Daendrew Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Coldhands is secretly.... Teddy Roosevelt. But Teddy Roosevelt secretly never rode a moose. Thus, Teddy Roosevelt secretly isn't Coldhands. It's all very confusing. It's almost as confusing as ShowTyrell-Lannister relations. Quote [at the wedding of Sansa and Tyrion, Olenna Tyrell sums up the complex family tree that will result from the impending marriages of Joffrey, Margaery, Loras and Cersei] Lady Olenna Tyrell: [to Loras] So, their son will be your nephew after you're wed to Cersei, of course. And you will be the king's stepfather and brother-in-law. [Loras looks annoyed and upset. He does not respond] Lady Olenna Tyrell: [to Margaery] When you marry the king, Joffrey's mother will become his sister-in-law. And your son will be Loras'... nephew? Grandson? I'm not sure. But your brother will become your father-in-law, that much is beyond dispute. [Loras looks angrily at his grandmother, and leaves the table. Olenna smiles smugly] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 But Coldhands doesn't ride a moose either. He rides an elk. So Teddy of House Roosevelt is still in the running. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Killer Snark Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Bear Grylls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daendrew Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 6 hours ago, Lady Blizzardborn said: But Coldhands doesn't ride a moose either. He rides an elk. So Teddy of House Roosevelt is still in the running. Taedorrah has not been legitimized. He is a Snow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 1 hour ago, Daendrew said: Taedorrah has not been legitimized. He is a Snow. Didn't realize he was illegitimate. Though I'm sure the occasional political opponent called him a bastard once in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daendrew Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 1 hour ago, Lady Blizzardborn said: Didn't realize he was illegitimate. Though I'm sure the occasional political opponent called him a bastard once in a while. He is the spawn of some fishwife. Doesn't even get a last name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Targaryen Posted May 8, 2018 Share Posted May 8, 2018 Coldhands is secretly the "piece of fluff for an elephant" referenced by Eddie Izzard in his 1999 standup show "Definite Article" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 Coldhands is secretly GRRM. That's why he's taking so long to finish. It's not easy to write a book when you're riding an elk in a frozen waste. And are dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukle Posted May 10, 2018 Share Posted May 10, 2018 Coldhands is secretly Santa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen of Procrastination Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 Coldhands is secretly a secret Targaryen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Not Appearing Posted May 11, 2018 Share Posted May 11, 2018 Coldhands is secretly... very warm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Blizzardborn Posted May 13, 2018 Share Posted May 13, 2018 Coldhands is secretly...Daemon Targaryen. After killing One-Eye he felt the need for a change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukle Posted May 13, 2018 Share Posted May 13, 2018 Coldhands is secretly GRRM. It explains the delay; it's hard to type with cold hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukle Posted May 13, 2018 Share Posted May 13, 2018 On 5/10/2018 at 10:20 AM, Count Balerion said: Coldhands is secretly GRRM. That's why he's taking so long to finish. It's not easy to write a book when you're riding an elk in a frozen waste. And are dead. I legit didn't realise someone had made the same joke already. Geniuses think alike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted May 13, 2018 Share Posted May 13, 2018 What if ALL these theories turned out to be correct? Eek. Actually, every single theory that anyone has ever had about the books or the show is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukle Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 1 hour ago, Count Balerion said: What if ALL these theories turned out to be correct? Eek. Actually, every single theory that anyone has ever had about the books or the show is true. Even rubbish like this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 Coldhands is secretly glad they recast Benjen to be him for the show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of Ashes Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 ...the private name Catelyn gave Ned after their wedding night. "It was worse than having Ice inside me!" she complained to Lysa via raven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Count Balerion Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 On 5/13/2018 at 8:11 PM, Yukle said: Even rubbish like this? That one's kind of out there ... but ... well, let me think about it. By the way, Coldhands is a secret cactus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raisin' Bran Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 Coldhands is secretly in bed with your mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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