pat5150 Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 I realised I had a bunch of petro-points from Petro Canada that could be used to buy stuff, and at their web store I found a whole bunch of Stanek novels.... :ack: I feel dirty for even mentioning it. I mean, would buying his books support the tar sands project? Fuck me, you can buy Stanek books with petro-points???? :eek: Patrick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChampion Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Aye, you can. There were a lot of old timey SF writers there too, but titles I never heard of before; books from Fritz Lieber, Clarke Ashton Smith, Jack Vance and some guy named George R R Martin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rorshach Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 Aye, you can. There were a lot of old timey SF writers there too, but titles I never heard of before; books from Fritz Lieber, Clarke Ashton Smith, Jack Vance and some guy named George R R Martin. No way you go for those guys! Stanek all the way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Richard Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I saw a bunch of these at the used book store the other day. I feel bad for whoever bought those back, but worse for whoever bought them in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pat5150 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I have never seen a physical copy of a Stanek book anywhere. . . Thank God for small blessings!! :P Patrick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAH Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 I realised I had a bunch of petro-points from Petro Canada that could be used to buy stuff, and at their web store I found a whole bunch of Stanek novels.... :ack: I feel dirty for even mentioning it. I mean, would buying his books support the tar sands project? Were I Albertan, I'd be pissed off knowing that our tar sands went to support Robert Stanek! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTallhart Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 This guy is perhaps the most deranged and statistically-accurate man I have laid my poor eyes upon though my computer screen, I glanced at his biography and have concluded that he has an unhealthy obsession with other writers that are more successful. Although I encourage you to lose yourself to the paradise of The Bugville Critters Visit Mom and Dad at Work or Microsoft® Windows® XP Professional Administrator's Pocket Consultant or Dark Path - Elf Queen's Quest. They are all of similar literary composure and understanding. So let's cut Robert a break guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Marquis de Leech Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Time for another Stanek excerpt: Across the vast open countryside, on the far side of the summer parade grounds, lay the palace stables. Performing his perfunctory duty as acting sergeant delayed Emel and by the time he arrived at the palace stables the others of his company had been and gone. His steed, fittingly dubbed Ebony Lightning because it was jet black and could outpace even stallions bred for the king's swiftest messengers, still waited its stall. He had known the appropriate time of first formation and so he had not hurried - then he had still had a full half hour. There was a reason Ebony Lightning was the swiftest steed in Imtal Proper and maybe even in all the land, and that was because of the special bond between horse and rider. Before and after every ride, Emel rubbed the horse down from the poll of its head to the dock of its tail, up and down each powerful leg. In his proud eyes Ebony was the tallest stallion in all the lands high, and when Emel rode him it was from this height that he looked down upon the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 This horse is... streamlined! (BAM!)This horse is... equine! (BAM BAM!)This horse is... boooooooooooooo vine! (yeah!) It's Ebony Lightning! I did not know that to make a horse the fastest in the land, all you had to do was stroke it. I think, based on this new knowledge, I shall head down the racetrack with my entire life savings this afternoon. Seeya, suckers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 that was because of the special bond between horse and rider. Before and after every ride, Emel rubbed the horse down from the poll of its head to the dock of its tail, up and down each powerful leg. this is swiftian:As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and kissed me; at which, having not been used to the touch of that odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an hour. At the time I am writing, it is five years since my last return to England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or children in my presence; the very smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two young stone-horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the groom is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and friendship to each other. (GT, IV.xi emphasis added). like gulliver, stanek's protagonist be fucking the houyhnhnms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagilki Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 So, to make horses faster you have sexual relations with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Or maybe just threaten to, and then they run the fuck away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myrddin Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 So, to make horses faster you have sexual relations with them? Or maybe just threaten to, and then they run the fuck away? You're both right. You lean forward in the saddle and whisper all the carnal things you want to do, and the horse will run like the wind. "After I will fondle your poll, I will slide my hands down your flowing mane...." Ok, I feel dirty now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ded As Ned Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 This horse is... streamlined! (BAM!) This horse is... equine! (BAM BAM!) This horse is... boooooooooooooo vine! (yeah!) It's Ebony Lightning! I did not know that to make a horse the fastest in the land, all you had to do was stroke it. I think, based on this new knowledge, I shall head down the racetrack with my entire life savings this afternoon. Seeya, suckers! Min you just made me snort vodka and cran juice out my nose. I thought I would note the occasion as I'm sure that has to be a first for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Ebony Lightning? That's kinda...just...I don't know...it's just...original... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTallhart Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Me too, I mean how much worse can he be than Goodkind? What's wrong with Goodkind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 uh oh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagilki Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Things are about to get interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthmail Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 Abort! Abort! Incoming missile threat. All hands on deck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dietl Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 What's wrong with Goodkind? He isn't very popular on this board because of "philosophical differences in opinion". Better not to talk about it. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.