Mad Monkey Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 It's cool how literally every sentence contains 1/2 truth and 1/2 lie.Let's break it down:Teachers around the US are starting to discover Robert Stanek's Ruin Mist booksLie and if you want to use the books in your classroom, this wonderful guide can help you every step of the way.That's technically true. IF you wanted to use the books in your classroom -- and I'm guessing he doesn't mean to fix a wobbly table leg or as really uncomfortable Punishment Toilet Paper -- these guides would help you. So would a table lamp. If you really think these books belong near children, you need all the help you can get. Beyond being entertaining,]Truth. It definitely does go beyond entertaining. the stories offer important life lessons. What life lessons? The lesson that you should callously throw away the lives of your friends and companions because they aren't as "elite" as you are? The lesson that prepubescent girls should use their sexuality to control older men? The lesson that the best way to deal with a problem is to foist it upon an unsuspecting, helpless stranger who couldn't possibly do anything to fix it? Lie.Through the eyes of the characters,True. The characters have eyes. readers discover the importance of friendship, loyalty, truth and trust. The main characters aren't friends by the third book, and they are openly spiteful to the people they consider "friends". One of the male leads callously sacrifices the lives of hundreds of sailors needlessly instead of using his vast powers to win a trivial battle. The female lead constantly lies and is never punished for it, which pretty much skewers truth and trust right there. Lie.Readers grieve with Adrina as she mourns the loss of her mother.Readers will grieve, of course, as they realize they just blew a hundred bucks on 3 identical copies of a book series they already own. Adrina never mourns the loss of her mother; I don't think she even mentions it after the first couple of chapters -- I certainly don't remember it. They learn the importance of listening,To what? Lie. The leads repeatedly ignore everything around them and end up okay anyway, mainly because Stanek likes to set up cliffhangers and then forgets about them when he gets back to the cliffhung character's POV. and not just looking at the things around them, but truly seeing the world as it is.That's true. Kids who buy this book -- somehow -- will learn that there are sinister forces out there intent on separating them from their money. It is indeed better to learn this now, instead of learning it while you're bleeding in the dirt after you got shanked in prison. They learn about modesty, No. The main female lead is a haughty, elitist bitch and she only gets called on it once, and she doesn't change after that confrontation.prejudiceAnother lie. Elves' prejudices about men are more or less justified in the series. and how one person's perception of something can be different from another's.That's true, at least. Stanek's "perception" of his books is very different from mine... But most importantly, they learn that people who are true to each other and themselves can succeed.Okay, the main female lead is pretty much a poorly-written Littlefinger. Truth is not in her arsenal, and she never deals honestly or fairly with anyone -- not her friends, and definitely not herself. This wonderful classroom guide is complete with author biography, author interview, vocabulary builders, cooperative learning and critical thinking activities, discussion questions, unit tests and other unit activities.All of that stuff is probably true, but I'm pretty sure that if you used any critical thinking in the same room as the 16 Ruin Mist books AND a goddamn Ruin Mist educational guide you would trigger an atomic explosion. If you don't, you'll probably wish you did after you realized what you just did, you dumb fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted October 20, 2010 Share Posted October 20, 2010 :lmao: Thank you for that wonderful dissection! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Ent Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 You can’t make this up. (Apologies if posted before):I love Stanek stories competition winners.“Read why your friends, family and neighbors love their Stanek [...], and vote for your favorite stories! The entry with the most votes will win $5,000!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 I'm confused. Does Robert Stanek have any connection to the window company? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjgambino Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 For $5,000, I'll love me some Stanek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spastic Plastic Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 “Read why your friends, family and neighbors love their Stanek [...], and vote for your favorite stories! The entry with the most votes will win $5,000!”I don't know if I should laugh or cry. The only logical conclusion is this: Stanek's hundreds of split personalities have become like people of their own, and live in the imaginary Stanek's Neighborhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Scot A Ellison Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 This is easy. He's paying one person $5000 but he gets hundreds or thousands of praiseworthy blurbs he didn't write for his sockpuppets to use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosciuszko Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I bet the 5 grand winner will still just end up being Stanek, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 What are you guys talking about? It's a company that makes windows. I don't see how it's related to the author in any way, shape, or form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slim da reaper Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 What are you guys talking about? It's a company that makes windows. I don't see how it's related to the author in any way, shape, or form.Oh man you just failed your interview for the position of Promoter of the greatest living author of fantasy literature. Never miss an opportunity my man never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spastic Plastic Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 What are you guys talking about? It's a company that makes windows.Not anymore. They'll have to stop using the name of the Stanek.I believe Stanek's squad of hotmail lawyers are working on this as we speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Oh man you just failed your interview for the position of Promoter of the greatest living author of fantasy literature. Never miss an opportunity my man never.Maybe my sarcasm detector is malfunctioning. At first I thought you guys were being serious, and that it was his family's company or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I think you guys should click on the link first. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I think it was all a gag. See, the company's name is Stanek, just like the guy who wrote that one book and photocopied it 16 times. If you take it out of context, it looks like a shockingly desperate attempt by a lonely hack to generate positive reviews for his book. However, it's really only a mildly desperate attempt by a moderately-sized business to generate positive reviews for their products. No one actually believes that Stanek the "writer" actually has $5,000, or that he can find enough people who both read his book and liked it to hold a "contest". I mean, come on; we read fantasy novels so we can believe some pretty implausible stuff, but that's just too out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I think it was all a gag. See, the company's name is Stanek, just like the guy who wrote that one book and photocopied it 16 times. If you take it out of context, it looks like a shockingly desperate attempt by a lonely hack to generate positive reviews for his book. However, it's really only a mildly desperate attempt by a moderately-sized business to generate positive reviews for their products. No one actually believes that Stanek the "writer" actually has $5,000, or that he can find enough people who both read his book and liked it to hold a "contest". I mean, come on; we read fantasy novels so we can believe some pretty implausible stuff, but that's just too out there.Oh I dunno, some of this Stanek shit sounds like it could be a Gene Wolfe book. I mean the guy has hundreds of personalities that worship his core personality, plus he HAS NO LEGS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Oh, I can believe weird things about him personally; I just can't believe that he has enough fans (who aren't him) to participate in a contest, start a rally, or edit references to him into random Wikipedia articles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slim da reaper Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 ques as if they were siMaybe my sarcasm detector is malfunctioning. At first I thought you guys were being serious, and that it was his family's company or something.I think it might just be a differing sense of humour thing Cantabile :)What makes it funny for me is Robert Stanek is a rabid self-promoter, one example is the infamous photo-shopping of himself in with Brian Jacques as if they were signing books together or something haha.Edit to add: You got me chuckling about it might be his father's company or something haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I'm a little impressed by the suggestion that he's big in Burkina Faso. I wonder if anyone ever told him that simply hurling crates full of your books out of a helicopter while flying over a country doesn't technically count as a "book deal". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterbound Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 ques as if they were siI think it might just be a differing sense of humour thing Cantabile :)What makes it funny for me is Robert Stanek is a rabid self-promoter, one example is the infamous photo-shopping of himself in with Brian Jacques as if they were signing books together or something haha.Edit to add: You got me chuckling about it might be his father's company or something haha.Again, i'm no Stanek fan. But those photos seem to have been proven to be legit. Per Edelman's website (the first accuser of the lie)Update 11/18/09: Thanks to Mainer 122′s comment below, I’ve just become aware of a blog post by Stanek containing what appears to be the original of the photo below. Looks like it might be authentic after all — or at least a Photoshopped version of an authentic photo of Stanek with Brian Jacques. In which case I owe Mr. Stanek an apology, at least about the photo. I’ll reserve judgment for now about the fake reviews and web postings. (And for the record, I’ve never questioned Mr. Stanek’s military service.)Just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord O' Bones Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Just saying.You are late to this game. Stanek is bullshit. There is more than ample proof by this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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