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Goodkind 51: Kahl Scratch Fever


Myshkin

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I've never actually visited these Terry Goodkind threads before, but what goes on in here anyway? I got linked here from an article on the Wertzone.

Well, we read all of Tairy's books. Then we discuss how much we don't like them. In detail. Like crazy fanatical detail. Then we read the next book. And we discuss that too. In detail. Because we don't like them. This has been going on for many years. Because we don't like them. Or Tairy.

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I've never actually visited these Terry Goodkind threads before, but what goes on in here anyway? I got linked here from an article on the Wertzone.

Never mind Goodomens. He is not a member of the church of the latter day lemmings but an embassador of the Yeard. As such we welcome him to our service but the holy sacraments are lost to him. Our holy mother of goates preserves all Lemming art on her website http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.nl/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html read and be saved.
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I am sorry if my above essay was to pedantic and I realize that after 51 threads it is likely that most people have a fair grasp of objectivist philosophy. However, I also realize that there are many people who do not realize that Mr. Goodkind is the WORLDS BEST SELLING OBJECTIVIST AUTHOR (at least according to Mr. Goodkind).

No criticism was intended.

One of the things we know about Mr. Goodkind is that his ability to set a scene and bring it alive with his diction and word choice is extraordinary. Indeed, when you begin readng the words of Mr. Goodkind your gaze is held to the page, an outside observer might almost believe that the reader had become a hawk, or an eagle, or even a velociraptor. Indeed the very first words of Mr. Goodkinds series are "it was an odd looking vine." Read that again, now, hold that image in your head. I am certain it is identical to mine, the level of detail, the choice of words why you can practically smell and see the forest around Richard.

You see a namble cock too?

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Well, we read all of Tairy's books. Then we discuss how much we don't like them. In detail. Like crazy fanatical detail. Then we read the next book. And we discuss that too. In detail. Because we don't like them. This has been going on for many years. Because we don't like them. Or Tairy.

We don't read them. I (and the venerable Mad Moose before me) read them. Everyone else agrees to make nice noises at my (early) funeral.

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Goodkind was my dragonlance. The first fantasy i read, picking it only by cover. Got no problem admitting i once liked it, especially the first one, and on/off from there.(Even then i hated the midle ones with the sound sound statue and all the half siblings).

When Phantom came out I realized my reading tastes had changed pretty dramatically, but i read it and confesser to finish off the story line, chuckling most the way.

Lo9 onward i left to others.

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Goodkind was my dragonlance. The first fantasy i read, picking it only by cover. Got no problem admitting i once liked it, especially the first one, and on/off from there.(Even then i hated the midle ones with the sound sound statue and all the half siblings).

When Phantom came out I realized my reading tastes had changed pretty dramatically, but i read it and confesser to finish off the story line, chuckling most the way.

Lo9 onward i left to others.

I liked Goodkind a lot at first too. When I first read it, I thought Wizards First Rule was the best fantasy book ever. I think I was a freshman in college at the time. Maybe a sophomore. Starting with the second book (I think) I started buying all his stuff as soon as it came out in first-run hardcovers. He's the only author I ever bought hardcovers for back them.

My breaking point was when Richard killed all the pacifists. I honestly don't remember which book that was. I bought the next one (but I waited until the paperback came out) and couldn't even finish it. It was complete shit, IMO. I've never picked up a Goodkind book since.

Sadly, I can't even claim that he was my gateway drug into fantasy. My progression went something like this:

Forgotten Realms --> Terry Brooks --> David Eddings --> Terry Goodkind --> GGK --> GRRM

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If you liked WFR, you would love TFC. Real Walkie-Talkie.

If you say so. I'll take that into consideration, but I doubt I'll ever be picking up another Goodkind book. He was already starting to lose me even before the whole "slaughtering of the pacifists" thing.

I thought the first 3-4 books were all really entertaining. At some point though, it seemed like Goodkind started just stretching the story out for no good reason. I assume it was because he was a very successful best-selling author and more books in the series meant more money for him and his publisher. I remember it seemed pretty blatant to me at the time. I was thinking, "What is he doing? We just had a whole book that did nothing to advance the overall story of the series." And then he went really political and he just lost me.

This was all 10-plus years ago, I guess. So I may be a little bit off on a couple details, but those were my overall feelings. They haven't changed, and they're likely not going to.

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The first few books were entertaining because Richard walked around being a self-righteous dick (see what I did there?) and killing people. In other words, there was a lot of action, both in terms of violence and sex. And the line between them, while blurred, existed.

Later books developed an annoying habit of Randian long speeches that Terry thinks he can write really well, paired with increasingly obvious political euphemisms (like the evil Clintons) and increasingly stupid and random scenarios. Plus, after the sixth time that Dick gets abducted and Kahlan gets almost raped and Dick whips out a magical way to save the world despite having no fucking clue what he's doing, everything kind of loses the tension and drama.

ETA: The one truly entertaining aspect of the books starting in book 4 or so was the irony of Richard's simultaneous beliefs that 1. reason ruled the world and everything should be based on reason and 2. his magic and his role as savior depended on his acting purely by instinct.

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Will the sequel to Lo9's ever come out? I found it so laughably hilarious that he made a big deal about venturing away from the SoT novels and doing something completely different except it was not different, just SoT set in modern times.

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This happened only about 4 hours ago. My colleague was talking to someone about going on vacation and reading books on an e reader. He said he like to read al sorts of books but read a really nice fantasy series of about 16 books (yes, we all know where this is headed but because he was talking about a 16 volume series I didnt think much of it and only listened with one ear). All of a sudden he says to me; you like fantasy books too, dont ya? I say; yes, but I prefer SF. I was just planning on telling him that Bakker is my current favorite fantasy writer etc, etc. When he asked me if I could name the title of that 16 book series. Something about elves and goblins.....The guy he was talking with asked him if he meant he read books about gnooms http://img.literatuurplein.nl/blobs/ORIGB/616960/1/1.jpg. We all laugh (all the men laughed) and the guy exits. My colleague cant stand that he cant remember the series name and starts looking it up.............

After a minute he finds the series he was looking for...........

I couldnt help it. We got in a pretty heated debate about why Badwrite is an asshole and I even made him read sandstormreviews.......needless to say the admosphere got a little chillier.......

It felt like I told him Santa Claus doesnt exists.

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Ok, I'm back, and all caught up. Let me thank Tormund from the bottom of my thing for sacrificing his sanity in the name of the Greater Good. You are a true People's Hero, Tormund. We will name a park after you.

He's now a character and a short chapter has been written about him.

My only dream in life is to have a cameo in a Goodkind novel. Terry could write about my feathery hair and bulging codpiece. And my username is Russian (and public domain) so he'd have no problem turning me into an evil commie. Please pass this along to Mr. Goodkind.

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