Sir Thursday Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Question for the guys on OKC: would you avoid answering a girl who messaged you, but didn't have a profile pic or any information on her profile? I messaged a guy yesterday, because we were like a 98% match on their quiz questions and he said in his profile that he was in the same field as I am. Apparently he's online, but I haven't gotten any message back. Do you reckon the completely empty profile (which I've done because I get enough spam messages as it is) is off-putting? Provided you're OK with always being the person who initiates the conversation (because it does not compute to me that people would spontaneously start sending sincere messages to an empty profile), I guess it could work sometimes. Because guys don't tend to get many girls starting conversations with them, there will be probably some people who are willing to give you the time of day. But as Ini says, there are plenty who will just flat-out ignore messages from empty profiles so you're probably restricting your options quite significantly by doing it that way. ST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I have filled my profile with so much stuff it's given people a lot to initiate conversations with or just scared off the 'hey babe' messages hahhaha. Have a asoiaf inspired username too NO SHAME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warlock of Qarth Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 If I'd get a message from someone who hasn't filled out her profile and didn't have a profile pic, I wouldn't respond, unless her message is of exceptional quality and even then it'd be iffy. One of the two I might overlook, based on the quality of the initial message, but both at the same time... Really, if you want to do internet dating, fill out your profile and upload a picture. Sure, you'll attract more creepers, but creepers are gonna creep anyway and not filling out your profile or uploading a pic will keep the good guys away as well. If you want to attract good guys, be sure to invest some time into your profile. Many women, especially in the twenty-something bracket, contend themselves with writing down a bunch platitudes ( blablabla....Love having fun ....blablabla....Living life to the fullest.... yackity smackity....Can you handle a real woman....ladidadidaa), usually topping off with with the Obligatory Machu Picchu Picture. Try to stand out, and you should have no problem picking up some decent guys. Or, even better, message them first. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 My profile launches straight into my love of john waters, divine and blade runner and douglas coupland novels and that gary numan is an underrated genius the right people will appreciate my pop culture knowledge from decades before i was even born yet. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smegma Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Pictures are absolutely key for anything on the internet - whether you are buying or selling a house, a car, a toaster, or yourself. Even if they aren't terribly particular about what someone looks like, it is so important to be able to say "ah yes, that's a real person and they aren't *insert this humongous dealbreaker like have a gaping, oozing hole in place of your nose*" or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Before I deleted POF the other day, my username was Valonqar91. I had pictures of my trip to New Orleans, mentioned what I got going on now with the residential electrician courses, portrayed an indifferent attitude towards religion and talked about a long term goal or two. That's what worked for me in the online dating scene, and it got me my fair share of messages, probably more than what the typical guy will get. If I ever join an online dating community again, I have no doubt it'll go just as well. The only women who weren't giving me the time of day were the ones creeped out by a name like Valonqar91.BUT WE DON'T NEED THAT KIND OF NEGATIVITY IN OUR LIVES. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Well, I took your advice and put up a couple of pictures and started to fill in the profile. I'm getting a bunch of messages already, which is good I guess (would've been depressing if pictures scared them off!). On the other hand, I've discovered that I hate filling in dating profiles. How do you talk this much about yourself and not come across as a complete wanker? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insomnium Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 As great as your message may be, you'll eventually run into the situation where someone doesn't want to put in the effort of conversation and then come to find out there is no physical attraction. I've only been on OKC for a couple of days, so I don't know if something like this exists, but it sounds like an option to keep profile hidden, until contact is initiated would be a great option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Lol, it's the internet. Your character is the only one you can confirm, so you have to be willing to put yourself over. You get to be more selective too. When you're dating around your hometown offline, it's harder to know what people will find out about you. The flow of information is much easier to control online. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theda Baratheon Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Ok. Already had plenty of 'Hi! How are you?' Or worse, simply just 'hii' I mean, really??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biter Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Well, I took your advice and put up a couple of pictures and started to fill in the profile. I'm getting a bunch of messages already, which is good I guess (would've been depressing if pictures scared them off!). On the other hand, I've discovered that I hate filling in dating profiles. How do you talk this much about yourself and not come across as a complete wanker? In my experience, talking about yourself on dating websites (or being open and honest about yourself in general) really gets easier as you gradually get used to it. I'm not that ashamed of being a bit of a pretentious wanker anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insomnium Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm pretty sure my profile can be treated as "inactive", until I put pictures up. I'm waiting for my cousin to develop some film where I'm looking particularly dapper from a Gatsby themed summer party from a couple of weeks ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 It also earns you bonus points to be seen partaking in one of your hobbies. In my case, for example, it's one thing to list enjoying pro wrestling and quite another to actually be in a picture with a Bret Hart or a Bob Backlund or a Mick Foley. It's one thing to list hiking as a hobby and quite another to be hiking in a picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Ok. Already had plenty of 'Hi! How are you?' Or worse, simply just 'hii'I mean, really??? I got one that was like a little poem: If eyes are the mirror of soul, you must be fantasticyours are really beautifulnice to meet you, I'm XX from Italywhat do you like to do? It's almost an ABAB slant rhyme! I'd be impressed if I didn't know it was totally unintentional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Thursday Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Well, I took your advice and put up a couple of pictures and started to fill in the profile. I'm getting a bunch of messages already, which is good I guess (would've been depressing if pictures scared them off!). On the other hand, I've discovered that I hate filling in dating profiles. How do you talk this much about yourself and not come across as a complete wanker? How many people's profiles do you read and come away thinking "that person is a complete wanker"? There are some, but in my experience not that many - it's much more likely that you'll feel like you don't get a proper insight into what they are like because they haven't put anything useful on their profile. Just make a mental note of the things that caused you to put people in the first category and don't do that, and you'll be fine :). Maybe get a friend to look over your profile if you are comfortable doing that, just to be sure. ST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insomnium Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 What if you listed dancing, but didn't mention that it resembles Charlie Brown dancing? Maybe I can capture a still shot where it looks particularly amazing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Pictures are good. Action pictures with a nice one is even better. I just had fun with it. I had a shot with me at Niagara Falls pretending to have my arm around someone's shoulders. I captioned the picture on my dating profile, "Place self here." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Damn you, I just broke out into a Peanuts dance. :P but even with that, you portray a sense of humor. Win-win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Lol Guy, I've done that kind of thing in a much more shameful context. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insomnium Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Soon every profile will be bereft of coolness without it. :) Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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