Best to Worst Mothers in ASOIAF

[JCx]

Best- Ellaria, Cat and Ravella Swann

Worst- Sybell Spicer and Cersei

[WeirwoodTreeHugger]

Skoboe, on 23 Oct 2013 - 3:30 PM, said:

I fail to see how Cat can be regarded as a good mother.

Sure, she absolutely doted on Robb, but she couldn't control Arya or Bran, she allowed her two daughters to leave home without any fuss, she abandoned her two youngest boys - one while still in a coma - to run an errand, and apart from a few chapters at the start only ever saw one of her five children.

She didn't even high-tail it back to Winterfell when Bran and Rickon were 'murdered', instead she goes and plans a wedding!

Try reading some history. It used to be very common for the children of wealthy aristocrats to be sent off to court. In fact, Arya was sent in an effort to get her to become more of a proper lady (you know, control her). Sansa was sent because she was betrothed to Joffrey and needed to learn the ways of KL society. Sending them to KL was quite appropriate in the context of the society they lived in.

Even in the 19th century, wealthy families frequently sent their children off to boarding schools and most of the parenting was done by their governess.

The tight knit "nuclear family" is actually a very recent invention.

[WeirwoodTreeHugger]

I try not to judge other people's parenting too much but whenever anybody advocates for attachment parenting IRL, I always think of Lysa.

[UVA]

I try not to judge other people's parenting too much but whenever anybody advocates for attachment parenting IRL, I always think of Lysa.

LOL, as an AP adherent I would have to say that Lysa is an example of AP gone wrong.

ETA the OP's question: Best mothers:

Cat Stark: because she is so often the best example of maternal love in the series

Ellaria Sand: because she has a good balance of love/acceptance and discipline

Maege Mormont: because her girls are self-reliant and just cool.

Worst/or not as exemplary:

Lysa: because she encouraged dependence. If you need to be needed, get a puppy.

Selyse: because she is a religious fanatic, blind to her child

[dmo862000]

Am I the only one who thinks Cat wasn't a great mother? She consistently gave Robb bad advice and undermined him. Sure when Bran got hurt she stayed by his side but to the detriment of the other children. She put her entire family at risk, which includes her children, by kidnapping Tyrion even though some of her kids were at KL which obviously put them in a bad spot. I'm not saying she didn't love her kids but loving and being a good mother are two different things. She often let her emotions get the best of her.

[Minsc]

Am I the only one who thinks Cat wasn't a great mother? She consistently gave Robb bad advice and undermined him.

If Robb had listened to her more often he would be still alive and the rest of her children would have been much safer.

Sure when Bran got hurt she stayed by his side but to the detriment of the other children. She put her entire family at risk, which includes her children, by kidnapping Tyrion even though some of her kids were at KL which obviously put them in a bad spot.

She only arrested Tyrion after he saw her while she was traveling incognito, and if she didn't act first she would have been placing herself and her family in more or equal danger according to knowledge she knew at the time.

[Alayne's Shadow.]

Am I the only one who thinks Cat wasn't a great mother? She consistently gave Robb bad advice and undermined him. Sure when Bran got hurt she stayed by his side but to the detriment of the other children. She put her entire family at risk, which includes her children, by kidnapping Tyrion even though some of her kids were at KL which obviously put them in a bad spot. I'm not saying she didn't love her kids but loving and being a good mother are two different things. She often let her emotions get the best of her.

LOL at Cat's bad advices. If Robb had followed them he'd be married with Roslin, Sansa would've been traded for Jaime and married possibly to Willas Tyrell, thus finding a powerful ally, and Winterfell would be safe without Theon's departure to the Iron Islands.

I think GRRM stated that Cat always made Jon aware he was not welcome or trusted.

Because he ___________....

That wasn't what he said per se. He said Jon knew she'd rather have him somewhere else and she drew the line in official gatherings such as the King's visit and her children's rights to Winterfell. That's hardly a big issue. She avoided contact with him for a reason - Nobody can be coerced into liking another.

And let us not even raise her spiteful treatment of Jon, who was bastard or not just a child.

That shouldn't say anything about her parenting.

[dmo862000]

She did advise against sending Theon to request Balon's help, true. She also advised Robb to put Roose in charge over the Greatjon Umber. That panned out great. Giving Roose Bolton an important position was terrific advice!

[David Selig]

Inspired by this thread:

http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/93866-best-to-worst-the-fathers-in-the-song-of-ice-and-fire/

For me the best would be

1. Joana Lannister

2. Olenna Redwyne

3. Catelyn Tully

What exactly in the books shows Joanna to be a good mother? Serious question - I honestly can't think of anything, there's practically no info on her parenting methods and skills.

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

She did advise against sending Theon to request Balon's help, true. She also advised Robb to put Roose in charge over the Greatjon Umber. That panned out great. Giving Roose Bolton an important position was terrific advice!

He was a better choice than the Greatjon. How was she anyone supposed to know that Roose was going to betray them?

[dmo862000]

He was a better choice than the Greatjon. How was she anyone supposed to know that Roose was going to betray them?

I mean the Boltons have consistently been an unreliable house. When in their history have they shown to be honorable allies? The Starks have put down multiple rebellions by them. They have a fancy for flaying. They have not given any reason to be trustworthy throughout their entire existence. To rely on them so wholeheartedly is obviously stupid.

[The Grey Wolf]

Best: Ellaria, Catelyn, Sam's Mom

Worst: Cersei, Lysa [though Lysa isn't exactly of sound mind]

Also, I pity Alaynnse Harlaw. She's lost practically all her kids thanks to her husband [who obviously doesn't care about his own family] and the part where Asha remembers her asking about her little boy [AKA Theon] was just sad.

[Winter's Knight]

Looking over the thread, I notice that we don't have any terrible mothers that come close to the terrible fathers of Westeros. Even if you exclude Craster as an abnormality, you don't have a mother comparable to Tywin or Randyll.

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

I mean the Boltons have consistently been an unreliable house. When in their history have they shown to be honorable allies? The Starks have put down multiple rebellions by them. They have a fancy for flaying. They have not given any reason to be trustworthy throughout their entire existence. To rely on them so wholeheartedly is obviously stupid.

If it was so stupid, why did nobody say so? Roose is someone who commands the respect of his fellow lords and is experienced enough to not do anything rash or stupid.

[Stannis Eats No Peaches]

Looking over the thread, I notice that we don't have any terrible mothers that come close to the terrible fathers of Westeros. Even if you exclude Craster as an abnormality, you don't have a mother comparable to Tywin or Randyll.

Cersei's more recent attitude to Tommen, while not as extreme, is fairly close to how Randyll treated Sam. While I agree that Tywin and Randyll are worse, Lysa and Cersei come fairly close to the mark.

[David Selig]

I mean the Boltons have consistently been an unreliable house. When in their history have they shown to be honorable allies?

Last 1000 years or so? Who cares that they used to fight the Starks before that, so did all the rest of the North at some point.

And BTW, Robb chose Roose himself. All Cat did was tell him that choosing a hotheaded guy like Greatjon was wrong, which was true. It wasn't her who put Roose in charge of the foot for months either, that was Robb all on his own.

[TalalOfDorne]

What exactly in the books shows Joanna to be a good mother? Serious question - I honestly can't think of anything, there's practically no info on her parenting methods and skills.

Yeah, Ive always questioned Joannas parenting skills. I guess I still dont have a clear opinion on the matter.

Oh and Cat also suggested the negotiation with Renly. Im nor sure where this "She gave Robb bad advice" is coming from.

[Alayne's Shadow.]

She did advise against sending Theon to request Balon's help, true. She also advised Robb to put Roose in charge over the Greatjon Umber. That panned out great. Giving Roose Bolton an important position was terrific advice!

That was the best decision though, considering both of their personalities on the field. Also, how would she know he'd betray their cause? He did fought for Ned in the past...

[Roland Deschain of Gilead]

Wow it's actually rather hard to name good mothers...

1. Catelyn

2. Maege Mormont

3. Mrs Reed.

Worst three

1. Cersei

2. Lysa

3. Seylese

[dmo862000]

If it was so stupid, why did nobody say so? Roose is someone who commands the respect of his fellow lords and is experienced enough to not do anything rash or stupid.

Last 1000 years or so? Who cares that they used to fight the Starks before that, so did all the rest of the North at some point.

And BTW, Robb chose Roose himself. All Cat did was tell him that choosing a hotheaded guy like Greatjon was wrong, which was true. It wasn't her who put Roose in charge of the foot for months either, that was Robb all on his own.

First off, according to the Wiki the Boltons have rebelled within an unpsecified recent amount of centuries. That means less than a thousand years ago otherwise they wouldn't use the term centuries.If it was so stupid why didn.t anyone say something? I don't know, I would think people generally wouldn't want to oppose the second most powerful house in the North who are known for flaying enemies alive and their current Lord basically lets his bastard son run rampant and toy with people as he pleases. Roose is a cruel bastard which is why he seems so appealing a choice as a 'General' but putting him in such an important position was pretty stupid. The Boltons have been chomping at the bit to rule the North based on their history and therefore placing someone like Roose in such a position was pretty stupid.