Zoë Sumra Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 [quote name='Kevin_Lannister' post='1561579' date='Oct 20 2008, 17.17']LOL what is a "yeard" by the way. Ive been on these posts for months and reading them without posting for a year and heard it over and over again lol what is it. Its obviously him or something about him but Id like to hear it from you.[/quote] From earlier (as Myshkin is so good at succinct explanations: [quote name='Myshkin' post='1558671' date='Oct 16 2008, 23.14']A yeard is a beard/ponytail combination, such as Goodkind wears in the author pictures at the back of his books. The Yeard is Tairy Goodkind himself, even though he recently shaved his head (we have all agreed that Yeardiness is a state of being not necessarily predicated upon having a yeard).[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin_Lannister Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 [quote]A yeard is a beard/ponytail combination, such as Goodkind wears in the author pictures at the back of his books. The Yeard is Tairy Goodkind himself, even though he recently shaved his head (we have all agreed that Yeardiness is a state of being not necessarily predicated upon having a yeard).[/quote] HAHAHAH LONG LIVE THE YEARED ONES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdanel Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 This thread should properly be called Goodkind XL according to the rules of Roman numbers. We are now in the Extra Large territory, which fits well with Goodkind's Extra Large doorstoppers. As for The Legend of the Seeker spinoff, Goodkind has done that in SoT already: The Legend of the Seeker's Half-Sister! Jennsen and Betty the Goat heroic action! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyacine_martell Posted October 20, 2008 Share Posted October 20, 2008 [quote]1) He is a bad writer in the sense that he has no grasp of how to write. I am speaking of the objective, quantifiable aspects of writing, such as sentence structure, ect... 2) He is a bad writer in the sense that he has no imagination; telling a story complete with every fantasy cliche you could think of, and actively plagiarizing his contemporaries. 3) He is a bad writer in the sense that he is unable to create a consistent world, plot, or characters, and is unable to create depth in any of said areas. 4) He is a bad writer in the sense that he continually reuses the same plotlines and conflicts in every novel, unwilling or unable to move forward in his narrative. 5) He is a bad writer in the sense that he is incapable of subtlety; instead bashing you over the head with every point he tries to make. 6) He is a bad writer in the sense that he is unwilling to challenge his message; instead creating strawman arguments for the proponents of his message to kick down. 7) He is an asshole because he believes that he is the greatest fantasy writer of all time. He believes that the genre was an endless loop of crap, with no moral compass before he came along. All this while actively claiming that he does not indeed write fantasy, and has in fact never read any fantasy. 8) He is an asshole because he believes himself to have changed fantasy, while the truth is that he has run afoul of every single cliche in the genre, and has actively plagiarized Robert Jordan. 9) He is an asshole because he espouses through his novels an extremely simplified version of an already overly simplistic philosophy, and styles himself a great philosopher because of it. 10) He is an asshole because he espouses through his novels an extremely monstrous version of an already disturbing and flawed philosophy, and styles himself a great philosopher because of it. 11) He is an asshole because he views himself as the only holder of universal Truth, and if you do not believe in his simplistic and monstrous version of this simplistic, disturbing, and flawed philosophy he labels you a "death chooser", and claims that you hate his philosophy because you hate life and truth and the people who love them. You are, in his eyes, "a note wrapped around a brick and thrown through a window" in an attempt to scare people away from the Truth. 12) He is an asshole because...... well because he's just a plain asshole. Read his interviews to see what I mean.[/quote] Um, plus he wrote a scene in which a CHICKEN was the embodiment of all evil. And he once had his characters stand around in field for seven solid chapters talking about how they wished so-and-so would show up and then--by God! So-and-so did! One so-and-so per chapter! Repeat until insane! As someone who cherishes the written word I am pleased that one of the first thing non-Yeardians attack is the fact that The Yeard *cannot* write--even at a basic grammatical level. Maybe he could once--but when he got famous he decided he didn't need to write purty no more. And he ripped off Robert Jordan so blatantly I'm surprised Jordan didn't sue. I need to find that WoT/SoT comparison chart I made when I was 14! Astounding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I was idly pondering Tairyland this morning (as one does), and the following thoughts amused me: 1) It must be really hard for Richard to be an Objectivist in a world that makes no objective sense and doesn't even follow its own rules. I mean, if he's supposed to use Cold Reason to determine his actions, and you have a magic system that constantly contradicts itself, human behaviour that makes no sense and even laws of physics that are optional, no wonder he's gone batshit insane. 2) So, his punishment for all those Eeeeeeeeeeebil testicle-chomping rapists was, um, to get their own planet, conveniently devoid of a god they didn't believe in anyway and a hell they would no longer be going to? Did Richard also send the rape victims and other ordinary IO people to this new planet? And wasn't it noble of Jennsen to go to Planet Gang-Rape so she wouldn't pollute Richardland with her anti-magic genes? Of course, it was all for Richard's benefit, so it had to be the right decision. Hmmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerec Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 I love how much blood people lose in these books, and yet they can be patched up and ready to fight a battle not too much later. From the writing, I keep imagining bucket fulls of Richard's blood being spilled when he actually does get injured in a fight. And even that is more plausible than the famous RIP OUT THE BAD GUY'S SPINE scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 [quote name='MinDonner' post='1562401' date='Oct 21 2008, 05.49']I was idly pondering Tairyland this morning (as one does), and the following thoughts amused me: 1) It must be really hard for Richard to be an Objectivist in a world that makes no objective sense and doesn't even follow its own rules. I mean, if he's supposed to use Cold Reason to determine his actions, and you have a magic system that constantly contradicts itself, human behaviour that makes no sense and even laws of physics that are optional, no wonder he's gone batshit insane. 2) So, his punishment for all those Eeeeeeeeeeebil testicle-chomping rapists was, um, to get their own planet, conveniently devoid of a god they didn't believe in anyway and a hell they would no longer be going to? Did Richard also send the rape victims and other ordinary IO people to this new planet? And wasn't it noble of Jennsen to go to Planet Gang-Rape so she wouldn't pollute Richardland with her anti-magic genes? Of course, it was all for Richard's benefit, so it had to be the right decision. Hmmm...[/quote] Hey folks, long time. :kiss: As much as it pains me to contradict the Holy Mother of Goats I must point out that the IO were ultra-religious freaks with some nasty habits (gang-raping for the greater good etc). Since Ol' Dick cut them off from the afterlife he did spare them hell, assuming that's where they were going. The oft-mentioned creator in these books never makes an appearance, nor is any indication given (iirc) that such a being exists in the Tairyverse, so we don't know what other options the afterlife might have held for them. So, yes, Dick gave them exactly what they wanted, a world without magic where the IO has total power to do whatever they want without consequences. Works fine for those who are there since the boxes of Orden seemed to read the souls of everyone on the planet to see who should go to which world (or something like that, I think. It could have been just Dick and his friends). So everyone left with the IO are those who think the way the IO does. Sadly, future generations get royally screwed over in this arrangement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andhaira Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Yeah but its pretty obvious that this 'new planet' is actually Earth. So tairy is saying to the READER that YOU are descended from a bunch of testicle choming rapists. Also, cein his next novel is a detective thriller set in..*gasp* earth is it too much of a stretch to think that tairy will put in a 'sbutle' easter egg or two there. Say maybe modern S&M bondage techniques were actually the result of a real mord sith crossing over. Or something. Maybe in the future as he starts becoming more insane (like Moorcock became) he will have this new world (earth) come into conflict with tairyland whewre richard and kahlan dwell. Maybe earth wil have been conquered by 'colored' people and pasifists who are actually impriosned but don't know it; richard will finally decide to come over and send these 'mud' people back into the huts where they 'belong'. (with their chickens ofcourse) Hmm, but would richards nuclear bomb spell work against tanks, mechs, airplanes, nukes, etc? I suppose he will need the baku ban mana for help... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marwyn Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 [quote name='Andhaira' post='1562529' date='Oct 21 2008, 14.54']Yeah but its pretty obvious that this 'new planet' is actually Earth. So tairy is saying to the READER that YOU are descended from a bunch of testicle choming rapists. Also, cein his next novel is a detective thriller set in..*gasp* earth is it too much of a stretch to think that tairy will put in a 'sbutle' easter egg or two there. Say maybe modern S&M bondage techniques were actually the result of a real mord sith crossing over. Or something. Maybe in the future as he starts becoming more insane (like Moorcock became) he will have this new world (earth) come into conflict with tairyland whewre richard and kahlan dwell. Maybe earth wil have been conquered by 'colored' people and pasifists who are actually impriosned but don't know it; richard will finally decide to come over and send these 'mud' people back into the huts where they 'belong'. (with their chickens ofcourse) Hmm, but would richards nuclear bomb spell work against tanks, mechs, airplanes, nukes, etc? I suppose he will need the baku ban mana for help...[/quote] Well y'know, that means that HE'S descended from the same bunch of rapists. (Or maybe he is simply a Messenger of Truth, the Nobility of Humankind made flesh, the Avatar of Richard Rahl.) I can see him becoming insane tbh. He might even start his own cult, that'd be cool. With My* as his right hand. Zomg, they're going to take over the world! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piper Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 [quote name='Jerec' post='1562417' date='Oct 21 2008, 05.52']And even that is more plausible than the famous RIP OUT THE BAD GUY'S SPINE scene.[/quote] This scene has to be on my list of "Top Five SoT scenes that I can't wait for them to put in a mainstream TV series." Up there with the testicle munching, the kick to the little girl, the battle of painted naked people, and Zedd convincing a hoard of people their 'manhoods' have vanished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 The ad currently at the top of my version of this page reads: "Ayn Rand Forums Debate and discussion for rational individuals" :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andhaira Posted October 21, 2008 Author Share Posted October 21, 2008 Ripped out someones spine? Reaaaallly? :D When and where did this happen? I only recall the few books in the series I read (first 5) vfery distantly... I bet tairy was playing mortal kombat on his gameboy when he wrote that scene... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 [quote name='Andhaira' post='1562784' date='Oct 21 2008, 13.20']Ripped out someones spine? Reaaaallly? :D When and where did this happen? I only recall the few books in the series I read (first 5) vfery distantly... I bet tairy was playing mortal kombat on his gameboy when he wrote that scene...[/quote] you can read it [url="http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=10222&view=findpost&p=376585"]here[/url] On a similar note, lets not forget that Nicci ripped out a man's still-beating heart [url="http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=10889&view=findpost&p=410129"]here[/url] Good times, good times. Edit: FATALITY!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 The blog should be posted once a page, what with all of the new Lemmings coming. Also, the Ayn Rand Forums ad appears constantly, partly because I click it a lot to see what Those Wacky Objectivists are saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted October 21, 2008 Share Posted October 21, 2008 [quote name='Marwyn' post='1562574' date='Oct 21 2008, 06.44']I can see him becoming insane tbh. He might even start his own cult, that'd be cool. With My* as his right hand. Zomg, they're going to take over the world![/quote] Um, you won't have to wait much longer to see this happening. In fact, you won't have to wait at all, since it is already happening. Have you been to goodkind.net? Can there be any doubt about what they talk about in the locked, super secret, password only forum labeled "Temple of the Winds"? I once managed to sneak into that other locked forum of theirs (which had since been erased), "Jaded Intriguement". What I saw in there scared me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 [quote name='MinDonner' post='1562401' date='Oct 21 2008, 03.49']I was idly pondering Tairyland this morning (as one does), and the following thoughts amused me: 1) It must be really hard for Richard to be an Objectivist in a world that makes no objective sense and doesn't even follow its own rules. I mean, if he's supposed to use Cold Reason to determine his actions, and you have a magic system that constantly contradicts itself, human behaviour that makes no sense and even laws of physics that are optional, no wonder he's gone batshit insane. 2) So, his punishment for all those Eeeeeeeeeeebil testicle-chomping rapists was, um, to get their own planet, conveniently devoid of a god they didn't believe in anyway and a hell they would no longer be going to? Did Richard also send the rape victims and other ordinary IO people to this new planet? And wasn't it noble of Jennsen to go to Planet Gang-Rape so she wouldn't pollute Richardland with her anti-magic genes? Of course, it was all for Richard's benefit, so it had to be the right decision.[/quote] You really gotta stop drinking during breakfast, Min... :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argonath Diver Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 Ahhhhhhhh I just saw my first ad for THE LEGEND OF THE SEEKER !!!!! AHhhhhhhh! I missed the very beginning, just saw some quick scenes, and quickly told my roommate, in between cackles, about Goodkind's literary prowess and involving characters and terrific scenes of near-rape. Oh my gosh, it's like an April Fools joke that I keep hearing every day. I am just awestruck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuenjato Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 [quote name='Myshkin' post='1563282' date='Oct 21 2008, 17.55']Um, you won't have to wait much longer to see this happening. In fact, you won't have to wait at all, since it is already happening. Have you been to goodkind.net? Can there be any doubt about what they talk about in the locked, super secret, password only forum labeled "Temple of the Winds"? I once managed to sneak into that other locked forum of theirs (which had since been erased), "Jaded Intriguement". What I saw in there scared me.[/quote] I'm really curious. spill the beans, if you would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 [quote name='kuenjato' post='1563424' date='Oct 21 2008, 22.05']I'm really curious. spill the beans, if you would.[/quote] It was just a bit weird, where the elite members of the cult could talk without fear of the non-indoctrinated overhearing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exa Inova Posted October 22, 2008 Share Posted October 22, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1562421' date='Oct 21 2008, 12.05']Hey folks, long time. :kiss: As much as it pains me to contradict the Holy Mother of Goats I must point out that the IO were ultra-religious freaks with some nasty habits (gang-raping for the greater good etc). Since Ol' Dick cut them off from the afterlife he did spare them hell, assuming that's where they were going. The oft-mentioned creator in these books never makes an appearance, nor is any indication given (iirc) that such a being exists in the Tairyverse, so we don't know what other options the afterlife might have held for them. So, yes, Dick gave them exactly what they wanted, a world without magic where the IO has total power to do whatever they want without consequences. Works fine for those who are there since the boxes of Orden seemed to read the souls of everyone on the planet to see who should go to which world (or something like that, I think. It could have been just Dick and his friends). So everyone left with the IO are those who think the way the IO does. Sadly, future generations get royally screwed over in this arrangement.[/quote] As much as it pains me to correct the Keeper of the Codex, I, the self proclaimed Grand Inquisitor of Lemming Liturgy must correct him. The OI are indeed ultra religious freaks but the existence of a Creator is presumed via deduction. In the famous and for the story (and our amusement) essential Namble Cock sequence the Sisters of Darkness earn (and earn they did) demonic powers (abstractive magic) by……um……convincing the Namble to give it to them. Thus one can conclude that a Keeper exists and thus a Creator must exist also. In another scene (the Keeper of the Codex will know which one) a sister of darkness dies and bystanders see her body twisting and doing all sorts of electric boogie. It is commented that the Keeper is punishing the soul for not doing his bidding while under Jagangs spell. Another more direct prove of the existence of the Keeper and thus a Creator must weep somewhere. So by creating the planet Marx, Dick didn’t give the IO what they wanted. No he did something immensely worse. He cut them of from the Creator (more likely Keeper) for ever. Also never is it made clear that a world without magic is also a world without Creator or Keeper. Of course I also think that future generations are screwed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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