The Biggest Secret Identity Reveal in All of ASOIAF (bigger than R+L=J)!

[Codename: Nymeria]

Hello all.

 

So, this is the first forum I’ve contributed to in a while, and I’ve enjoyed it thoroughly. As such, I wanted to make a real contribution to the zeitgeist of the site. Here goes nothing.

 

One thing I’ve learned from these forums so far is that everyone in ASOIAF has a secret identity.  Jon Snow is a secret Targaryen. Tyrion Lannister is secretly a Targaryen. Euron Greyon is secretly Daario Naaharis. Varys is secretly a Blackfyre. (f)Aegon is secretly Varys and Illyrio’s love child. Ned is secretly Rhaegar. Ashara Dayne is secretly Septa Lemore. Rhaenys Targaryen is secretly Joanna Lannister. I’m fairly certain, in the next book, we will learn that Drogon is secretly Rhaegal. And, of course, everyone is secretly Jaqen H’ghar.

 

This led me to question why the author of the series is so concerned with secret identities. Why write a whole epic in which every single character is actually someone entire different than they claim to be? All of the sudden, it hit me, and it now seems obvious in retrospect: George RR Martin is not the real identity of the author. No, the real author of the series is simply using that name as a secret identity.

 

Once this became clear, I began to consider who the real writer of the series maybe. In particular, I noticed the title of the larger work is A Song of Ice and Fire. This clearly indicates that the actual author of the series is a songwriter, and one with a large catalog of songs that hint at the themes in ASOIAF.

 

After some consideration, I was able to figure out the identity of the band. I’m not going to reveal it at this moment (you can skip to the bottom of the post if you’re so desperate). Instead, let me take you through it.

Said band has a 30-year catalog of music that includes a wide variety of mythological and philosophical references which predate the series, many of which, upon analysis, hint at the story of ASOIAF.

Consider, for a moment, one such song by said band, called “Dire Wolf.” Consider the following:

 

 

The Wolf came in, I got my cards, we sat down for a game. I cut my deck to the Queen of Spades, but the cards were all the same.

 

The basic plot for “A Game of Thrones is contained therein. “The Wolf”, of course, refers to Eddard Stark, who is “dealt in” to a game, but no matter what he does, is constantly confronted by the Queen of Spades (an obvious reference to Cersei). The chorus of the songs echoes Eddard’s position at the end of the first book:

 

Don't murder me, I beg of you, don't murder me. Please, don't murder me.

 

Now, Archer, you may be saying, you may be incredibly handsome and great at hand-to-hand combat, but one song, however clearly it syncs up, does not prove anything.

 

Well, consider another of said band’s songs, “Ramble On Rose.”

 

Just like Jack and Jill, Mama told the jailor, one hear up, and one cool down, leave nothin' for the tailor.

 

The song itself is clearly referencing the Tyrells, who sigil is, of course, a rose. ‘Mama’ Tyrell is Olenna, and the verse refers to her plotting with Varys to poison Joffrey. Just like Jack (Joffrey) and Jill (Margaery), Olenna needs ‘Jack’ to break his crown, and is okay with Margaery tumbling after. Varys is the ‘jailor’, for obvious reasons. ‘One hear up’ refers to Tyrion (whom everyone hears accused of the crime), and ‘one cool down’ is for Joffrey, who cools all the way down to death. ‘Tailor’ is being used as a euphemism for ‘doctor’, and Olenna is choosing her poison to make sure a doctor can't revive Joffrey.

 

Ah, but you want something a little less subtle, you say? Well, consider another song by this band: “Dark Star”. Does that name sound familiar? It begins as such:

 

Dark star crashes, pouring its light into ashes. Reason tatters, the forces tear loose from the axis.

 

‘Dark star’, of course, is Gerald Dayne, who has taken the light that is his birthright as a Dayne, and allowed it to turn to dark and ashes. As he loses his reason, he begins to ‘tear loose’ the fabrics that hold together Westerosi society from their axis, by attacking Myrcella.

 

Still not obvious enough? That's okay, because the same band has a song called "Fire on the Mountain", which contains the following lyrics:

 

There's a dragon with matches, that's loose on the town. Takes a whole pail of water just to cool him down.

 

This is clearly an indication of the upcoming battle royale between dragons and the Others (a "whole pail of water"). Specifically, I suspect we will see one of the dragons go rogue, and attempt to burn down a location we're familiar with. The others' ice magic will stop said dragon. Don't think this song anticipates the next book? Check out the next verse:

 

If Mercy's a business, I wish it for you; More than just ashes, when your dreams come true.

 

This is obviously a reference to Arya's future. The "business" she's engaged in is that of the FM. However, when her dreams (of avenging her family) ultimately do come true, there will be more than just "ashes" (ie, there will be other Starks remaining).

 

Oh, it goes further my friends. Check out the lyrics to "Franklin's Tower":

 

Some come to laugh their past away, some come to make it just one more day; Whichever way your pleasure tends, if you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind.

 

Again, this is a clear reference to the Tower of Joy, under slightly different guise. Rhaegar arrived at the ToJ to "laugh his past away", as he was clearly uncomfortable in his role as future King of Westeros. Eddard, on the other hand, came to "make it just one more day" - to end the war, and try and keep his family alive. Even more ominous in the warning in the second line; if Rhaegar harvests ice (symbolized by Lyanna), he will harvest "wind", a clear symbol for change. 

 

Speaking of Rhaegar, consider the opening lyrics from "Ripple":

 

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine; and my tunes were played on the harp unstrung.

 

This is a plaintitive cry by Rhaegar; he wishes he had the influence with his father that the gold (Tywin Lannister) or the sunshine (the Martell family, whom Aerys allowed into his bloodline). Now, harps are known for playing sad songs; the second line alludes to Rhaegar's wish that he no longer has to accompany himself on the harp, but can unstring it and play a happier instrument.

 

Now, a band that wrote all these songs would presumably have a name related to the World of Ice and Fire, correct? You'd want a name that indicates you have knowledge of ASOIAF, but something that doesn't give it straight away. This rules out "The Maesters." What's another group on Planetos that maintains a large base of knowledge? How about the Warlocks?

 

Well, it just so happens that a band known as "The Warlocks" formed in 1965, and is responsible for all the lyrics I've quoted. Shortly after they began playing, the real GRRM realized that Warlocks would only really have historical knowledge of Essos, not Westeros, so he had the band change their name to something more all-encompassing. Really, who are the only ones who know the full history of Planetos? That's right, it's the dead. Only, some of the dead on Planteos, the wights, are clearly wicked and evil. Those who died and burned, or were otherwise not wighted, were presumably very happy not to be undead. Hence, the band became known as the Grateful Dead.

 

Now, if you're familiar with the Dead, you'll note a couple more interesting facts. For one, their members have toured before as a group known as the Other Ones. Even more significantly, their mascot is a dancing bear. You're expecting a Mormont reference here, aren't you? Nope:

 

"Someone once told me that the commons love nothing half so much as dancing bears. You may call a halt to this feast tonight as well. Send the lords home to their own keeps and give the food to the hungry. Full bellies and dancing bears shall be my policy."

- Aegon III Targaryen. 

 

There you have it, straight from the Dragonbane's mouth. The Dead were the "dancing bears" that kept the commonfolk content until the author get fully put the world of Westeros together.

 

The last nail in the coffin?

 

Well, on August 6, 1996, A Game of Thrones was published for the first time by a then little-known, middle-aged, dumpy-looking white guy with a big fluffy beard, by the name of 'George R. R. Martin.'

 

Three days less than exactly one year earlier on August 9, 1995, the lead singer of the Grateful Dead, a middle-aged, dumpy-looking white guy with a big fluffy beard, who seemed to be extremely weary of the fame he had attracted, by the name of Jerry Garcia passed away. Or, so we are told. But I trust the above has made it clear: Jerry Garcia didn't die. George R.R. Martin is secretly Jerry Garcia. And now you know.

 

[mic drop]

 

ETA: Thank you all for your kind words! I knew the more open-minded people on this forum would give this clearly airtight theory a chance.

 

I would be remiss if I did not point out that I completely left out the song that has the biggest clues of all: "Uncle John's [sic] band". I think it's fairly obvious George/Jerry decided to drop the "h" somewhere between the writing of that song and the writing of the novel. However, consider the following:

 

It's a buck dancer's choice my friend, better take my advice; you know all the rules by now and the fire from the ice. 

 

Clearly, this is the author's advice to Jon Snow. He's received the Pink Letter from Stannis (the "buck dancer"), and even though he now understands the rules of the game, he nonetheless turns his back on the upcoming battle of fire and ice to march southward. A few stanzas later, we are told:

 

It's the same story the crow told me, it's the only one he knows; like the morning sun you come, and like the wind you blow.

 

The crow is, of course, Jon, and the line is a warning about his fate. The story he has told the other members of the NW about the Others is the correct one ("the only one he knows"). Soon, Jon will arise ("like the morning sun you come"), and when he does, he will bring great changes with him ("like the wind you blow").

 

And then, of course, there's the line that is repeated throughout the song, spoken as if by Jon himself:

 

Whoa, oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?

 

After all, Jon's quest is to discover the song of Ice and Fire.

 

Can't believe I almost left that one out.

[Lady Blackmont]

Oh my God...

It all makes sense now.

[Ser Maverick]

Greatest thread in the history of threads

[falcotron]

You're unfairly ignoring the fact that Covenant--who have used synthesized harps in two of their biggest hits--have far more songs about winter coming than any post-dead jam band.

Now, one possible explanation is rhat, like 99.99% of Americans, 99.9% of Europeans, and 99% of Swedes, you just have no idea who the hell Covenant are. I will admit that this is just barely possible.

But far more likely, you are Eskil, and also GRR Martin, trying to dissuade us from noticing the fact that you already used all these ideas with your late 90s futurepop band and, frustrated that you never quite broke #2 on the European alternative charts, have instead turned your lyrics into a series of novels, in hoped they won't be judged the same way.

As LmL has repeatedly pointed out, you've made extensive use of Scandinavian/Viklng mythologY. It's hard to make that more obvious than in the song "Call the Ships to Port", but you managed to pull it off in the Damphair chapters. Just barely (everything he says could be a Covenant song, but isn't), but still, that's why you're a genius whose novels we read, even when you troll (notice the Swedish connection to trolls) your own fan club like this.

[Sly Wren]

Three days less than exactly one year earlier on August 9, 1995, the lead singer of the Grateful Dead, a middle-aged, dumpy-looking white guy with a big fluffy beard, who seemed to be extremely weary of the fame he had attracted, by the name of Jerry Garcia passed away. Or, so we are told. But I trust the above has made it clear: Jerry Garcia didn't die. George R.R. Martin is secretly Jerry Garcia. And now you know.

 

[mic drop]

 

Your insight is impeccable. Your logic unassailable. But I think your conclusions might be a bit too modest. Perhaps you didn't think we were ready for the truth. But I think we are. 

 

Without doubt, the songs of the Grateful Dead provide astounding foreshadowing and insight into "Martin's" books. All the examples you listed and many more--the lyrics for "Rosemary" seem particularly haunting re: Lyanna.

 

But when discussing the influences BY the Grateful Dead on the novels, you left out the influences ON the Grateful Dead by the folk music and blues preceding it.

 

Drawing on a folk tradition of "Singers" and the stories of all people, especially the downtrodden and marginalized who are treated like "Children," brought into inspiration by the ingestion of "substances" which bring in-"sight" and "vision," and a reluctance to continue in the world at large, but frequently retiring to his own isolated "cave"--Martin/Garcia is Bloodraven. He made himself less mobile and less substantial in the novels so we would miss the parallel. So fans wouldn't seek him out for more insights than they already do. So he could have some peace. But his wisdom transcends all--he is THE Greenseer.

 

Unless I myself am partaking of substances.

 

And, by the way, since we now know that Drogon is Rhaegal, can be revealed that Lady is Drogon, right? Or should I have put that in a spoiler? 

[RomKat]

 

 

One thing I’ve learned from these forums so far is that everyone in ASOIAF has a secret identity.  Jon Snow is a secret Targaryen. Tyrion Lannister is secretly a Targaryen. Euron Greyon is secretly Daario Naaharis. Varys is secretly a Blackfyre. (f)Aegon is secretly Varys and Illyrio’s love child. Ned is secretly Rhaegar. Ashara Dayne is secretly Septa Lemore. Rhaenys Targaryen is secretly Joanna Lannister. I’m fairly certain, in the next book, we will learn that Drogon is secretly Rhaegal. And, of course, everyone is secretly Jaqen H’ghar.

 

 

Can we get this on a shirt or a plaque or something to commemorate how amazing this paragraph is? I just yelled at people in the next room to come read this and I haven't gotten past this paragraph because I'm crying from laughing so hard, as are my roommates. 

[RGBeyondAsshai]

I love that so much it inspired me.

There's a possible twist on your amazing theory...

 

in 1985 the popular science fiction series Twilight Zone was reborn for a new generation. The classic theme music was even given a new sound by a super famous band called the Grateful Dead.

in 1986 a little known writer wrote 5 segments for this new Twilight Zone. His name was George.

The Road Less Traveled about a man meeting himself from an alternate universe

The Toys of Caliban about parents afraid of their child who can turn anything imagined into reality

Lost and Found about time travelers collecting keepsakes from a future president

The Once and Future King about an Elvis impersonator who, following a car accident, actually becomes Elvis (this feels connected musically) :)

and

The Last Defender of Camelot about well, Lancelot and Merlin :)

 

Not only do the clues in the story lines seem obvious, BUT it is a well known and indisputable fact that everyone who worked on the show and their families received free tickets to see the Grateful Dead in concert!!

 

My twist on your theory is this:

There was a George and a Jerry. They met backstage in the 1980s, marveled over how much each looked like the other and shared their stories. George mentioned his secret love of music and all things Dead, while Jerry envied George's ability to build worlds for a living. They became closer than brothers and one night, when Jerry was frustrated with fame and thinking of breaking up the band, the two of them hatched a plan to swap places. 

 

George became Jerry and got to live out his last few years fulfilling his secret rock star dreams and Jerry got to flesh out his song lyrics into the Song of Ice and Fire that had always been in his head. It was the perfect solution...and no one ever found out. Until today.

 

*mind blown*

[Lady Sharya]

You do know that Martin is a huge "Dead Head" right?

The idea he used their music was rumored (not on this forum). I enjoyed the way you put it all together. Great job.

[Codename: Nymeria]

 

And, by the way, since we now know that Drogon is Rhaegal, can be revealed that Lady is Drogon, right? Or should I have put that in a spoiler? 

 

I think it's fairly obvious once you analyze the post. Of course, you also have to realize that Rhaegal is really Boots, the cat.

[slant]

makes sense

[Berric_Dondiedagain]

OMG-Best post ever-

 I have been thinking about dead references since I heard GRRM say "Ripple" was his favorite song.  I knew Darkstar was included on purpose- but you made me search deep into the vault.  Of course, no need for me to tie it all together, you have already done that for us.  I just have a few more examples to add to bolster your theory for those who claim ye tinfoil! 

I knew Jerry wouldn't leave us!

 

"Right outside the lazy gates, of winter's summer home. Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world."

Winter's summer home is a reference to Winterfell, its lazy gates the wall, and Bran will soon learn to be the eyes of the world

 

"come with me or go alone, he's come to take his children home."

Bran- you can come with me North of the wall or I will go alone- I will take the children of the forest home-

 

"While the fire lights aglow, strange shadows from the flames will grow"

Melissandre shadow babies anyone?

 

"Hi ho the carrion crow, fol de rol de riddle"-

Obviously Bloodraven- the dead crow that speaks in riddles.

 

"The summer sun looked down on him, his mother could but frown on him.  And all the other sound on him. He had to die, you know he had to die...  Their minds remained unbended, he had to die, oh you know he had to die" -

Jon Snow was born under the summer sun, Cat, while not his true mother, definitely frowned on him.  And his buddies in the NW definitely felt, he had to die.

 

"Underfoot the ground is patched with climbing arms of ivy wrapped around the manzanita, Stark and shiny in the breeze"-

Arya Underfoot reference of course.

 

"There's a , whole lot of women, momma, out in the streets in Red today"

R'holler supporters in the streets of Volantis-

 

"Spent a little time on the mountain, spent a little time on the hill, heard some say better run away, Others say better stand still.  Things went down we don't understand but I think in time we will"

The NW was at the base of the FrostFang mountains-,Jon and the Halfhand go there looking for wildlings and on the Fist of the First men- a hill.  They fled the hill while the Others made them dead, or still.  They don't understand what happened but they will when Sam get's back from the Citadel. 

 

"We can share the women we can share the wine" We can share what we got of yours cuz we done shared all of mine"

Tyrion says this to Bronn I think-

 

"If I tell another, what your own lips told to me, let me lay 'neath the roses and my eyes no longer see"

Promise me, Ned!

 

"Mountains of the Moon- bow and bend to me"

Who does Tyrion bend to his side? the clans of the mountains of the Moon

 

"Half of my life, I spent doing time, for some other F%^$er's crime.  The other half found me stumbling around drunk on Burgundy Wine-"

Hello Tyrion!

 

 

And ...so many references - Mason's children-

 

"Mason died on Monday- we bricked him in the wall. All his children grew and grew, they never grew so tall before.  They may never grow so tall again.

We dug him up on Tuesday- he hardly aged a day. Taught us all we ever knew, We never knew so much before, We may never know so much again.

The wall collapsed on Wednesday- we chalked it up to fate.  All his children ran and hid.  We never hid so well before.  Swore we'd never show our face again.

Thursday came and Friday, with fires tall and bright.  Mason's children cooked the stew and cleaned up when the feast was through.  Swore we never had such times before.  Take me to the Reaper Man, to pay back what was loaned.  And if he's in some other land, right it off as stoned."

Mason is Bran the builder- it is rumored people were built into the wall- the children grew- tall- into Giants- We dug up Bloodraven and he taught us everything.  When the wall collapsed it was fate.  The children hid and do not want to show their faces.  The bright fires of R'holler.  The Rat King Stew.  Feast For Crows- and  An obvious reference to Valyria (another land) and the stone men with greyscale.

 

"Like I told you- what I said- STEAL YOUR FACE RIGHT OFF YOUR HEAD."

Need I say anything here?

[BettyCrocker]

the tinfoil hat is complete. All bow down to your wisdom!

[Lady Blizzardborn]

 

I think it's fairly obvious once you analyze the post. Of course, you also have to realize that Rhaegal is really Boots, the cat.

You're way off base there.  Rhaegal is Ser Pounce.  Everybody knows that.

[Lissabeth627]

Ha..two of my faves. ASOIAF and The Dead. Love it!!

[grinny]

It makes do much sense and its do obvious once you see it.
Why didn't I see it at once?
Thanks you so much. Please someone make a YouTube video out of this

[Codename: Nymeria]

You're way off base there.  Rhaegal is Ser Pounce.  Everybody knows that.

 

See, we're meant to think that, but you have to go deeper. The reason Boots is not involved in the whole Ser Pounce/Lady Whiskers mousefight is because Shaggydog is actually standing in for Boots at that point, while Boots is off in Braavos, training to be a faceless kitten. That's why "Boots" didn't try and get the mouse.

[Stonehearted Snake]

GRRM has said the weirwoods are named after Bob Weir.

[Grayce Hornwood]

:bowdown: This is legendary.

[Suzanna Stormborn]

Holy Balls!!! :bowdown:

 

That's it, you won the internet.

[Red Tiger]

Im in fucking tears here :lmao: