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Dear Donkey...


Nas!

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Ah, Ms Pebble and Ms Songs.



I fear you have also fallen under the Donkey's spell.



I do know the answer, as do we all - is there not a pod of truth in that?

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Dear Mr Stubby,



It is the fact that you very well know the answer and know that we know the answer. Not only that You know that we know that we all (including you), yet still feel the need to ask the question, and then show surprise and dismay when you receive a sarky reply. This is what I find irritating. But I still love you.


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He never claimed to be a god.

But then, he never claimed not to be a god.

Oh right, I read the OP again and see that he only claims to have communicated with the gods. My mistake. I suppose we have to keep wodnering about the possibility of him being god or not ...

Dear Donkey,

are you an omnipotent all-knowing divine supernatural being or not?

Sincerely,

posters occasionally in need of a divine guidance

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I thought you were speaking wisdom. There is but one answer to my question and this is not it.

Sorry, I was listening to "Alive" (my favourite M.O.R.M.O.N.T. song) on my iMormont while you were asking, and I couldn't quite make sense of your Antimormontean accent.

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Dear Donkey,

These mortal humans will never truly understand the depths of your wisdom. Trust me on this one, they are ignorant creatures, incapable of recognizing their betters.

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Dear Donkey,

Why is it that drop bears ask questions they think they already know the answers to? Then get Stroppy when they receive what they believe to be the wrong answer?

People usually ask questions believing that they already know the answer. Sometimes it is better to give them the wrong answer, just to shake them from their patterns.

Why does this irritate me? What can I do to overcome this minor irritation? Is it ok if I create some highly dangerous carnivorous flora and fauna and introduce them to the Land of drop bears to eliminate all drop bears that may ask such questions? Or would I have to think of another means since they are unlikely to notice the introduction of more dangerous carnivorous flora and fauna?

It is important to keep in mind that Stubby lives in the setting for Mad Max, except with more poisonous insects. Cut him some slack.

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Dear Donkey,



As I wander the blasted wastelands of oop north, better known to Southrons as Toronto, I often come face-to-face with the were-beasts of the outer plains, also known as suburban 905ers, and despair at their hatred for my person. As one of the Few (Torontonian), we seem to incite rage and hatred from all comers wherever we travel oop north. I will soon be moving to a home among the were-beasts, and worry about constant siege of my homestead. How do I make them love them? I would like to avoid being forced to instill a fear-based-love in them, by cracking open the skulls of their partners and staking them to my front lawn, as that would be messy albeit good for the garden.



Love,



Unloved Northerner


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Dear Donkey,

are you an omnipotent all-knowing divine supernatural being or not?

Sincerely,

posters occasionally in need of a divine guidance

Certainly not. My ears are simply very big, and my hearing is finely tuned to the whispers of the gods.

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How could you ever have trusted me, really?

Well you're full of love and a nice ass. That's all I needed to know. When you wiggle those ears we come runnin.

You have a responsibility to these people, never forget.

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Dear Revered Ass,

Finally, a respectable thread!

Has any one else been singing the inquiries

, subbing in Dear Donkey where appropriate?

Because I have and now my life is boss.

Sincerely, Larry

Dear Larry,

This is an interesting question. In fact, every inquiry has been made to the tune of Making it Work by Doug and the Slugs, including yours. Who can say what cosmic force is responsible?

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