GOODKIND VIII: It's Not Terrorism If We Do It!

[Watcher]

Mad Moose, lay off the books and drinking for awhile. I've read that passage three times and it still makes no sense at all. I realize what you are doing is really a horrific experience, but you are our only source into the world of Goodkind (BBHN). I also know you are doing your best. But please, when the passages are so incoherent that make absolutely no sense how can we mock them?

Richard was able to reconstruct an antidote from the taste of it? That's too funny! How does anyone think that makes a good story?

[Draco the Lizard]

Richard has magic tastebuds? He can taste it because of his moral clarity?

[ChaosTheory]

I've been reading these posts for a while and really wanted to add something funny or insane, but my timing is rubbish. Every time I go to add something TG (BBHN) via QotD completely outdoes me.

I have to say one thing in his defence though No, no hang on...it was only after being pointed in the direction of this thread that I thought I would read GRRM...and what a wonderful discovery that was. So you see TG (BBHN) does have a purpose He makes you realise how good other authors are.

As to the most recent quotes - The old stretching routine eh? Text book hero stuff, sure they must teach that in hero school.

As for what a scape or otherwise chicken-that-is-not-a-(scape)chicken tastes like - easy - tastes like chicken. It is a well known fact that everything meat-like that you have never tasted is described as tasting like chicken - QED.

I agree that TG (BBHN) and all his works must be an elaborate hoax...it's the only sane explanation...or am I being niaive?

[Moosicus]

Mad Moose, lay off the books and drinking for awhile. I've read that passage three times and it still makes no sense at all. I realize what you are doing is really a horrific experience, but you are our only source into the world of Goodkind (BBHN). I also know you are doing your best. But please, when the passages are so incoherent that make absolutely no sense how can we mock them?

Richard was able to reconstruct an antidote from the taste of it? That's too funny! How does anyone think that makes a good story?

I'm gonna lay off TG (BBNC) for the rest of the day and probably tomorrow, but don't ever, EVER, tell me to stop drinking. Getting hammered (and I'm half pinned right now I might add) is the only thing that makes the QotD possible in the first place.

[Merentha]

Descriptions of the Order troops are usually about how greasy they look, and how many nasty weapons they're carrying. There doesn't seem to be any real uniform or emblems (like a circle with an 'O' in it).

Wouldnt a circle with an O in it be a bullseye or target? They might as well be wearing one when they get in Richard's way.

[The Wolf Maid]

This is too painful, I can't reproduce enough of this for a QotD, so just a little bit for ya.

Richard: "You can't have these kind of variables tainting what's supposed to be a constant. It would be like a math equation in which any of the numbers could spontaneously change their value. Such a thing would render math invalid and unworkable. Algebraic symbols can vary - but even then they are specific relational variables. The numbers, though, are constants. Same with this structure; emblems have to be constructed of inert constants - you might say like simple addition or subtraction. An internal variable corrupts the constant of an emblematic form."

Gah! This one has math in it. I feel the pain...

I hate Math.

This is a joke, right? Am I the only one that finds it strange that Richard uses advanced terms involving math when he's supposed to be what, a ranger/woodsman before and he lives in a sort-of-medieval setting?

Where does he learn this stuff? from the sword?

[一方通行]

This is a joke, right? Am I the only one that finds it strange that Richard uses advanced terms involving math when he's supposed to be what, a ranger/woodsman before and he lives in a sort-of-medieval setting?

Where does he learn this stuff? from the sword?

DO NOT QUESTION THE SWORD!!!!

[The Wolf Maid]

DO NOT QUESTION THE SWORD!!!!

...

That was a very clear message...

have I offended your moral clarity, 'ME?

[diabloblanco18]

If the sword can make him eleventy-billion times better than any other swordsman in the world, it can certainly teach him algebra.

[Lightning Lord]

This is a joke, right? Am I the only one that finds it strange that Richard uses advanced terms involving math when he's supposed to be what, a ranger/woodsman before and he lives in a sort-of-medieval setting?

Where does he learn this stuff? from the sword?

Don't sound so skeptical. I tought myself calculus and advanced string theory when I came across an old paring knife that once belonged to Sir Isaac Newton. Amazing what the past imprints on objects...

Anyone else bothered by the magical-ness of musical instruments in TG's (BBHN) world? We have chimes, horns, bells...

Next up,

Kahlan: "No, they have summoned the Violas of Vengeance to negate the effects of our Moraccas or Moral Clarity!! Richard, quickly, use your 'thing' and innate brilliance to conjure something new!!"

Richard: "I cannot, Kahlan. Until the people can appreciate the evil of Violas, they are not worth saving. Oh, I could come up with something, perhaps Flaying Flutes of Frightening Fluidity, but why should I? Those are soldiers over there, and you know I only kick girls in the face and slaughter civilians. Our soldiers were falling under the spell of collectivism. This, then, is their fate. To be destroyed by the Violas of Vengeance. They have brought it upon themselves, thus I condemn them in the name of the Yeard."

Zedd: "Bags, you're absolutely right Richard!"

Kahlan: "Richard, your war-wizard outfit is so big, and your 'thing' is so powerful...I am going to go get kidnapped and almost raped."

(Kahlan leaves)

Richard: "Kahlan? Kahlan?!? KAHLAN?!?!?!? NOOOOOO!!!!! YOU MANIACS!!!! YOU BLEW HER UP!!! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!"

[Moosicus]

Wow, LL, I didn't know you had it in you. Good show. But I'm really fucking hammered right now, so...I dunno. everybody please carry on. but when I log on in the morning, I wanna see some real moral clarity from you bastards. Or else.

[Knight of the Wineskin]

When I aid a pregnant female customer in taking her groceries to her car and she does not tip, do I have the right to kick her in the uterus?

[Dornishman]

Wrong question. Its aready bleeding-heart commie treachery to have helped her in the first place, thus, it would be her patriotic duty to rip the embroy out of her uterous and beat you to death with it!

[VigoTheCarpathian]

It is a sort of strange thing that a Sword can teach you algebra, but the only philosophy class that it contains is Objectivism 101.

Here's a moral clarity word-problem for everyone:

1. Richard is the Seeker of Truth, because he's been given the Sword of Truth.

2. Mathemathics clearly falls into the realm of Truth, that's why he learned it.

3. Richard clearly no longer needs the SoT to know how to fight with its knowledge.

4. Richard can teach the Truth to those around him.

5. This leads us to believe that the Truth now resides in Richard, as he no longer needs the SoT for his moral clarity, and others do not have to touch the SoT to gain his insight.

Using logic, and the above information, could Richard Rahl rape an evil chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken, and turn it back into a regular chicken now imbued with moral clarity, simply by implanting his Seed of Truth in it? Show your work.

ETA: For extra credit, can the chicken now do algebra?

[Jaxom 1974]

Wow, LL, I didn't know you had it in you. Good show. But I'm really fucking hammered right now, so...I dunno. everybody please carry on. but when I log on in the morning, I wanna see some real moral clarity from you bastards. Or else.

So what does it mean if I just tell you to Fuck Off! I don't give a damn what you think.

Is that to moral? Or does it lack clarity.

I can never tell what TG wants anymore...Think I'll go play some bells...

[niamh]

Like Wolf Maid....

It's not even that Richard knows advanced mathematics, it's how come there is such a thing in that world, and yet they live in medieval squalor??

There is not a shred of continuity in those books, and suspension of disbelief finally takes a dive, until all we can do is laugh. The guy is so busy trying to justify himself and not being caught writing fantasy, that he forgets to write a plausible story altogether

It's like a bad soap actor claiming all the time "but I'm trained in Shakespeare!"

[The Wolf Maid]

Don't sound so skeptical. I tought myself calculus and advanced string theory when I came across an old paring knife that once belonged to Sir Isaac Newton. Amazing what the past imprints on objects...

Lucky you. I wish I would come across Einstein's sweater, and maybe if I wore it, I would know the meaning of the universe.

It is a sort of strange thing that a Sword can teach you algebra, but the only philosophy class that it contains is Objectivism 101.

Here's a moral clarity word-problem for everyone:

1. Richard is the Seeker of Truth, because he's been given the Sword of Truth.

2. Mathemathics clearly falls into the realm of Truth, that's why he learned it.

3. Richard clearly no longer needs the SoT to know how to fight with its knowledge.

4. Richard can teach the Truth to those around him.

5. This leads us to believe that the Truth now resides in Richard, as he no longer needs the SoT for his moral clarity, and others do not have to touch the SoT to gain his insight.

Using logic, and the above information, could Richard Rahl rape an evil chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken, and turn it back into a regular chicken now imbued with moral clarity, simply by implanting his Seed of Truth in it? Show your work.

ETA: For extra credit, can the chicken now do algebra?

That's an interesting question, Vigo. I would like to give it a try, but unfortunately, I barely passed my philosophy class, and I on't think I have enough moral clarity for this.

But I think with your conjunctions, it is certainly possible that Ricard's sexual intercourse with the chicken could turn it into a 'normal' chicken...that knows how to do algebra.

Like Wolf Maid....

It's not even that Richard knows advanced mathematics, it's how come there is such a thing in that world, and yet they live in medieval squalor??

well, even before medieval times, there were other cultures who have an understanding of advanced mathematics, though I doubt they used the modern terms that we do.

But in richard's world...people seem to be uneducated and somewhat primitive, and I don't think they're any scholars around, execpt if you count wizards, andI've yet to read a mention of schools. So where do they learn stuff? are they simply home tutored? or is the knowledge only for royals, the religious class and the wizards?

[niamh]

well, even before medieval times, there were other cultures who have an understanding of advanced mathematics, though I doubt they used the modern terms that we do.

If you refer to China and the arab world, I'd say they were more advanced than Richard's world

But you and I know, Richard's speech is an anachronism. Then of course TG will say " oh but mathematics are learned by wizards as a matter of course." Fine, but Richard didn't get instructed, did he. And whatever he learned in the Temple of the Winds, was unlearned due to Darken Rahl's evil (conveniently)

Really, no matter which way we look at it, it's a bad piece of writing. You can't but admit that TG in his haste to convert the world to his views, and on the basis that he's writing a Nobel prize class allegory, simply forgot he was supposed to write a believable yarn . He's at the point where his readers aren't his goal anymore, but his slaves to do as he wishes, good only to fork out money towards the Cult.

Like a practical application of the Wizard's First Rule.

[Knight of the Wineskin]

Using logic, and the above information, could Richard Rahl rape an evil chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken, and turn it back into a regular chicken now imbued with moral clarity, simply by implanting his Seed of Truth in it? Show your work.

ETA: For extra credit, can the chicken now do algebra?

If Richard rapes an evil chicken, he'll just end up with a broken chicken stuck on his wang as he goes into battle.

And since evil chickens are chimes and broken chimes cannot sound, a broken evil chicken is a mute chime. Huzzah for logic!

[Watcher]

Like Wolf Maid....

It's not even that Richard knows advanced mathematics, it's how come there is such a thing in that world, and yet they live in medieval squalor??

If you refer to China and the arab world, I'd say they were more advanced than Richard's world

Oh you hit a pet peeve of mine.

To construct buildings of any significance you have to know at least geometry which has been around for a very long time. The Greeks also had some number theories similar to algebra in 200 BC. Most likly Muhammad ibn Musa, the "father of algebra", worked with those thories when he formilized algebra in his book in the early 800's. Three hunderd years later that it was introduced to the Western world. Which is the middle of the European Middle Ages.

The Europeans used that knowledge to move from building Romanesque style structures to raising the great Gothic churches of the Middle Ages.

It is plausible that in Terryverse algebra is known. How a simple woodsmen from a small village on the edge of civilization knows it is a different question.