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Books Summarized by Someone Who Has Not Read The Book


Maithanet

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I found this Toast article pretty amusing. The premise is books, badly summarized by someone who didn't bother to really read the book. IMO, the best were:

“A backpack, a sleeping bag, a canteen, a shaving kit, some food, a gun, and some ammunition. And an extra pair of boots, in case something happens to my boots. Well, that’s pretty much it, fellas. Everything you’ll need to carry for Vietnam.”
The Things They Carried


“I think the yellow wallpaper looks best,” she said.
“How right you are.”

They were always happy afterwards that they had chosen the yellow wallpaper. It looked so much better than the green had.
The Yellow Wallpaper

I figured this might be a good thread for the forum, given the multitude of Fantasy and Sci-Fi Novels with outlandish names.

Why did I become a magician? Mostly for the respect you can get from the audience, not to mention the fame.

- The Prestige

His castle was truly impervious to any attack. He found it be to quite safe.

- The Man in the High Castle

Going into battle is the only way to become a hero, and this battle had more than it's fair share.

- The Heroes


Isn't that the sequel to The Road, where we found out that dragons caused the apocalypse?

- The Dragon's Path

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When the sun is dying and the World draws to its end, the knives will come out, and land and sea shall run red with blood.

Red Seas Under Red Skies

The emotional tale of an aged man, crippled with arthritis, trapped in a waking nightmare, trying desperately to reach his daughter in spite of his ailments.

City of Stairs.

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The emotional tale of an aged man, crippled with arthritis, trapped in a waking nightmare, trying desperately to reach his daughter in spite of his ailments.

City of Stairs.

Nice.

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"Oh! The wind is strong tonight" she said, "it always blew me over".


-


Gone With The Wind.



There was once a city and there was also another city. The end.


- A Tale of Two Cities.



Sonic the Hedgehog was very proud of himself as had collected many rings that day. More rings than anyone else had ever collected before.



- Lord of the Rings.



I'm not very good at these lol :lol:

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Zeus and Apollo inspected their bags on the way out of Walmart. Yep, ribs, barbecue sauce, popsicles, fireworks... all ready for July 4th. Truly, they could now call themselves American gods now.



-American Gods




"Hmm," said Dr. Brown.


"What do you think it is?" said her student, sifting through the sand slowly.


"Well, the wind is coming from predominantly one direction at this location, and given the crescent shape..."


"You would classify it as barchan!"


Dr. Brown beamed. Truly, her student had learned her geomorphology well.



-Dune




He inspected his farm. No wheat, soybeans or corn to be found. He had rejected the subsidies, for better or worse. He would be a self-made man. Only chickens, cows and horses.



-Animal Farm

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Zeus and Apollo inspected their bags on the way out of Walmart. Yep, ribs, barbecue sauce, popsicles, fireworks... all ready for July 4th. Truly, they could now call themselves American gods now.

-American Gods

"Hmm," said Dr. Brown.

"What do you think it is?" said her student, sifting through the sand slowly.

"Well, the wind is coming from predominantly one direction at this location, and given the crescent shape..."

"You would classify it as barchan!"

Dr. Brown beamed. Truly, her student had learned her geomorphology well.

-Dune

He inspected his farm. No wheat, soybeans or corn to be found. He had rejected the subsidies, for better or worse. He would be a self-made man. Only chickens, cows and horses.

-Animal Farm

:bowdown:

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Yeah, we're real police, got uniforms and everything. Oy, cold out here, innit? Pay attention, there could be criminals on the loose.



-Watchmen




Ocean currents are typically called by the direction toward which they are traveling. Conversely, winds are called by the direction of their origin, so a sea breeze or onshore breeze is one that blows from the ocean toward the land, usually due to unequal heating of land and water during the day.



-The Name of the Wind




The ocean is vast. Vast, and full of biodiversity. Many are the schools of fishes, and many are the games the fishes play. Water polo is a particular favorite sport. Each fish keeps to its own variety and they do not play well with others. There is a league for the mackerel and a league for the halibut and even a league for the lamprey, because no one else can stand looking at those disgusting jawless types.



-20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

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It had been a long and tedious day already - and now this latest minor disaster. Chalion had really had enough. "Oh, for fuck's sake", he muttered to himself quietly.
=The Curse of Chalion

At least the Trotskyists, Greens and libertarians could agree on one thing: four over three obviously was the best number.
-The Star Fraction

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Finnigan wakes up, only to find out he's still dreaming... In another language.

-Finnigan's Wake

A six hundred page visitor's guide to Salinas Valley.

-East of Eden

Old school selfies document the life of an artist growing up in the early 1900's

-A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man

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"Who do you recommend?"

"How about... Phlebas?" I suggested.

"Hm," she said. "I'll have to give that some serious thought."

:thumbsup:

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