When people ask what you're reading....

[SpaceChampion]

If you're reasonably attractive then when asked this question I'd guess that 90% of the time it is because the person is hitting on you, but they don't realise what a turn off being interrupted like that is.

Even if that's not true, pretend they are hitting on you (instead of talking about the book, mention the 90% of the time factoid etc.) and tell them you are not interested, that should keep them away, or at least get them off the topic of what you are reading. If you're a guy and asked by a heterosexual guy... the results could be hilarious.

[Iskaral Pust]

When I read WoT it was during bus commutes when I lived in Seattle. Those books always garnered a lot of comments from strangers on the bus or walking past the bus-stop, but generally from fans asking if I was enjoying it. That's not too bad.

It's really annoying when a non-reader interrupts your reading with "what are you reading?" as a pretext for small-talk because they can't entertain themselves for five minutes. If a stranger does that, especially someone on a train or airplane, then I pointedly return to my book after a very cursory response. It's a little trickier to be so rude if it's a colleague or friend who does it.

I was re-reading Cryptonomicon on an airplane last week. As I stood up to disembark after I put away my book, some old guy sitting behind me mentioned how he spotted my book and that he is a fan of Stephenson. In the minute or two it took us to reach the terminal we had shared our mutual like for Cryptonomicon and Anathem. That was completely civilized and acceptable. It's not like he tapped my shoulder midway through the flight to say something as soon as he spotted the book.

Wrathofme -- I don't think she'll be your girlfriend much longer if you don't learn to read signals.

[SerNotAppearingOnThisBoard]

1. Show them what I'm reading.

2. Go back to reading.

If they want to talk about the book, fine, I'll talk about the book. If they don't want to talk about the book, go talk to someone else. I'm reading.

[El-ahrairah]

I have have a somewhat obsessive curiosity in this regard, and have been known to as this question quite often. :)

And when myself asked, I normally don't mind in the slightest. In most cases, I am reading because it's a good book, and I might make a convert. If I really want privacy to indulge between the pages, I would be alone.

[WrathOfTinyKittens]

Wrathofme -- I don't think she'll be your girlfriend much longer if you don't learn to read signals.

Haha I can read signals fine... the conversation in question generally occurs AFTER the "whoopie."

[Starkess]

And when myself asked, I normally don't mind in the slightest. In most cases, I am reading because it's a good book, and I might make a convert. If I really want privacy to indulge between the pages, I would be alone.

I think is the mindset of interrupters, failing to take in to account that 1) we can't always control where we have to be and 2) reading (such as headphones or being involved in a conversation) is usually a sign that you're not looking for small talk.

[elmis]

I often ask people what they're reading. Well, if it's in a setting where it fits though (such as the break room at work). For me, that's just being friendly and getting involved with your co-workers and acquaintances. I also happily stop reading and talk about what I'm reading and why I like it, if people ask me.

I can always pick up the book later, when there aren't anyone to talk to. Social contact is cool.

I never ask strangers on the plane / train though.

[Kabada]

2) reading (such as headphones or being involved in a conversation) is usually a sign that you're not looking for small talk.

I don't agree. Reading can be an indication that you actually want to read now rather than do anything else. It could just as easily be that you're bored and not at all disinclined to chat, but there was nobody there to chat to when you started reading. Or you don't have an opener (mostly on planes/trains). Or whatnot.

I'm actually quite surprised at how curmudgeonly most of y'all's reactions here are :)

I usually love when someone asks me about what I'm reading. It's not like it's that hard to get the message across that you'd rather continue reading than talk.

[Liadin]

I think is the mindset of interrupters, failing to take in to account that 1) we can't always control where we have to be and 2) reading (such as headphones or being involved in a conversation) is usually a sign that you're not looking for small talk.

I agree. And for me, not only could I not be in my apartment all the time even if I wanted to be, I don't want to be. Sometimes I want to read in the park. Or wherever. It's like headphones.

On planes, or in other places (waiting rooms, etc.) where you're forced to be and just happen to be reading, people might legitimately think you're reading to pass the time and would rather talk, but if you flip the book cover in their direction and go back to reading, they should take the hint. In the park, I'm there voluntarily, and if I wanted to meet people I wouldn't be reading.

It's not like it's that hard to get the message across that you'd rather continue reading than talk.

You'd be surprised. The kind of people who try to strike up conversations with strangers who are reading are not always the best at taking hints.

[HP Loveshaft]

I don't agree. Reading can be an indication that you actually want to read now rather than do anything else. It could just as easily be that you're bored and not at all disinclined to chat, but there was nobody there to chat to when you started reading. Or you don't have an opener (mostly on planes/trains). Or whatnot.

I'm actually quite surprised at how curmudgeonly most of y'all's reactions here are :)

I usually love when someone asks me about what I'm reading. It's not like it's that hard to get the message across that you'd rather continue reading than talk.

I'm really surprised too. I love it when people want to talk about books, if someone asks me about something I'm reading I'm happy to talk about it. Ignoring people or saying "a book"...that's not only really anti-social but it's basically a dick move. Is it that hard to be polite?

[Mad Monkey]

Couldn't you argue that it's polite not to interrupt a stranger like that in a public place? I mean, I don't stride up to people in grocery stores demanding to know what they're purchasing. To me, it's the same thing. The only way I could see myself really appreciating something like that is if the person was genuinely interested in starting a conversation about the book, or whatever they're doing, or anything at all, really. That's only happened a couple of times though and I really enjoyed those. In general, though, it usually goes something like, "What are you reading?" "(Title). It's really good!" "Oh." And it stops there.

[Bellis]

Couldn't you argue that it's polite not to interrupt a stranger like that in a public place? I mean, I don't stride up to people in grocery stores demanding to know what they're purchasing.

No but sometimes people will comment on other people's purchases in the checkout line. Just yesterday, I was buying a yoga mat from Target and the woman behind me and I got into a conversation about the quality of the mat and yoga studios in the neighborhood.

[Liadin]

I'd liken it to running. When I see somebody running in my neighborhood, I wouldn't dream of stopping them to ask how far they run each day/what their route is/whatever. This would be an especially asinine thing for me to do since I'm not a runner and know little about it. Same goes for interrupting strangers' reading, especially if you're not a reader.

[Zoë Sumra]

Couldn't you argue that it's polite not to interrupt a stranger like that in a public place?

This. Absolutely. Hellishly impolite.

[Isis]

The only time someone has asked about professional reading, he was trying to pick me up in a pub.

So I was waiting for some friends to meet me, and I was sitting at the bar with a pint and decided to take out this review article (on cancer genetics). Some kid straight from India (I'm pretty sure younger than me) walks in, past a row of empty stools and sits right next to me. I continue to read and ignore him. After like ten minutes he works up the courage to ask me "what I'm studying". I tell him I'm trying to find ideas for a grant. And also that I'm leaving town at the end of the week (which was true). Poor guy :laugh:

Lucky you. Kinda. I'd find it beyond awesome if the person doing it actually understood the topic of the papers and wanted to talk to me about it. I guess that doesn't happen very often. On Friday night a guy at the next table was asking me if I was "a scholar" after asking me about the tattoos on my arms. I got told off by my friend for not being polite enough in response (i.e. not being 100% amenable) even though I was blatantly doing something else while the guy was trying to get my attention. :rolleyes:

When I used to cycle to work every day I often had people stop me to ask for directions even though I had headphones on. I bet some of you think that's pretty rude, huh? :P

Seriously, I hate Other People. Anyone here who knows me in RL will confirm that. But even I don't think there's a such a crime as 'interrupting strangers in public places'. Fuck me, I thought I was antisocial.

[Guest Raidne]

Very rarely do people give me such an easy opportunity to totally weird them out. It's great. What am I reading? Oh I'm reading about these cyborgs that worship planetary AI who are at war with these immortals. My general go to when I don't really fill like putting in any effort into it is "shit with dragons in it."

It's amazing how fast people walk away. FTW!

Also, this isn't just for fantasy. Lots of books are total conversation stoppers. The best one I can think of is Jan Gross's Neighbors.

I get the general sentiment here though - when I was reading Wouk's Winds of War/War and Remembrance, I did not mind answering questions about it, or talking to other people who had read it. But I don't want to talk about sci fi/fantasy/spec fic with people who don't read it. It's a total waste of time.

But I totally don't mind meeting and talking to other fantasy/sci fi/spec fic readers because they asked me about whatever I was reading.

[russjass]

Someone once said to me on the train "That book looks long, do you think you will read all of it?"

I was speechless

[Derfel Cadarn]

I need to get some fake covers, that mnake it look like I'm reading the bible. If someone still persists in asking, I can then start harranguing them, telling them to repent of their sins and return to Almighty God.

[Astra]

I'd liken it to running. When I see somebody running in my neighborhood, I wouldn't dream of stopping them to ask how far they run each day/what their route is/whatever. This would be an especially asinine thing for me to do since I'm not a runner and know little about it. Same goes for interrupting strangers' reading, especially if you're not a reader.

WOW!

A really good example.

I am going to memorize it :)

[Mad Monkey]

Seriously, I hate Other People. Anyone here who knows me in RL will confirm that. But even I don't think there's a such a crime as 'interrupting strangers in public places'. Fuck me, I thought I was antisocial.

I never said that the question itself was illegal or should be reacted to as some sort of crime. It's just the obvious insincerity that makes it unnecessary; it's kind of like say, "Hey, how's it going?" except the other person has to put more effort into the answer than you put into the question. If you don't want actually want to talk to me, then don't talk to me. It's not that big of a deal. I don't think that's being "antisocial" (I hate that word; every douchebag on the Internet is "antisocial"); I don't want to talk to people who don't really want to talk to me, and I don't think that anyone else actually does either.