The smallest moments that are hilarious

[UnbentFury]

In the show, when Robert is talking about capturing Danearys, and he starts off the conversation with:

"The WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE is pregnant!" made me laugh for ten years.

Also, when Cersei slaps Joffrey in the show in front of all the workers and they all start hammering really hard as if they hadn't seen.

When the Spice King completely owns Dany on her demands for ships.

And I swear to god if they don't put "And one!" woman in the show, I will personally write HBO a letter.

[Sweet-N-SourRobin]

"It is not right to make him wait." Dany did not know why she was defending her brother, yet she was. "Viserys says he could sweep the seven kingdoms with ten thousand Dothraki Screamers."

Ser Jorah snorted. "Viserys could not sweep a stable with ten thousand brooms."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

How did I make it through all those rereads over the years and only just now did I discover this most epic of all burns from Ser Friendzone? Best insult ever.

[UnbentFury]

Also this gif made be burst a lung:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/316a00051ae8c54a2f9e607babab1dc6/tumblr_mj0yzlCgNb1r8979do1_400.gif

[Caio T]

Left and Right, I find that funny!

When Jon Connington takes Griffin's Roost and they take down the ravens, I don't have the book but I think it goes like this: " 'No more messages'. The last thing to come out flying from the maester's tower was the maester hilself. From the way he flapped his arms he could be easily mistaken for a bird." I laughed so hard when I read that :drunk:

On Sansa's supper with Margaery, Lord Tyrell's wife calls Olenna "Mother" and she says "Don't call me that, if I had given birth to you I would remember" and "Were I born a peasant mother with a wooden spoon I would have beaten some sense in his fat head".

EDIT: That gif :lmao:

[King Bobby B]

In ACOK when Bran is hosting the northern lords at Winterfell, Lady Hornwood says she doesn't want to marry Wyman Manderly. It says something like, Bran knew that men slept on top of women when they shared a bed. Just his innocence about this made me laugh.

And later, in the same chapter, when he meets the Greatjon's uncles, and he remembers Old Nan's story about Mors Crowfood. She would never tell him why his gaunt brother Hother was called Whoresbane. I laughed too hard at this.

[KOM]

Another that no one ever mentions is that old lady on the auction for the slaves in ADWD. Tyrion has a small bidding war for him and this old lady always quips with "And one!"

That one is great, esp in the audio version.

Dark: Robert to Cersei,

Cersei Lannister: [after she got hit by Robert] I shall wear this as a badge of honor.

Robert Baratheon: Wear it in silence or I'll honor you again.

not lol funny, but paranoid funny mayhaps:

When the boatman is dropping off Arya in Braavos: ~ Yorko's all "you remember my name right, right? please remember it, i don't wanna die from FM shenanigans"

[Grand Moff Mithrandir]

"You are still warm, ser, and I feel your heart thumpetythumping" :lmao: Salldhor Saan to Davos

[Harle The Handsome]

Jaime Lannister's description of Emmon Frey:

"He had the chin of a weasel, the wits of a goose and the courage of an especially brave ewe."

[Pod The Impaler]

When Jon Connington takes Griffin's Roost and they take down the ravens, I don't have the book but I think it goes like this: " 'No more messages'. The last thing to come out flying from the maester's tower was the maester hilself. From the way he flapped his arms he could be easily mistaken for a bird." I laughed so hard when I read that :drunk:

Yeah.

[Usrnmhsnomning]

Dolorous Edd during the LC election was probably one of the only things that legit made me laugh out loud.

[Ibbison from Ibben]

Bran's first line (not spoken, only thought) in aDwD.

"Are we there, yet?"

It's just so modern. He's in the basket on Hodor's back, but you can imagine him in the back seat of a car during a long trip.

[Bastard of Uplands]

Pretty much anything Dolorous Edd, Olenna Tyrell and Daven Lannister says.

And when Tyrion, Penny and Jorah are escaping Yezzan:

Every time they shuffled forward another place, the bells on their collars tinkled brightly. Such a happy sound, it makes me want to scoop out someone's eyeballs with a spoon. By now Griff and Duck and Haldon Halfmaester should be in Westeros with their young prince. I should be with them. . . but no, I had to have a whore. Kinslaying was not enough, I needed cunt and wine to seal my ruin, and here I am on the wrong side of the world, wearing a slave collar with little golden bells to announce my coming. If I dance just right, maybe I can ring "The Rains of Castamere."

And Tyrion's brief conversation with The Queen of Thorns at Joffrey's wedding, especially the last part:

Tyrion was beginning to wonder whether Lord Luthor Tyrell had ridden off that cliff intentionally.

[UnbentFury]

In the show, when Robb is asking why Theon would betray him, Roose was like:

"Because the Greyjoys are treasonous whores." :lmao:

[Pinkie Baelish]

In the show, when Robb is asking why Theon would betray him, Roose was like:

"Because the Greyjoys are treasonous whores." :lmao:

The funniest part is that it's coming from Roose.

[KamiShikkaku]

"I have too many councilors and too few cushions."

In the purple hall, Dany found her ebon bench piled high about with satin pillows. The sight brought a smile to her lips. Ser Barristan's work, she knew. The old knight was a good man, but sometimes very literal. It was only a jape, ser, she thought, but she sat on one of the pillows just the same.

Daenerys Targaryen had preferred to hold court from a bench of polished ebony, smooth and simple, covered with the cushions that Ser Barristan had found to make her more comfortable.

[Fire Eater]

Arya throwing a blood orange at Sansa's head along with her snarky comeback to Joffrey: "She didn't hurt you . . . much"

Jorah's comment "If he'd known they were like to hatch, he'd would have sat on them himself." Just the image of Illyrio sitting on the eggs to hatch them makes me laugh inside.

[ARYa_Nym]

When Gendry meets Ned.

“This is fine work. I would be pleased if you would let me buy it.” The boy snatched it out of his hands. “It’s not for sale.” Tobho Mott looked horror-struck…”I made it for me,” the boy said stubbornly.”

When Jaqen killed Pate:

He could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

“What’s happening?” he said. His legs had turned to water.

“I don’t understand.”

“And never will,” a voice said sadly.

Arya to Gendry:

This amused me.

Guards were posted to see that Bran remained there alone all night to reflect on his disobedience. The next morning Bran was nowhere to be seen. They finally found him fast asleep in the upper branches of the tallest sentinel in the grove.

Quentyn's oh and Rickon punching Old Nan.

[Blood of the Flagon]

"....but he was just some old man and she was a lioness of casterly rock....." before fleeing and being thwarted

[Fire Eater]

Gendry: "The bald one one? No, not him. He never said no word, just glared at me like I was some raper who done for his daughter."

"Mind your filthy tongue," the master said.

[First of the First Men]

When the wights attack Bran, Hodor and the Reeds outside the cave of the children of the forest, and Bran wargs into Hodor, he cuts off a wight's head and bellows "Hodorrrr!!!!"

The night is dark and full of turnips.

Jaime telling Roose that he didn't lose his hand, it's right here around his neck.

:bowdown: OMG these are priceless...