Moosicus Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Certainly Roger's adventures will take him through Amsterdam where he'll shoot up every hash-bar he finds. Hundreds of pot-heads will be blown away, but strangely Roger will never have to reload his gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exa Inova Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1420840' date='Jun 30 2008, 12.22']Certainly Roger's adventures will take him through Amsterdam where he'll shoot up every hash-bar he finds. Hundreds of pot-heads will be blown away, but strangely Roger will never have to reload his gun.[/quote] Im sure he will enjoy his Royale with cheese because he doesnt need to balance things out. [quote]You live in the Netherlands, where drugs are allowed. You should technically be killed for being a mass murderer[/quote] No, we allow people to persue happiness as it is the only moral purpose of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 TG has already said that if you try a joint, you are a mass murderer. Don't try your tricks with me, Death Chooser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1420840' date='Jun 30 2008, 05.22']Certainly Roger's adventures will take him through Amsterdam where he'll shoot up every hash-bar he finds. Hundreds of pot-heads will be blown away, but strangely Roger will never have to reload his gun.[/quote] And he doesn't mean the "special .38" baby! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 It will be interesting to see how many times: Karen and Roger are separated, spurring desperate attempts to find each other Karen is almost-raped Roger loses his gun Strawmen stand opposed to Roger and his truthiness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1421674' date='Jun 30 2008, 15.09']It will be interesting to see how many times: Karen and Roger are separated, spurring desperate attempts to find each other Karen is almost-raped Roger loses his gun Strawmen stand opposed to Roger and his truthiness[/quote] The answer is 42. Or wait. Has that already been done? Fuck it. Would that matter to TG? I ask you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 1, 2008 Author Share Posted July 1, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1420801' date='Jun 30 2008, 02.30']The new book will be about a detective, named Roger, and his new client, a mysterious woman named Karen. She needs Roger's help finding three boxes of orders that went missing at the Parkin' Mall. Roger seeks the advice of his mentor, Zipp. Zipp gives him his special snub-nosed .38 and says "this is the truth, baby". The case leads Roger into New York's seedy underworld sex trade, where he poses as a submissive in Mistress Jenna's bondage club. Later it turns out that the Parkin' Mall is only the beginning. Things go from bad to worse when Roger realizes that the source of all the trouble is the infamous criminal organization known as the "Jah Gang". They run an illegal import/export business using a corrupt Canadian shipping company - Imperial Orders - as a front. But first, Roger must get past the Dark Sistahs. Evil women who sold their souls to gangsta-rap recording companies in order to have their demo tapes played. One of the Dark Sistahs, Vicki, kidnaps Roger and takes him to Europe, with all its Old World charm, and hopes to convert him to her cause. While there, Roger goes to a lot of museums and learns to paint just as well as a renaissance master. His paintings plant the seeds of liberty within horrible European regimes, like France and Germany. Ultimately Roger learns that the only way to defeat the Jah Gang is to beat them at their own game. Rugby. Reaching back to his days as a foozball champion, Roger quickly becomes the best Rugby player in the world, nobody able to withstand his "spin kick". However, nobody knows how the book ends, because nobody gets this far without shooting themselves. Terry Goodkind's comments regarding this will revolve around people not choosing life, and that they're missing the big picture.[/quote] :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: The greatest post in the history of the Goodkind threads! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 [quote name='Myshkin' post='1422076' date='Jun 30 2008, 21.04']:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: The greatest post in the history of the Goodkind threads![/quote] Praise from Caesar, at long last. I feel all warm inside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arichamus Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I have a great deal of difficulty accepting at face value Epicureanism, "The team comes first." being branded into me at an early age(which is when I was born, just so you know). Anyway, PRAISE MOOSICUS! PRAISE HIM WITH GREAT PRAISE! Truly great, that paragraph, would be even funnier if it becomes True... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Moosicus is god. Or Terry Pratchett. One of the two. Or both. Anyway, indeed a post that should get put into The Blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 [quote name='The Pita Enigma' post='1422602' date='Jul 1 2008, 08.55']Moosicus is god. Or Terry Pratchett. One of the two. Or both. Anyway, indeed a post that should get put into The Blog.[/quote] Well, I've basked in this long enough. :smoking: On with the parodies. Eventually Roger employs the services of Lara, Jaina, and Bernadine. They're hot, they're leather-clad, they're lesbians, and they're lawyers. Maybe lusty. They still carry electric butt-plugs. :leaving: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caligula_K Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1420801' date='Jun 30 2008, 05.30']The new book will be about a detective, named Roger, and his new client, a mysterious woman named Karen. She needs Roger's help finding three boxes of orders that went missing at the Parkin' Mall. Roger seeks the advice of his mentor, Zipp. Zipp gives him his special snub-nosed .38 and says "this is the truth, baby". The case leads Roger into New York's seedy underworld sex trade, where he poses as a submissive in Mistress Jenna's bondage club. Later it turns out that the Parkin' Mall is only the beginning. Things go from bad to worse when Roger realizes that the source of all the trouble is the infamous criminal organization known as the "Jah Gang". They run an illegal import/export business using a corrupt Canadian shipping company - Imperial Orders - as a front. But first, Roger must get past the Dark Sistahs. Evil women who sold their souls to gangsta-rap recording companies in order to have their demo tapes played. One of the Dark Sistahs, Vicki, kidnaps Roger and takes him to Europe, with all its Old World charm, and hopes to convert him to her cause. While there, Roger goes to a lot of museums and learns to paint just as well as a renaissance master. His paintings plant the seeds of liberty within horrible European regimes, like France and Germany. Ultimately Roger learns that the only way to defeat the Jah Gang is to beat them at their own game. Rugby. Reaching back to his days as a foozball champion, Roger quickly becomes the best Rugby player in the world, nobody able to withstand his "spin kick". However, nobody knows how the book ends, because nobody gets this far without shooting themselves. Terry Goodkind's comments regarding this will revolve around people not choosing life, and that they're missing the big picture.[/quote] Best thing ever written, or bestest thing ever written? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moodrets Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 My apologies for intruding, but are there any Confessor Quote of the Days? I recall there being numerous qotds for the previous books but a quick skim through the last couple of Goodkind threads did not turn up any. Did The_Mad_Moose, or whoever it was that did them, continue the legacy by giving Confessor quotes? I'd like to read up on the funnier bits, given that the chances of my purchasing/borrowing the book are slim to none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 Start [url="http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?showtopic=24055&hl=goodkind&st=220"]here[/url], and continue [url="http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?showtopic=24212&hl=goodkind"]here[/url]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angalin Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 [quote name='El Jax Campeador' post='1419780' date='Jun 28 2008, 21.38']Is it just me or did TG throw TOR under the bus here? [i]Putnam is a team of talented people at the very top level of publishing. To be chosen to partner with a publisher of their stature has long been my objective;[/i] And despite the ret-conning of that statement within the same letter, there just isn't a real expression of confidence or gratitude towards TOR. Continuing to refer to "my new publishers". Yeesh. Poor TOR.[/quote] I noticed that too. The PW piece said that Goodkind's agent talked to Tor about the new project, but why would Tor take on mainstream fiction? TG could have been a little more appreciative, given that Tor made him a name in the first place and keeps the backlist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 [quote name='Myshkin' post='1425585' date='Jul 2 2008, 22.00']Start [url="http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?showtopic=24055&hl=goodkind&st=220"]here[/url][/quote] Ah, sweet coiled fury. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 [url="http://www.literature-map.com/terry+goodkind.html"]This amuses my insomniac mind[/url]. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 [quote name='Moosicus' post='1425419' date='Jul 2 2008, 17.46']Well, I've basked in this long enough. :smoking: On with the parodies. Eventually Roger employs the services of Lara, Jaina, and Bernadine. They're hot, they're leather-clad, they're lesbians, and they're lawyers. Maybe lusty. They still carry electric butt-plugs. :leaving:[/quote] Oh I get it! You're writing the marketing text for the televised version of the new books! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 And Hobb is right on him. [url="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HilarityEnsues"]This may lead to a humorous situation![/url] Oddly, TG and Weiss are very far away in the map. Also TG and Tom Clancy, as well as Piers Anthony and JK Rowling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 [quote name='Jaxom 1974' post='1426102' date='Jul 3 2008, 10.52']Oh I get it! You're writing the marketing text for the televised version of the new books! :lol:[/quote] All we can do is look to the future. A very dark, bleak future. Full of parodies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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