Daedalus V2.0 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Well, it sure has been a while, hasn't it, Duke fans? Well, guess what? I've topped off (temporarily) my reading list of good authors, so it's back into the world of Tristan and friends, to try and puzzle my way through yet another dazzling adventure! The book is here, staring at me (I suggest you go to google image, type in "Scrolls of the Ancients" and take a look at te cover. I thought it couldn't get any less applicable to the tone of the books. Guess who was wrong?) I will begin the reading of the book tonight. Chapter summaries will commence tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy yourselves, because Newcomb rises again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Ahh, I've missed this. It'll be good to feel dirty again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Holy Christ, its back! I've been waiting so long for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Whoah. You are a braver man than I. I shall be watching from between my fingers; this car crash will go on and on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diabloblanco18 Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 It begins anew.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calibandar Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Gotta give Newcomb credit for his evil femdom women though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted February 27, 2008 Author Share Posted February 27, 2008 Gotta give Newcomb credit for his evil femdom women though. Well, if it wasn't just a phenominon unique to the first book perhaps. The fact is that no female plays an important part in either book 2 or three. So, women went from being either evil ot stupid to just being unimportant annd superficial... So then, one thing I want to share with you; the book is divided into six parts, those being: Relinquishment Recollection Revelation Regret Rebirth Retribution I hate this book already. So, the prologue is some young woman going to a magical wizardly orphanage (OMG! Stolen ideas alert!), where she is giving up her child. There seems to be no reason for her to give up the child (she's not poor, being of the endowed upper class), but she is very very sad that she must do it. Apparently, the father was an ass who skipped out on her the minute she got pregnant (hmm, sounds like a more gentlemanly version of Tristan). Anyways, the kid is of full endowed blood (and so will become a wizard! Wooo!), and the woman who runs the magical wizard orphanage is surprised. But, she takes the kid (You may never come here again!), and the woman collapses and starts crying. Then she walks back to her carriage, where her rich, noble parents are waiting and they ride off. We learn a few things about Eutracian society here: 1. They have the ability to perform abortions, with a 100% success rate and no danger to the woman. Heh. 2. The entire society is Pro-Choice (double Heh!). 3. If the father doesn't want to raise the child, the mother is required to not do so herself. Apparently being single with a child is a good way to ruin the lives of all of your descendants in perpetuity. Kids without daddies are really no kids at all, so you better give them to the wizard orphanage. Oh, and the woman in question is Tristan's mom. So, Tristan now has a previously unmentioned half-brother, who is a couple of years older. Wanna bet he ends up being something along the lines of Tristan's Evil Twin? Yay for soap opera plots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beniowa Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Jesus, my eyes are burning already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossman Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 So then, one thing I want to share with you; the book is divided into six parts, those being: Relinquishment Recollection Revelation Regret Rebirth Retribution The epilogue is titled Retardation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 So then, on to chapter one. This chapter starts absolutely magically. Let me recreate it for you: Whump!... Whump!... Whump!... Isn't that great! Truly amazing use of onomatopeia. Anyways, we continue with... oh wait, one more, this time in italics! Whump!... Whump!... Whump!... This is so great! Anyways, we're on a ship now. Unlike previous ships, this one, the Defiant, has a name. Unfortunately, the Duke uses it to prove that he has absolutely no clue about how ships work. You see, it's an uncommonly large galley with four masts and over 100 oars. The no clue part? It's built for speed and maneuvreability! Yeah, right. Anyways, this chapter is in the POV of Number 28, a slave prisoner oarsman on board the ship. They are being used by a nasty group of creatures known as the bleeders, who are very pale-skinned, dress strangely, have extended heads and distended facial features and like piercings. Wait, this can't be right... A group of piratical slavers bearing that description... Oh my god! The Duke stole the Dark Eldar! Anyways, there is a long scene in which the evils of these nasty creatures is further detailed (yep, they're Dark Eldar), before the leader of these guys comes in. His name is The Harlequin and he is (also stolen from 40k) apparently even more grotesque than the rest of the bleeders. Anyways, he orders that 40 slaves be chosen to be tossed to the Necrophagians, and it happens. Hmm, looks like everyone has a deal with the Necrophages. Anyways, more slaves are brought up from the slave pens in the lower decks and they begin rowing again. We learn that they have some special purpose for the people of Endowed blood, who they are keeping weakened but alive. Then they leave us with an absolute gem of pure writing skill. I think it safe to say that they all disagreed with something that ate them! Chapter 2 is a new low for the Duke. Subtracting the space used to write the chapter number and quote, it's all of 1 page long. Two evil consuls, one male one female, are in the house of an old healer stealing her herbs. They act horrifyingly malevolent, taking only herbs which do damage or harm people and tossing anything not used for those purposes into the fire. Then they leave. So then, after only three chapters I am willing to say that the Duke is up to his old antics. Stealing blatantly from better literature is the name of the game, and he's already let his anti-feminist ideals show through. Well, I suppose it could be worse. More tomorrow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MethodMan Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well... I read the first two books in this series, and I haven't read any other author in my entire life that uses the thesaurus so obviously like Newcomb does. It's kinda easy to notice when I use the thesaurus for one of my essays (in my university), but when you read anything by Robert Newcomb, it is so freaking easy to find words that he has no idea how to use. I think I need to get this book; it's almost like a sick, disgusting fetish. No wonder he can actually get this stuff published. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Who are the Necrophages again? Are those the Big Evil Hands that resurrected Tristan's son at the end of Book 1? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 Who are the Necrophages again? Are those the Big Evil Hands that resurrected Tristan's son at the end of Book 1? No, that was the Guild of Heretics. Also, it was, according to their history as laid out in book 2, completely impossible for them to develope Big Evil Hands. Ah well. The Necrophagians are the evil faces and hands that show up in the Sea of Whispers. They require a tribute of freshly killed corpses or they will sink the ships of those they confront and eat their corpses instead. They were featured prominently in book one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Ahh yes. Where'd those things come from again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 The epilogue is titled Retardation. How very apt. I might add that after you finish the book, you might be inclined to do some Retching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atreides Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Well... I read the first two books in this series, and I haven't read any other author in my entire life that uses the thesaurus so obviously like Newcomb does. It's kinda easy to notice when I use the thesaurus for one of my essays (in my university), but when you read anything by Robert Newcomb, it is so freaking easy to find words that he has no idea how to use. I think I need to get this book; it's almost like a sick, disgusting fetish. No wonder he can actually get this stuff published. I've heard that Christopher Paoloni's second book reeks of a overused thesaurus. And stealing from Warhammer-to the best of my knowledge, that's original. It's not good, but at least the Duke is stealing from new sources. Just makes everything even more entertaining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I don't remember extreme thesaurus usage in Eldest. I should re-read, but I pity my eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man Who Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I don't remember thesaurus usage in either book (Eldest and Scroll of the Ancients). This may be because I have blotted them out of my memory though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daedalus V2.0 Posted February 28, 2008 Author Share Posted February 28, 2008 I don't remember thesaurus usage in either book (Eldest and Scroll of the Ancients). This may be because I have blotted them out of my memory though. It's because you've forgotten. Words like Azure, Sumptuous, and quirksome show up far more regularly than you'd expect, and sentences like The flames roared colorfully for a moment before finally settling down again. Show that he has absolutely no idea how to use certain words. Check Will's posts in my first thread (the link in my sig) for more examples. The Duke uses lots of long words that he thinks make him look smart, and it absolutely reeks of thesaurus abuse. While I'm not going to put up another summary yet, I do want to share an interesting tidbit with you; The big bad guy in this book is named Krassus, and he is Raistlin Majere. No joke, he's a wizard who is now more powerful than his former masters, working on Nick's (read: Fistandantilus) plans and methods to achieve some sort of goal which seems to involve him becoming one of the Heretics (read: gods). Not only that, but he also coughs blood onto a hankerchief on occasion just to make sure that we don't miss the similarities. Ugh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 While I'm not going to put up another summary yet, I do want to share an interesting tidbit with you; The big bad guy in this book is named Krassus, and he is Raistlin Majere. No joke, he's a wizard who is now more powerful than his former masters, working on Nick's (read: Fistandantilus) plans and methods to achieve some sort of goal which seems to involve him becoming one of the Heretics (read: gods). Not only that, but he also coughs blood onto a hankerchief on occasion just to make sure that we don't miss the similarities. Ugh... Now he's copying D&D (well, at least he copied Raistlin, I suppose)? Now that's simply pathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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