actual individuals in front of them.)
  14. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    Pfft - sublimating and displacing feelings of anomie, disconnection and meaninglessness onto a time consuming and life-structuring responsibility that you have an overly anthropomorphosized relationship with is a PhD. Getting a dog as well is just being greedy at this point. I think that greed, however jokey i'm being, is one of the weird tensions I find in the culture here - there's a sort of public policy element to things that I (especially my kind of deep Soviet roots, unsurprisingly) feel are just personal, primarily various feelings of belonging, comfort, satisfaction, identity. Like, sometimes there's a semi-convincing argument that these feelings mirror (and impact) structural historical race/class/gender whatever, and then I can sort of shrug it off, but a lot of it is so deeply personalized It seems like its diluting the actual political dimension of this to meaninglessness and impacting real programs actually aimed at making the university more structurally accessible.* So, sure, yes, if you moved to a big fancy university from a small, working class college, you'll have feelings of strangeness some times, and some times you'll feel like you don't belong, and sometimes it will be intimidating to go into a big-shot professors office hours. Those are, like...part of life. Hell, it would be stripping something away from life to 'fix' those. They can't be fixed. And no, you can't have a dog to make you feel better either. Because it won't, and you just need to learn to process feelings and transitions like an adult. AT THE SAME TIME (hence the tension) - the actual realm of interpersonal contact, the sphere where these kinds of feeling can be usefully addressed - ie, sharing them with your friends, getting advice and social support, listening to and realizing others often feel the same with their own particular stories and issues - is some of the shallowest and most plasticky I've ever encountered in any group of people. The general point about pets does resonate with me as well - I generally find overly cuddly human-animal relationships creepy and I this articulates something of why. I brought it up with a friend who is a therapist once when she suggested I get a pet, and her argument was that this was not a replacement for human connection but practice towards it, which I don't know what to make of. The decline of american social life has been a thing-people-are-worried-about for decades though...the dog issue seems far more recent, and seems more driven to me by this, well, shamelessness about demanding a kind of smooth satisfactory feeling of inner well being at all times without any variations as a basic right. *This became its own rant...though back to workplace relate stuff, I guess. So, for example, my teaching assistant intake training informed me in passing that a quarter of my students will be housing-insecure over the course of their degree, and a third might skip meals, mentioned nothing more about any of this, and spent about 80% of its time and contents breaking down minutia of mildly awkward jokes that might read as sexist and setting you memorizing the exact phrasing required to respond to them to make sure everyone feels like they belong in class. My most complicated interactions with a student this semester was an older, non-traditional, parent, community college transfer - I had a lovely chats with her reassuring her and building up her confidence after a series of late and pretty bad assignments. I think it helped her feel a little better, but seemed to have a very marginal impact on her work, which appears to me to be more severely impacted by spending most of her time studying out of her car while driving around campus to avoid tickets, because she can't afford parking and obviously can't afford housing within reasonable transit distance. Another student, a first-gen immigrant with a full time job - incidentally the only two black students in a 60 person class? - missed assignments because her family were being evicted. But hey, I did a lecture on an African city in an otherwise US-oriented course she said resonated with her. Great.
  15. Datepalm

    Careerchat III

    I'm not so much baffled by the grift itself - you can get away with it, so you do - as by what the grift is for. Why the hell would you want to keep a dog around with you all day, every day? What is happening, societally speaking, that there's suddenly a non-trivial group of people around for whom this is such an appealing situation that you're bending and rearranging societal norms and actual rules to achieve it?
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