Boskone Reports and Rumours

[zakalwe7]

Sounds fantastic guys. Nice summary Coco. Gotta love all the Randyll Tarly lust.

Looking forward to LA even more now.

[Lany Freelove Cassandra]

LA baby... I will show you the pain - every organ, orifice, and oratory will be throbbing and bloody. Worldcons are F-U-N, fun! When you put out, you get in, or something like that. Boskone sounded fun.

Now I really can't wait for LA

Awesome report. Wish I could have made it. Brings back fond memories of wild army parties where four or more might have shared the couch's pull out bed. (of course, pictures should NEVER be taken of the sleeping arrangements, you never know where those will end up---one day when you're married with a child and now respectable some dude says, "hey I know you, my wife has a picture of you in bed with 2 guys. they were both alseep and you looked like you had conquered them both")

X-Ray, the pics are sweet. Can't wait to see more.

[Stego]

Full report in process...... but I just have to say that I will never allow pictures to be taken of me when I'm that drunk again.

My fucking zipper is down in the 'manly' one.

Zeus.

[Filippa Eilhart]

is it?

*goes to check*

[RaceBannon42]

I just want to add that Coco let me caress his flowing golden tresses. That was so Hawt.

[Xray the Enforcer]

Stego -- you can run, mofo, but you can't hide. I only wish I coulda gotten even more pics, up to and including the Khal Drogo moment. Instead, me and Mr. X left the party fairly early because we knew Coco and Stilgar were gonna be in NO SHAPE to drive back south.

Can somebody help me out, though -- CDoT? I can't for the life of me think of who this (I can't even parse what the damned username is supposed to be. Yes, I am stupid. Next complaint?)

Oh, and Bronn. I got mangier, believe me. That's why I need the GIMP.

Mr. X and I decided that next year, we're sure as shit going to get a room at the hotel. Free lodging is awesome and all, but I wanna stumble to bed loaded, not negotiate a cab ride when it's minus 1 zillion degrees outside.

[Odie]

Aww, Coco doesn't look like Grissom :cry:

My heart is broken.

[Xray the Enforcer]

Cave Dweller of Thenn, mini afro, young chap, college age, always looked at me like I was going to strange him.

Thanks, Coco. I have a picture of him as well. (he's sort of in the background behind GoN). I'll post it later when I've the chance for creative cropping. And Coco -- everyone thought you were gonna strangle them. anything to banish the dread black syphilis...

[Cadwofth]

Cave Dweller of Thenn, mini afro, young chap, college age, always looked at me like I was going to strange him.

Oh come on dude, I was scared for my life all frigging weekend.

[Yagathai]

In brevis:

I roll into Boston after assorted flight delays, pay way too freakin' much for the cab and find out where the party is. I believe my words of greeting were "Where all de white wimmin at?". The Stegos, GoN, Daj, CDoT and Pod are already there ahead of me. The bathtub is full of beer and we have about a dozen (no exaggeration) bottles of incredibly shitty locally distilled vodka, plus some Stoli, Jameson's and Bailey's, hidden behind the counter where the hoi polloi can't get to it. I begin drinking.

I order pizza. I drink some more. Snacks arrive and we set-up for the party. I am the snackmaster! Some people go off to a panel or something. I stay in the hotel room with GoN and some other people that aren't as pretty as her or me and continue to imbibe.

The party happens. Despite wannabe-SMOFfers and plushies and DaveAx, we have a good time anyways. I meet a bunch of fun people and re-meet Alchemist, who somehow remembered me from the year before. At this point I've stopped drinking the good stuff and switched to the swill that we're serving the masses -- a punch consisting of shitty vodka, limeade and triple-sec, if I recall correctly. I begin to flirt aggressively with several of the attractive women present. Frisco cockblocks me like a mofo. I vow to do something about it.

We outlast all the other parties, including the "exclusive" Tor party. They give us all of their beer. Most of it is crap, but there is some very nice extra-spicy ginger beer which I promptly claim for my own. One of the legitimate uses of crappy vodka is making a Moscow Mule, and for that you need the really spicy stuff. I get lectured by Mike Resnick on something or other. I see Bruce and Kara Coville and invite them over. They say they'll come to tomorrow's party. Some guy named George is hanging around and people are taking his picture and stuff. Whatever.

The party breaks up and I stop drinking, mostly. Kind-of. OK, I don't. I do, however, get dibs on the couch, so I don't have to share a bed with RaceBannon, CDoT and Coco, aka "The BwB Manwich". Coco calls me Khal Drogo. I laugh at him because he's feeling really sick.

A couple of short hours later I tag along with the Stegos back to their place, may their house never fall, and take a shower. Then I take Coco's badge because he's out looking for a hospital, and that's what Randall Tarly would do. I browse the art show, find a couple of pieces of art that I want to bid on, and go back to the room. That is, after all, where all the beer is. We do our best to clean the room and get ready for that night.

There's panels and stuff, none of which I attend. I meet a few members of the BwB that I hadn't before, including the inimitable Xray and Mr. X and their bottles of high-quality tipple. I fall immediately in love with Xray, and plot to have her husband bumped off -- but then he turns out to be a really nice guy, and he mixes me a nice manhattan and a martini which, while a little dry to my taste, is nonetheless excellent, so I call the hit off. In gratitiude, Xray offers to send me a bottle of Junipero.

Saturday's party was a lot more rockin', and plus since I managed to convince My Sweet Sister (not actually my sister) to fly in from Philly on the spur-of-the-moment, the Philly BwB is representin'. Also, I put her in the path of the cockblocking goliath that is Frisco, and pulled some aggro off of the fine ladies with whom I was trying to make some time. Awwww yeah. That's what you call strategic thinking, right there.

That night came the Puke Ride, upon which I'm sure Stego can better elaborate. Let's just say that it took a loooong time to get back to Chez Stego where we proceeded to crash for... about three hours.

The next day I rescheduled my flight so that I could catch the BwB dinner with George. That was a lot of fun. My sashimi was delicious, and the cocktail I had was quite interesting. During the day, except for a George signing I mostly just layed around and tried to recover from the last couple of days. Padraig was kind enough to let us crash in his room that night, and the next day it was home again, home again, jiggety jig.

[Regina]

Hey, great pics X-Ray! BTW, if I look bored or whatever in that picture, I'm really just cold (as I was sitting too close to the draft from the AC, but was too lazy to move). At least you didn't capture me on film during one of my more, um, animated moments. Like when I announced to half the room that I was not yet f***ing drunk enough to put up with the Furry next door giving dominatrix classes in whip weilding to a 7 year old girl (where were that kid's parents, anyhow?)!

[Xray the Enforcer]

Furry next door giving dominatrix classes in whip weilding to a 7 year old girl (where were that kid's parents, anyhow?)!

One can never start too young.

I have a cute (but very dark) pic of you and your Mister after y'all won that book. If I can render it visible and good, I'll post. Same with my George Raffle Pics (I didn't want to blind the man with the flash -- what if he loused up my number!!)

ETA: my con update will be tonight, although the only truly harrowing story I'll have pertains to cleaning up the party room bathroom (and the multitudes of handwashing that followed. There was NO WAY I was gonna let the world know that the BwB are a band of happy seat-piddlers.) :sick: :sick:

[GoN]

Con Report

Thursday

One pm is a good wake up time, isn't it? Lady Stego had to work, so me and Daj and Stego went on in to the Con and volunteered like no ones business.

Before that we stop at an alcohol super store and buy way too much shitty vodka and decent beer.

Stego and Daj really know how to handle lots of poles. At about 6:30 I broke off and headed off to the train station to pick up cdot. Somehow we managed not to find each other in there for about half an hour, but eventually hooked up and headed back to the hotel where much talk was had about nothing and GRRM showed up.

We had a nice dinner at legal seafood, where we dicussed the pros and cons of movies such as Troy, King Arthur, and Alexander. George thinks Brad Pitt was a good achilles, Daj disagrees.

The group of us ( GRRM, me, daj, cdot, stego, ladystego, pod - I may be forgetting someone?) meander back to the hotel lobby where a bery nice Charles Stross comes up to us. He wanted to grab a drink, but sadly we had to go as Lady Stego still had work the next day and it was already well past midnight. This lead to many weekend discussions over how charlie took out rejection of him. Sorry Charles!

Serenity at ChezStego and SLEEP!

Friday

Up at ten am and off to the airport for DaveAx and Racebannon. Race is getting in at 11:50 oh noes! Oh wait, race missed his plane. n00b. Me and CDoT track down Pod and make him listen to Tarly worship while Pod shows us up and eats all healthy in the foodcourt. Preparations for the party begins. We check into this smoking suite on the 25th floor with the best view ever from 2 sides, and me and Cdot go hit the grocery store for soda and crap. The grocery store delivers for free- yay! the guys have changed suites while we are gone- boo! The original suite we were assigned was not on the party floor so we had to move to a still decent but not as smoking suite.

Furniture gets moved around, beer, gets iced, shitty vodka punches get made. CDoT becomes an Ice Bitch on theWall for the first time ever.

We had some great conversations with lots of people, bwb and non bwb. 2 guys who brought us beer from the Tor party stick out, Eugene and Marlin. Lots of fun.

We get to greet Cocomaan with rousing cries of What would Randyll tarly do? which I think amused him.

Ah, the sleeping arrangements.

Me: " Oh, Lady Stego, your butt touched mine!"

Yags: " You have 2 hours to stop that."

Saturday

Not enough sleep. Gaaaahhhh! Respectable guys like Racebannon and Daj got up and went to 'readings' and 'panels' and 'signings'. I tried to sleep until noon. I have no clue what I did saturday afternoon except it probably involved Randyll Tarly and what he would or would not do.

The party was awesome, I was not behind the bar, so I could wander around with Cdot, coco, stilgar and discuss really meaningful things like what if Victarion and Randyll Tarly were in a fight. Had a really great conversation about the books with Mr. Regina, which was awesome. Watched various BwBers pet the whip weilding kitty. Best part of the night was her giving Stilgar a little spank and then him smacking her ass with much gusto. It was so awesome. Stego was little bit tipsy. Just a lil bit. And he also completely pwned one of the Dabo brothers in front of George, much to George's amusement. ELVEN DRUID!

Went on a field trip with cdot and coco looking for some more medicine for coco. College convention was checking in, so the mall was PACKED with coeds. Cocc strolled along, intoning, " Bring your daughters"

Sleeping arrangements were again interesting, if not quite as much as the precious night. Stego's kick ass giant of a cousin stayed sober and drove a contingent back to ChezStego for sleeping and showering. Stilgar proceeded to verbally pwn each of us individually, and of course for the quote of the Con: " Sometimes I think you just don't take D&D seriously enough!"

Sunday

" Heeeeyyy... did you fuck a cat?" Its a wonder relic did not hang up on you then and there, coco. But goddamn that was some funny shit. and without it we might not have know that Balefont's phone was missing.

Lunch, sad farewells. Cleaning of con suite. Moving into Pod's room. What's a con without chilling in pod's room? Low key and low brow conversations. More sad farewells. Dinner with george ( although we ended up walking all over hell's half acre looking for a place to feed us). We ended up at a second legal seafood. GRRM commented that he was having more trouble with the Dunk and Egg story than he had anticipated. And he discussed the other things that have already been covered here. There was some football discussion, and the first mention of us being referred to as George's Cult.

Good fucking times.

Stego. You rule. Don't you dare try to duck out from the compliment. Without your stepping up here, none of this would have happened. This was one of the best cons I have ever been to.

Lady Stego- is a fucking natural on the door, working the party, having a good time, and then getting up to go to work. I am in awe of her. She is so funny and warm and hard working. She pwns all us n00bs.

My Sweet Sister- your costume was fucking awesome, and it was so great to meet you.

cdot- dude, I don't have to say a word to you. you know I love you

Yags was as fucking dead pan funny as expected, racebannon was a super nice guy- even nicer than the last time I met him, Stilgar- keep pwning us all, coco- get well, had a blast with you. Pod, you are a rock. frisco- The Iceman Commeth and not even coked up

I am fading too fast to complete this but thanks to everyone who attended and help made this the best con I have ever been to. I wish I could have spent more time with some of you, but I guess that's what future cons are for. There is tons of shit I am missing, and people too. But I am jetlagged like hell and suffering from a serious lack of sleep this weekend - go figure Hopefully someone else can fill in where I left off

[Stego]

It’s taken me days to recover my wits, voice, and sobriety from Boskone. I’m of the school of thought that states you get what you put into something, and I believe this past weekend has once again proven the theory.

On Saturday night I asked George to tell Parris that I firmly believed that the BwB upheld our stellar reputation at Boskone, and so I tell it to all of you. We certainly did our best; both in volunteering with the convention and with our memorable and now famous parties. Here is my account of it all.

Having arrived the night previously, Dajamieson (Jamie) and Ghost of Nymeria (Vanessa) were somewhat rested and ready to go on Thursday. Our first stop was the local alcoholic’s paradise known as Patriot Liquors, which is a veritable superstore of spirits. To say buying that much booze and beer was fun is to spit in the ocean. Suffice it to say, I felt in the grip of a mighty montage scene from an 80’s movie preparing for the ‘big night.’ We spent about 8000 dollars.

The three of us then headed in to the convention area to try and find a way to volunteer. We arrived before NESFA organizers did, and waited for them there.

When the vastly unorganized organizers arrived, we proceeded to unload the truck with all of the supplies and books and art show supplies. Jamie and Vanessa were absolutely vital in this undertaking, while my dumb ass merely ran over my own foot with a cart. Not to sound the chauvinist, but I chuckled to see Vanessa take heavy items that the big bad NESFA men shied away from. We unloaded the truck in record time, according to all present. In fact, when George arrived for the annual after-set-up buffet, it had already been over for two hours.

As soon as the work was complete, Pod appeared. Coincidence?

Maureen (my wife) and CDOT (Ben) had also arrived by this time and I believe it was the six of us that took GRRM out to dinner at Legal Seafood. There’s never a bad meal at that particular restaurant, and I believe we all had a good time. George made fun of me for my now-patented girly blue drinks, but Jaime leapt to my defense and drank a couple of them himself. At some point during the night, Cthulhu rose from the depths of my eldritch girly blue drink and a new cocktail was born…… Non-Euclidean Punch. (While it was merely a fried calamari perched on the lip of my glass, what is a science fiction convention without silly leaps of drunken imagination?)

Also on Thursday night, we found out that the lovely Parris was unable to make the trip out to Boston. The reasons we were given had something to do with moving house and possible influenza, but we quite rightly ascertained that the situation was too convenient. Somehow Parris had learned that the Legion of Doom were threatening the Olympics in Italy, and she sprang into action to quash their dastardly plot. As the world still exists, I can only believe she has succeeded.

When we returned from dinner it was quite late and we needed to get going, mostly because Maureen had to work in the morning and she was driving. Right as we ascertained this, we were speaking with Charlie Stross, (one of my absolute favorite authors) and he asked us to have a pint with him. My responsibility lying with my wife’s health, we had to decline. It became our running joke all weekend that we had crushed Mr. Stross’s soul, and we were now his arch-enemies. I don’t know how true this was, but he never made it out to our parties. (And I’m pretty sure I saw him throw a rock at Pod)

We (Jamie, Vanessa, Ben, Maureen, and I) drove back to our house and watched Serenity. I’m pretty sure I didn’t make it to the end.

On Friday morning, we got a late start. We were scheduled to pick up RaceBannon from the airport at 11:50 and DaveAx at 12:30. I dropped Vanessa and Ben off at the hotel on the way to the airport, and Jaime and I went on to pick up Race (Steve). As we are walking towards the gate he is scheduled to arrive in, he calls and informs me that he missed his flight.

That Bastard!

Heh. Well, we’re here to pick up Dave in just a few minutes anyway, so no big deal.

Except for the fact that due to high winds, Dave’s plane is not allowed to land for two hours.

So I’m cussing and Jaime is laughing at me as Dave’s goofy ass stumbles from the plane. We head back to the hotel and first stop for some lunch on the food court. (Where we….eventually….. meet up with Ben, Vanessa, and Pod.)

So now it’s time to check in to the party suite. The reservation is awaiting us and we get a corner suite. When we go to see the room, it is fantastic. It is a corner room on the 25th floor, with a spectacular unimpeded view of the Back Bay, The Charles River, and Cambridge. There is a kitchen alcove perfect for the party bar, and there is tons of space and sitting room.

Vanessa and Ben go out to get food, while Jaime, Pod, Frisco, (who has magically appeared after some volunteer work at the convention) and I go to hang up party flyers and transport to alcohol to the room. (Through a very large and upscale shopping mall, btw)

So we begin to hang signs, and run into Neil from Clarkesworld and invite him to the party. Sorceress of Neverwords, whom I sort of recognized but could not place, walks by me and starts staring and laughing. (Which is always great for one’s ego)

As we are hanging signs, we are informed in no uncertain terms that the 25th floor is *NOT* a party floor, and we may not have a party in our suite.

What the fuck?

So Jaime and I went down to straighten the problem out. After being informed repeatedly there was nothing that could be done to help us, we finally received a ‘suite’ on the party floor. To say it was a downgrade is to insult downgrades.

We resolve to overcome and make it work.

Vanessa, pimp girl that she is, has the food and supplies delivered from the grocery store. No sullying her own hands, no sir. While we await the delivery, Frisco, Ben, Pod and I go to get the mountains of alcohol out of my car.

As I stated before, because of where I was parked, we needed to carry all of this beer and liquor through Copley Square Plaza. (a mall) Due to the sheer volume of what we had purchased, we’d need a few trips, even with four guys, and so we took a luggage rack from the hotel. To conserve space, or whatever, Ben rode on the rack while Frisco pushed. Needless to say, they drew many a curious gaze as they cut through the tide of shoppers.

That was nothing however, when compared to the stares we got while transporting a mountain of alcohol. Frisco certainly made it look pimp.

Party #1:

By this time we were joined by Yagathai and Racebannon and even Sorceress of Nevershowupfortheparty. Yags greeted me with “Hey Stego, I have good news and bad news. The good news is I just ordered pizza. The bad news is you can’t have any.†Race had apparently caught a later plane, and Sorc just showed up to say hello for a bit. (She infamously did not come to Friday night’s party.)

As 9:00pm came and went and there was very little activity, I wondered if perhaps we’d have no guests and the party would be a failure. So I sent my wife into the hall to recruit partygoers.

That’s how Neil from Clarkesworld found us, so I have no regrets sending her out. However, she was indiscriminate in her invites and she was also responsible for Flounder, SMoFfer lady, and the Australian from Mississippi who was defending the Confederate flag, and then had a hissy fit and called us all assholes as he broke into tears and fled the party.  He was my favorite.

Coco and Stilgar showed up, and it was great to meet the stoner looking dude, and always great to see Stilgar. But Stil could not stay for long, and had to go visit his family. (He’s local) Later on X-Ray and Mr. X showed up, but Friday night was all about Vanessa on the bar. (Whether it be serving drinks or dancing topless)

Green Armadillo introduced himself to me. He’s the LJer with the amazing run down of the Vericon skits who I invited to come. It was great to meet him, and also to have him join our ranks in the BwB and on the forums. Also in that category is Kristen, aka Alchemist. I recall meeting her last year at our party, I think, but it was great to see her again, and she helped out quite a bit with the bar on Saturday night. At the end of the weekend, the count was three new BwB’ers; pretty fucking good if you ask me.

Mike Resnick and Ken MacLeod graced our party with their presence, and George had an interesting conversation with Resnick about ‘the old days.’ Something tells me there isn’t much else Mr. Resnick talks about.

I know I am forgetting stuff. The reason for that will be explained in due time, I think.

All in all, the party was amazing. What disconcerted me most about it, (and the weekend in general) was all of the people I knew. I’m not talking about BwB members here, I mean everyone. I’m becoming immersed in fandom. Pity me.

I talked with George quite a bit on Friday night, but it was a party and we tried to keep it to topics like football, fandom, and other authors books. Jamie and I put the full court press on George to check out R. Scott Bakker, that I do recall.

When the TOR Books party wound down, we got all of their leftover beer. It was quite a substantial amount and I’d thank them, but I thought at the time, and I still strongly believe, that the beer is our due after TOR unleashing the likes of Terry Goodkind upon us.

So yes, we drank beer paid for by sales of Goodkind and Jordan books. It might well be tainted, and we just may all die. Pray for us.

As for dirty secret hook-up stories, I can’t say for sure, but I’m prreeeeeetty sure I saw Yagathai making out with Dave Axler.

Friday night was uneventful, except that I slept with both Lady Stego and Vanessa. *exhales on fingernails and polishes them on shirt*

When Coco called Yags ‘Khal Drogo’ I almost pissed myself. I got a cute little picture of Ben, Steve, and Will sleeping together all cuddled up. It was adorable.

I think we slept for about 14 seconds, woke, and promptly had to go home for a shower and shave. I think I stepped on Pod’s head on the way out.

End of Friday……….To Be Continued.

***Odie, I’m sorry I’ve been so sleepy and haven’t emailed you. We never received the banner, nor did we receive a delivery slip. There was no one here, but when we checked on our return….nothing. Vanessa, Jaime, and my wife can vouch for this.

[Stego]

I just KNEW I'd forget someone.....sorry Regina and husband! In my defense, I'm short a few brain cells.

[Odie]

Stego,

That's okay. Annoying, but okay. Confusing because GoN said she was there at the time when they claimed to deliver it, but I'm not saying you're lying.

I think I could do it better a second time around anyway... it was the first one that I did "from scratch" if you will, and I think it'll be better all around if I take another stab at it.

[Cadwofth]

Cuddled up, my ass. Besides, I slept on the floor. Must have been the guilt from taking your spot in that sandwich.

Also, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha at the top ten facts. I think you got all of them, Coco.

[DaveAx]

As for dirty secret hook-up stories, I can’t say for sure, but I’m prreeeeeetty sure I saw Yagathai making out with Dave Axler.

Yags and I are "just neighbors." Honest!

[GoN]

"That's okay. Annoying, but okay. Confusing because GoN said she was there at the time when they claimed to deliver it, but I'm not saying you're lying."

What time was that, odie? which day?

[Green Armadillo]

Random things your various posts reminded me of....

My Sweet Sister- your costume was fucking awesome, and it was so great to meet you.

The guy holding the camera to take a picture of her and George said "Say Incest!" George frowned and said that he doesn't look like Jaime and is really built more like Robert. He paused for a moment, thinking through the health implications of that for a moment. "Oh, no, you're going to poison me!"

So I sent my wife into the hall to recruit partygoers.

That’s how Neil from Clarkesworld found us, so I have no regrets sending her out. However, she was indiscriminate in her invites and she was also responsible for Flounder, SMoFfer lady, and the Australian from Mississippi who was defending the Confederate flag, and then had a hissy fit and called us all assholes as he broke into tears and fled the party. 

I was present for this and I feel obliged to come to the defense of the awesome Lady Stego. Her exact instructions were to "Go see if you can get 10 people into the party in 10 minutes." I'm not sure if her Lord Husband quite predicted that she would holler down the hall at random people, but she did as she was told admirably.

Other juicy tidbits:

If I recall, the Goat pioneered sitting on the window ledge and drawing the curtain shut in order to create a make-out nest. Regina and I were quite amused as she at one point had two guys in there with her.

And one more amusing exchange. I was chatting with Stilgar when the jailbait Harry Potter RP'ers wandered in on Saturday.

Jailbait RP'er: Hi, I'm Ron and this is Hermione.

Stilgar: Wow, your names really are that, you're not some *bleeping* RP'ers?

Jailbait RP'ers: *are pwned*