Vampire Squid Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Ebony Lightning? Any relation to the protagonist of My Immortal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 He isn't very popular on this board because of "philosophical differences in opinion". Better not to talk about it. ;-) Well, that and the fact that he's shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 i am now imagining a world-record-sized turd with a yeard. in my imagining, i wonder what bowel produced it, and from which bowl it escaped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magic 8 Ball Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Yet more (this is from later in the book)Yet with a cry of ironic agony, their charge ended. Feet no longer tread solely upon enemy dead. Seth felt vivid torment in his soul. The first of the Brotherhood fell, a blow from behind piercing the brother's heart.Seth vowed to spare no suffering for the one who had delivered the deadly blow. With a jump and a kick, the guilty was knocked stunned to the deck, his demise not instantaneous like the others before him. He would be forced to lie and watch with eyes that were purposefully allowed to move as life slowly dripped away. Seth's blow struck the spinal cord just below the neck on the right side.Nine and one trudged onward toward the high deck where Cagen now battled the enemy captain. Three sailors were all that remained of his once proud group and they protected his rear against the galleon's surly captain. Although thick lines of evident fatigue held to his countenance, Cagen persisted.Note that Seth is supposed to be a good guy. Say what you like about Jim Theis, but he never descended to Paolini or Goodkind-style "inflicting terrible suffering is OK if it's the good guys". Shame on you, Stanek. Wanton and ironic cries of shame. The best part is the part where three sailors have to defend his rear from a surly captain. Bad enough on it's own, until you also add that they are defending his rear from someone who is in front of him. Also, they appear to be on the same side as the surly captain, yet are defending Seth's butthole from him. From the wrong side. The word redundancy makes me imagine a novel written by Mojo Jojo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lord's Kiss Posted October 31, 2013 Share Posted October 31, 2013 I imagine him hiring himself as an editor, emailing himself suggestions on how he could possibly edit or revise his wording to make it somewhat coherent, and then sending messages back and forth to the different accounts all day long, until he gets so frothing mad at his editor, and so mad at his client, that he passes out in a bowl of Cheez Doodlez. That is what I imagine. I don't even know if Cheez Doodlez are a real product, but I bet Stanek could make them real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTallhart Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 He isn't very popular on this board because of "philosophical differences in opinion". Better not to talk about it. ;-) Well, that and the fact that he's shit. Please enlighten me my friends, I honestly consider him among the top ten authors currently writing in this day and age... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 The search function is your friend. To date, we have at least 53 threads explaining in great detail the myriad problems with Mr Goodkind's writing. Top ten authors? Are you sure we're talking about the same guy? :stunned: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTallhart Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 The search function is your friend. To date, we have at least 53 threads explaining in great detail the myriad problems with Mr Goodkind's writing. Top ten authors? Are you sure we're talking about the same guy? :stunned: I have just read the thread at 53: and is he honestly held in the same manner as Stannek, I would not say I am the most learned of Fantasy readers but in all seriousness... What element of his books, whether it be the Sword of Truth et al. has served to inspire such vivid connotations upon his yeard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 my take on wizard's first rule: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/175600435 he's not classed with stanek, usually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTallhart Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 my take on wizard's first rule: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/175600435 he's not classed with stanek, usually. 'More simplistic than double-entry book keeping' - As a student being educated in an accounting I am all to familiar with this euphemism. If I am to be sincere, I am currently at halfway through Blood of the Fold and I threw the book in disgust at the similarity to The Creator and the Sisters of the Dark to WoT. Wizard's First Rule was excellent, but I now offer my gauntlet in mercy after reading what Goodkind spoke about those who cannot finish his books. Well, cheers ASoIaF for despoiling one of my favourite authors... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt b Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 This blog: http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html does a pretty good job of explaining what's wrong with Goodkind without being forced to actually read him. Now back to your regularly scheduled Stanek-isms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisterOJ Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 'More simplistic than double-entry book keeping' - As a student being educated in an accounting I am all to familiar with this euphemism. If I am to be sincere, I am currently at halfway through Blood of the Fold and I threw the book in disgust at the similarity to The Creator and the Sisters of the Dark to WoT. Wizard's First Rule was excellent, but I now offer my gauntlet in mercy after reading what Goodkind spoke about those who cannot finish his books. Well, cheers ASoIaF for despoiling one of my favourite authors... Ah.... you're only halfway through book 3? That explains a lot. I was still enjoying Goodkind at that point too - years ago. I suspect that as you get deeper into Goodkind's series that you'll come around to most everyone else's way of thinking. It started going downhill (for me) around book five, I think. Book eight (Naked Empire) was my breaking point. Up until that craptacular book, I was buying everything in hardback as soon as it came out. I waited quite a long time (like 2-3 years) before buying book nine in paperback. I might have gotten halfway through it before I chucked it. I haven't looked back since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuenjato Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Wizard's First Rule was excellent... No. TG's work is poorly-written, poorly-developed garbage from the very beginning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prone_to_say_stupid_things Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 I gave up on Goodkind years ago. And i was not impressed with the one Stanek book I read. However, if Goodkind and Stanek were to co-author a book together I would read it out of curiosity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 i am now imagining a world-record-sized turd with a yeard. in my imagining, i wonder what bowel produced it, and from which bowl it escaped. Ayn Rand's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 More Stanek, this time the redundancy edition: Gripped with fear, Vilmos stood unable to move. He looked out over the valley that had once seemed peaceful, only now regaining the point as he fought to focus his mind. He felt alone, very alone, though he knew he wasn't. He cocked his head, left and right, forward and back, searching. But his search was in vain, because he truly was alone. There was no-one else with him. Waiting to hear the voice again, and ensure he wasn't just daydreaming, Vilmos remained absolutely still. Only his own gasping breaths broke the silence, nothing more. "Where are you? Show yourself," Vilmos called out. The only answer Vilmos received was the sound of wind rushing over the point and the returning echoes of his voice as it faded away and blended into the wind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alytha Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Thank you for your sacrifice. The last one is kinda poetic though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Such a masterful economy of language! I can see why those millions of people all around the world but especially Indonesia heap such praise upon the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 "Where are you? Show yourself," Vilmos called out. The only answer Vilmos received was the sound of wind rushing over the point and the returning echoes of his voice as it faded away and blended into the wind. that's the brilliant twist, right? after hammering home the solitude three times, we are presented with the ingenius juxtaposition of the presence of another character in the following bit, yes? a profound commentary on social isolation in the midst of civil society, the implicit atomism of the late medieval period, a scathing critique of gemeinschaft culture and feudal relations of production, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datepalm Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Practically Brechtian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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