Why Women Like Bad Boys, A Quick Lesson For Men Confused About Daario

[TheLastWolf]

Daenerys' track record is troubling to say the least, even more so when you look at her potential bunch of suitors. Yippeekay Euron. So Daario doesn't get off that easy. She's just a horny teen with a fair dose of madness.

[Gilbert Green]

I'm not that interested in debating why women like "bad boys".  I guess they do to some extent, and who am I to argue with a million years of evolution?  Sometimes, I guess, their women's instincts are not too far wrong, and the bad boy is not so bad after all, and besides, has the aggressive instincts that enable a man to protect his woman and his family.  At other times, however, the bad boy really is bad.  Sometimes -and maybe too often - a woman's romantic delusion that the bad boy will be good only to her because she is special gets exploded, and she finds herself just one more of the bad boy's victims.  This happened to poor Falia Flowers.

Daario?  He's bad news.  Dany, not quite so dumb as Falia, even knows on some level that Daario is bad news.  Problem is, Daario is hot, and Dany has the hots for him.  So she can't quite seem to stop herself from acting against her better judgment. 

If there will be a twist to Daario, I guess it will be that he is even worse news than Dany realizes.

On 11/24/2023 at 8:30 AM, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

So, twice recently I've encountered people who don't understand why Daenerys like Daario. Okay, let me try to explain simply. 

1. Daario does nice things for her. He woos her. His wooing is a bit strange at times, but it also is charming in some ways. 

2. Daario is handsome and smiles easily and often.

Yes, Daario is hot, and Dany has the hots for him.  We all understand that.

Yes, he does woo Dany.  He brings her severed heads as gifts and 'rapes her with his eyes'.   The next thing we hear, they are already lovers.  Details unavailable.

On 11/24/2023 at 8:30 AM, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

3. Daario doesn't challenge Daenerys's choice to choose. Despite him hitting on her a lot, Daenerys is the one who actually starts the romance.

Is she?  If the severed heads gift does not count as the first move we have no details at all.  Next we hear, they are lovers already.   She keeps sending him away for months on end, because she does not feel in control of him or of herself.  My guess is Daario is fine with this, because he has places to go and things to do, which Dany does not need to know about.  In Daario's mind, Daario is calling the shots.

On 11/24/2023 at 8:30 AM, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

 

On 11/24/2023 at 8:30 AM, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

4. During their dating, Daenerys actually has the power. Daario may be a monstrous man, but he poses literally no threat to Daenerys (from her perspective, and I'd say from our perspective, too).

Even Dany understands, in her saner moods, that Daario is at least a potential threat.  Certainly she does not trust him.

Daario does not seem to consider herself Dany's boy toy.  He is not happy at all with her "I command you to eff me" joke.   He gives her a dirty look, says he has things to do, and walks away.  He certainly does not obey.  My guess is, he fully intends to make her pay for that joke.

On 11/24/2023 at 8:30 AM, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

Now some general things that I'm sure other people have attempted to teach you, but I'll still try : 

1. Women don't like bad boys because they are assholes (although some of them certainly are). They like bad boys because they can be charming, smile often, and compliment the woman in question in ways that seem genuine and make said woman feel good. 

2. Women don't like bad boys just because they are bad. If you are a bad person, that doesn't mean women will like you. It's the charming part (with an edge of danger) that convinces them. Also, a note, a lot of time these bad boys are kind to the women in question (at least at first) while they aren't to others (which can seem flattering. special treatment). 

3. This is important. The main reason women like bad boys is because they are attractive (attitude, overall personality, and looks).

None of the above is bad.  "Being assholds" is bad, I guess, but you say that is not a defining trait.  Why even call them "bad boys" if they are defined by doing good things?  Why not call them "good boys".  You makes no sense.

[Lee-Sensei]

3 hours ago, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

Yes, that doesn’t seem like a bad boy that women would like at all. fuck boy and bad boy are certainly not the same thing lol. 

Eh, Gerris is being a douche and Barristan thinks so. Barristan wishes Daenerys looked Quentyn’s way because he wants to return ro Westeros, but unlike Gerris he sees Daenerys as a free woman who can make her own choices. A note : Although trying to tame a dragon was stupid, I think Quentyn is a fairly relatable character, and Quentyn unlike Gerris never talks shit about Daenerys, even in his own head. I don’t need to imagine being in Gerris’s shoes, I’ve been in similar situations lots of times…and I told my friends to move on, and didn’t talk shit about the women. Turning someone down…is an okay thing to do, and no one deserves to be insulted for it. i’ve also quite literally watched as men say the same exact things Gerris said to women who turn them down, and they are dicks. Again, Quentyn is basically fine. Gerris though, is a douchebag. 

Maybe we have different definitions, but I'd definitely consider fuck boys bad boys.

Daenerys can make her own choices. I never said that she can't. I just think she's attracted to bad boys. Wasn't this after Quentyn died? I think his anger is very understandable.

Edited November 25, 2023 by Lee-Sensei

[Gilbert Green]

On 11/24/2023 at 11:15 AM, Lord Varys said:

Daario is not 'a bad boy', he is a charming mercenary, period. He is nice (and not necessarily only) to Daenerys, he is fun, he is attractive, his confident and competent, and he is Dany's type.

And he is actually a pretty fitting partner for her. What I don't like are Dany's own doubts about their relationship, the idea that he is somehow not a suitable consort for a warrior and conqueror queen comes out of nowhere.

Daario is evil.  He casually boasts about betraying his companions and cutting their heads off.  He casually boasts about ripping tongues out and feeding them to dogs as a blood magic ritual.  He has murdered countless men and raped countless women.   Okay okay.  He soft peddles it a bit.  He does not say "murdered" and he does not say "raped".    Those are morally-charged terms and Daario does not believe in morality, and so does not use such language.  But we can read between the lines.

And yeah, he's a mercenary.  He kills for money.

But okay.  Never mind all that.  I see you would rather view him through the all-encompassing lens of class warfare.  He's lower class, so, how dare Dany not fuck him.

Edited November 25, 2023 by Gilbert Green

[SeanF]

6 minutes ago, Gilbert Green said:

Daario is evil.  He casually boasts about betraying his companions and cutting their heads off.  He casually boasts about ripping tongues out and feeding them to dogs as a blood magic ritual.  He has murdered countless men and raped countless women.   Okay okay.  He soft peddles it a bit.  He does not say "murdered" and he does not say "raped".    Those are morally-charged terms and Daario does not believe in morality, and so does not use such language.  But we can read between the lines.

And yeah, he's a mercenary.  He kills for money.

But okay.  Never mind all that.  I see you would rather view him through the all-encompassing lens of class warfare.  He's lower class, so, how dare Dany not fuck him.

Daario’s no worse than the typical lord, in this world.

[Gilbert Green]

3 minutes ago, SeanF said:

Daario’s no worse than the typical lord, in this world.

You are just trying to deflect moral criticism by saying everybody does it.  But everybody does not do it.  There are some people, yes, even in Westeros, who have not committed a single murder, or a single rape, nor even ripped out a single person's tongue for the sake of a blood magic ritual.

Don't want to get into a debate over whether this evil mercenary is more evil than that evil lord.  There is room in hell for both, surely.

[Gilbert Green]

20 hours ago, The Bard of Banefort said:

I think the problem is that Daario doesn’t read like a bad boy. He reads like a clown.

He's wearing a gaudy disguise.  Barristan realizes this.  "Even his beard wears false colors."

[SeanF]

4 minutes ago, Gilbert Green said:

You are just trying to deflect moral criticism by saying everybody does it.  But everybody does not do it.  There are some people, yes, even in Westeros, who have not committed a single murder, or a single rape, nor even ripped out a single person's tongue for the sake of a blood magic ritual.

Don't want to get into a debate over whether this evil mercenary is more evil than that evil lord.  There is room in hell for both, surely.

I’ve no idea if Daario has committed rape, but I’d need some textual evidence, before condemning him for it.

Daario kills for money;  lords kill for “honour”.

[Gilbert Green]

19 hours ago, sifth said:

All you said is true, but Daario is still a shit character. His biggest accomplishment for Dany, is killing two of his friends, presumably by surprise, just because he viewed Dany as hot. Whenever a character does something like this in a movie, me and my friends joke "the power of boners compelled him", lol

He is after her dragons.  EVERYBODY is after her dragons.  Dany is the one being compelled by HIS hotness.  As for Daario, I wouldn't be surprised to find he prefers boys.

Edited November 25, 2023 by Gilbert Green

[Gilbert Green]

1 hour ago, SeanF said:

I’ve no idea if Daario has committed rape, but I’d need some textual evidence, before condemning him for it.

Murder for money not good enough?   He's killed more men and boned more women than there are stars in the sky.  But don't worry.  I'm sure he had them all sign consent forms.  Because we all know that pirates and mercenaries never do anything without a consent form.

Edited November 25, 2023 by Gilbert Green

[Gilbert Green]

15 hours ago, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

Wait! Theon????????????? Theon is ....a bad boy?????? I am shook right now, lol.

Theon murdered two children.  Just to show he was a bad ass.  Didn't work out for him, but why should it?  Daario's story is not over yet either.  Euron's neither.

[Gilbert Green]

15 hours ago, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

I mean...Gerris is being a dick here. Barristan's reaction (and my reaction) to Gerris's behavior is bad. I would argue Ser Barristan respects Daario, at least in some ways, more than he respects Gerris.

Respects Daario?  Well, he knows he is the Queen's lover, and is not particularly eager to be sent wading through shit again.   Other than that, I am not aware that he respects Daario.  "Even his beard wears false colors."

[Gilbert Green]

16 hours ago, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

He somehow got a treaty with the Lhazareen.

Did he?  What evidence is there of this other than his own report?

[kissdbyfire]

ADwD, Daenerys I

The most crucial task of all she had entrusted to Daario Naharis, glib-tongued Daario with his gold tooth and trident beard, smiling his wicked smile through purple whiskers. Beyond the eastern hills was a range of rounded sandstone mountains, the Khyzai Pass, and Lhazar. If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need … but the Lamb Men had no reason to love Meereen. "When the Stormcrows return from Lhazar, perhaps I can use them in the streets," she told Ser Barristan

ADwD, Daenerys III

The Stormcrows were returning from Lhazar. Her captain was riding back to her, bringing her the friendship of the Lamb Men. Food and trade, she reminded herself. He did not fail me, nor will he. Daario will help me save my city.

ADwD, Daenerys IV

The queen was accustomed to such praise, yet somehow the compliment meant more coming from Daario than from the likes of Reznak, Xaro, or Hizdahr. "Captain. They tell us you did us good service in Lhazar." I have missed you so much.

"Your captain lives to serve his cruel queen."

[...]

He gave a careless shrug. "The Yunkai'i sent some hired swords to close the Khyzai Pass. The Long Lances, they name themselves. We descended on them in the night and sent a few to hell. In Lhazar I slew two of my own serjeants for plotting to steal the gems and gold plate my queen had entrusted to me as gifts for the Lamb Men. Elsewise, all went as I had promised."

 

[Gilbert Green]

11 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

ADwD, Daenerys I

The most crucial task of all she had entrusted to Daario Naharis, glib-tongued Daario with his gold tooth and trident beard, smiling his wicked smile through purple whiskers. Beyond the eastern hills was a range of rounded sandstone mountains, the Khyzai Pass, and Lhazar. If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need … but the Lamb Men had no reason to love Meereen. "When the Stormcrows return from Lhazar, perhaps I can use them in the streets," she told Ser Barristan

ADwD, Daenerys III

The Stormcrows were returning from Lhazar. Her captain was riding back to her, bringing her the friendship of the Lamb Men. Food and trade, she reminded herself. He did not fail me, nor will he. Daario will help me save my city.

ADwD, Daenerys IV

The queen was accustomed to such praise, yet somehow the compliment meant more coming from Daario than from the likes of Reznak, Xaro, or Hizdahr. "Captain. They tell us you did us good service in Lhazar." I have missed you so much.

"Your captain lives to serve his cruel queen."

[...]

He gave a careless shrug. "The Yunkai'i sent some hired swords to close the Khyzai Pass. The Long Lances, they name themselves. We descended on them in the night and sent a few to hell. In Lhazar I slew two of my own serjeants for plotting to steal the gems and gold plate my queen had entrusted to me as gifts for the Lamb Men. Elsewise, all went as I had promised."

Yes, I know all that.  Hence my question.  What evidence, other than trusting Daario, suggests Daario went within anywhere near Lhazar?  Not an ounce of Lhazar trade or Lhazar aid has reached them since the siege began, nor before that either as far as I know.  Nor any confirmation of Daario's story, as far as I know.

Do you really think Daario gave those gold and gems to the Lamb Men?

Edited November 25, 2023 by Gilbert Green

[Craving Peaches]

I think Daario is pandering to Daenerys' more destructive/impulsive side. He suggests solutions that would secure Daenerys' position in SB but with a high moral cost. He is, in effect, representing instant gratification.

[Alester Florent]

Honestly, if women like Bad Boys, I'm thoroughly disappointed in them.

That movie was terrible.

[The Bard of Banefort]

20 hours ago, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

Wait! Theon????????????? Theon is ....a bad boy?????? I am shook right now, lol. 

Oh, and I think Daario is meant to be a bad boy, whether or not fans read him that way. I guess..my personal experience with moving to other countries has taught me how much culture determines attractiveness (To be blunt, I was considered ugly by Western standards. Too short and too skinny. In Korea, I was considered ...actively handsome in my 20s, and now...still average in my 30s. When Koreans meet my partner, they never once have commented on the "surprise" of how pretty she is, Western people do it all the time (presumably because they think I'm too ugly for her). Daenerys grew up in the Free Cities, she...just has a different idea of what it means to be attractive than we do. 

Theon is a tortured (no pun intended) sadboi who uses bravado to conceal his crippling insecurities. Women want to heal him. 

For what it’s worth, plenty of attractive women go for men who are, so to speak, not quite on their level. Just look at Pete Davidson.

[Lord of Raventree Hall]

5 hours ago, The Bard of Banefort said:

For what it’s worth, plenty of attractive women go for men who are, so to speak, not quite on their level. Just look at Pete Davidson.

Lol, if your point is that people are justified in thinking that my partner is out of my league...I think that is kind of randomly cruel. However, I dated constantly in my 20s. I moved from date to date with ease, and had a new girlfriend within months of breaking up. I was obviously considered desirable. I am not saying I was considered drop dead gorgeous, but a combination of my personality and ...good enough looks (or from some perspectives, even good looks) was enough to have a lot of dating success. Again, in America, I doubt that would have ever happened...and not because Korean women are like....aiming down, lol, while American women are not settling or something like that...but literally because my looks are perceived differently. Many American women even have said to me that they wished their boyfriends were like me...but I know, they aren't attracted to me. That's the key. They think I'm ugly, so my personality cannot win out...but Korean women don't think I'm ugly, so it can. 

A note : Two of my girlfriends in Korea, even, to my shock, expressed the opinion that I was out of their league. I was shook to my very core when that happened. I didn't even know how to deal with it, particularly my first girlfriend in Korea, as I had not adjusted to the cultural change. Here we were BOTH thinking the other person was kind of out of each others league. And to further this argument, I even had Korean men also say this to me (about several of my exes). I am not an idiot who is misreading the situation, I know how I was perceived here. And you know what, it was really nice...for awhile in my life to be told I was good looking. I shower, I shave, I wear nice clothes, and I smile easily/often. If I was just 4 inches taller, I'd put money down, that American women would suddenly change their mind about me. That's it. Just 4 inches. But that's the thing, the average height in Korea...is about 4 inches shorter than America. It's really that simple. 

5 hours ago, The Bard of Banefort said:

Theon is a tortured (no pun intended) sadboi who uses bravado to conceal his crippling insecurities. Women want to heal him. 

I would argue that Theon is..the kind of bad boy I think is fake then, lol. He is in no way charming. I love Theon...because of the struggle and personal identity he goes through, but ACoK Theon is 100% just an asshole to women, and his charm is paper thin. I was here defending bad boys, but...I guess if Theon is a bad boy, I have to admit that some people must be attracted to assholes...cause Theon is painfully obviously an asshole. If I met the woman version of Theon, ......actually what am I saying? I have one specific ex who was a complete asshole, and I dated her anyways. She was certainly more charming than Theon from my perspective.....but she was also certainly an obvious asshole. All of my female friends said, "Break up with her!" basically from day 1, lol. 

[The Bard of Banefort]

15 minutes ago, Lord of Raventree Hall said:

Lol, if your point is that people are justified in thinking that my partner is out of my league...I think that is kind of randomly cruel. However, I dated constantly in my 20s. I moved from date to date with ease, and had a new girlfriend within months of breaking up. I was obviously considered desirable. I am not saying I was considered drop dead gorgeous, but a combination of my personality and ...good enough looks (or from some perspectives, even good looks) was enough to have a lot of dating success. Again, in America, I doubt that would have ever happened...and not because Korean women are like....aiming down, lol, while American women are not settling or something like that...but literally because my looks are perceived differently. Many American women even have said to me that they wished their boyfriends were like me...but I know, they aren't attracted to me. That's the key. They think I'm ugly, so my personality cannot win out...but Korean women don't think I'm ugly, so it can. 

A note : Two of my girlfriends in Korea, even, to my shock, expressed the opinion that I was out of their league. I was shook to my very core when that happened. I didn't even know how to deal with it, particularly my first girlfriend in Korea, as I had not adjusted to the cultural change. Here we were BOTH thinking the other person was kind of out of each others league. And to further this argument, I even had Korean men also say this to me (about several of my exes). I am not an idiot who is misreading the situation, I know how I was perceived here. And you know what, it was really nice...for awhile in my life to be told I was good looking. I shower, I shave, I wear nice clothes, and I smile easily/often. If I was just 4 inches taller, I'd put money down, that American women would suddenly change their mind about me. That's it. Just 4 inches. But that's the thing, the average height in Korea...is about 4 inches shorter than America. It's really that simple. 

I would argue that Theon is..the kind of bad boy I think is fake then, lol. He is in no way charming. I love Theon...because of the struggle and personal identity he goes through, but ACoK Theon is 100% just an asshole to women, and his charm is paper thin. I was here defending bad boys, but...I guess if Theon is a bad boy, I have to admit that some people must be attracted to assholes...cause Theon is painfully obviously an asshole. If I met the woman version of Theon, ......actually what am I saying? I have one specific ex who was a complete asshole, and I dated her anyways. She was certainly more charming than Theon from my perspective.....but she was also certainly an obvious asshole. All of my female friends said, "Break up with her!" basically from day 1, lol. 

The part about Pete Davidson wasn’t a reference to you at all. Only the first paragraph about Theon was in response to you, and originally I was just going to write it as its own comment. 

Why an attractive woman would want a less-attractive man is something that comes up here quite a bit (usually with regards to Sansa and Sandor), and my response in the past has been that this is something that happens in the real world all the time. I also don’t know what you or your girlfriend look like, so it wouldn’t be possible for me to pass judgement either way. Apologies if I wasn’t clear enough.