Jump to content

Dumbest Facebook Statuses, 2


MinDonner

Recommended Posts

"Got a facial this morning! It was a total surprise! My husband is wonderful!!"

:lol:

Yes, I'm 12.

If that were my FB friend, you better believe I would have asked if he gave her a pearl necklace as well. (Because I'm 12 too.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

somtymz u jst wana smash ur head against a brick wall,my tym is now.

15 hours later we get an 'is in a relationship' update so things are probably going to get interesting again :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...this morning: "die young and make a good corpse"

My answer: "you're pretty late for the young part; and even if you weren't, as a corpse you'd suck worse than you do now"

Now I'm waiting for the flare up :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The joy of having young parents in your feed:

Child has a bad case of diarrhoea. In order to let his bum breathe a little, we let him walk around a bit without a nappie. Needless to say, that's when terror struck! I think we just arrived in Dante's first circle of Hell.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SS: I hate orange juice with pulp. I never want to have to chew my drink.

LS: So you probably wouldn't like those new drinks at KFC with the chunky stuff.

SS: No, yuck! they look disgusting

LS: You're so judgemental, have you even tried them????

SS; You just suggested it would be something I wouldn't like. GAWD remind me why are you even on my friends list.

LS: cause we're married.

JD: HACKED! Also Krushers rock.

SS: shudder

LS: Why is John on your friends list?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not a status, but a description of a high school classmate's wedding album posted on facebook. She writes this way all the time. It drives me crazy.

Once upon a time... two peopLe met, became the tRuest & best of fRiends and feLL in Love. ThRough the yeaRs togetheR, they oveRcame tRiaLs + haRdships, finding a stRongeR Love. They shaRed happiness and teaRs, good times and bad. In each otheR, they found "THE ONE" and maRRiage vows joined theiR Lives togetheR in ChRist, as theiR heaRts had aLReady been. And so theiR LOVE, descRibed as Enchanting as a FaiRytaLe & WondeRfuL as a DReam Come TRue, became a Life-Long pRomise on theiR 100th month.. 10th of OctobeR 2010 ♥

By the looks of it, it was a big, expensive fairy-tale themed wedding complete with a golden carriage. Did I say expensive? And don't people care about proper punctuation anymore? There should be a law banning people who don't care about punctuation and spelling to have and burn that much money. Or to be allowed to procreate.

Yes, I'm broke. Why do you ask?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know what you have to do, soldier.

Here you go:

"Shundnt have gotten involved Wtf was I thinkin Oh I remember He doesn' seem like the Type. So wrong like. normal 3 stikes your out God I know how to pick 'em"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another wedding related album from a different couple, Kathy and CJ. Kathy was another school classmate. She titled their prenup album "Bella and Edward."

I would like to feel sorry for the guy, but decided against it. He could have said no.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

*bump* for more Facebook stupidity!

My "serious and deep" friend has made some more additions:

"Today's words: humour and insight" someone commented on it, and she not at all pretentiously answered: "Those willing to learn are always very welcome in my classroom".

Let me just add that she is 1) not a teacher and 2) I assume the classroom referred to here was her "teachings" on Facebook.

Yesterday's wisdom was: "We are never as strong as when we feel so weak we can't take more, but still fight a bit more" and "When I live as I learn it works!" (no mention about what "works" but something clearly does!)

She's also now presenting herself as a "life philosopher" and a "global citizen" and has also started thanking God for her insights, so maybe this newfound wisdom is a result of some sort of religious awakening?

I'm sure she'll be more than willing to share her new insights, be they religious or otherwise, onto her "pupils" in the classroom that is Facebook.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lmao:

Wow. That amount of self-importance leaves me in awe, truly. I feel blessed - blessed I tell you! - to have benefited from those crumbs of wisdom she saw fit to bestow upon the world. And if that "University of Facebook" stuff doesn't end up paying off for her, I can see a lucrative career ahead in writing captions for those generic Hallmark cards with pictures of angels and sunsets on. *firm nod*

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today a friend posted:

I think I'm giving up on "Game of Thrones" it's just... too much.

He means the book which I recommended. I'm very upset about this, how do I convince him not to give up?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...