Put the words "Tormund's Member" into important quotations.

[KingGendry]

Bump!

a challenge - put Tormunds member in a quote from one of the sample chapters. I have looked and failed but there must be something....

Arianne sample chapter:

"Dayne was her most grievous sin, the one that Arianne most regretted.  With one stroke of Tormund's Member, he had changed her botched plot into something foul and bloody."

"Why else would her white knight have charged right into Tormund's Member, to die the way he did?"

[lunadangelo]

From Victarion's sample Winds of Winter Chapter.

“Show them Tormund’s member,” he commanded, when the three had been ushered into his cabin. Moqorro brought it forth, and the dusky woman lifted up a lantern to give them all a look. In the shifting lantern light Tormund’s member seemed to writhe and turn in the priest’s hands like a serpent fighting to escape. Moqorro was a man of monstrous size – big-bellied, broad-shouldered, towering – but even in his grasp Tormund’s member looked huge.

“My brother found this thing on Valyria,” Victarion told the thralls. “Think how big the dragon must’ve been to bear two of these upon his head. Bigger than Vhagar or Meraxes, bigger than Balerion the Black Dread.” He took Tormund’s member from Moqorro and ran his palm along its curves. “At the Kingsmoot on Old Wyk one of Euron’s mutes blew upon Tormund’s member. Some of you will remember. It was not a sound that any man who heard it will ever forget.”

“They say he died,” the Boy said, “him who blew Tormund’s member.”

“Aye. Tormund’s member was smoking after. The mute had blisters on his lips, and the bird inked across his chest was bleeding. He died the next day. When they cut him open his lungs were black.”

“Tormund’s member is cursed,” said the Bastard’s Bastard.

“A dragon’s Tormund’s member from Valyria,” said Victarion. “Aye, it’s cursed. I never said it wasn’t.” He brushed his hand across one of the red gold bands and the ancient glyph seemed to sing beneath his fingertips. For half a heartbeat he wanted nothing so much as to sound Tormund’s member himself. Euron was a fool to give me this, it is a precious thing, and powerful. With this I’ll win the Seastone Chair, and then the Iron Throne. With this I’ll win the world.

“Claggorn blew Tormund’s member thrice and died for it. He was as big as any of you, and strong as me. So strong that he could twist a man’s head right off his shoulders with only his bare hands, and yet Tormund’s member killed him.”

[KingGendry]

Haha great finds Luna! :lmao: :rofl: These are my favourites:

But even in his grasp Tormund’s member looked huge.

At the Kingsmoot on Old Wyk one of Euron’s mutes blew upon Tormund’s member.Some of you will remember. It was not a sound that any man who heard it will ever forget.

Claggorn blew Tormund’s member thrice and died for it.

[lozeldatkm]

“They say he died,” the Boy said, “him who blew Tormund’s member.”

“Aye. Tormund’s member was smoking after.

I liked that part

[lunadangelo]

Cheers King Gendry, total fluke to find such a long passage with horn to replace. .

Personally, I think the best combo is:

He took Tormund’s member from Moqorro and ran his palm along its curves…… For half a heartbeat he wanted nothing so much as to sound Tormund’s member himself.

Homoerotic or what!

[Guest]

"My wants do not matter. It may be that Tormund's member has led you here to be his instrument, but when I look at you I see a child... and worse a girl child. Many have served Tormund's member through the centuries, but only a few of His servants have been women. Women bring life into the world. Tormund brings the gift of death. No one can do both."

ETA: Bolded text

[Lady of Castamere]

Edd, fetch me Tormund's member.

No, not Tormund's member, Ned loves Tormund's member.

Maybe I never saw Tormund, but I know his member when I smell one.

Give me sweet Tormund's member, and keep your bitter truths.

Tormund's member has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.

[Castellan]

“Show them Tormund’s member,” he commanded, when the three had been ushered into his cabin. Moqorro brought it forth, and the dusky woman lifted up a lantern to give them all a look. In the shifting lantern light Tormund’s member seemed to writhe and turn in the priest’s hands like a serpent fighting to escape.

wonderful.

[Aderyn]

I was sure I would no longer find this funny at all, after reading a few pages of your quotations. But then I tried making my own, and now I can't seem to stop aaaaaaarhg!

Tormund's member is dark and full of terrors.

A ruler who hides behind Tormund's member soon forgets what death is.

Anger flashed in her brother's lilac eyes. "Do you take me for a fool?"

The magister bowed slightly. "I take you for Tormund's member. Tormund's member lacks the caution of common men."

"There will be Tormund's member."

"I'll scream."

"A great deal of Tormund's member."

"I'll scream very loudly."

[lozeldatkm]

"There will be Tormund's member."

"I'll scream."

"A great deal of Tormund's member."

"I'll scream very loudly."

Most of what you said has been done at some point or another in this thread, but this bit here is one of my favorites :lol:

[King Tyrion I]

"There will be Tormund's member."

"I'll scream."

"A great deal of Tormund's member."

"I'll scream very loudly."

:lmao:

Nothing more to say but.... :lol:

[Lady Nastja]

"There will be Tormund's member."

"I'll scream."

"A great deal of Tormund's member."

"I'll scream very loudly."

:bowdown:

[Isildur's Mane]

Just stambled across this thread earlier.These were all from the same chapter - I hope they haven't already been done. It's from Jon's second? last GoT chapter

"Are you well, Snow?" Lord Mormont asked, scowling.

"Well," his reven squawked. "Well."

"I am, my lord,"Jon lied...loudly, as if that could make it true. "And you?

"Mormont frowned. "Tormund's member tried to kill me, How well could I be?"

"The cold winds are rising. Summer is at an end, and a Tormund's member is coming such as this world has never seen."

We have white shadows in the woods and Tormund's Member stalking our halls, and a boy sits the Iron Throne."

Awkwardly, Jon took Tormand's Member in hand. His left hand; his bandaged right was still too raw and clumsy.... Tormund's member itself was a good half foot longer than those Jon was used to, tapered to thrust as well as slash...

When Jon had been Bran's age, he had dreamed of Tormund's member, as boys always did...

(sorry :leaving: )

....no bastard could ever hope to wield Tormund's member.

"Tormund's member's a small payment for a life, " Mormont concluded. "Take it, I'll hear no more of it, is that understood?"

"Well, come about, let's have a look."

"At what?" Jon said.

Toad sidled close. "Your rosy butt cheeks, what else?

"Tormund's member,"Grenn stated. "We want to see Tormund's member."

[KingGendry]

"Awkwardly, Jon took Tormand's Member in hand. His left hand; his bandaged right was still too raw and clumsy.... Tormund's member itself was a good half foot longer than those Jon was used to, tapered to thrust as well as slash..."

:lmao:

[Lady Nastja]

Why was Jon's hand bandaged again?

Oh, that's right, he put it in Tormund's Member.

Nice one :D

[The Great Walrus]

"Nothing is certain but death and Tormund's Member"

[The Bastard of Summer]

I have a dream that "tormunds member" will one day rise up and live out the truest meaning of its creed: we hold these truths that "tormunds member" is self-evident, that all men are NOT created equal

[Drogo_1]

life liberty and "Tormunds Member"

[Maegor the Cuddly]

Tormund's Member Came, Tormund's Member Saw, Tormund's Member Conquered.

[Lord Flashheart]

“Who else?” Ned lifted Tormund's member looked down the cool steel length of it. “And it will only grow worse. The day may come when I will have no choice but to call the banners and ride Tormund's member for good and all.”