Your Random ASOIAF/TWOIAF/D&E Opinions, Confessions and Dirty Secrets, (making the) 8. [The Seven was cursed]

[Shuvuuia]

I've only just now got it! why Rohanne is a Webber - because she is Red Widow and a spider black widow and general spider reputation for females to be stronger and killing males. (guess alternative for her would be House Mantis)

[JonCon's Red Beard]

I've only just now got it! why Rohanne is a Webber - because she is Red Widow and a spider black widow and general spider reputation for females to be stronger and killing males. (guess alternative for her would be House Mantis)

"We eat them. We eat them good"

[Good Guy Garlan]

That Scream Queens arrest scene was everything <3

I forgot that Bran had a vague idea of what sex was (he pictured Manderly doing it with Lady Hornwood, LMAO), but maybe Jaime could've said the spider crawled into Cersei's vagina and Jaime was just trying to crush it with the tip of his dick. 

I mean, this is a kid who believes in like forest fairies and giants, he would've eaten the lie about Cersei's vagina spider like pie. 

[Shuvuuia]

That Scream Queens arrest scene was everything <3

I forgot that Bran had a vague idea of what sex was (he pictured Manderly doing it with Lady Hornwood, LMAO), but maybe Jaime could've said the spider crawled into Cersei's vagina and Jaime was just trying to crush it with the tip of his dick. 

I mean, this is a kid who believes in like forest fairies and giants, he would've eaten the lie about Cersei's vagina spider like pie. 

I picture squire Bran, in your scenario, getting drunk on his first cup of wine and telling the thing in front of Robert, Tywin and Tyrion and the rest of the court in KL.

[JonCon's Red Beard]

That Scream Queens arrest scene was everything <3

I forgot that Bran had a vague idea of what sex was (he pictured Manderly doing it with Lady Hornwood, LMAO), but maybe Jaime could've said the spider crawled into Cersei's vagina and Jaime was just trying to crush it with the tip of his dick.

"No boy, it's not the Kingslayer, is the KINKslayer! I slay bugs with kink!".

[Beautiful Balon]

Random thought re: Jaime and Bran. I get that Jaime shoved Bran out the window because he's impulsive like that, etc, but how much easier would it have been if Jaime had made up something on the spot, like, "There was a spider in the queen's dress so she had to take it off, and then the spider jumped on my clothes too, and I also had to take them off, and then I slipped and fell on top of the queen. But you must promise you won't tell anyone because it would be soooo embarrassing for the queen, and she would get veeeery sad. Hey, I just thought of a deal I can make with you, Bran - is it Bran? I heard you wanna be a Kingsguard more than anything, and as you know, I just happen to be one. Why don't you squire for me? That's how I started, squiring for Arthur Dayne. So you go ask your lord father for permission, and I'll talk to the king about it, eh? But remember! You have to swear an oath right here, right now, that you won't mention what you saw here to a single soul, not your mother, not your father, no one. And you must not break that oath, Bran, do you understand? Kingsguard are required to keep oaths, and if you break one you cannot be a Kingsguard, yes? Very well, run along now, and tell no one about that wretched spider!"

Yeah but what happens when he grows up, if he joins the kingsguard then he's got two conflicting oaths, one to the king and one to Jaime, so that doesn't work. Or Bran could grow up and decide to blackmail them for stuff, or he could become a drunk and start talking under the influence of alcohol. Simpler to kill him

[HexMachina]

The promise of being a knight could have worked, but not the Spider Book 1 and 2 make painfully obvious that Bran knows very well what sex is and how it looks. It's like Martin is trying to tell us that they couldn't have fooled Bran.

his thoughts about Lady Hornwood having to sleep beneath Lord Manderly always make me chuckle <iframe src="//giphy.com/embed/SeqHLHUfP9wVG" width="480" height="270" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/the-inbetweeners-pxtaindejoke-emily-atack-SeqHLHUfP9wVG">via GIPHY</a></p> 

[JonCon's Red Beard]

his thoughts about Lady Hornwood having to sleep beneath Lord Manderly always make me chuckle <iframe src="//giphy.com/embed/SeqHLHUfP9wVG" width="480" height="270" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://giphy.com/gifs/the-inbetweeners-pxtaindejoke-emily-atack-SeqHLHUfP9wVG">via GIPHY</a></p> 

That's that, then when Osha asks him if she knows about sex and then he sees also a couple sexing against a wall.

WE GET IT MARTIN, HE KNOWS. HE FUCKING KNOWS!!

[Taenqyrhae]

That's that, then when Osha asks him if she knows about sex and then he sees also a couple sexing against a wall.

WE GET IT MARTIN, HE KNOWS. HE FUCKING KNOWS!!

That scene was very important to set up the fact that Hodor is interested in sex and that Bran knows this and is in the habit of telling him to leave coupling couples alone.  When Bran later tries to rape Meera while skinchanging Hodor, he will probably say something about how Hodor was always bothering people in Winterfell but he never thought he would actually hurt anyone.

[JonCon's Red Beard]

That scene was very important to set up the fact that Hodor is interested in sex and that Bran knows this and is in the habit of telling him to leave coupling couples alone.  When Bran later tries to rape Meera while skinchanging Hodor, he will probably say something about how Hodor was always bothering people in Winterfell but he never thought he would actually hurt anyone.

When this happened??

[Aniel]

I just realized that the Tarlys will probably be less suspicious of Gilly's baby in the show than of Mance's baby Aemon in the books... 'cause you know, Gilly is Craster's daughter and so little Sam will definitely look like her since she probably gets some of her looks from Craster (getting rid of the whole "why doesn't he look like Sam?" bit, since they can see the mother) while Aemon probably won't resemble either Gilly or Sam.

Also I need to read the books again, I've completely forgot all about Bran recognizing sex. But I'm going away for a month and I won't be able to bring all the books with me 

[Taenqyrhae]

When this happened??

It hasn't happened yet, but it's been pretty heavily foreshadowed.

[The Fattest Leech]

I refer you to my second bullet point...

 

Good to hear from you again, by the way. What happened to your old avatar?

Hey there Maester,

I was feeling thin and flexible and dangerous so I opted for a change... But I just finished dinner and I made homemade Mac n' cheese so I think I'm ready to switch back to momma June 

I will Nevah! give up on ice dragons.  As a matter of fact, while listening to ADWD yesterday I came across the description Bran had in the back of the cave describing giant "bat" bones. And compared to Dany describing Viserion hanging like a giant bat and the World book has no mention of giant bats I have gone all googley-eyed about them again. 

[The Fattest Leech]

If Ryan Murphy had filmed Game of Thrones: Cersei gets arrested:

Chanel as Cersei,

Chanel #3 as Margaery

Denise as the HS

The Strippers as the Kettleblacks

Hester as Littlefinger.

Zayday and Grace as the Merrywheaters.

 

Oh my GAWD! They used the Hot Cops and the song Toy Soliders! That was enough to win me over right there. 

[The Fattest Leech]

Ok, my editor is going shitballs on me. What I wanted to ask in my last post is if there is a source for all the song lyrics in ASOIF? 

[TimJames]

When this happened??

When Ol' George has a nervous breakdown, resulting from everyone badgering him about finishing the series.

[Shuvuuia]

Am I a bad person for reading a thread on a theory that I don't believe in, only because I like how people argue against it?

 

----

Also I find it funny how the Stormland's Marcher lords are supposed to be infamous and fearsome, but except for Dondarrions (who are probably overcompensating for low origins) they have such fear-inducing sigils as swans or a flock of nightingales or a bundle of hay. Yes, I know swans are scary dinosaurs, but they aren't depicted as scary. While Dornishmen have a biting snake and a vulture carrying away a baby. Actually, I side-eye GRRM for unfortunate undertones here, but it still amusing

 

[Beautiful Balon]

My moral standards for all the characters have gotten incredibly low as the series has gone on. At this point I have been reduced to rooting for Victarion because at least he's showing moral growth.

 

[Lord Wraith]

My moral standards for all the characters have gotten incredibly low as the series has gone on. At this point I have been reduced to rooting for Victarion because at least he's showing moral growth.

 

Really and how do you figure anything he has done can be considered moral growth?

[LongRider]

I'm really, really, really excited to read the Wind of Winter. IT'S ALMOST HERE!!!

As we all know, Winter is coming!

N'ah, that's just El Nino.