LongRider Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 After reading and playing in @Curled Finger thread of needing babysitters, I hope to continue the fun with the advertisements found in Grog's List, the original Craig's List of Westeros. This is for fun so enjoy and put in an add or two. Please, no trolls or dick pics. Wanted: A well trained pig and dog for live entertainments. Must be broke to ride, gentle, and no biting the riders or the spectators. Animals needed asap, guaranteed they will not be used as food and will be treated well. Inquire within. Lost; One shoe lost in vicinity of the Eyrie in the Vale. Maiden's shoe made of soft leather and in great condition. Small reward offered for return. Please send raven. Help! My son's favorite rag doll was recently destroyed by his hideous girl cousin who is also a low-down strumpet who is chasing after my husband. Please let me know by raven what you might have available, as my son is very disturbed about this loss. Also, strumpet for hire as cleaning lady (that will teach her!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissdbyfire Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 Grog's List Personal Ads: Speesh coash needed. Musth have eshperience teaching adultsh and musth be dishcreet. Pleath send CV via raven to Harrenhal, care oth Vargo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 Needed: Links of scrap chain from failed Blackwater Bay effort for recently escaped white and gold dragon seen flying askew over Mereen. Please contact Hugor Hill of the Second Sons for shipping instructions c/o Victarion Greyjoy. I LOVE THIS, LR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 Lonely Hearts: SRF Well educated and traveled. Dedicated and devout. Good job. Independent minded and uninhibited. Enjoys beach parties, weddings and strong powerful men. Looking for like minded man to settle down with, travel and start a shadow family with. Prisoners encouraged to respond. Please send inquiries to Castle Black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongRider Posted March 4, 2023 Author Share Posted March 4, 2023 Unable to find a singer for your weddings and other events? Long evenings without song at your hearth have the halls feeling colder? Stewing about the recent spate of singers gone missing and tired of looking high and low for them? Look no more! When you need a singer come on by the Flea Bottom Singer Exchange. We can find the right singer for you and yours. Please enquire within and have a bowl of brown while we discuss your musical needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongRider Posted March 4, 2023 Author Share Posted March 4, 2023 12 minutes ago, Curled Finger said: Lonely Hearts: SRF Well educated and traveled. Dedicated and devout. Good job. Independent minded and uninhibited. Enjoys beach parties, weddings and strong powerful men. Looking for like minded man to settle down with, travel and start a shadow family with. Prisoners encouraged to respond. Please send inquiries to Castle Black. What does SRF mean? I googled and found about 100 definitions and none seemed to fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 1 minute ago, LongRider said: What does SRF mean? I googled and found about 100 definitions and none seemed to fit. Single Red Female I saw a movie once called Single White Female. I thought it was thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LongRider Posted March 4, 2023 Author Share Posted March 4, 2023 2 minutes ago, Curled Finger said: Single Red Female I saw a movie once called Single White Female. I thought it was thing. It is now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 4, 2023 Share Posted March 4, 2023 3 minutes ago, LongRider said: It is now! Oh great now the smart ones will come in with abbreviations we will never be able to figure out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevets Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Are you impatiently waiting for your inheritance? Is your business rival succeeding at your expense? Do you have a romantic rival who is an obstacle to your happiness? Are your political rivals' activities keeping you awake at night, or is your overlord still around when he shouldn't be? For these and other problems with the people in your life, our counselors can suggest ways of discreetly solving your problems. We are expensive, but our services will still be less expensive than the alternatives. If interested, please visit or send your personal representative to: The House of Black & White in Braavos. Serious inquiries only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loose Bolt Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 I want to buy enough food for an army. King Stannis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corvo the Crow Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Do you find yourself unattractive? Feel you just don’t have that charismatic nose? or perhaps you need a whole facial remake? Don’t worry At Face Less we are here to help you face less problems. Face Less plastic surgery clinic is currently situated in Braavos only, with an Oldtown branch coming soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Are you finding it hard to relax in Westeros with all the fighting going on? Do you want a beautiful scenic location to live with your family away from war and danger? Do you want to be closer to the Gods? Say no more. We have just the thing for you. Buy property in Andalos. Set foot on the hallowed ground where the Seven-Who-Are-One™ came down to Hugor Hill™ and showed him the true way. Perhaps they may even grant you a Crown of Stars™. We have options available in the fertile Flatlands and beautiful Velvet Hills. But hurry, places are limited and Winter is Coming! Terms and conditions apply. Swan Maidens not included. No refunds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craving Peaches Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Wanted: a ship large enough to transport an eight-year-old boy and three kittens. Must have experienced crew and captain and willing to sail from King's Landing to Braavos at sudden notice. Crew must be disciplined and not reveal any details of departure beforehand. Payment in full upon arrival in Braavos with passengers in good shape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Got a wedding coming up soon and no time to plan your daughters BIG DAY? Look no further. At Frey's Wedding Consultants we take all the worry and hassle out of preparing the perfect ceremony for your girl to any aspiring King she chooses or happens to wander by. Frey's Wedding Consultants offers a full array of interior and exterior canopies and flowing tents, catering and a live band in the gallery not to mention guards and a full wait staff, even kennels for visiting canines! Book your consultation today for memories from wedding to bedding that will last a life time...however long that may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Found: One barrel of extremely rare Old Aemon's Specially Spiced Rum. Tastes like death warmed over! Collectors and connoisseurs only. Auction at Slavers Bay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevets Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Is your wife not giving you all you need? Do you not have a wife and feel in need of female companionship? Does your taste in partners run to that which is difficult to find, at least without attracting unwelcome attention? If so, we can help. Our ladies, girls not yet ladies, and boys will delight in helping to determine your needs, realize your fantasies, and fulfill your desires. We can be found at Pete's Parlour, 123 Red light st. at the bottom of Aegons Hill. Convenient to the Red Keep and the Sept of Baelor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 37 minutes ago, Nevets said: Is your wife not giving you all you need? Do you not have a wife and feel in need of female companionship? Does your taste in partners run to that which is difficult to find, at least without attracting unwelcome attention? If so, we can help. Our ladies, girls not yet ladies, and boys will delight in helping to determine your needs, realize your fantasies, and fulfill your desires. We can be found at Pete's Parlour, 123 Red light st. at the bottom of Aegons Hill. Convenient to the Red Keep and the Sept of Baelor. Who knew you could be so wicked? Pete's Parlour indeed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 Grand Opening: Euron's Edibles Emporium!!! Pressures of everyday life causing you sleepless nights? Brothers and nieces thwarting your political ambitions? Low back pain interfering with your love life or raiding? Relief is here. The Silence is coming to your neighborhood with a cornucopia of edible and liquid delights from acorn paste to sour leaf to shade of the evening for all that ails your mind and body. Take a break from pain and frustration with Euron's specially formulated mind expanding delectables designed to take you out of your chains for a few minutes to several days. Euron's Edibles Emporium--You never know where you'll wake up! Guaranteed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevets Posted March 5, 2023 Share Posted March 5, 2023 29 minutes ago, Curled Finger said: Who knew you could be so wicked? Pete's Parlour indeed... I thought about calling it Petyr's Parlour but decided that was a bit too obvious. Even Baelish isn't that blatant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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