Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Thought experiment time: if you wanted to create an all-dysfunction NFL Team (current players only - either currently under contract, or available as a street free agent), who would you sign? JaMarcus "Sizzurp" Russell, Aaron Hernandez (you said street free agent, and he certainly appears to be street!) Pacman Jones, Seabass, and Suh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalbear Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 That sounds fun. QB: you might be tempted to go with Brandon Weeden, but I don't think that'd cause the dysfunction you really want; he's not likely to blow up, he's just going to suck. We'll start it out with someone who sucks some times but not others: Joe Flacco.RB: LeGarrette Blount has kept his nose clean, but there's always potential for a Falcon punch. WRs: Steve Smith? Oh yes, Steve Smith. Dez Bryant? Good times! And a Mike Wallace for extra awesome.TE: Gronk. With most of the douchebags in jail or out of the league now, it's Gronk.OLIne: Well, Incognito obviously. Levi Brown because he's so horrible it's funny. Breno Giacomini is pretty crazy too. Chris Williams maybe? CB: Sherman, obv. Revis would also be good here. So would Finnegan. S: Eric Reed. And Chris Conte, because nothing causes dysfunction like being the starter and being totally incompetent. LB: Harrison to start with (he's still in the league). Burfict is likely to kill someone at some point. DLIne: Jared Allen (it'd be fun at least). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 They've had a ton of points this year and were great offensively. They were not in the heat of the moment. They aren't really the laughing stock. Whats more amusing, the team that scored the most points in history getting blown out? Or the Browns? Harking back to the OP and thread title, I presume. But we do need to have a serious inquiry on why Jace is being so hard on Peyton Manning. Brainwashed by the media? I'd guess it's along these lines. Waking up from the dream that Pey-Pey is some sort of superhuman being that is not subject to the laws of man or nature. Too many times. I've just seen it too many times. Thing is, Manning's not even the top of my Broncos hate list. That belongs to Jon Fox and Jack Del Rio. I would rather see the Patriots win the superbowl next year than see Denver make the playoffs. Go Chiefs (eww, andy reid). I've even had a few days to cool down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhom Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Too many times. I've just seen it too many times. Thing is, Manning's not even the top of my Broncos hate list. That belongs to Jon Fox and Jack Del Rio.For getting rid of Tebow, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Too many times. I've just seen it too many times. Thing is, Manning's not even the top of my Broncos hate list. That belongs to Jon Fox and Jack Del Rio. I would rather see the Patriots win the superbowl next year than see Denver make the playoffs. Go Chiefs (eww, andy reid). I've even had a few days to cool down.Give in to your hate... join us on the Hoodie Side... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Give in to your hate... join us on the Hoodie Side... They have turnovers... http://s1336.photobucket.com/user/Lumpy67/media/BradyTurnovers_zpsee1b0d65.jpg.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 For getting rid of Tebow, huh? Listen, we've all laughed at stuff that we shouldn't laugh at. Give in to your hate... join us on the Hoodie Side... My lightsaber is red. But my heart is still Colts blue. :P I am amazed at how close the Patriots are to being approved TV in my house again, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 My lightsaber is red. But my heart is still Colts blue. :P I am amazed at how close the Patriots are to being approved TV in my house again, though. Oh, I didn't expect you to give up on your Colts, and why should you, when you've got Andrew Luck's ascension to look forward to? I'm just pleased (and somewhat amazed, like you) that you find the Patriots more palatable than the Broncos. Plus, any chance to quote Palpatine in reference to my team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted February 7, 2014 Author Share Posted February 7, 2014 Oh, I didn't expect you to give up on your Colts, and why should you, when you've got Andrew Luck's ascension to look forward to? I'm just pleased (and somewhat amazed, like you) that you find the Patriots more palatable than the Broncos. Plus, any chance to quote Palpatine in reference to my team. :) I think it's the evil emperor himself that's wooing me over. Belichick is just amazing. I'm also having weird pangs of appreciation for Josh McDaniels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 I'm also having weird pangs of appreciation for Josh McDaniels. Allright, now you've officially gone off your nut. He who drafted Tebow shall not be forgiven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mexal Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Allright, now you've officially gone off your nut. He who drafted Tebow shall not be forgiven. And traded Cutler and got rid of Marshall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 And traded Cutler and got rid of Marshall. "Wait... that's Bill Belichick's music!" McDaniels is one of the most effective double agents that Belichick has ever unleashed on the league. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 And traded Cutler and got rid of Marshall. Although in a backwards way he set the stage for the Broncos to get Peyton Manning which never would've happened had he kept Cutler. Also presided over drafting most of his weapons: Demaryius Thomas, Eric Decker, Julius Thomas and Knowshon Moreno. There was no question the McD reign was disastrous and yet somehow Denver fell into the penthouse. There's no good way to reconcile these facts but there it is. To DG's point, McDaniel's incompetence really seems to make him more of an unwitting triple agent. Despite his best efforts, he ended up building the team that would thrash the Patriots (and him) in the playoffs. In the words of Dodgeball: I know you. You know you. And I know that you know that I know you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 To DG's point, McDaniel's incompetence really seems to make him more of an unwitting triple agent. Despite his best efforts, he ended up building the team that would thrash the Patriots (and him) in the playoffs. In the words of Dodgeball: I know you. You know you. And I know that you know that I know you. "Even the very wise cannot see all ends." :crying: Though to be fair, we all knew these Pats were gonna get thrashed by someone in the playoffs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted February 7, 2014 Share Posted February 7, 2014 Though to be fair, we all knew these Pats were gonna get thrashed by someone in the playoffs. BAH GAWD, KING, SOMEBODY STOP THE GAME! THIS TEAM HAS HAD ENOUGH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jace, Extat Posted February 8, 2014 Author Share Posted February 8, 2014 Allright, now you've officially gone off your nut. He who drafted Tebow shall not be forgiven. And traded Cutler and got rid of Marshall. Purely as a playcaller, he's one of the best in the league. That Patriots offense was top-5 in the league... as Little Nicky once said "wrap your minds around this, gentlemen." Anyways, it occurs to me that Tavaris Jackson played in the superbowl. Russell Wilson did not get hurt, but Tavaris Jackson was playing in the superbowl... Tavaris Jackson was playing in the superbowl, while Wilson was healthy and celebrating on the sideline... Ta. Var. Is. Jack. Son. I'm disgusted at the Broncos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balefired-ed Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 BAH GAWD, KING, SOMEBODY STOP THE GAME! THIS TEAM HAS HAD ENOUGH! I really, reallllllllllllly wish the NFL would let good ole JR call just one prime time NFL game. That would be a fucking blast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 I really, reallllllllllllly wish the NFL would let good ole JR call just one prime time NFL game. That would be a fucking blast. Only if a linebacker bodyslams a running back through the Spanish announcers table at some point... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhole Eunuchsbane Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Sports Illustrated ranks NFL Announcer Teams for 2013-2014 http://nfl.si.com/2014/02/07/2013-nfl-announcer-rankings/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabronius Maximus Posted February 8, 2014 Share Posted February 8, 2014 Sports Illustrated ranks NFL Announcer Teams for 2013-2014 http://nfl.si.com/2014/02/07/2013-nfl-announcer-rankings/Decent list, but I thought Kevin Harlan should've been higher. I always like his play by play for both NBA and NFL. UP HIGH, AND DOWN HARD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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