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It's back! The Terry Goodkind mauling thread.


Mme Erzulie

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"May the good spirits be with us," she said.

I think the dialogue deserves more mockery. I don't quite know what I'd say if I was suddenly confronted by four threatening men of similar tallness while walking across an unusually easy-to-walk-across sheer cliff face, but it probably wouldn't sound anything like "May the good spirits be with us". ;)

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As I pointed out (but my post vanished) I think the swedish translation is actually *better* than the english original. I don't recall the swedish version being *this* horrendeous (just boring and clichéd)

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Believe me, the dialogue will get its fair share. Just wait 'til the "party". It's gonna be gold. Look for updates tomorrow.

I notice you started quoting WFR right about where the 'action' starts. The funny thing for me was that when I started reading that book, in fact for quite a while into the book, I thought Richard was retarded. I don't mean I didn't like Richard, or I thought bad things about him. I mean I thought that Richard's story was being told from the point of view of a Forest Gump type character.

"How unique," thought I. I braced myself for a High Fantasy version of Flowers for Algernon. It actually took a while for it to sink in that Goodkind's writing was just that bad. I couldn't shake the feeling that this story was written very much like the old D&D modules I used to write when I was 14.

Several times I slammed the book shut and said "ok, that's it." But I was spending the weekend at my in-laws' farm, and didn't have much else to do. So I kept reading. The whole torture thing was actually one of the more vividly written parts of the book. It was comparatively well written, and showed that he had a personal understanding of what drives S&M.

But there were just too many crappy things in the book to overlook. Not the least of which was the fact that the mysterious and universaly feared Red Dragon's name turned out to be Scarlet, and that she reminded me of the dragon in Shrek.

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"""How unique," thought I. I braced myself for a High Fantasy version of Flowers for Algernon. """

ROFL, thats pretty damn bad. Reckon i wont try to read these then

Bah you think thats bad, there is an 8 page monologue in Chainfire (i think it is anyway), about why being pacifists is bad.

He repeats himself like 3 times. Its a 2 page monologue reworded, 3 more times.

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Bah you think thats bad, there is an 8 page monologue in Chainfire (i think it is anyway), about why being pacifists is bad.

He repeats himself like 3 times. Its a 2 page monologue reworded, 3 more times.

You're not exaggerating either. I read that part while I was bottle-feeding my daughter, so I was turning pages and holding the book in the same hand. I was certain that I had mis-flipped and was reading the same page over again.

What's worse is that the inane, teeny-bopper conversation between Nicki & Cara takes place shortly afterward. If you think Richard's monologues are torture, try a Mord Sith and the Mistress of Death talking about how lonely Richard is and how he needs a steady girlfriend.

I would have given up there but the baby was still hungry.

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Thank you so much for posting these excerpts. Honestly, I think the commentary in red is a tad over-the-top but the Goodkind's writing itself is quite mediocre. Makes Dean R. Kootz look like Shakespeare! So now I realize that any temptation I might have to read this series or waste my money on same is banished. Many, many thanks.

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Bah you think thats bad, there is an 8 page monologue in Chainfire (i think it is anyway), about why being pacifists is bad.

He repeats himself like 3 times. Its a 2 page monologue reworded, 3 more times.

Ha ha, want to give me the page number? I wouldn't mind stopping by a book store and reading those eight pages (I gave up on the series after Book 2).

And this thread is awesome.

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Ha ha, want to give me the page number? I wouldn't mind stopping by a book store and reading those eight pages (I gave up on the series after Book 2).

And this thread is awesome.

yeah, I need the page numbers so i can fall down in a fit at B&N

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I notice you started quoting WFR right about where the 'action' starts. The funny thing for me was that when I started reading that book, in fact for quite a while into the book, I thought Richard was retarded. I don't mean I didn't like Richard, or I thought bad things about him. I mean I thought that Richard's story was being told from the point of view of a Forest Gump type character.

"How unique," thought I. I braced myself for a High Fantasy version of Flowers for Algernon. It actually took a while for it to sink in that Goodkind's writing was just that bad. I couldn't shake the feeling that this story was written very much like the old D&D modules I used to write when I was 14.

Several times I slammed the book shut and said "ok, that's it." But I was spending the weekend at my in-laws' farm, and didn't have much else to do. So I kept reading. The whole torture thing was actually one of the more vividly written parts of the book. It was comparatively well written, and showed that he had a personal understanding of what drives S&M.

But there were just too many crappy things in the book to overlook. Not the least of which was the fact that the mysterious and universaly feared Red Dragon's name turned out to be Scarlet, and that she reminded me of the dragon in Shrek.

You thought it was similar to the masterpiece, Flowers for Algernon? :rofl:

Algernon is one of the greatest books ever written in speculative fiction, Goodkind approaches the other end. It must have been a horrible thing to find out the truth.

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You thought it was similar to the masterpiece, Flowers for Algernon?

I didn't think they were similar once I realised the protagonist wouldn't eventually start sounding more intelligent.

I thought they might TURN OUT to be similar when my mind was still trying to reconcile the fact that Richard struck me as a dim-wit with the rather obvious hints that he was going to become the Seeker Of Truth who saves the world.

Call it a cerebral self-preservation insinct, if you will. My mind was rejecting the notion that such a celebrated author's ability to write a character could be so hackneyed. So I jumped to the next most plausible scenario: Ah.. Richard is a retard.

Alas, this was no Flowers for Algernon.

It must have been a terrible thing to find out the truth.

I'm still recovering.

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Actually {Stone of Tears} was the best Robert Jordan rip off I have ever seen...even the title came from The Wheel Of Time...

Seriously, how did he get away with that? The whole Stone of Tear thing is a pretty big deal in Jordan-world, and was focussed on extensively. I know some overlapping ideas are accepted in fantasy (um, anything with elves post-Tolkien), but that was ridiculous.

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