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Dating #16- why can't my mom come on our date


Kelli Fury

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Found myself looking back at previous relationships and came to the realisation that I have never actually had a proper "first date". The thought of one terrifies me :lol:

I think in one of the first dating threads a UK boarder said that you all don't date, but if you have drunken sex a few times you might end up with girlfriend/boyfriend.

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I think in one of the first dating threads a UK boarder said that you all don't date, but if you have drunken sex a few times you might end up with girlfriend/boyfriend.

That is essentially how all my relationships have started. But I hardly ever go out nowadays so I am fucked ha.

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I think in one of the first dating threads a UK boarder said that you all don't date, but if you have drunken sex a few times you might end up with girlfriend/boyfriend.

That has been how most of my love life has played out.

Sometimes it works against you though, ex husband was basically a one night stand that wouldn't leave until eventually I got used to having him around.

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It's shitty because if it's just that he isn't doing well financially despite you liking him and getting along with him, and you're going with your stated goal of wanting to just have fun and not do anything serious, there is very little that his financial situation limits. It's being entirely superficial and judging on something that is particularly unimportant for what you want but oddly important to you.

It's one thing if you didn't get along or didn't hit it off because your social strata and life experiences were so different. They're not. He's just broke right now. And it bothers you that he's broke because you don't like dating people who don't have money.

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Agreed, there's also something about an adult person who chooses to go home to squalor or to a mattress on the floor that screams, "I do not respect myself enough to live well."



In addition, as an adult who spent most of their adult years raising kids my free time is precious to me. If it's a booty call, great. After an hour biology's demands have been met and I still have the rest of Friday night to pursue my interests. If my interests (modest, mostly) don't coincide with someone else's than they don't get to come with me.



Period.



Even if it's my boyfriend, even if it's my kid.



Why invite someone into your life who doesn't share your interests on some level or another on how to spend free time. It doesn't matter what the reason is. I hate horror flicks, non-sf action films, parties where I don't know anyone and very loud dance clubs. If there's no common ground with someone else I don't care if it's financial or preferential. I'll spend my time elsewhere.




In addition I've dated too many people who were willing to go out on my dime because, "that's what I wanted to do." I found it interesting that they never suggested anything fun within their means that I would like too. For example, I love biking around town and going to art galleries. I like spending the day at city park. I got nothing from the types that were happy to spend my money except, "let's stay home."


Good for you Chats. That's two big red flags for me. Run away screaming. Dates should be fun.



Kay, good luck tomorrow.



Gary called, he's fine and out for at least three more weeks with lengthy radio silence. Thanks for the well-wishes, I read them today after class and he called right afterwards. Y'all work majic.



Edit: Angry touchpad moved a whole paragraph. Sigh. Technology.


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Since when did beds and mattresses became symbols of social status and self-respect? My bed broke down once and I found that I preferred to sleep on the mattress on the floor so I kept it that way for more than year until I moved from that house. I don't remember a single negative about doing so.


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