Lightning Lord Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Did she show up drunk? At least that would have been entertaining and possibly worth the wait.Sadly, no. She showed up with sparkly cheeks. I thought that I was unimpressed, but as the date went on, I found it more fetching than on first blush. Of course, I also had higher inebriation as the date went on, and the two phenomena may be positively correlated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karaddin Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 "Hey, you seem like a really nice guy/girl and you certianly are attractive. However, I am afraid I am not sensing enough chemistry from our interactions to really keep things going. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone more compatible with you. Take care!"Perfect! Despite being really shy I hate playing games even more, so the honest straight up approach is my preferred one too. Had a date with a nice, attractive girl from RSVP when I was trying to get back on my feet after divorce, and wasn't feeling it. It was after I identified as bigender but didn't think I needed to transition, and I had told her about it before the date. On later contemplation I realised I hadn't been feeling it because I didn't want to be dating as a straight man, but rather as a woman... Told her that and she was lovely about it! I felt bad that it was a date that tipped me into realising I needed to transition, I hope she found someone nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Castellan Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I've been to one where the gentleman pretended he wasn't himself. I recognized him from his picture and he denied himself.That's so funny. I hope you went to the 'yes you are' 'no I'm not' level and didn't just let it pass. You could have demanded to see his ID. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biter Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I think I might be having some success with online dating... Yes, I'll keep you updated (but probably won't tell you everything)...Good luck to you all out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Tell me about it. This is one reason I schedule these first dates at a location convenient to where I run my errands. I've been to one where the gentleman pretended he wasn't himself. I recognized him from his picture and he denied himself.Ini,If all you've gotten was douchey messages, you're ahead of the game. When you figure out how to have that, "You're nice, but I'm not attracted to you," conversation, send me a copy of the script. I've gotta have one of those. Blech.I think I'm going to go with, "I don't think we're a good fit."Oh, I've never gotten douchey messages. I met a girl on Saturday and she was nice but I'm just not attracted. She sent me a message yesterday saying that she had fun and hoped we could hang out again soon. (Yeah, I know I should have replied by now. I'll do it today.) I just want to be nice and adult about it instead of ignoring her.Got a date with another girl on Tuesday, and going to try to schedule with another girl who's accepted my invitation in theory. She's starting a new rotation (this is the med student) so her schedule will be wonky, but my schedule allows me to be pretty flexible. Got a message back from a girl I thought had decided she wasn't interested -- when you watch your OKC profile like a hawk, sometimes 2-3 days pass but you thought it was longer -- so I will probably ask her out as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcibiades Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 If that's more than 3 dates like that, then you have just broken all odds of online dating, far as I know. :PSadly, it's way more than 3! I don't want to attempt an official tally, but I wouldn't be shocked if it was north of 20, haha. Most of them have just been first dates where it was pretty clear there wasn't much mutual chemistry. The worst dates generally just involve an hour of information dumping, which isn't the worst thing int he world. Maybe DC women are more punctual than most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Walder Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I find it best to avoid placing much stock in the email exchange (other than as a free means of detecting red flags), and to meet in person as soon as possible. Some of the people on internet dating sites don't actually want to meet anybody offline, for various reasons (scared of the internet, married, etc), and it's IMHO best to detect them early unless you're there to play the same sort of games. The people who I've met online who wanted to meet right away tend to be similar to me in outlook on the whole process: "Okay, we've ruled out some red flags - Now let's assess chemistry and proceed directly to sexytimes or cordial goodbyes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcibiades Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I generally ask for a face to face meeting on message 3 or 4. Chatting beyond that is generally a waste of time. Often I'll know very quickly on meeting in person whether I'm interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Walder Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 That's pretty quick in my experience. It took one guy a week and me asking (the one who i am still dating) to even meet up with me.One guy I was talking to ended up finding someone before we could meet. One guy I'm still talking to has yet to ask me out.That second line right there is why we advocate speed.But I like the guy I've been seeing now enough to close down my account and just date him if he asked me to. Adorable.Revisit post #171. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 That's pretty quick in my experience. It took one guy a week and me asking (the one who i am still dating) to even meet up with me.One guy I was talking to ended up finding someone before we could meet. One guy I'm still talking to has yet to ask me out.But I like the guy I've been seeing now enough to close down my account and just date him if he asked me to. Adorable.Three or four messages is typically at least a week in my experience. Most people give it a day or two between messages -- I think the thinking is that responding too fast makes you look desperate -- so if A messages first on day 1, even if there's a message sent by one party every day, 3 messages takes 6 days and 4 messages 8. And often it can be two days between messages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alcibiades Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Yeah, it's not unusual for it to take a week. Lately though I've tried to speed things up a bit. Sometimes I'll take cues from her: if she responds fast, I'm more likely to as well. One of the best girls I ever messaged responded with: "meet me IRL!" in her first message back to me. I've stayed friends with that one, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inigima Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Yeah I always do that too. Don't want to seem overeager or unresponsive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derfel Cadarn Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 My first few messages failed to elicit a response. Email 1 was a disaster.I got a reply (OMG!) from a very accomplished girl, and so far I've sent her 4 emails with 2 replies. She replied to email 1 within minutes but i waited a day before email 2. Email 3 was pretty much a reaponse to a question she asked, the first time she's asked something rather than answering some of my questions.My email tonight had an invite to IM if she wanted. I'm hoping she'll accept. Her profile flagged her as either selectively or very selectovely replying, so i'm taking two replies as promising.Im a noob at this so not getting hopes up (much).Edit: she did say in her forst reply that she liked my profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derfel Cadarn Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Im getting over a chest infection, so delaying any actual meeting invite until the antibiotics have nuked it. Thanks for the encouragement.Eta: she's happy for me to IM! Score! Im intimidated by her accimplishments, but fuck it, nothing ventured nothing gained. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Put a name tag on him that says "#2" at the LoneStar Con. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightning Lord Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 On the other hand, going to the theater can take some of the pressure off of a date. I always feel some nerves on dates, and have to consciously keep myself from trying to impress, and to just be myself. A movie (or other entertainment) helps me because I know there's a respite, a breather. I actually love baseball games for this reason, there's a back-and-forth with action/game and conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerraPrime Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 On the other hand, going to the theater can take some of the pressure off of a date. I always feel some nerves on dates, and have to consciously keep myself from trying to impress, and to just be myself. A movie (or other entertainment) helps me because I know there's a respite, a breather. I actually love baseball games for this reason, there's a back-and-forth with action/game and conversation.Baseball? How do you keep from falling asleep from all the boredom eminating from the game? :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightning Lord Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Baseball? How do you keep from falling asleep from all the boredom eminating from the game? :PSee, there's built-in naps, in case the evening is going very well and we'll need to be able to stay up late, if you know what I mean ;)(Midnight ice creams for the win!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Walder Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 LMFAOHey, I'm not saying I want to marry him next week, I'm saying that so far he's a way better match for me than ANYONE I've seen or met. And I haven't seen one little hint of a dealbreaker. That's all :P I'm excited about him, don't rain on my parade :PNo rain intended. I, too, was a little overwhelmed at the general jump in quality when I started using OKC, and again after I read about how the questions work and refined mine (a lot). The closest I've come to a "bad date" in the last few years was meeting people who were awesome and who I had a lot in common with, but no chemistry, and people who were awesome, with chemistry (yes, this means what you think it does), but not (for whatever reason) relationship material. Be prepared to raise your standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Baseball? How do you keep from falling asleep from all the boredom eminating from the game? :PI go to minor league games, tickets are much cheaper, a little more exciting, plus they are usually outdoors, so good walking around and chatting. My wife and I do that off and on, makes for good evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.