Larry of the Lawn Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 You're on to something here, Larry.I want a robot everything, of course, but the prostate is as good a place to begin as any.I think I'll work my way up until all that I have original left is my face. Maybe keep that to offer a little contrast, keep a little humanity.Face is a great pic for 'last part left standing'. Your progeny will compose epic poetry about the Visage de Soylent. I'm going with hands, I feel like it makes for better movie right options, even if.its just a reversal of Duchovny in Zoolander. Viva la Robota Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Who Swears Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dear Donkey,Due to 'expanding business', I have been away from this institution for quite some time. As 'business' grows, it seems to require slightly less 'hands on' effort from me. I feel that maybe I'd like to re-establish my position here but am unsure as to how to go about it.Also, I am plagued my some lingering questions...Is it worth it Donkey? Who are all these new people? Will they appreciate a less shiny version of SWS? If I lose the boobs av will I still be me? Why do I have so many people on ignore? Why do I feel so old? By the way, your own endeavors and that of several others recently have been stellar. I miss the camaraderie but am I too removed from the situation to participate? Love, Sis Who Is Not Allowed to Swear Anymore :crying: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arbor Gold Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dear Donkey,I have to have a conversation next week with two Canadian men in a job interview context. Any insider tips/phrases to drop to get these Canadians to love me? Anything to avoid at all costs?Many thanks,AG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dear Donkey, I feel that everyone important on the forum has hit you up with a creative, perplexing question. Again I bask in the reflective glow of the collective intelligence, wit, and awesomeness of my fellow boarders. Yet I sit here and have nothing to ask of you. Am I already enlightened? Or just plain dull? SignedA slightly buzzed hummingbird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dear Donkey, In your visions, have you forseen what will happen to this thread later in the evening, on the first Friday since it's creation? Will it survive the weekend? Thanks in advance, Anonymous NinjaDear AN, All threads must pass. I do not know when, or even how, this thread will die. I will just be happy that it was able to live, and thrive, and, most importantly, make a real, positive difference in people's lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dear Donkey:Can you give us a brief history of yourself, and why you are so obviously qualified to dispense advice? How did you come to be so knowledgeable and wise? Your fan,ESI cannot remember for how long I have lived. I have ridden from Baghdad to Constantinople before there were borders to cross in between. Knowledge accumulates over centuries, and, if we are lucky, it is diffused into wisdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I thought I saw you on "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". No? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Dear Donkey,I have to have a conversation next week with two Canadian men in a job interview context. Any insider tips/phrases to drop to get these Canadians to love me? Anything to avoid at all costs?Many thanks,AGI would suggest talking almost exclusively about Rush and maple syrup, while tryng to avoid laughing at them for still having a queen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I thought I saw you on "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". No?Donkey, is she suggesting you're the particular reason Honey Boo Boo was canceled? You know what we mean. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear Donkey, Are ghosts real? And if so, why? ETA: I'm a ghost, so I kinda need to knowNo.Not sure where that leaves you, to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dearest Donkey,What if the theory that Garfield is actually an abandoned cat dieing of starvation and hallucinating about a happy and well-fed life with Jon and Odie, or the theory that Bruce Wayne is actually a mental patient at Arkham Asylum and all of his "enemies" are actually the deranged hallucinatory identities of the doctors and staff he encounters there turn out to actually be true?!?! What then?If these things are so, then we must all have faith in the strength our delusions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear Donkey, I say "donkey" rhymes with "monkey," but my wife always laughs at me when I make this assertion. I'm right though... right?!?An excellent poet of my region once asserted in my company that there was no such thing as a perfect rhyme, and that even the same word twice sounds (albeit only slightly) different. Following from this, the very notion of rhyme is questionable. So...sure. Why not? Let's call it a very imperfect rhyme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Benevolent Ass,Where can I get a robotic prostate? I feel like that's a great investment that should be nipped in.the buds asap.Curiously,LarryI thought maybe Soylent was making them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear DonkeyIf Larry ever gets one, could you please send me his resume and a pic? We are running out of extras! Thanks! Larry sends me pictures pretty much daily, but they are all of a (pet?) hamster wearing different period costumes. Not sure if these will help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSongs Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear SWS, Its good to see you back. I've always enjoyed your posts, but you kind of disappeared when I showed up. bex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Welcome back, SWS! It's good to see you again! Is it worth it Donkey?No. Who are all these new people?I have no idea. Will they appreciate a less shiny version of SWS?See above. If I lose the boobs av will I still be me?Probably. But I would be pretty disappointed. Surely that counts for something?Why do I have so many people on ignore?Because people are awful. Why do I feel so old?On the board, YOU decide how old you are. By the way, your own endeavors and that of several others recently have been stellar. I miss the camaraderie but am I too removed from the situation to participate?You will always be welcome here, my dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gillio Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear Donkey, Why doesn't SWS know about the SWS fan club? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elder Sister Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear Donkey, Why doesn't SWS know about the SWS fan club? Because she's a weenie. Adorable and awesome, but weenie-ish. Signed, Pres. SWS Fan Club, Southeastern Division Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas! Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear Donkey,I have to have a conversation next week with two Canadian men in a job interview context. Any insider tips/phrases to drop to get these Canadians to love me? Anything to avoid at all costs?Many thanks,AGDear AG, Canada is a country of many diverse people with many diverse sensibilities. Thankfully, men are very simple all around the world:Laugh at their jokes. Don't worry if they are remotely funny or not. You can train yourself to laugh at bad jokes by watching some stand up by Russell Peters on YouTube. Assume that they are fans of the nearest professional hockey team. Alberta and Ontario are difficult sometimes this way...in what city are they?Don't mention the Queen. Just don't. That's pretty much it, I guess. My first point is key. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyron Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Dear AN,All threads must pass. I do not know when, or even how, this thread will die. I will just be happy that it was able to live, and thrive, and, most importantly, make a real, positive difference in people's lives.Well, as a fan, I just want you to know how much we appreciate this. And I now know for certain that you are the foreteller that we dreamed of! Also, do you like anime in any variety? Let me know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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