Ken Stone Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Not me, not too me, but I need help. I organize a yearly software conference and for the first time in 5 years I received a message from a company about an employee getting sexually harassed at the conference. Luckily it wasn't a speaker, organizer, or any other employee of the conference. It was 42 year old married with children attendee on 21 year old attendee harassment. While I don't want to get into the specifics of what happened I will say it was more of the creepy stalking type of harassment then assault type of harassment. All that being said, what are we supposed to do? We did a little investigation and the perp was sent to the conference by his employer. At this point my inclination is to pass on all the information to his employer and to follow up later to make sure that they dealt with it. I think it is the right thing to do but am not sure if that is what is required under law. Anyone here familiar enough with sexual harassment law to give some guidance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frog Eater Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 If you contact his employer, and he gets fired, will he be able to come back against you?what proof do you have that he was really harassing this person and this isn't a case of a person being over sensitive to someone standing too close or trying to make an awkward conversation or something like that? Or was he following her away from the conference? If he was following her away from the conference then I might say something. I would be hesitant to ruin the guy's life unless I was certain that what happened was really harassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Yeah, more details are needed. ETA: Did they work at the same company? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Stone Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 They do not work at the same company. Essentially he sat next to her in a session and started making conversation. As the day wore on the conversation got more creepy in nature. He started insisting he was going to take her out to drinks. Get her drunk. "Corrupt her". Said things like "Surely getting drunk with a married guy twice your age is on your bucket list". Wouldn't leave her alone. Friended her on Facebook and sent her messages after the conference was over. I'm really not interested in getting into the "Was it harassment or not" aspect of it. She felt harassed so it was harassment. Just wondering what we should do and what our legal obligations may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-47 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Query: Why are meatbags so preoccupied by mating all the time?, it really is tiresome to hear about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
all swedes are racist Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 One thing is say is to make sure your anti-harassment policy is very clear, and put right in front of the noses of all attendees, speakers, etc. (if you haven't already)I can't really tell you what to do about this particular case (though I'd suggest preventing the offender from attending again), but you certainly want to do whatever possible to prevent this from happening again, at the very least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tears of Lys Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Was the woman's company requesting any action on your part by way of the letter? or were they just letting you know? If the latter, (or, for that matter, the former,) I would probably consult an attorney who specializes in sexual harassment law. You need to know what your rights and responsibilities are no matter what the outcome of this particular incident is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LogicalLeopard Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Contact a lawyer immediately. That is the best option to protect yourself. You could also call your local Equal Employment Opportunity Commission branch and ask for advice. Our local branch does training (and they were hilarious, btw) and you could find the number probably and other useful info on eeoc dot gov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Does your event have a code of conduct available to attendees? Has he breached it? If so, you should be able to chuck him out and maybe bar him without him being able to complain. Beyond that, I'd guess you are looking at the law on stalking in your area. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Seswatha Jordan Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I'm really not interested in getting into the "Was it harassment or not" aspect of it. She felt harassed so it was harassment. Just wondering what we should do and what our legal obligations may be.We go through harassment/sexual harassment training yearly at my job. First off, sounds like harassment, and if she wants to push it, she will be sided with more than likely. Only way I don't see that happening is if she never said something along the lines of, "Your making me uncomfortable, would you please stop?", and following that up by reporting it right away. That's the only part that's fuzzy here, why did she allow it to go on the whole day? Usually when your made to feel uncomfortable like that, you say something or simply get up and move away. Maybe there is another side to the story?And I'm not saying this to have an argument arise. Just, slapping sexual harassment on someone is VERY serious. So you have to make sure it wasn't playful banter that went a little too far and, who knows there are a million reasons one would accuse this of someon. Both sides need to be heard and stories need to be confirmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baxus Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Essentially he sat next to her in a session and started making conversation. As the day wore on the conversation got more creepy in nature. He started insisting he was going to take her out to drinks. Get her drunk. "Corrupt her". Said things like "Surely getting drunk with a married guy twice your age is on your bucket list". Wouldn't leave her alone. Friended her on Facebook and sent her messages after the conference was over. Sure, because there is no girl who doesn't fantasize about older, married men. I mean, they are THE most desirable category of men. Seriously now, the bolded part is extremely creepy. There is not a single way I can think of he could've meant it that could not be considered harassment. The guy's an asshole and should be held accountable for his actions. The only question is whether or not the girl/woman in question wants to get to the bottom of that, or just leave it behind and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Seswatha Jordan Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 OK, what if she did like all of this banter and never mentioned any of this to anyone while it was occurring? And she said for him to get in touch with her through Facebook. But, boyfriend/fiance/husband sees the FB message and then this is her story to him. He wants her to get the guy for sexual harassment, and here we are.I'm not saying this is true, more than likely she was harassed. But, for the sake of everyone, a real investigation needs to be done, both sides need to be heard. That's all I'm saying.All likelihood she was harassed and tell g the truth, but, again there could be a number of different ways someone would do this to another. My example isn't even viscous. That's why they say to report harassment the instant it occurs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Well you can invent reasoning to defend the guy, or you could go with the most obvious explanation which is that people frequently feel trapped by harassment of this sort and do sit there, and people frequently do harass women like this. It doesn't look complicated, Ken Stone has more information and seems in no doubt that it was harassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Seswatha Jordan Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I'm not saying she wasn't. I'm just saying that without both sides of the story, you could be slapping a serious charge on someone where it might not be warranted. It's why you report harassment when it happens.Why, when I give my opinion on something, am I justifying, defending or whatever you want to call it. I'm just saying that you have to question things. Just because someone says they was harassed doesn't mean they were. If Ken Stone has both sides of the story (which he never said he did), and he concludes it harassment, then it more than likely is. If he has only the testimony of the woman, than he hasn't heard the other side, and any number of things could've truly happened. Look Karradin, I understand that people get bullied and backed into a corner and feel as if they have no option until it's over with. But, people also make choices they'd like to take back, get caught up in them, and say anything they wanna say to get out of them. It's only fair to have both sides of the story. And he hasn't even contacted the guys company,so how would he have the other side of the story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I'm sick of the way that every time a man does something, people search for ways to show that it really wasn't bad, or there were some sort of mitigating factors, or maybe we could really blame it on a woman somehow. The story sounds awfully straightforward, yet the theory is put forward that maybe she really liked it but backed out of it because her boyfriend got mad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anythingatall Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 OK, what if she did like all of this banter and never mentioned any of this to anyone while it was occurring? It's easy to think you are making excuses it when you use the word "banter" which recently became the go-to word when trying to mitigate arseholery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Seswatha Jordan Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 It's easy to think you are making excuses it when you use the word "banter" which recently became the go-to word when trying to mitigate arseholery. No, you guys are picking what parts of my posts that are convenient for your argument, and ignoring the rest. I'll leave it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anythingatall Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 No, you guys are picking what parts of my posts that are convenient for your argument, and ignoring the rest. I'll leave it at that. I was just commenting on your use of the word banter as that was the part that I found interesting. I agree with the spirit of your post but when you start by describing his statements as 'banter' (which is a descriptor that ascribes motive and tone to his words) I am inclined to believe you have already made up your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 No, you guys are picking what parts of my posts that are convenient for your argument, and ignoring the rest. I'll leave it at that. [mod] You've made your point, and if you derail this conversation further into victim blaming, you will not be posting here for awhile. Ken asked for specific advice, and he also stated that he did not want this thread to devolve into a discussion of "was this harassment?" So please honor that request. [/mod] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Ken -- unfortunately, I think you will need to officially contact a lawyer just to make sure your company isn't exposed to any liability on how you handle this situation. How I've seen this go down in other industries: The meeting organizer has the right to ban anyone from attending. So do that. Don't let this creep attend any future conferences that you are organizing (if you do, you are potentially opening yourself and your company up to a huge lawsuit). Frequently, the organizers have contacted the harasser's employer and told them of the issue. Most of the time, the worst that happens is that the employee is put on "house arrest," because nobody wants a liability representing the company in public. Keep the complainant's company informed of progress (always vet the language through your lawyer) but don't promise anything more than what you can deliver. Thank you for taking this situation seriously. And best of luck as you go forward. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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