Jump to content

Goodkind XLIII: A Rahl By Any Other Name...

Foreverlad

By Foreverlad,
in Literature

Recommended Posts

Foreverlad Council Member

Foreverlad

Posted
Posted

Welcome to another Goodkind thread.

We ask that you maintain a modicum of Lemminghood by following the basic rules:

1) DO NOT FEED THE YEARD.

2) No trolling or inciting others to troll on other boards.

3) No flaming.

4) Membership into the Church of Lemmings is free. If you approve of the message, you're already a member.

Anyway, figure we should start this thread off right with a little art. Here is The Cast Of Characters for The Law of Nines

Many thanks to MinDonner for the original idea.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
kuenjato Council Member

kuenjato

Posted
Posted
Yeah, back in the day I didn't know any better. I'd read his interviews and think Man, this guy is kind of a dick but I couldn't find much negative criticism to support my own feelings. Understand, the only places you could really talk about Goodkind were at the frothing-at-the-mouth sites where it was impossible to find any real dissension. I had to use the right keywords in google to end up here. :lol:

Anyway, day I finished the final book I was so annoyed and bitter I managed to come across Westeros's Goodkind threads and I've been a well-adjusted maladjusted individual ever since.

I hear you. After suffering through the first book (and throwing it across the room a good half-dozen times, something I usually never do, but WFR...deserved such treatment), I went on the internet and was astonished to see all the five star reviews on amazon.com and virtually no criticism of Tairy on the internets. Granted, this was back in 1998.

Fun story: not long after, early '99 I believe, an online friend published a "anti-Sword of Truth" website on tripod, possibly the first devoted to mocking the Yeard (sadly gone, though his prior WoT site is still around). To drum up some debate I posted a link over at prophets.org (tg.com originally). My profile/IP was instantly banned and the resultant furor was hilarious to behold. One fellow from Germany actually did try and defend the series on the anti-SoT message board, and got his ass handed to him, but the rest pulled the all-too-familiar ostrich manuever, chanting "la la la let's ignore the meanies".

Considering how macho Terry's work is, his fans sure are a bunch of cowards.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kincsem Sellsword

Kincsem

Posted
Posted
Anyway, figure we should start this thread off right with a little art. Here is The Cast Of Characters for The Law of Nines

Many thanks to MinDonner for the original idea.

Brilliant. :bow:

The way things are going, we're going to learn that there is far less exaggeration and mockery there than we'd like to believe now. It's going to be just that bad.

Now that I know the chicken-not-a-chicken goes on for 80 pages, I think I am going to have to find a cheap, used copy just to experience evil non-chickenry for myself. I must know how it feels. Which tome of deathless fictional masterwork does this occur in? :drool: [no need--I found the title]

I've tried, but so far have failed to find my way to the discussions in Tairyland where others have found such foolishness. I find only a top page. Could someone send me a PM telling the details of how to experience the joy of these discussions? I will be good, keep my mouth shut (my keyboard still). It sounds too delicious to spoil.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jaxom 1974 Council Member

Jaxom 1974

Posted
Posted
Anyway, figure we should start this thread off right with a little art. Here is The Cast Of Characters for The Law of Nines

Many thanks to MinDonner for the original idea.

You know, I accept that it's TG so the princess has to be smokin' hot and full of good moral celery, but still I worry that she won't be...what's wrong with me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
VigoTheCarpathian Council Member

VigoTheCarpathian

Posted
Posted
....

Anyway, figure we should start this thread off right with a little art. Here is The Cast Of Characters for The Law of Nines

Many thanks to MinDonner for the original idea.

Brilliant execution, Foreverlad, and I love your artistic vision, but in true lemming communistic fashion, I have a few notes.

1. I was thinking that Alex's dad might look a little more like this.

2. Alex's evil stepbrother, who we'll meet in the next few books (who will have his spine ripped out, LOL, spoiler) will look something like this.

3. I'm liking the person you have listed as "Narrator" for the role of "Alex's Mom". And I smile inside when I think of the mixture of my vision for his dad and mother, and Tairy's preferred method of human procreation (the forceful kind).

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Xereaux Sellsword

Xereaux

Posted
Posted
Don't know if I'll have the energy to produce a whole strip of these, but for your viewing pleasure, here's page 1 of a comic strip.

Fair warning, may take a little time to load.

Classic, Foreverlad! I especially like Ayn Rand as the narrator, staring creepily out of the page at me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jaxom 1974 Council Member

Jaxom 1974

Posted
Posted
Don't know if I'll have the energy to produce a whole strip of these, but for your viewing pleasure, here's page 1 of a comic strip.

Fair warning, may take a little time to load.

Okay. That's awesome. I just might not sue you now for not including Jax in your cast of characters... :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nichole Council Member

Nichole

Posted
Posted
Don't know if I'll have the energy to produce a whole strip of these, but for your viewing pleasure, here's page 1 of a comic strip.

Fair warning, may take a little time to load.

Please keep them coming!

And to Myshkin: good job sir.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kincsem Sellsword

Kincsem

Posted
Posted
Don't know if I'll have the energy to produce a whole strip of these, but for your viewing pleasure, here's page 1 of a comic strip.

Fair warning, may take a little time to load.

Incredible. The spooky Ayn-taleteller is a wonderful touch. I am awed and amazed. :bow:

I predict this will make more sense than the actual Tairytale. :wideeyed:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mme Erzulie Council Member

Mme Erzulie

Posted
Posted

Just to accomodate WolfMaid, here I am. It's good to be missed. And good to see the original lemmings returning to the flock.

I just spent the past week or so playing a couple of gigs at Glastonbury (I swear that if I ever achieve any sort of fame, however short-lived, I will do my bit to shed light on the travesty of Goodkind and his compound and everything associated therewith), and this is what happens. I'm too exhausted still to contribute anything more creative than an observation that the Evil Swedish aspect lends itself well to cast our own communist elk as a Pythonesque MadMööse.

And holy fucking shit. While reading the last five or so pages of the last thread, I was continually waiting for someone to pull the plug on the joke and reveal themselves as the mastermind behind the fake review. But it is actually true. ALEX RAHL. PLUMBING TRUCK. PIRATE FLAG. ALTERNATE WORLD. SAVING WOMAN. Goodkind literally makes Dan Brown look like the Miles Davis of literature. Will the altruistic plumbing henchmen by any chance number four? Will they be tall, have blond hair and a thick neck? Like Mario and Luigi's Swedish cousins?

Isn't the concept of plumbing quite death-choosing anyway? I lack the exquisite eloquence of Will and others, but plumbing is just a way of making other people deal with your shit? Literally? Shouldn't we all be men enough to rise up and live our own lives and take care of our own shit? Why should I pay taxes to take care of your shit? Maybe the twist in this book will be Richard building a biological toilet to convert the unbelieving masses, and then everyone will start fertilizing their gardens with their own excrement, effectively turning shit to flowers? But isn't that very pinko-hippie tree-hugging-like? And something that perhaps Mud People would do? The mind is overflowing with questions, akin to a clogged toilet overflowing with feces. I need a brain enema or a lobotomy now.

I'm still not completely recovered from the madness that is Glastonbury, so I might be misremembering or mixing stuff up, but did it say that Jax had to fight with a dagger because the magic that worked in her world was ineffective here? Would this not be the Dagger of Factuality? And didn't the last book (Confessor?) end with Richard Rahl creating a new world without magic where all the communists were transported to? Wouldn't that be this world? Wouldn't that mean that Jax is K-Lan's descendant come from the Midlands (or whatever Dicky's homeworld was called)? Wouldn't that mean that this is literally, LITERALLY just more books in the SoT series?

Sorry if this is all fuddled up or if someone has already remarked upon this. Hopefully have time to take the piss out of this more soon. This is too good to be true. No fucking way. I still don't believe it. He cannot be that much of an unscrupulous, free-loading douche-hack. What am I talking about? Of course he can. He is the one, the only, Terry Goodkind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ljkeane Council Member

ljkeane

Posted
Posted

Another SOT book, oh joy.

I had a couple of the books bought for me years ago and I'm somewhat cursed with the need to finish series once I start them. So I've been reading some of the books when I see them in the library and I read the last book a few months ago, I must have missed a few though because I don't remember an evil chicken.

Yeah the pages and pages of characters talking about how awesome Richard is and how moral he was to have civilians murdered was annoying and the story was pretty crap, but fuck me the ending was shit. It's been about 10 books of fighting an evil emperor who apparently is a military genius who's conquered the entire world and the way they defeat him is to pretend to surrender and then kill him when he comes into their fortress with no soldiers, Jesus Christ even if you agree with his bollocks philosophy how is that not a shit ending? :bang:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Werthead Council Member

Werthead

Posted
Posted
"Pythonesque", niiiiiiice. :leer:

So who's left? Pat and Dylanfanatic, I think. Then we're complete.

Like Voltron? When all the lemmings are present our powers shall be magnified.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...