Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Here's my current situation, one of the reasons I made the thread I made: as you guys know, I'm recently single. There is a gal, beautiful young lady, we will refer to as J. I met J four years ago at a much different time in my life and it amazed me how similar we were at the time. And back then, she asked me on a date that never ended up happening due to our transportation issues at the time.Gotta tell you though, as amazing as she was, I prayed and hoped for an opportunity to get with this gal, the only time I dropped the thought being when I was in my relationship, but there was always something interfering. After the break up, I just went for it. I inboxed her on Facebook, asked her if she was seeing someone, received a favorable response and she accepted me asking her out on a date.Four years of just waiting for an opportunity to go out with my dream lady was finally at my doorstep. And then the getting to know each other process continued on. And she told me she didn't think we could ever have a healthy relationship because of our similar feelings about our daddy issues. And she gave me the ultimatum of her friendship or nothing at all.All this after so many things were said about how I appreciated the opportunity. Her telling me that I was where she wanted to be. That she wasn't going anywhere. I actually allowed myself to believe that there could be a Disney style storybook ending. And just like that, crushed. I can only blame myself for being so fucking naive. I should have just kept my mouth shut about how fucked up I am while continuing to just be there for her. Sure, we're friends, but being told it can never be more than that was the last thing I needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sperry Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 It's not dishonest to say nothing instead of openly rejecting someone. You are not leading anyone on nor are you telling them anything untrue. A large number of dudes will not react well to outright rejection who would never pester you about it otherwise. These people are probably just as busy as you are seeing other people and living their lives. It's not dishonest, it's just rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I've been guesting on a podcast all this time and couldn't post, but I did get a text back, and yeah, she didn't think there was chemistry. No big, just glad to have some resolution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkhangel Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Here's my current situation, one of the reasons I made the thread I made: as you guys know, I'm recently single. There is a gal, beautiful young lady, we will refer to as J. I met J four years ago at a much different time in my life and it amazed me how similar we were at the time. And back then, she asked me on a date that never ended up happening due to our transportation issues at the time.Gotta tell you though, as amazing as she was, I prayed and hoped for an opportunity to get with this gal, the only time I dropped the thought being when I was in my relationship, but there was always something interfering. After the break up, I just went for it. I inboxed her on Facebook, asked her if she was seeing someone, received a favorable response and she accepted me asking her out on a date.Four years of just waiting for an opportunity to go out with my dream lady was finally at my doorstep. And then the getting to know each other process continued on. And she told me she didn't think we could ever have a healthy relationship because of our similar feelings about our daddy issues. And she gave me the ultimatum of her friendship or nothing at all.All this after so many things were said about how I appreciated the opportunity. Her telling me that I was where she wanted to be. That she wasn't going anywhere. I actually allowed myself to believe that there could be a Disney style storybook ending. And just like that, crushed.I can only blame myself for being so fucking naive. I should have just kept my mouth shut about how fucked up I am while continuing to just be there for her. Sure, we're friends, but being told it can never be more than that was the last thing I needed. Or maybe she was seeing clearly enough for the both of you, and understood that the two of you trying to use each other as human band-aids was the last thing either of you needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 :lol: I'd read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I would personally write off anyone using it as scum of the earth, but per the WSJ (of course) there is now an app called LinkedUp that purports to be the intersection of Tindr and LinkedIn. Because why be shallow on just ONE axis when you can find out if someone is both hot AND rich enough for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yagathai Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 Better to be rich and healthy, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 YOU SAID IT NOT ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alguien Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 The amount of people that go batshit crazy when you do that bit of honesty sometimes outweighs the common courtesy. This is true. My current SO told me a few bafflingly-chockful-of-crazy stories about guys who flipped out when they received a "not interested" text from her after just one date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alguien Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I am thinking of writing a book. Call it "40 and Single". Start it with the scene from Wednesday night: I'm at the rooftop bar at the W Hotel with a hedge fund guy, alternately talking business and kinky sex. He's telling me about this Saudi princess who came over from Dubai just for a hookup...I also have the down low on an Eyes Wide Shut kind of place in Budapest called "Dreamland". I'm kind of tipsy on the strongest Manhattan ever made and no food since noon, thinking of leaving, as I have another date tomorrow night with a law partner in a Commercial Litigation role. I check my cell phone, and my future date for next Wednesday is sending me interesting shirtless pictures, and then - OMG! A cock shot! NO! On the other hand, it's huge...is it real? Maybe I will just have to find out." This book would do amazingly well on Amazon. I'm not kidding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ankou Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Here's my current situation, one of the reasons I made the thread I made: as you guys know, I'm recently single. There is a gal, beautiful young lady, we will refer to as J. I met J four years ago at a much different time in my life and it amazed me how similar we were at the time. And back then, she asked me on a date that never ended up happening due to our transportation issues at the time.Gotta tell you though, as amazing as she was, I prayed and hoped for an opportunity to get with this gal, the only time I dropped the thought being when I was in my relationship, but there was always something interfering. After the break up, I just went for it. I inboxed her on Facebook, asked her if she was seeing someone, received a favorable response and she accepted me asking her out on a date.Four years of just waiting for an opportunity to go out with my dream lady was finally at my doorstep. And then the getting to know each other process continued on. And she told me she didn't think we could ever have a healthy relationship because of our similar feelings about our daddy issues. And she gave me the ultimatum of her friendship or nothing at all.All this after so many things were said about how I appreciated the opportunity. Her telling me that I was where she wanted to be. That she wasn't going anywhere. I actually allowed myself to believe that there could be a Disney style storybook ending. And just like that, crushed.I can only blame myself for being so fucking naive. I should have just kept my mouth shut about how fucked up I am while continuing to just be there for her. Sure, we're friends, but being told it can never be more than that was the last thing I needed.RomComs basically screwed a lot of us over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ankou Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 LITA - why is it always people named J???????? Mandy - I am actually doing a date at a guy's house as a first date - I told him he is NOT getting lucky on the first date. But if I did want to see this guy, I have the feeling it would be just sex. He is pretty damn hot, though. I might need pretty damn hot and just for fun. Derfel - Satan, I hear is pretty hot, has a swanky abode... He hasn't called yet, but if he does, I might pick up. I am thinking of writing a book. Call it "40 and Single". Start it with the scene from Wednesday night: I'm at the rooftop bar at the W Hotel with a hedge fund guy, alternately talking business and kinky sex. He's telling me about this Saudi princess who came over from Dubai just for a hookup...I also have the down low on an Eyes Wide Shut kind of place in Budapest called "Dreamland". I'm kind of tipsy on the strongest Manhattan ever made and no food since noon, thinking of leaving, as I have another date tomorrow night with a law partner in a Commercial Litigation role. I check my cell phone, and my future date for next Wednesday is sending me interesting shirtless pictures, and then - OMG! A cock shot! NO! On the other hand, it's huge...is it real? Maybe I will just have to find out." Based on real events? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kungtotte Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I bet that book would blow 50 shades out of the water. Give all those sex-starved ladies something to really think about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ded As Ned Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I'm not sure I'm old enough to be reading this thread anymore lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I need to stop letting jealousy creep in. Being in a LDR really tests your trust, even if both parties are perfectly trustworthy and honest. I don't genuinely suspect anything - if I did, I would take steps to try to discover why - but sometimes my insecurities get the better of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 I have no idea why it's always someone named J. There's my hint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 And any variation of Jazmine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KiDisaster Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 I'm someone named J :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlefingers In The Air Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Welp, it's nothing personal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted01 Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 My housemate is called Jenna, and she's a terrible person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.