Goodkind XXVI- Preferably Something Work-Safe in the Title

[From that One Book]

Some more gems from the Q&A:

I would like to add that I think a person who has lived some life is in a better position to become a published writer. I don’t believe that young minds can yet begin to grasp all the complexities involved in writing good stories. Young writers regurgitate, they don’t originate or innovate.

I honestly think he believes this. I honestly think that he believes his books are original and innovative. It's like, his hypocrisy is so complete that he's wrapped all the way around into sincere. I don't know if that makes him more or less scary.

A good book will usually get published, one way or another. The problem is that there really aren’t very many good books.

Holy hell! While I agree that the number of bad books probably outweigh the good, I think we alone could list several thousand "good" books. What a douche.

My books are, after all, extremely complex.

Lies!

From Ivy:

First I would like to start by saying your books are the most beautifully written novels I have ever read.

"And obviously the only books I've ever read." The sad thing is, if they were the only books I'd ever read, I think I'd still think they were a pile of crap.

From Brad:

I have read and enjoyed your series so far and I’m anxiously awaiting the next books. (Author’s note: Anxiously means “worried and uneasy.†I think Brad means “eagerly.†But then, maybe not . . .)

This editor needs to spend less time editing the Q&A and more times editing the books.

From Shane:

Do you ever plan to let a video game be made in the Sword of Truth world?

From TG

To create a game based on such a work would be the equivalent of reproducing a piece of fine art on toilet paper.

Get over yourself. Your books aren't art, they aren't instruction manuals for life and if Ayn Rand were still alive I don't think she would consider them all that Objectivist.

But it’s not real. Magic can’t be real. No amount of double-talk will make it real. Any author who explains away the magic he writes about with an incomprehensible labyrinth of impenetrable concepts and pompous rationalizations that make you feel as if he is so gosh darn smart that you could never understand his lofty genius, is really doing nothing more than trying to lay down a smoke screen. He’s trying to intimidate you into believing that you are too stupid to understand him so that he can deceive you into thinking he really can do the impossible and make magic work.

He can’t.

I love how he manages to spin his own laziness as a virtue.

Gee, I can't even count the number of fantasy novels I've read that had an internally consistent, coherent system of magic that afterward made me think "huh, maybe the Gnosis is real. Maybe people really can channel." Or here's an idea: other authors actually put a little energy into their world building, you douche.

I never could understand why some writers treat women as helpless. Every woman I know is strong in her own unique way. Well, maybe not you, Stephanie. You seem a little helpless. I trust you will work on that.

Right. Which is why the women in your series are always getting almost raped, then escaping, not through any strength of their own, but through ridiculous coincidences. Also, insulting your readers is always recommendable.

Mostly, though, I would rather write my own story than read someone else’s. I think that one reason readers find my writing so different than any other author they’ve read is because I hardly ever read other fiction. Most authors devour fiction by the ton. I wonder if all of that reading of other authors’ work goes into the subconscious mix and homogenizes the way they tell stories. Since I so rarely read any fiction I have to write it completely my own way, without benefit of how others write.

Lies! Lies! Lies!

Agggggghhhhhhhh! I think that's all I can take for now. When I read his sentences I can actually feel my brain cells dying.

[The Pita]

Haven't we bashed this interview already?

Gah!

ME ANGRY FROM DOUBLE BASHING!

UN-YEARDED GROWING A YEARD!

RICHARD CRUSH!

(The hulk was plagiarism from the Sword of Truth. So were berserkers. Friggin berserkers)

[WLU]

Some more gems from the Q&A

Sorry FtOB, we already have an interview-basher and it is I - the OMEGA YEARD. I accept your apologies in advance. Fucker.

@Un-Yearded Pita:

Fuck.

In case people haven't realized it yet, I'm just posting to move higher on the post-count. Currently I'm one ahead of Wolf Maid and she's unlikely to let me choose more life than her.

[The Wolf Maid]

So Moose will be the 36EE-wearing Goat Boy-impersonating Delilah (damn typo last time!) that will seduce the Yeard into yielding up his feet-smelling cheese along with the Yeard of Truthiness?

I wonder how much liquor it'll take...

To what, DF? Seduce Tairy or to induce MM or Erzulie (as WLU suggested) to dress in drag and seduce him?

I wonder if TG knows about it? Otherwise he'd've edited his quotes for clarity by now surely... Then again, he probably just denies Erikson's record rather than face the facts.

Such facts contradicts his facts, and as contradictions do not exist, therefore the fact that Erikson broke that record do not exist for Tairy.

This thread is horridly inactive today, where is everybody? If you aren't in bookstores hiding Goodkind books or planning a massive aerial assault on his home, you should be in this thread mocking the Yeard. WLU did you say you are going to San Diego? What are you going for and how long? (And when I say how long I don't mean your penis, my ruler doesnt count in millimeters anyway)

InACTIVE? I suppose so. Back in the QotD days, we'd have 3 pages added or so.

[Larry.]

The second option. Giving Tairy regular alcohol is a waste of good alcohol. Arsenic-laced alcohol, however...that has potential, except Moose might get to it first and then he'd be a true death chooser...

[word]

Sorry FtOB, we already have an interview-basher and it is I - the OMEGA YEARD. I accept your apologies in advance. Fucker.

@Un-Yearded Pita:

Fuck.

In case people haven't realized it yet, I'm just posting to move higher on the post-count. Currently I'm one ahead of Wolf Maid and she's unlikely to let me choose more life than her.

WLU is helping prove the theory that although he normally has less posts they are good quality. Notice the steady decline in his posts "Double post because I can LAWLZ". Gimme a break.

FtOB if you are in need of a title I suggest you take Alpha Yeard so that you are > Omega Yeard.

InACTIVE? I suppose so. Back in the QotD days, we'd have 3 pages added or so.

I just meant today between like 6:00 am and 3:00 PM. It was like I was talking to myself (and Muttering Bill).

[The Wolf Maid]

The second option. Giving Tairy regular alcohol is a waste of good alcohol. Arsenic-laced alcohol, however...that has potential, except Moose might get to it first and then he'd be a true death chooser...

NO! NO arsenic for MM. He's too..adorably celerious for that.

(I think just died laughing at that )

I just meant today between like 6:00 am and 3:00 PM. It was like I was talking to myself (and Muttering Bill).

I was, uh, sleeping. Different timezones. The others might be working at that time, and their workplace doesn't let them access the net or the forums.

[word]

I was, uh, sleeping. Different timezones. The others might be working at that time, and their workplace doesn't let them access the net or the forums.

Nvm.... I was just making a statement about Today. I know you are from the Phillipines and like 13 hours different timezone, I wasn't even talking to anybody specifically I was just bored so I made a statement. There is no reason to pick it apart or answer it, it was just a statement I was making. I wasn't looking for an answer....I was just bored at work.

[The Wolf Maid]

I was just bored at work.

So am I. I copyedit scientific journals, and it blows my head off how irritating some of the authors are.

Speaking of copyediting, I wonder if Tairy's copyeditor was just simply flattering him. Lots of things don't make sense in Tairy's books. I guess WFR was treated mildly as it's the first one, but the next ones? I'm sure the copyeditors were hitting their heads on the table.

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Funny story (though slightly disturbing):

Around 6 o'clock this morning I fired up my computer, loaded the board on my browser, went and got a cup of coffee. I came back to read and post, and noticed my library copy of Phantom was open on the last page, since I quoted it in a previous post. I reached over and closed the book, which slid off of a pile of other (better books), and crashed into my 16 oz cup of hot coffee. The coffee then flew through the air, about 1/3 going into my keyboard, 1/3 onto my crotch and stomach, and the remainder onto my beige carpet.

My cries of "Fucking Yeard! Fucking piece of shit, OWWW my fucking burned fucking testicles!, etcetera" woke my wife, who came in and saw the mayhem and was less than pleased. After some carpet treatment and scrubbing, an intimate examination (luckily, my pajamas absorbed most of the hot liquid, and no damage is apparent to myself), and setting my keyboard out to dry, I told her "Look what Tairy has wrought."

My recommendation: never leave yourself alone with a copy of any TG book. It may smell your lemminghood, and try to disfigure you, destroy your possessions, and harm the resale value of your home. Also, it may harm any children that run across it, so put it someplace (a lead-lined box left under floorboards) no one can find it, and that it will have a hard time maiming you.

[Myshkin]

Nvm.... I was just making a statement about Today. I know you are from the Phillipines and like 13 hours different timezone, I wasn't even talking to anybody specifically I was just bored so I made a statement. There is no reason to pick it apart or answer it, it was just a statement I was making. I wasn't looking for an answer....I was just bored at work.

Your prayers have been answered.......... I have arrived and so your boredom will now cease!

[The Wolf Maid]

My cries of "Fucking Yeard! Fucking piece of shit, OWWW my fucking burned fucking testicles!, etcetera" woke my wife, who came in and saw the mayhem and was less than pleased. After some carpet treatment and scrubbing, an intimate examination (luckily, my pajamas absorbed most of the hot liquid, and no damage is apparent to myself), and setting my keyboard out to dry, I told her "Look what Tairy has wrought."

My recommendation: never leave yourself alone with a copy of any TG book. It may smell your lemminghood, and try to disfigure you, destroy your possessions, and harm the resale value of your home. Also, it may harm any children that run across it, so put it someplace (a lead-lined box left under floorboards) no one can find it, and that it will have a hard time maiming you.

Or future children, for that matter.

I'm glad you're OK, though...and the carpet, too. I'm tempted to theorize that this was part of the Yeard's plan to make sure no future lemmings are born. That bastard.

"Reading Goodkind is like having very hot coffee spilling on your crotch. It burns like hell."

[Myshkin]

I told her "Look what Tairy has wrought."

:rofl: :rofl:

[The Wolf Maid]

Your prayers have been answered.

There's about 4 lemmings around now, not so few anymore.

Just curious, what time is it over there? It's like 8:30 am here.

[Myshkin]

There's about 4 lemmings around now, not so few anymore.

Just curious, what time is it over there? It's like 8:30 am here.

It's about 5:30pm here in California. Where exactly do you live WM?

[word]

8:30 PM.

Vigo: ROFL. Thats all I have to say in relation to that story. Tairy brings pain and suffering even to people who haven't read his filth.

Where exactly do you live WM?

K look at where her name is on the left. Then look down to where it says From:. Then look to the right.

How most uncelerious of you!

[Myshkin]

8:30 PM.

Vigo: ROFL. Thats all I have to say in relation to that story. Tairy brings pain and suffering even to people who haven't read his filth.

K look at where her name is on the left. Then look down to where it says From:. Then look to the right.

How most uncelerious of you!

I know she lives in the Philippines, I was wondering what city. That's why I used the qualifier "exactly". How very uncelerious of you.

[The Wolf Maid]

It's about 5:30pm here in California. Where exactly do you live WM?

As word pointed out, it's under my name. I'm in the capital city (Metro Manila).

[WLU]

WLU is helping prove the theory that although he normally has less posts they are good quality. Notice the steady decline in his posts "Double post because I can LAWLZ". Gimme a break.

Fortunately I still win 'cause it's my theory.

Incidentally, as the one who cracked the code, you're now on my list. Though your title suggestion for FtOB removes you from it. So your net risk of untimely death is naught.

Speaking of copyediting, I wonder if Tairy's copyeditor was just simply flattering him. Lots of things don't make sense in Tairy's books. I guess WFR was treated mildly as it's the first one, but the next ones? I'm sure the copyeditors were hitting their heads on the table.

Want a hobby as frustrating as your job? Try editing wikipedia. Want a hobby that forms an unholy fusion between your job and what you do on this board? Edit the Sword of Truth pages on wikipedia.

Incidentally, Wolf Maid and word just took over my post-lead. Grumble.

... noticed my library copy of Phantom was open on the last page, since I quoted it in a previous post. I reached over and closed the book, which slid off of a pile of other (better books)...

... such as Mein Kampf, the complete works of L. Ron Hubbard, the screenplay of a Plan 9 from Outer Space-Gigli-Glitter crossover, a printed copy of The Eye of Argon...

"Look what Tairy has wrought."

If that's not a good thread title, I don't know what is.

My recommendation: never leave yourself alone with a copy of any TG book. It may smell your lemminghood, and try to disfigure you, destroy your possessions, and harm the resale value of your home. Also, it may harm any children that run across it, so put it someplace (a lead-lined box left under floorboards) no one can find it, and that it will have a hard time maiming you.

Proper storage for a Book of The Yeard is in a bucket of orphan's tears to appease it, or charitable donations to punish it.

I know she lives in the Philippines, I was wondering what city. That's why I used the qualifier "exactly". How very uncelerious of you.

Word, you just got served. Are you going to take that? Are you a lemming or are you a mouse?

Fight! FIGHT!! BRING THE DEATH!!!

[From that One Book]

Haven't we bashed this interview already?

Gah!

ME ANGRY FROM DOUBLE BASHING!

UN-YEARDED GROWING A YEARD!

RICHARD CRUSH!

(The hulk was plagiarism from the Sword of Truth. So were berserkers. Friggin berserkers)

My mistake. I thought bashing Tairy interviews was an, admittedly easy, initiation process.

Sorry FtOB, we already have an interview-basher and it is I - the OMEGA YEARD. I accept your apologies in advance. Fucker.

WLU, your spine is mine. You've been warned.