[ADwD Spoilers] Insane Crackpot Theories

[Silverin]

Gendry is actually not Robert's bastard but Stannis'.

My proof is: he is not into whoring around like robert, he is very serious and he worships R'hollor.

Dany is actually not a Targ. When the real Daenerys Targaryen was born they switched her with some random silverhaired baby, to make sure she stays safe. That random silverhaired girl (Dany), happenes to have more purer Valyrian blood than the Targs and that is why she could hatch dragons. So she is the real fake dragon. After she dealt with the usurpers, the real Daenerys will come reveal that she herself (Dany) is an usurper, and kill her.

[Whatever]

That old tomcat that keeps showing up in the red keep is little Rhaenys's Balerion. He's going to kill Tommen to get revenge. Again, i'm dead serious

[BladeDancer]

Here is a crackpot theory. Aerys Targ was not actually mad. He was acting mad because he was being poisoned with some mood altering substance/poison administered by the Maesters. The Maester's wanted to get rid of the Targaryen's because they want to get rid of magic and the Targ's were prophesized to bring about the return of magic and dragons. Pycelle fed Aerys some stuff that made him completely violent and paranoid.

I don't believe this is even remotely likely. I am just throwing it out there as a wacky theory.

[Sidonie]

Here is a crackpot theory. Aerys Targ was not actually mad. He was acting mad because he was being poisoned with some mood altering substance/poison administered by the Maesters. The Maester's wanted to get rid of the Targaryen's because they want to get rid of magic and the Targ's were prophesized to bring about the return of magic and dragons. Pycelle fed Aerys some stuff that made him completely violent and paranoid.

I don't believe this is even remotely likely. I am just throwing it out there as a wacky theory.

This is a VERY cool idea. Who knows? It may even be true.

[BladeDancer]

I also have a wacky theory that Harrenhal is cursed because of it's proximity to the Isle of Faces. The Isle of Faces seems to be a centre of power in the South for the Old Gods. It has lot of Heart-trees and is the place where the First Men and the Children of the Forest sealed their peace treaty. As the Harrenhall occupants worships the Seven, they are cursed by the power of the Old Gods which is nearby and resents them for breaking the Pact about cutting down Heart-trees.

[FilliamHMuffman]

Penny is Tysha's daughter.

[mbb]

1. When Selmy told Dany that the Mad King took "wedding privileges" with Lord Tywin's wife he meant that he planted his seed within Lady Joanna.

This means that Jaime and Cersei are actually the Mad King's children (This is why the Mad King wanted Jaime near him when Jaime first joined the Kingsguard.)

Dany will cross west to Westeros and join Jamie and Cersei and together they three will be the three headed (True Targ) dragons.

2. The Others are the good guys.

3. Theon Greyjoy will be burned by Stannis as a sacrifice but he will be reborn through "fire and smoke" (or whatever the prophecy was) as AA.

[Tall Tyrion Lannister!]

All of the crows at the NW aren't warged by anybody human. They are actually warged by Others for scouting The Wall so when they blow the horn of winter, they will know what they are up against.

Jon is actually a result of Ashara and Barristan, but in order for Barristan to keep his honor as a Kingsquard and for the Daynes to do so as a family. When Ned went to Starfell to give her Auther's sword, he came back with a baby.

The reason that the Targaryn's are so otherwordly looking is because they are actually not from this world, they are actually aliens.

[Aegonmyface]

To control a dragon you have to have done the dude that the dragon was named after.

So Dany can control Drogon, Elia and/or Lyanna can control Rhaegal and Viserys' right hand, and possibly one of the cheese merchant's whores, can control Viserion.

[chrisdaw]

Jamie Lannister will be the 1000th Lord commander of the nights watch,joining the NW has all his past "indiscretions" forgiven and this gives GRRM a way out of not killing off a beloved character.

Good theory, would tie together his transformation well given how he behaved with Jon.

[Gemini]

Here are some of the craziest theories I've been able to come up with:

1. Jon Snow is actually just a bastard, not the result of R+L

2. Tyrion, Jaime, and Cersei are all Tywin's kids, none of them results of the Mad King.

3. Only the Stark children (and Jon) have warging powers.

4. Syrio, Rhaegar, and Ned are all dead.

:rofl:

[Guruite]

Podrick Payne is AA - and he'll turn out to have light-bringer forged by Gendry. In a dramatic reversal of roles, Sansa will become the thing that Pod plunges his sword into. Lummy Greenhands will be brought back as unlummy. Then Pod, Gendry, Arya, unlummy, Hot Pie, Rickon, Big Walder, and the rest of all the children mentioned in the series will storm KL with Varys' in full military regalia. Eventually all these children will settle on Skagos and never age - only to fight endless battles with Salador San. Petyr Balish ends up being Peter Pan .. somehow.

[Guruite]

Depressed after Jon's death and wanting to lighten the mood for their fellow brothers, the majority of them will take a page from Pyp in ASOS and cast a joke vote for Dolorous Edd in their next election, making him officially Lord Commander. His extreme cynicism, combined with the actual harshness of the Wall's situation, will serve to make him right about everything always and the Others are terrified of his seeming prescience.

The Hound eventually gains command of the Burned Men. It's just obvious.

I want this to happen more than Christmas.

[Nymeriah]

Stannis IS actually AA

Cercei will try to convert kingslanding to the old gods so she can get rid of the Sparrow and other religion-related problems

Living Targaryens include: Tyrion, Varys, Illirio, Moon-boy, and Tysha

[Howdyphillip]

Jon will eventually be brought back to life by Bran, but it will cost Bran his life.

1. This will involve Bran manipulating time in some way.

2. Jon spending a great deal of time warged into Ghost

[Travex]

GRRM will pull an epic troll. The series will end with Jon's parentage never having been revealed, Aegon's authenticity never confirmed or denied, Howland Reed never shows up, the ToJ shenanigans are never revealed, etc.

[Silverin]

At the end of everything Myrcella will be the one sitting on the Iron Throne.

I know, I know, we have the prophecy, but if he can streatch things in a way that from the "never, never, never" dany might get pregnant again, he sure can twist the prophecy in a way that not all the kids will die. (Fingers crossed. Love Myrcella and Tommen.)

So my proof is simple she is disfigured. If GRRM wanted her simply dead after crowning, Arianna could have crown her, then Darkstar kill her and Arys. The end. It didnt happened this way, which means she will have a role to play.

If he used this so the Dornish have to tell the KG that someone tried to kill her, it was not necessery since arys is dead.

So I say the missing ear is GRRMs gift to the character. Long ago people believed that those who have plus bones (like six fingers), have special abilities, fate, like being shamans. Well it seems like in the GRRM universe it is little bit opposite, missing bones means something like level upgrade. Every important character missing an ear, nose, hand, fingers, or just simply criple, has burnt hand, face. Now with this incident Myrcella was raised into the characters whom will have important storyline cathegory.

Another proof: Myrcella is said to be quite a smart kid.

Another one: Illyrio is telling Tyrion why Dany is better than Tommen, Stannis and Myrcella. In the case of Tommen and Stannis he compares abbilities, personality. But when he compares Myrcella and Dany he sais Dany has a better claim. You see, the better claim is true in the case of Tommen and Stannis as well. So the reason why he doesnt compare Dany's abilities or personality with Myrcella, is because Dany is not better than her in those departmen. And if you add that Myrcella is six years younger than Dany, and already can be overshadowed by the dragonqueen only in case of claim, I say it means Myrcella has huge potential.

[Catastrophy]

Slightly more serious crackpot theory: Rickon Stark is the valonqar. When Maggy the Frog made the prophecy, she said "the valonqar," not "your valonqar." In other words, it's "the little brother," not "your little brother." So any little brother and, possibly even sister according to Aemon's speech about gender non-specific words in Valyrian, can be the valonqar.

My thought is that valonquar is little sister and that Cercei will be killed by Dany.

Cercei and Jamie are children of Aerys Targaryen.

Jon Snow is also his son with Lyanna (Rhaegar was just covering for his father) and Young Griff is his son with Ashara Dayne.

Aerys Targaryen had as many bastards as Robert and by the end of saga there will be at least 10 more Targaryen showing up. :smileysex:

[Knight of Ashes]

I have this notion that Alliser Thorne is gonna be really outraged at what Marsh & co. did to Jon and will actually side with him, despite dislike of Jon and his decisions..

May not be as crackpot since Mel did say it's not those that oppose him out in the open that Jon had to worry about.

[Ofaelol]

The entire series is just Melisandre seeing into the future and telling Stannis what WOULD happen if Robert were to die.

QFE