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How Do I Say Mean Things Nicely?


Sivin

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But if you want to keep their friendship or increase your EQ, you have to come up with some little white lie that closes the loop for any further discussion and of course use something that is not being able to be exposed in which case it will all backfire and your roommate may turn psycho and murder you or something.

I think in some cases, lies are indeed necessary. But I think people might tend to over-estimate the situations that actually call for it. For instance, in this case, just stating that working out alone is more effective for me is not a lie and it is also not a hurtful thing to say, provided that the other person can be an adult about it.

Also, sometimes, we need to train our friends, too, to deal with honest, but respectful and civil, ways of reconciling differences and conflicts. In many circles of friends there'll be one or two who is seen as "the straight shooter" and yet they manage to keep the friendships. So it definitely can be done.

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Have you considered learning a foreign language? Preferably an obscure foreign language. Like Dothraki. Then you can say all kinds of things and, since no one will understand you, no one will be offended.

:lol:

Maybe another language though. Dothraki sounds so...harsh, and aggressive :lol:

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Well I am about to go into a meeting with human resources and a couple union folks upon allegations that I am a foulmouthed aggressive tyrant.

This should be fun.

Oh to be a fly on the wall! :ninja: good luck!

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Oh to be a fly on the wall! :ninja: good luck!

it was actually quite interesting.

the union folks are very good at trying to incite you. i just let it all run over me. it was suggested that almost everyone in my kitchen is scared of me. that is something i know is a lie. i have good relationships with those who either do a good job or are teachable.

this one employee is simply not teachable. the performance of this employee is well documented as being bad. i applaud that they are trying to deflect it by just suggesting i am a dick.

so since that meeting i am all puppies and cotton candy as i put food back into the window, throw things away and tell this employee that the work they are producing is miles below the standards of the kitchen.

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Documentation is your friend. Also, witnesses.

Best of luck.

i have seven records of conversation or actual disciplinary action in this employees file in 8 months of employment. i am not worried.

certainly they will be able to drum up a few people in the restaurant who don't like my style of management or my high standards, but i am not worried at all.

this employee has not been in the building long enough for the union to really take too much interest in whether or not they stay employed. the file is just too powerful. they union is just doing their due diligence and making it seem like they care about the employee. i have seen this song and dance before.

as soon as this employee is terminated there will be a lot of venom and ire. as soon as the employee is out of the room they will ask for not fighting unemployment, paying out of sick time and offering a good reference for the departed. if the person had some serious tenure the fight would be real, however. that i have seen and is pretty crazy.

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Answer: Silence meatbag!, I have no interest in adding more water content to my already sloshing water filled muscles with you, I find the activity tiresome enough without having to listen to tales of your asinine existence.

Query: Where are the credits you owe me?, If I do not receive them within 7 Days I will use my blaster on you and you will leak plasma and chunks of organic meatbag matter all over this clean domicile that we unfortunately share.

The Dwight Shrute technique
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