When people ask what you're reading....

[jbpark]

I always find it awkward when people ask me that, unless it's someone I know very well. No idea why. I usually just tell them the title.

[Derfel Cadarn]

I really hate this. On occasion during the week (never weekends) after my last early shift or after a particularly tiring late shift I'll drop into a pub for a couple of beers before heading home, and like to read. Usually I'm left in peace but on occasion someone'll either ask what I'm reading, or, if the pub's playing loud music they'll ask how I can read. To the first question I usually just show them the book. To the second I'll just mutter "easily".

[Isis]

Wow. I'm surprised so many of you have such strong negative feelings about this. I am incredibly easily annoyed by a great many things but I'm not bothered if someone asks me about what I'm reading and would be happy to have a quick chat with them about it.

I was on a train to uni a couple of years back and the woman sitting next to me was (nosily) looking at the titles of the papers I was reading, which were about the immunology of malaria, and we had a conversation about the possibility of malaria returning to the UK. I thought it was nice that someone had an interest in what I do for a living actually rather than sitting there reading about what some Z-list celeb has been up to.

[Tormund Ukrainesbane]

-What are you reading?

-Mein Kampf.

-*leaves*

problem solved.

[mashiara]

It depends on who is asking, actually. If I know the person is truly interested I will tell them the title and what it's about, and whether I like it or not so far. I don't know many readers but for a couple of people and they are welcome to ask me anytime. If they are just doing it to make small talk or just to bug me then I do get upset. "A book" is my standard answer.

What pisses me off is when they take the book off my hands, read the title and then start making derogatory comments about it, even people who don't bother reading anything else than the newspaper. I could tell you some stories about this jerk at work... Or when they say "why are you reading again?" which happens very often. "'Cause I really enjoy it and it beats talking to you!" is the answer that comes to mind but I haven't actually said it out loud yet.

[Astra]

I hate it too.

My wife is not a reader, so she cannot comprehend what is to be submerged in a story in another world and how it is frustrating when somebody jerks you out of it.

Recently one of my colleagues developed a habit to come to canteen when I have a lunch and chat non-stop. I used to have a lunch then read a book for the rest of the time but now anymore. However, as I am typing right now, I am resolving to change location of where I usually sit and eat/read. If he ever asks me, I will have to be straight forward about it.

[moirne]

Based on all the hostility going on in this thread, I guess I will never ask this question to anyone. Though I'm not one to comment about books to strangers to begin with, I suppose I might if I saw the cover and loved the book too. It's nice to be able to geek out with someone about a common interest.

The only people who ask me what I am reading are family members. And honestly, since I am reading in a common area, I expect the question. If you don't want to be bothered, lock yourself in a separate room. That solves the problem.

[Zoë Sumra]

If I'm in the process of reading? Nine times out of ten I'll be very annoyed at the interruption because I was immersed in the story and, hence, will be rather snippy, if I bother to answer at all. The other time out of ten I'll be pausing to think about something or I won't be particularly immersed in the book and I'll shut up about its merits or flaws ten minutes later. If I've put the book down, it's generally the ten minutes version, unless it's so vapid there's nothing to say (hey, I like vapid books at times). If the questioner is rude about SFF, I'll generally become rude about pop culture...

[Tyrellius]

This annoys me as well.

What really gets on my nerves is when I'm lying next to my girlfriend at night, reading before we go to sleep. She'll turn to me and ask me, "Whatcha doin'?"

:shocked:

Whatcha doin always means:

1. I wanna talk about something

2. Wanna rassle?

[Bellis]

I was on a train to uni a couple of years back and the woman sitting next to me was (nosily) looking at the titles of the papers I was reading, which were about the immunology of malaria, and we had a conversation about the possibility of malaria returning to the UK. I thought it was nice that someone had an interest in what I do for a living actually rather than sitting there reading about what some Z-list celeb has been up to.

The only time someone has asked about professional reading, he was trying to pick me up in a pub.

So I was waiting for some friends to meet me, and I was sitting at the bar with a pint and decided to take out this review article (on cancer genetics). Some kid straight from India (I'm pretty sure younger than me) walks in, past a row of empty stools and sits right next to me. I continue to read and ignore him. After like ten minutes he works up the courage to ask me "what I'm studying". I tell him I'm trying to find ideas for a grant. And also that I'm leaving town at the end of the week (which was true). Poor guy :laugh:

[Rugburn]

Oh no! I am definitely someone who will ask people what they are reading (but only if they are reading something that looks like it might be sci-fi/fantasy-ish). If it is sci-fi/fantasy-ish, my next question usually is, "Have you read George R.R. Martin?". If not, I then explain how much better it is than the Goodkind book they are reading is...

Maybe I can get a free pass as someone who is 'genuinely interested'. Still, I never worried too much about the interruption part, so I suppose there is room for improvement no matter what.

[Kymeera]

If I'm reading I generally want to be left alone, so I usually only read when I'm at home. This would always backfire when I spent my summers at my father's. For whatever reason, my stepmother thought if I spent a large part of the day reading I must be horribly bored and dying for a conversation. It was also much more likely to happen whenever I was nearing the end of a really good book. I thought nothing could get more annoying than that...

...Until my ex boyfriend. God forbid I solely entertain myself and not him, so every half hour or hour he would pop in and ask inane questions about the book. Whatcha reading? Same book as an hour ago. Is it good? Yes, same as an hour ago. Still think it would make a good movie? Yes, same as an hour ago. Why are you avoiding me? ALSIRGHQW8U :tantrum: 4GTJHEAO89RGU :bang: W9ERTU :bawl: !!!!

[Mad Monkey]

For me, it depends on how sincere it is.

[beniowa]

I used to get really annoyed when people would ask me that question. Nowadays, it's happened enough times that I've mellowed and it's merely a distraction. I'll just show them the book and generally they go away. If people show a little more interest, I try to carry the conversation for at least a few minutes. Luckily, I haven't had too many problems with people making silly remarks. I'd actually welcome a real conversation if more people were genuinely interested.

[MattL86]

I'm pretty suprised by this thread. I always sort of figured if I was reading around other people it was more or less obvious that they would ask what it was, and that I wouldn't be embarrassed/annoyed to tell them because...well I'm reading it in front of them.

On the flipside, I have asked people what they're reading as well, but to be fair I'd probably never ask a total stranger unless they were reading a book I had already read and I wanted to drum up a conversation about it. I've never got the feeling I had annoyed someone, and I'm usually pretty good at picking that up.

There is a difference though I think in asking a question and trying to force a conversation with someone who is reading.

-What are you reading?

-Mein Kampf.

-*leaves*

problem solved.

See now this is funny to me, but I don't think it would work. 90% of the people who might ask you the question wouldn't know what Mein Kampf is. Then having to explain it would ruin the whole humour of it.

[TheLoneliestMonk]

I usually just say "a book". I don't know why I'm such a smart ass about it because I always want to know what other people are reading. I usually try and casually get to an angle where I can see the cover though, because I kinda see reading the same way as headphones as a universal don't talk to me sign. If I notice someone is reading something I have read or am interested in reading, I'll just start talking to them about it though. I think I can tell when people want me to give it a rest though, which I hope helps. Hell, I'm so receptive to "give it a rest" signals that I may respond to them even when they aren' really there .

[AverageGuy]

When I'm reading, if I don't want to get into a conversation, I normally give title/author without looking up. If they press then I give type of book ("thriller" "mystery" "fantasy" "biography" "history" etc.) and a 2-3 sentence description of the plot and main actors. During this, I keep looking back at the pages, which is kind of rude but usually gets the point across while satisfying whomever's curiosity. I don't know, I try not to stress over it. It's somewhat annoying when someone interrupts, but I try to remember that most people don't really get into reading the way I do and give them some slack.

If someone asks me when I'm not reading -- which is pretty rare -- I'm normally reading a few books at once, so I tailor my response to the person. I'm shallow like that.

Once or twice I've run into someone who actually seems to care about the answer beyond mild curiosity, and in those cases I've actually talked about it.

[Eyelesbarrow]

heh. best time this happened to me was when some girly in the cafe asked about my copy of adorno's negative dialectics. i handed it to her, and her head exploded.

:lol: My college readings used to be along these lines. Brought back memories.

Wow. I'm surprised so many of you have such strong negative feelings about this. I am incredibly easily annoyed by a great many things but I'm not bothered if someone asks me about what I'm reading and would be happy to have a quick chat with them about it.

I'm surprised at the negative reactions too. I'm usually abrupt with strangers, but when it comes to books, I am capable of a short chat. Especially if they're interested in the book/ topic. (And once, on a train, I asked somebody if the book he was reading was good. I was planning to buy it.)

I've never met people who ask me what I'm reading and then make fun of it. But if I do, I'll probably throw something at them.

Although when I'm reading something really interesting, I'd rather not chat.

What I absolutely loathe is when people ask me what I do for fun. I always say, "reading." And they give me replies like, "I mean, really, what do you do for fun?" :tantrum:

[trio]

The worst type (and the most often thing that seems to happen to me) is when they ask, and then you begrudgingly tell them what it is to shut them up, and then you get some *snicker*, "Thats cute" bullshit.

I often feel a need to then defend the genre of fantasy. "Its not childish, its good literature, and I like it."

To which I usually get something like, "I am sure its good *snicker*/as long as it makes you happy *snicker*/ oh, is this the one with the kid that goes to the magic school *touches book*."

Seriously, do you actually know my sister??? Cos that's exactly what happens.

At this point I won't even tell her what I'm reading. She'll ask "Are you reading anything these days?" and my hackles will rise instantly. I'll say "I'm not going to tell you because you're always putting down my books!"

And then we'll have a big fight like two 14 year olds.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Well fine then. Don't tell me. BITCH!"

"Oh REAL MATURE! This is why I don't tell you!"

:bang:

But with other - less snarky - people I don't mind being asked.

My husband loves his books as well, and likes his sci-fi, so we'll often sit up in bed reading and tell each other about how we're liking/disliking our books and why.

It's nice, actually. But I can't remember any stranger ever asking me, tbh.

With colleagues, I'd just give the vaguest answer I could and then ask them what they're reading. Turns the tables and you don't have to talk about your book. And you still appear friendly and non-hostile.

[Fenryng]

It has been years since anyone asked me, but back when they did, it did not bother me that they were asking, and I always showed them the title and said what it was. Their reactions either led to conversations, or they were ignored, depending upon what the reaction was.