Things you found oddly amusing

[unitron]

17 hours ago, zandru said:

It's even funnier when George RR does it at a reading!

I've never heard him, but when I see it my immediate thought it the next line should be "Werewolves of London".

[JaneSnow]

15 hours ago, Joy Hill said:

I'm amused that Jaime ends up chaperoning Tommen's pyjama party with the Tyrell girls. The image of him standing there while a brunch of 12 year old girls play truth or dare. . .

 

 

What book was this?

[Castellan]

On 25 April 2018 at 0:30 AM, Sigella said:

Also the weird/gross/cringy sex-related wordings, like the myrish swamp and the fat pink mast. Though honestly they are still more painful than funny. But I try to see it as jokes GRRM is playing on us, like Andy Kaufman's false booger. I'm too uncomfortable by the false booger ( = weird/gross/cringy wordings) to realise I'm being pranked-type of joke maybe?

The fat pink mast is typical of his writing though - just laying on images and references with a trowel and I still didn't notice half of it on first read. Mast because its a ship and they are lurching around awkwardly below decks but his mast is like the central point of the whole business, the way he with his desire to stay safe and warm with his mother and sisters accidentally lands his mouth right on her freely lactating breasts.

I don't find the cheesy things like the entire Iron Islands, darkstar funny, I just wonder why do I have to read this?

I like the deliberate gentle humour in Jaime's wry view of the world (when he is not being angry and obsessed). Also GRRM sends him up slightly, as he is slowly falling out of love with Cersei who is the only woman he's ever has sex, with he starts noticing things like Ryman's whore's melons or whatever he calls them and thinking oh I suppose dark pubic hair can be attractive (or almost thinking that) not to mention earlier comparing Brienne's 'thatch' with Cersei's in the bathhouse.

[Lady Blizzardborn]

On 4/23/2018 at 9:31 PM, Nowy Tends said:

The physical description of Daario Naharis with his trifid multicolored beard, painted nails, golden tooth, etc.

I thought he could as well bear a big latex red nose and a giant polka-dot bow tie…

Best way to hide is right out in the open, and drawing as much attention as possible so no one suspects you have anything to hide.

That's my crackpot theory anyway.

[Lady Blizzardborn]

When the Reader pokes holes in Euron's epic tale of glory with only two words "Did you?"

 

 

[The Sunland Lord]

3 hours ago, Lady Blizzardborn said:

When the Reader pokes holes in Euron's epic tale of glory with only two words "Did you?"

 

 

That's blurred to me now, but gonna check it out again. 

[Kandrax]

Rape their windows

[Guest]

On 4/23/2018 at 9:35 PM, Crona said:

There is a lot, one of the most recent would be Darkstar and everything about him just seems really cheesy. 

Especially when Doran calls Darkstar the most dangerous man in Dorne, just sounded really comic book villainish to me

 

Darkstar came off as a huge chump. It's a little frustrating that he proposed killing Myrcella to Arianne ('start a war with a sword, not a crown') and Arianne didn't have him removed ASAP, by any means necessary. When Doran calls him dangerous, I think he means unpredictable, like how Jamie told Tyrion that Ser Mandon Moore was the most dangerous in the Kingsguard (besides him) because you can't tell what he's going to do. If he was trying to kill Myrcella, than he is the most incompetent  craven in the books. But i think his intention was only to maim her. 

[Lollygag]

Joff naming his new sword Widow's Wail right before he's about to get married.

[OtherFromAnotherMother]

31 minutes ago, Lollygag said:

Joff naming his new sword Widow's Wail right before he's about to get married.

That is funny, also foreshadowing of a widow's wail upon his death.

Quote

 "Noooo," Cersei wailed, "Father help him, someone help him, my son, my son . . ."

 

[OtherFromAnotherMother]

"Wife and daughter both, Your Grace. Craster married all his daughters. Gilly's boy was the fruit of their union."

"Her own father got this child on her?" Stannis sounded shocked. "We are well rid of her, then. I will not suffer such abominations here. This is not King's Landing."

[JaneSnow]

The whole exchange between Jaime and Cat at the end of ACOK and his escape was kinda funny. I mean Jaime's sass, Cat kicking over his shit bucket, Jaime rattling his chains, when Jaime started to laugh Catelyn just thinking Yup, he's drunk, and when Jaime asked what Ned's bastard's name was and Cat called for Brienne and he was like no, that's not it. Not to mention the fact that he slept through his own escape. I can't help but laugh imagining a very pissed off Brienne dragging a tipsy Jaime around.

[Crona]

10 hours ago, Mooncalf said:

Darkstar came off as a huge chump. It's a little frustrating that he proposed killing Myrcella to Arianne ('start a war with a sword, not a crown') and Arianne didn't have him removed ASAP, by any means necessary. When Doran calls him dangerous, I think he means unpredictable, like how Jamie told Tyrion that Ser Mandon Moore was the most dangerous in the Kingsguard (besides him) because you can't tell what he's going to do. If he was trying to kill Myrcella, than he is the most incompetent  craven in the books. But i think his intention was only to maim her. 

Oh I don’t doubt Doran’s meaning. It’s just that when I read it, the sentence sounded so outlandish. Kind of like the most interesting man in the world commercials. But I quite enjoy the character.

another part I found amusing but I don’t remember the direct quote but after blackwater they are giving pardons and some of Stannis’s troops start yelling bastard or something in front of Joffrey. I just could imagine Joffrey’s face

[Arnizipal]

When Jon is sent out to the command tent of the wilding army, he thinks Tormund is the King Beyond the Wall.
Eventally Tormund is dismissed by Mance Rayder and leaves the tent:

Quote

He snatched another chicken off the brazier, shoved it into a pocket sewn in the lining of his cloak, said “Har,” and left licking his fingers.

It's a funny image: Tormund looking all indignant about being sent out, but still saying "har" before leaving 

[JaneSnow]

On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 8:16 AM, Orphalesion said:

I can only say again that I laughed out loud when the training method of the Unsullied was described. Such ridiculous, over-the-top villainy

Unsullied training kinda freaked me out more than anything(not the whole killing babies and all but the brainwashing of it was just really disturbing, to condition a human so thoroughly that they become something like that is just horrifying) but what really cracked me up was the difference between what Kraznys said and what the slave girl translated it too, especially since neither of them are aware that Dany understands every word. I kept waiting for her to eventually reveal that she actually does understand just to see them shit bricks(I'm still on ASOS so don't tell me if it actually happens please)

[Lynesse]

Joffrey being rather inefficient with a crossbow.

A lot of Theon's inner monologue in ACOK – his “cunning” plan, the way he sees the world etc.

Imagining the Ghiscari hairstyles – horn, wings, hands...

[The Bard of Banefort]

"I am Tyrion son of Tywin, of clan Lannister!" 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Lynesse said:

A lot of Theon's inner monologue in ACOK – his “cunning” plan, the way he sees the world etc

"There was something very satisfying about fucking a common tavern whore in Lord Eddard Stark's bed."

[Seams]

Qyburn taking dictation from Cersei:

"Come at once. Help me. Save me. I need you as I have never needed you before. I love you, I love you, I love you. Come at once."

"As you command. 'I love you' thrice?"

"Thrice"

[JaneSnow]

5 hours ago, Lynesse said:

A lot of Theon's inner monologue in ACOK – his “cunning” plan, the way he sees the world etc.

My personal favorite Theon-ism is "His lips look like two worms fucking."

Also Kraznys having bigger boobs than Daenerys. 

Honestly everything about Joffrey is hilarious to me. Jon saying he looks like a girl with his pouty lips and calling him a little shit, him getting his ass kicked by Arya and Nymeria, Joffrey sucking at the crossbow, him accidentally cutting himself on the iron throne and then wailing for his mom like a child, Tyrion roasting him, ect.