Arkhangel Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Seriously, it is a normal reaction that your body does. Why shouldn't I release if I have to let one out? Holding one in gives me cramps. One time, I was at a wal-mart getting my medicine refilled. Their was a very short woman behind me. I am 6'8 tall so that made her right about eye level with the canon barrel. She kept nudging me in the back with her elbow. She wouldent stop, like it was gonna make the line go faster. I had stood there for a while holding it in. I knew it would be particularly bad because I had eaten Chinese. She kept on elbowing me. I thought what the hell, Im not from here, no one knows me so I let her have it right in the face. Im serious with me being tall and her being only about 4'10 it worked out perfect. Im tellin you it parted her hair. It was a sounder to. Everyone one within 100 feet heard it. She took off gagging and coughing. You know what, she didnt elbow me in the back anymore either. The thing is I had like four people (including the pharmacy techinicain) tell me off about how I shouldn't pass gas in public. So, what do you guys think. Is public flatulence a no-no? What about in other parts of the world (not the USA)? So, in summary, four people told you you behaved like an asshole, no pun intended, and you thought "the internet will give me validation!" If you ever find yourself thinking 'what the hell, I'm not from here, no one knows me' as an excuse to be a dick to someone, it's probably a pretty good sign that you are, in fact, being a dick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glaurung Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 OP, Yes farting in public is rude. Yes it is natural...that doesn't make it ok. If you can't hold it, try to sneak into a secluded area. It may be unfortunate if somebody wanders into your little area, but at least when you do this you are attempting to be polite. As for the little lady who was elbowing you....if she was the only one there then I wouldn't feel so bad, but your fart hit innocent bystanders, and that's not cool. We all have accidents from time to time though.... I remember farting in the middle of taking my ACT exams and all of the testers in my immediate area turned to look at me. It was so embarrassing. I would only point out that people who are eating high protein diets blow deadly ones. Protein farts. Look it up. Yeah they are gross. When I go to the gym, I try to avoid the bathroom stalls because there is always at least one dude taking a dump after drinking his 4th protein shake of the day. It is a unique & horrible smell. I live in Kansas City, home to some amazing BBQ. This will also give you some ridiculous gas. My wife is dropping bombs right now because she's pregnant and borderline anemic... They gave her supplements but they constipate her, so she's been forced onto a diet heavy in red meat. And I can't even get upset with her because....pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathYon Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I don't care what people say, this was funny.A bit of a dick move yes, but still funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Yes, it really is a bad thing. I'm not surprised that you're having to ask a bunch of internet strangers this question. If you stop passing gas in public, you will have more real life friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 If you stop passing gas in public, you will have more real life friends. that, or one might join a local eproctophilia group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mish Windage Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I was taught bacteria can leave with a fart so it's considered assault and can hurt someone. Similar to how you need to close the toilet lid before you flush, 'cause fecal matter Will leave the toilet and settle on everything... doorknobs... toothbrushes... I've Heard that wearing a g-string will eliminate the sound. Not sold on that idea, maybe works for some. Wonder if they make like one of those air fresheners that you plug in... like a Glade B-Plug? A niche fetish item to eliminate the odor... hmmm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
litechick Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I've Heard that wearing a g-string will eliminate the sound. Not sold on that idea, maybe works for some. That sounds really odd. Seems like it would have more of a kazoo effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Farts are hilarious, as are burps. My partner and I regularly fart at each other, and Dutch Ovens are a nightly occurence.You all have no sense of humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baxus Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I really hate when I have gas during a workout.Still, I don't let it rip out of consideration for my teammates and wouldn't let it rip if there's any way I can help it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Dracarya,I have a great sense of humor. I just don't think farting or subjecting people to my farts is terribly funny. It's what made my younger brothers cackle with laughter before they turned 8.;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukey Posted February 4, 2015 Author Share Posted February 4, 2015 Ok, I might be kind of a jerk, but I think if you knew my past you would know why I have such an odd reelationship with flatulence. 1. When I was a little kid we took a family vacation to Kentucky (lol). While we were there, we decided to do a tour of some of the caves there. I remember my dad farting in the cave, and it echoed. Some kid with his family on the tour made some comment about even the smell echoing. 2. When I was in elementary school, my teacher was handing out tests and my stomach really hurt like I ate nails or something. Eventually I felt the urge to defecate really bad but I held it in, then came like the longest minute ever in my life when I suddenly felt something creeping on my poserior. could smell the foul odor creeping through my trousers and as my teacher asked a question I lost the fight and had to let it out, I passed gas, cried, and had an accident a little all at the same time. 3. One day during football practice we were doing bench press. I was spotting one of the linemen (heavy weight) and he needed help on his last rep. I was straining with the heavy weight and felt my stomcah rumbling from lunch. I let out a fairly loud and foul smelling one almost on his face. He got up through me against the wall, carried me outside, poured the water bucket over my head, and called me an idiot. 4. I was on a dinner and movie date. We ate at this really good Italian restaraunt but I had waaaaaaaaaaaay too much to eat. We were driving to the movie and I felt my stomach bubbling. I knew I couldn't hold it so I decided to be honest. "I'm so sorry" I said and let out a barely audible one that smelled like hot garbage. She said she had to get up early the next day so she didn't think she should go to the movie. I think she was offended by my accident. 5. I was at the a coffee shop when I felt like I had to go urinate. So I got up and headed downstairs to the main floor where the bathrooms are located. The stairs are in the shape of an L the longer part connecting to the top floor where I was sitting. There was a table on the first floor next to the corner of the stairs of a couple. As I was walking down the stairs, I felt gas building up (must have been the coffee) and as I was turning the corner of the stairs and my backside is now in the direction of the couple. I accidentally let one rip. And dear god did it rip! It was extremely loud. The guy got up, threw me agaisnt the wall, and made me apologize to his girl. I was looking around for help (it was an accident for pete's sake) and this guy told me to leave immediately after I had apologized to that guys girlfriend. What's funny is that I felt like a genius helping out that couple to a memorial date when a stranger passed gas on them. So, there you have it. I might have a health problem. My view is that I should at least get some joy out of it. I haven't even told you guys the really funny defecation stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Pepper Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Yes, it really is a bad thing. I'm not surprised that you're having to ask a bunch of internet strangers this question. If you stop passing gas in public, you will have more real life friends. We'd all be friendless if the criteria for friendship was an ability to hold in farts while outside our homes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 au contrare! not everyone need be friendless because of flatal incontinence. mr. zizek informs us, for instance, that stalinists "are 'men of iron will,' somehow excluded from the everyday cycle of ordinary human passions and weakness. It is as if they are 'the living dead', still alive but already excluded from the ordinary cycle of natural forces - as if, that is, they possess another body, the sublime body beyond the ordinary physical body" (sublime object of ideology at 162-63). mr. pynchon affirms this presentation insofar as some endure "progressive abstinence, in which you began by giving up acid and pot, then tobacco, alcohol, sweets - you kept cutting down on sleep, doing with less, you broke up with lovers, avoided sex, after a while even gave up masturbating - as the enemy's attention grew more concetrated, you gave up your privacy, freedom of movement, access to money, with the looming promise always of jail and the final forms of abstinence from any life at all free of pain" (vineland at 230). one can only assume that they include the subject of the current thread within the ambit of their comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Valley Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 If you stop passing gas in public, you will have more real life friends. that, or one might join a local eproctophilia group. I tried to find this word yesterday and google safe-search reported me to the proper authorities. If I get fired over that one, y'all are in big trouble. I've Heard that wearing a g-string will eliminate the sound. Not sold on that idea, maybe works for some. Wonder if they make like one of those air fresheners that you plug in... like a Glade B-Plug? A niche fetish item to eliminate the odor... hmmm.... False. Anyone have pointers on how to avoid this on planes? The pressure differential can be hell in the main cabin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baxus Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I haven't even told you guys the really funny defecation stories. Please, keep it that way. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Walker Texas Ranger Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I once had to share a bathroom with a housemate who had half his large intestine removed due to colitis. Y'all need stronger stomachs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 I've Heard that wearing a g-string will eliminate the sound.I heard that wearing a g-string increases your chances of farting out the opening chord to A Hard Day's Night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mish Windage Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Someone needs to test these things. wonder if you soaked your pants in poopourri if that'd work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB. Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Someone needs to test these things. wonder if you soaked your pants in poopourri if that'd workOr to invent laser treatments, a tushy laser, to make all that jazz pleasant. Pink and sparkly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salafi Stannis Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Only fart in public if you know you can do it quietly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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