[Book Spoilers] Rant and Rave Without Repercussion

[JonisHenryTudor]

I can't believe THAT was the evidence. Like, wouldn't every other kid who was a squire of Loras know about this?

Also, I think many would say that they wanted the birthmark being the evidence and then they added the whole Dorne thing. No. I'm sure they thought that first and say "wait, why if we make it evidence for something, like... Loras would need to show everybody his ass?".

True but have you ever looked through inquisition records.......

[The Kind Nihilist]

First of all, I would like to thank whoever on this thread recommended 'Black Sails'. I just binged through all of it. Great characters, great plot, a new favourite. That said, watching this episode of GoT immediately after the brilliant Black Sails s02 finale is an experience I definitely do not recommend. The difference in quality is so staggering I retched all the way through 'unbowed, unbent, unbroken'. You have just ruined my morning. Thank you D&D!

[Kungsmurfen]

What have you done to Dorne?! :bawl:

[Dya of Oldstones]

What have you done to Dorne?! :bawl:

The writers held a seance and the ghost of Russ Meyer came through.

[The Killer Snark]

Nah. If this were Russ Meyer, the Sand Snakes would all have had their boobs out, and everyone would be insulting one another in bad beat poetry.

[Dr. Qyburn]

I was never one to rant and rave until this episode. Everything associated with Dorne was terrible. The Dornish scenes, the Dornish birthmark, and considering Sansa's plotline, that tasteful episode title. Ugh.

[The Killer Snark]

Yeah, I did notice that thing with the title myself. By the end of the episode she was neither of the things referred to in the title; I'm pretty sure that D and D would have to be really dense not to have spotted that people would make that association afterwards.

[The Boastful Knight]

Oh, I almost forgot the whole Loras trial thing. What was that about? A freaking birthmark is the evidence? Oh and Tommen acts like an 8-year-old boy, so why age him up? Seriously, why didn't he say anything? If I remember correctly, even book Tommen stood up to his mother at least once. It's just infuriating that nothing in that scene makes any sense. At least all this will bite Cersei in the ass somewhere along the line. I hope so. They should keep her imprisonment from the books, that was the best part of Cersei's AFFC storyline.

[The Killer Snark]

I loved this episode, but the birthmark as evidence...yes. Considering that he Loras ostensibly would have taken him on a squire, even if there'd been no sexual interest, he'd still have been in a position to see Loras nude.

[Mladen]

Moving from Sansa...

1. The Dorne plot has been abysmal. The casting is ridiculous, entire thing is fascinatingly bad. The Sand Snakes? I am speechless at the lack of any characterization whatsoever. Idiotic and lazy.

2. Tommen... There was a time I defended the producers from the attacks that they have sexualized children. Now, seeing that the only grown-up thing about Tommen is his ability to break sex records, I can sincerely agree with the stated opinion.

[The Kind Nihilist]

This fucking show. Let's get this over with, I guess.

Arya storyline: This remains one of the only stories not outright massacred. Still, it feels oddly rushed and dragging at the same time. The game of lies seems a lot more sadistic in tone than what is in the novels. Also, they seem to be jumbling around the plot elements for no real reason. Sadly, it's probably the bright point of the episode.

Jorah/Tyrion: JORAH! STOP TOUCHING TYRION! YOU HAVE THE MOST INFECTIOUS DISEASE EVER! Jorah finding out Jeor died was kind of a nice moment. Luckily there was still time to fit in a "Tyrion has a big cock reference." I'd just like to point out that if they had kept the external threat to Meereen, they wouldn't have to have this terribly contrived way to get Tyrion and Jorah there. However, this will forever be the "Cock merchant" storyline to me. Seriously, cock merchant. Seems like a good way of describing D&D. Two grade-A cock merchants, those two.

King's Landing: So, LF brilliant plan comes full circle and...it's still dumb as shit. Gotta love how he pinballs back and forth between these two. I guess LF is lucky that not one of the hundreds of people who saw him traveling with Sansa managed to get word back to Cersei, seeing as it was crucial to his plan. Poor Carol, having to deal with such a totes rude house guest. So, the lynchpin piece of evidence in the inquest is Loras's birthmark. Because, as his squire, there's certainly no other way Olyvar could have seen it, right? Brilliant.

Dorne: It was kind of lovely to see how quickly both Larry and Faullaria's plans crashed and burned because, really, how could they not? Apparently the Water Gardens is the easiest place to get into, ever. The amount of grass on the dunes outside was alarming. Like, they have officially completely forgotten Dorne is a desert country. Have to love Larry's, "I like to improvise." How did that work out for you. Also, the Sand Fakes giving their "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken" line moments before they were bowed, bent, and broken.

Winterfell: I just can't even with this storyline. It was exactly what I feared and expected and it made me feel just as sick. At least there was the Myranda and Sansa Mean Girls bath scene to scoff at before things got ugly. Really I don't think I can go into it any further than this.

I have some choice words for D&D, but I would prefer the thread not get locked, so I guess I'll end here.

100% with you.

Yes, it is the most watchable part of the show this season, though I had to chuckle at the corpse-cleaning montage :)

Next week on Tyrion the hung: the cock merchant strikes! I mean, seriously!?...

Batfinger's plans seem to hinge on everyone being stupid, misinformed or plain unlucky. Is he even competent enough to run a brothel?

Larry the Plotslayer makes good on his title once again... and Porne is so bad... like, everything about it...

Well, after the sausage thing, I was half-expecting Ramsay to be munching oysters all the way through it, so that they managed to enact the scene with some decorum was actually a good surprise. That said, Sansa's arc is now officially butchered beyond all possible repair...

[Bosfan]

Water Gardens sure have some tight security... if it was that easy to enter in disguise, every castle in the world would be taken and they really should read some books about medieval life (see: squire helping at dressing and bathing, term country). At least we have seen Tyrell soldiers...all four of them and general Olenna.

[Dr. Qyburn]

I loved this episode, but the birthmark as evidence...yes. Considering that he was Loras ostensibly would have taken him on a squire, even if there'd been no sexual interest, he'd still have been in a position to see Loras nude.

I think I might have forgiven them if they had, like good ol' TV writers, conviniently forgotten that Olyvar used to be Loras's squire. But they had Marg, shout that fact out loud then used the birthmark as evidence. All the while, smart-enough-to-kill-kings-and-have-someone-else-take-the-fall, Queen of thornes just sat there blinking. I wanted to throw something at the tv, but laughter won.

[Everett Snow]

2. Tommen... There was a time I defended the producers from the attacks that they have sexualized children. Now, seeing that the only grown-up thing about Tommen is his ability to break sex records, I can sincerely agree with the stated opinion.

When you think about it, aging up Tommen actually makes him an even less competent ruler. No one's going to chastise an 8 year-old for not taking charge, so show-Tommen is a king of ruling age who still has the mind of a little boy.

Show-Joffrey was bad, no mistake there, but at the very least people outside his family had some fear of him.

[Mladen]

I think I might have forgiven them if they had, like good ol' TV writers, conviniently forgotten that Olyvar used to be Loras's squire. But they had Marg, shout that fact out loud then used the birthmark as evidence. All the while, smart-enough-to-kill-kings-and-have-someone-else-take-the-fall, Queen of thornes just sat there blinking. I wanted to throw something at the tv, but laughter won.

Well, I suppose Olenna will be flipping the table on Cersei and Faith by telling about the incest. But, it was idiotic. Especially, given that birthmark is no proof that Margery saw them together.

[Paid Debt Lannister]

It's been a while since I ranted here. All my hype is gone, so whatever. I liked this episode, but seeing both Tyrells imprisoned, and Olenna made fool by Cersei and the HS kindda hurt. I really hope they don't downplay Olenna: she has always been shown as very smart, her family is powerfull, so she has to play a bigger role.

As for Sansa, well, we all knew what was coming from the beginning. I didn't like it, but wasn't surprised at all. Let's see if the Boltons will get what's theirs. If somehow Sansa and the Tyrells end up losing to the Boltons and Cersei, this season will be ridiculous.

[The Killer Snark]

Risto - There's that as well. How could they prove that Margaery, to the best of her knowledge, wasn't being truthful? They really ought to have featured her framing by Cersei in this series, but D and D rendered that an awkward possibility by not featuring the Kettleblacks. Since the Kettleblacks are missing, one wonders how the arrest of Cersei will pan out.

[Paid Debt Lannister]

All the while, smart-enough-to-kill-kings-and-have-someone-else-take-the-fall, Queen of thornes just sat there blinking. I wanted to throw something at the tv, but laughter won.

this. I thought Lady Olenna was a genius.

[The Scabbard Of the Morning]

It's been a while since I ranted here. All my hype is gone, so whatever. I liked this episode, but seeing both Tyrells imprisoned, and Olenna made fool by Cersei and the HS kindda hurt. I really hope they don't downplay Olenna: she has always been shown as very smart, her family is powerfull, so she has to play a bigger role.

As for Sansa, well, we all knew what was coming from the beginning. I didn't like it, but wasn't surprised at all. Let's see if the Boltons will get what's theirs. If somehow Sansa and the Tyrells end up losing to the Boltons and Cersei, this season will be ridiculous.

I think they are clearly setting it up that the reversal on Cersei will be partially planned by Olenna.

[Paid Debt Lannister]

Risto - There's that as well. How could they prove that Margaery, to the best of her knowledge, wasn't being truthful? They really ought to have featured her framing by Cersei in this series, but D and D rendered that an awkward possibility by not featuring the Kettleblacks. Since the Kettleblacks are missing, one wonders how the arrest of Cersei will pan out.

Lancel will confess the regicide of Robert. It is known.