MinDonner Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 My vote is on "totally new kind of magic (plus rule!) is suddenly discovered by Dick which magically saves the day in proper Deus Ex fashion". Or maybe Tairy's had enough of metaphorical Deus Ex Machinas and has an actual god come out of the Omen Machine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 My vote is on "totally new kind of magic (plus rule!) is suddenly discovered by Dick which magically saves the day in proper Deus Ex fashion". Or maybe Tairy's had enough of metaphorical Deus Ex Machinas and has an actual god come out of the Omen Machine?Oh! Maybe he pulls a King and THE YEARD HIMSELF steps out of the omen machine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 5 imaginary dollars says Kahlan is preggers. Sucker bet. TG telegraphed that motive back in the day with Shota...Somehow her (expected) pregnancy will be a FORCE FOR DOOM! for the world, as Shota suggested, but in the end, Richard will send the baby into the future, where it will become Jax and thus the tie in to LoN's will be complete... Oh and all of this will comprimise about three more novels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodomens Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 And...done. Tired and slightly inebriated. Final update tomorrow, but for now know that it was... well I can't say disappointing because my expectations were extremely low to begin with so we'll say that it was a yeard quality ending. Another bullet saved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Another bullet saved. You assume he sufferes from zero PTSD... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 The Omen Machine Chapter 73 - End. Now that we've got the incoherent and continuity-free plot out of the way, it's time for the Yeard's specialty, rushed and anti-climactic endings. So Kahlan of course is chased by the hounds to the hedge-maid's Lair of Evil. We are treated to another descriptions of it's swampy evilness (what do all these villains who live out in swamps eat anyway? Especially villains who have their mouths sewn shut). Kahlan finds hand-scratcher kid stuck in the walls with all the other people and cuts him out. There are of course dozens of other people in there too but fuck them, they are not part of the plot. K is of course immediately captured by the ghosts/nambles/whatever who strip her and start to stick her in the walls. Apparently they're going to turn K into some kind of ghost thingy too. Back at the palace the hunt is on for Kahlan, no one knows where she's gone but Richard figures it out in about 8 seconds, demands a horse and takes off! He takes no map, no guide, and no supplies. Apparently the only thing his magic is good for is finding places that he only heard of 2 days ago and has no idea where they are. Also, as fast as people keep getting back and forth to and from this place it seems like it is only about 45 feet from the palace (but then, Tairy is legend for his geography). Dick runs into the kid that K cut loose and tells him to go bring the army, who I'm guessing will arrive just after Dick manages to defeat everyone and wrap the plot up. Once Dick arrives at the Lair of Evil, we are get yet another description of it. Dick thinks tactically like a boss and decides to come in through the roof instead of through the door. He starts KILLING THE SHIT out of ghosts, but since they're already dead they don't notice. They take his sword and start wrapping him up in the walls too. He has a fantastic revelation and sticks a piece of his shirt in his and Kahlan's ears, then cuts the stuff sewing the hedge-maid's lips shut. She starts screaming which of course kills her and all the ghosts. Hooray! Turns out that the hedge-maid had a new kind of magic (way to go lemmings) and it the magic of DEATH ITSELF. And her scream is the VOICE OF THE KEEPER OF THE UNDERWORLD MUAHAHAHAHAHA. They get rescued by the army, Cara says something un-mord-sith-like. Then she laughs. Then Richard laughs. Then all the men laugh. The end. .................... Plot hole deconstruction time! #4 The Boxes of Orden specifically make one The Master of Life and Death. This is canon. How can the Hedge-maid's magic be outside of Richard's reach if it the magic of death and he is the master of death? #3 Mord-Sith specifically get their power from the link to the Rahl. How is it possible that they can be working against him? Also, can there really be so many of them that no one notices when some go missing #2 The Temple of the Winds. What with everyone in the world freaking out over prophecy and demanding additional info about, and there being vital info about their specific problem stored there, would it really have been so hard for D&K to say "Hey guys, we take your concerns seriously, we're going to nip off to a repository of prophecy for some vital information, BRB)? #1 Dick has SUPREME ULTIMATE POWERS. He used them to create a parallel universe! He used them to stop the chimes! He brought the Temple of the Winds back from the underworld! He reversed the chainfire spell and erased people's memories! What the fuck happened to his power? Anyway, unfortunately the whole Hanna Montana plot line and Omen Machine plot lines remain completely unresolved so we're in for at least 1 more book, though I bet it's 2 or 3. ______________________________________________Travelling pants: 1Jaw injuries: 0Distinctive rings: 3Raptor like gazes: 0War Wizard outfits: 1Almost rapes: 0.5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodomens Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Chapter 73 - End.... No Christmas card for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 No Christmas card for you. I did try to warn you in advance. I can say though that the speechifying, rise-up-and-live-your-life stuff that pushed the other novels into such unreadability was vastly toned down, along with the BDSM. It's probably the "best" of the books since the 3rd one or so. (Which is like taking the bronze in the special olympics but whatchagonnado eh?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodomens Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 It's probably the "best" of the books since the 3rd one or so.It's probably the "best" of the books since the 3rd one or so.It's probably the "best" of the books since the 3rd one or so. Nip and tuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Well. Now I feel much more sanguine about my imminent brain damage while attempting to review Mission: Earth. I know it will be as stupid, but less insidiously so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheKassi Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 #1 Dick has SUPREME ULTIMATE POWERS. He used them to create a parallel universe! He used them to stop the chimes! He brought the Temple of the Winds back from the underworld! He reversed the chainfire spell and erased people's memories! What the fuck happened to his power? ______ My guess would be either the boxes granted supreme cosmic power for ten minutes or so, or Richard laid the power back down after he was done with it. Then again, you keep talking about canon. The Sword of Truth series doesn't have canon. As example, Nathan showed Richard how to sling fireballs in about ten seconds, and stated he could learn to do it on his own with just a little time. Wizards teach other wizards how to be wizards quickly. The only reason the Palace of the Prophets existed was because it takes gals forever to teach a man what to do with his mojo, This was book two. In book four Richard learned how to work extremely complicated magics, magics so complicated conjuring them resulted in the deaths of many well trained wizards, by reading books in the temple of winds for a week or two. Later in the series a war wizard's power isn't something that can be taught, as it is ruled by instinct, rather then reason. Another example is a confessor's power. In one book it is billed as something a confessor must constantly restrain. In the next you can trick her into thinking it is gone. Mister Goodkind doesn't let world building paint him into a corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antonius Pius Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Mister Goodkind doesn't let world building paint him into a corner. Nor consistency, it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerec Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Only death-choosers let world building and consistency get in the way of important human themes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 It's probably the "best" of the books since the 3rd one or so. I can totally see this as one of the author "blurbs" you see on the back of novels..."It's probably the 'best' of the books since the 3rd one or so!" - 'Tormund Midgetsbane' for the Lemmings of Discord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 My vote is on "totally new kind of magic (plus rule!) is suddenly discovered by Dick which magically saves the day in proper Deus Ex fashion". Turns out that the hedge-maid had a new kind of magic (way to go lemmings) and it the magic of DEATH ITSELF. I'm so damn good. :smoking: Again with the magic-defying earplugs though! Was there even any mention of the remarkable similarity to the Chimes? Or might that be a subject for a future book? Might the EVIL CHICKEN COME BACK?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted September 6, 2011 Author Share Posted September 6, 2011 I'm a little disappointed. I mean Tairy has always been a shit writer, with horrible ideas, but at least he had passion. This time though, he seems to have just phoned it in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWHamel Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 No. 4 on the New York Times best seller list for hardcover fiction. :devil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrellius Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Thank you for your sacrifice, Tormund. Goodomens, Instead of the return of the Chicken that is not a chicken, couldnt Tairy use lemmings as a plot device to show that something is not right in Dickland? Lemmings just casually throwing themselves off of cliffs, or randomly impaling themselves on Dick's sword. Repeatedly, throughout the next book? You know, choosing death and such? Speaking as someone that once scored a brutally deep gash on my palm, and not long after, had to saddle and ride, it is possible. In before I'm also blind now and I live as a warning to others. fpfpfp! Those volunterring for Namble milking should be provided with adequate protective gear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 /petpeeve LEMMINGS DONT JUMP OFF CLIFFS /endpetpeeve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 /petpeeve LEMMINGS DONT JUMP OFF CLIFFS /endpetpeeve Yes they do, Disney says so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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