What is your most crackpot theory? v.2

[Juan_Snow]

My crackpot theory is that Littlefinger and Varys are actually R'hllor and the Great Other. I haven't decided which one is which yet.

[rmholt]

Tyrion can't be a chimera unless one of the parents has brown or black eyes (dominant gene). Joanna and Tywin green eyes, Aerys purple, all recessive.

Assuming George is doing real biological science.

He's a little sketchy on science since hair burns hot enough to give the head 3rd degree burns yet insists Dany is not fire-resistant in the Pit.

[chris999]

I'd love that, and I could see it happening with the right circumstances.

I am hoping that the truth is that Jon Snow really is Eddard Stark's son, and a true follower of the Old Gods, and strong blood of the First Men. I think that the First Men are still important, especially the Pact signed at God's Eye, in front of the Old Gods.

It would be cool if Jon Snow dies, but returns to life to become the Stark Nightsking, King of the Others and the true King of Winter.

The Old Gods...The Children OTF, Bran Stark (Bran the Builder?)

VS...

Ryllor, the Fire God (light?)

Led by Azor Ahai (Stannis?) with his mighty Lightbringer, and Melissandre whom Azor Ahai chooses to be his chief magic Priestess, along with all the other Red Priests/Priestesses.

And 3 bad ass dragons led by Daneryes(sp.), Mother of Dragons..(Blah Blah) along with 2 other Dragon riders. Presumably Targaryan blood is needed... which is the Valaryan blood of "fire"

(opposite of Stark blood, which is First Men "ice")

I even think that The ancient Valaryan Empire attacked ancient Westeros 5000 years ago, while The First Men and the Children of the Forest were the rulers (before the Andal Invasion). Anyway, I think that is how Valaria got destroyed, by the COTF using Old Gods magic.

[y ddraig]

I have another crackpot theory... Really crackpot this time.

Jaime , Cirsei and Tyrion are all the children of Tywin... And Aerys II. Aerys seduced / raped / coerced Joanna Lannister twice. For whatever biological or magical reason, both Aerys' and Tywin's semen were involved in their births: the first time it lead to twins, the second time it lead to a chimera (a brilliant idea I read in another thread), explaining Tyrion's different eyes.

Remarks: a chimera is a creature with a three-part body and three heads: goat (?)... Dragon and lion. In this case, Tyrion can still be the true son of Tywin, as stated by his aunt. Some Targaryens did have green eyes, as reminded by Dany in AGOT ('opal eyes'). In Greek mythology, Chimera was daughter of Typhoon... 'Stormborn'.

Hah, I beat you to it.

http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/58328-why-i-dont-think-tyrions-targaryen/page__st__20

CLEARLY we're on to something. :D

[Nymeria's]

Hodor is a secret Targaryen and his name is the key to unlocking the secret of the Wall--which is the lair of the hibernating, hidden Ice Dragon. He has to say Hodor 1 billion times to unlock the door to the lair and awaken the Dragon. Jon will mount it and battle Dany and her Dragons for Westeros and the Iron Throne. After Jon wins, he marries Dany and they rule Westeros together. Arya becomes the first female Kingsguard.

[Lord Hound]

All of the shit that went down was just Bran's dream while he's in a coma. When he finally wakes up, he remembers what Jamie did. He tells his father, Ned tells the King. Stannis comes forward to tell Jon Arryn's discovery. King has Cersei, Jamie and the bastards killed. Eddard becomes Hand. Gendry, gets legitimized and becomes Heir Apparent.

Most importantly, Arya never met Hot Pie.

[Nymeria's]

All of the shit that went down was just Bran's dream while he's in a coma. When he finally wakes up, he remembers what Jamie did. He tells his father, Ned tells the King. Stannis comes forward to tell Jon Arryn's discovery. King has Cersei, Jamie and the bastards killed. Eddard becomes Hand. Gendry, gets legitimized and becomes Heir Apparent.

Most importantly, Arya never met Hot Pie.

If this is true, I will hunt down GRRM and make his eat all the books I bought. Not the waking up from the dream...please, by the Seven...not that!!

[Pod The Impaler]

More like a crackpot prediction:

Ser Barristan becomes His Magnificence Barristan Selmy, King of [formerly] Slavers Bay, First Of That Noble Name

War begins again versus Yunkai and the other slaver forces. The Harpies within and without are defeated, and after their treachery and atrocities, the elite Masters are put to the sword by their freed slaves.

But Queen Danaerys never returns - she plunges on towards Volantis and points west, with new conquests in mind.

It is left to the noble Barristan to pick up the pieces after the war, with the Shavepate and Brazen Beasts helping him to usher in a new era. Barristan teaches and creates a cadre of honourable knights, abolishes slavery forever. Then he dies of old age in Mereen, never seeing Westeros again, but having finally been able to serve a king who was honourable, brave, and worthy of power - himself.

[dragontamer]

All of the shit that went down was just Bran's dream while he's in a coma. When he finally wakes up, he remembers what Jamie did. He tells his father, Ned tells the King. Stannis comes forward to tell Jon Arryn's discovery. King has Cersei, Jamie and the bastards killed. Eddard becomes Hand. Gendry, gets legitimized and becomes Heir Apparent.

Most importantly, Arya never met Hot Pie.

Nice! :bowdown: Actually ADOS isn't about season Summer but a wolf dream of Summer, Bran will wake up and nothing has happened... LIKE!! :drool:

[Ser Thomas Derpingham]

My crackpot theory is that Littlefinger and Varys are actually R'hllor and the Great Other. I haven't decided which one is which yet.

This would be exactly like one of those Neil Gaiman books, where the Gods walk amongst Mankind, and disguise themselves as regular things such as stockbrokers, taxi drivers, and whatnot.

[chrisdaw]

I theorise the Tyrells/LF plot to poison Joff wasn't followed through. Reason being sweet innocent Margaery (book Margaery not Natalie Dormer) wasn't in on it, and nor was that oaf Mace, who, true to oafish form threw a spanner in the works by way of his wedding gift. In a classic double bluff, Margaery drinking from that same chalice has very real implications. Alternative suspects include:

Tyrion - A known murderer by way of poison. Has admitted his guilt outside of court. Witnesses attest to having seen him do the deed. Had previously threatened the victims life. Fantasized about killing the victim. Disposed of the evidence by knocking over the chalice. Had been drinking heavily on the occasion. Had many motivations, including multiple confrontations with the victim during the occasion. A trial by the faith, to our knowledge, has never been wrong before. As for the issue of us being privy to his inner thoughts and him not having believed himself to have done the deed, much has been spoken about the "unreliable narrator", yet to my knowledge there's only been the one known incident of such which many believe to have just been an actual mistake, this however would be a far more fitting use of this writing technique and may have been long planned and hence why the "unreliable narrator" was ever offered up in the first place. Reasons for a possible lack of reliableness in this case may include Tyrion not wanting to admit to himself what he had done and what he has become, afterall some men may perfer to live a lie than admit a hard truth, that Cersei was right and/or he was extremely drunk and unsure himself.

Oberyn - Known poison expert. His reasons are many, and conveniently listed in the text in his conversation with Tyrion. And not that he needed it, if he were the poisoner then fighting on Tyrion's behalf would have an added incentive besides killing Gregor, as he'd be able to save the man who is wrongly accused of his crime. Perhaps a sort of sweet irony. Poisoned chalice may have also knocked out Margaery, and he has no love for the Tyrells.

Lady Taena - Suspected spy of unkown master, conspicuous presence, eager to lay the blame at anothers feet.

Poisoned pie by unknown poisoner - The wine from the chalice is not the only item digested by the victim and may not have been poisoned at all. The victim also ingested a piece of pie mere moments from when he also ingested wine from the chalice. This pie was not his own, it was his uncle Tyrion's. The victim may not have been the intended target, rather Tyrion may have been. Tyrion has no shortage of enemies, why there has already been an attempt on his life for reasons unknown, presumably by malicious order. The victim may have inadvertantly stumbled into an attempt on his uncles life and unfortunately for him, lost his own. Possibilities are near endless, and include:

Cersei - Clear hatred of Tyrion. Fears Tyrion. Wants Tyrion dead. Has ample access to the kitchens and the staff are answerable to her. Has the means to obtain poison. AlwayssStuffs everything up and so such an event would be true to form. Another possible case of unreliable narrator, unwilling to admit what she has done.

Tywin - Hates Tyrion. Tyrion isn't his son. Orders would be followed by kitchen staff. Not a man of half measures, murderer of many. Bedding Tyrions whore.

Shae - Having climbed as high as Tyrion would take her, she may have wished to free herself of his attachment so that she could more freely manoeuvre into the beds of those who may take her higher. Has been known to loiter in the kitchens and is believed to have admirers amongst the kitchen staff.

[Booknerd2]

It's the Mountain, head and all. I believe that Cersei sent Robert's head to Dorne as a substitute for Clegane's, while Qyburn used the breath of fire to reanimate Clegane

(By Maxpey)

Love this. Not so crackpot really.

Because Cersei wouldn't care and would send any old head to Dorne that looked comparably as big as Gregor's. Also, I believe the Hound may be alive and if he is destined to kill his brother, what is the point if it is only a body? It needs to be head and all and as close to what his brother was for full impact.

[courser]

Sandor Clegane is the valonqar... as he was her sworn shield for ages he would totally be aware of who was sneaking in and out of her bed...Part of Sandor's rehab on the quiet isle is to confess all of his sins to the elder brother... letting the abomination of incest occur under his watch would be a huge sin. The Elder Brother would tell the High Sparrow and even with the trial by fight as her option with Robert Strong...his confession seals her death...somehow...not sure how.

[y ddraig]

Varys's isn't a secret Targ, he's a secret warg. His little birds are actual little birds.

The reason: he's a direct descendent of Brandon the Shipwright, who didn't die on sea but got lost somewhere in Valyria. Thus, technically, Varys belongs to the current generation of Stark children.

[Every]

All of the shit that went down was just Bran's dream while he's in a coma. When he finally wakes up, he remembers what Jamie did. He tells his father, Ned tells the King. Stannis comes forward to tell Jon Arryn's discovery. King has Cersei, Jamie and the bastards killed. Eddard becomes Hand. Gendry, gets legitimized and becomes Heir Apparent.

Most importantly, Arya never met Hot Pie.

If that were the case, Bran would have to be one very messed up little boy...

[Summerqueen]

The blue rose in Dany's vision will do double duty. I think it does indicate Jon Snow at the Wall, but I also contend that it is a figurative description of an impact fracture (like a fist or bullet through a windshield, for example, or maybe something else that pierces the wall and results in radial cracking), an indication of the Wall's inevitable fall.

[Every]

The blue rose in Dany's vision will do double duty. I think it does indicate Jon Snow at the Wall, but I also contend that it is a figurative description of an impact fracture (like a fist or bullet through a windshield, for example, or maybe something else that pierces the wall and results in radial cracking), an indication of the Wall's inevitable fall.

I don't think this is it, but I wish it was. That'd be cool.

[Black Wolf Smith]

I have a new one(to me anyway but "what has been said before will be said again" and I am sure someelse had it before)

Ygritte said that there were wildlings were lost in the caves/tunnels under the wall, and if you listen that sometimes you can hear them.

I think that there isn't a dragon under the wall but a Firewyrm, and that is what the wildlings hear. To take it the next step, the mummers dragon is the Firewyrm.

[ser naes yennet]

Sandor Clegane is the valonqar... as he was her sworn shield for ages he would totally be aware of who was sneaking in and out of her bed...Part of Sandor's rehab on the quiet isle is to confess all of his sins to the elder brother... letting the abomination of incest occur under his watch would be a huge sin. The Elder Brother would tell the High Sparrow and even with the trial by fight as her option with Robert Strong...his confession seals her death...somehow...not sure how.

who is the Elder Bprther? just asking, i know this is the wrong place, but was thinking about this for a while and just saw him mentioned.

and also this would fit the Valanquar, since he is a younger brother to both The Mountain and the Elder Brother.

[ser naes yennet]

Varys's isn't a secret Targ, he's a secret warg. His little birds are actual little birds.

The reason: he's a direct descendent of Brandon the Shipwright, who didn't die on sea but got lost somewhere in Valyria. Thus, technically, Varys belongs to the current generation of Stark children.

could Varys be a Faceless man? he is very adept at disguises and moves around easily and unnoticed for long periods???