all swedes are racist Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Only fart in public if you know you can do it quietly.Hah, as if. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salafi Stannis Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Hah, as if. You can always tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Which one of you ass clowns sent this one in? (I'm looking at you WS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Someone needs to test these things. wonder if you soaked your pants in poopourri if that'd work Perhaps this thread was not the best for you jump in to with that user name. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukey Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Only fart in public if you know you can do it quietly. You can never tell when one is going to be a sounder. The same thing when fecal matter might escape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salafi Stannis Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 You can never tell when one is going to be a sounder. The same thing when fecal matter might escape.I can. Also, fecal matter, really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukey Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I can. Also, fecal matter, really? If you can do that then you have superhuman capabilities. Also, everyone sharts a couple of times in their life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salafi Stannis Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 If you can do that then you have superhuman capabilities. Also, everyone sharts a couple of times in their life.I've sharted once, when I was like, six. Also, superhuman? Where's my fucking talk show then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 4. I was on a dinner and movie date. We ate at this really good Italian restaraunt but I had waaaaaaaaaaaay too much to eat. We were driving to the movie and I felt my stomach bubbling. I knew I couldn't hold it so I decided to be honest. "I'm so sorry" I said and let out a barely audible one that smelled like hot garbage. She said she had to get up early the next day so she didn't think she should go to the movie. I think she was offended by my accident. This one actually is funny. She probably tells it to her friends all the time. I'm starting to think you should see a doctor though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mish Windage Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Some have turned it into an artform:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane So being able to have full control is within the realm of reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I tried to find this word yesterday and google safe-search reported me to the proper authorities. If I get fired over that one, y'all are in big trouble. False. Anyone have pointers on how to avoid this on planes? The pressure differential can be hell in the main cabin. They actually sell charcoal pads for people with flatulence issues. It does nothing for the sound, but it does help with odor. Damn the trivial things that nursing requires me to know :tantrum: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeping Sore Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Which one of you ass clowns sent this one in? (I'm looking at you WS) Not me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Not me! :rofl: Fart Touch! Not IT! Edit: I fast for 24 before flying to avoid contributing to the communal cloud, but I will pass them out to fellow passengers. Thanks Bex! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocksniffer Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I would only point out that people who are eating high protein diets blow deadly ones. Protein farts. Look it up. interesting what comes up in conversation My grandmother's dog farted silent but deadly missiles every Sunday. My grandmother seemed immune to their smell after so long so it was either sit wit streaming eyes or vacate the room.I will add that my grandmother fed her dog the leftover veggies and Yorkshire puddings in a Sunday, which may account for the smell. Yes :lol: we have this same problem on easter ...nothing worse than boiled egg farts processed through dog guts... I was taught bacteria can leave with a fart so it's considered assault and can hurt someone. Similar to how you need to close the toilet lid before you flush, 'cause fecal matter Will leave the toilet and settle on everything... doorknobs... toothbrushes... I've Heard that wearing a g-string will eliminate the sound. Not sold on that idea, maybe works for some. Wonder if they make like one of those air fresheners that you plug in... like a Glade B-Plug? A niche fetish item to eliminate the odor... hmmm.... was going to comment on my new paranoia about my toothbrush being covered in fecal matter....then was distracted by g-string fart silencers...only to be finally confounded by a glade butt-plug freshener...cheers Mish Windage you win.... I heard that wearing a g-string increases your chances of farting out the opening chord to A Hard Day's Night. :lmao: Which one of you ass clowns sent this one in? (I'm looking at you WS) no matter the author the content was classic...sheds a whole new light on the importance of reading the directions for proper butt plug instillation... If you can do that then you have superhuman capabilities. Also, everyone sharts a couple of times in their life. particularly as you age and all muscle groups lose their tension abilities... Some have turned it into an artform:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane So being able to have full control is within the realm of reason. end of thread as there is no way to beat this bit of flatulent trivia... ...it made me laugh so hard i had to go wipe...another shart ah well what better place than this.... ... :smoking: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullendores monkey Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I was holding in a fart while a girl was uh servicing me . When I came it was just such a release that I let the fart out too. The chick actually didn't mind , in fact she swallowed, sniffed and went "mmmm". I never spoke to her again, but I probably should have . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullendores monkey Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 That's a Dutch oven and a staple of any sane relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q the Cat Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 All these problems with passing gas could easily be solved with this product: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mb4OffU8OwE I must say, the g-string kazoo made me pass coffee through my nose .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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