If he was Alive, Would Ned Throw Away his bed After Theon Bedded a Common Tavern Wench

[Corvo the Crow]

Title. After taking WF, Theon uses Lord Eddard's bed, the same bed that he shares with his wife honorable lady Catelyn and used to produce his children, with a common tavern wench. If he was alive, how would Ned feel about it? Would he throw the bed? Would he flog Theon if possible? Or would he not care at all?

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Wind sighed faintly against the shutters. Somewhere, far off, he heard the yowl of a cat in heat. Nothing else. Sleep, Greyjoy, he told himself. The castle is quiet, and you have guards posted. At your door, at the gates, on the armory.

He might have put it down to a bad dream, but he did not remember dreaming. Kyra had worn him out. Until Theon had sent for her, she had lived all of her eighteen years in the winter town without ever setting foot inside the walls of the castle. She came to him wet and eager and lithe as a weasel, and there had been a certain undeniable spice to fucking a common tavern wench in Lord Eddard Stark's own bed.

 

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Edited January 8, 2023 by Corvo the Crow

[Craving Peaches]

I think if Ned was alive he'd have a dozen other things to be mad at Theon for. Bed probably wouldn't even cross his mind.

[LongRider]

If he were alive Theon would be nowhere near Ned's bed.  

[astarkchoice]

Ser roderick..fetch ice and a basket to send to balon greyjoy!

[Lee-Sensei]

On 1/8/2023 at 4:09 PM, Corvo the Crow said:

Title. After taking WF, Theon uses Lord Eddard's bed, the same bed that he shares with his wife honorable lady Catelyn and used to produce his children, with a common tavern wench. If he was alive, how would Ned feel about it? Would he throw the bed? Would he flog Theon if possible? Or would he not care at all?

He'd be honoured to have King Theon screw a tavern wench in his bed, just like the Captain's daughter will be honoured to carry a king's bastard.

[Adam Targaryen]

Ser Rodrik: "If he were alive to see this..." 

He would look into Theon's eyes, hear his story and his last words as to why he did it (conquer Winterfell I mean, including the thing about the bedding), and then he would reluctantly but dutifully as always possibly take his head with Ice. Maybe.... But if he knew that Bran and Rickon were alive he might have Bran decide the judgement for him or something like that?  

[SerDuncan]

Kindling for the Long Winter

[Lord of Raventree Hall]

On 1/9/2023 at 8:09 AM, Corvo the Crow said:

Title. After taking WF, Theon uses Lord Eddard's bed, the same bed that he shares with his wife honorable lady Catelyn and used to produce his children, with a common tavern wench. If he was alive, how would Ned feel about it? Would he throw the bed? Would he flog Theon if possible? Or would he not care at all?

 

I am going to take a differnt angle on this, and assume that instead of it happening in our current timeline, it happens in a timeline where Theon is just still a ward of Eddard Stark, no war is going on, and no one is having fond memories of snow melting in Robb's hair (because they see Robb all the time). Anyways, honestly, I don't know. Angry certainly. Hmm, I somehow imagine him bringing Theon to the God's wood, sharpening ice slowly, while having a long conversation with Theon about respect and honor. I don't think he would actually make a verbal threat, but Theon would apologize by the end of the conversation and promise to never do it again. 

[Ser Arthurs Dawn]

3 hours ago, SerDuncan said:

Kindling for the Long Winter

Now we know where Sansa's mattress burning skills come from

[Alden Rothack]

have the servants change the bed and put theon where the rubbish always goes