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Dumbest Facebook Statuses 3


Rubies & Jade

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From an old guy in the group who no one actually liked:



"Why does it seem like theres something popular going on i.e. Workd Cup all the 'hipsters' come out and hate on it. Are hipsters just being hipsters bc they dont feel 100% in the loop on something they gotta hate on it? Now hating is what haters do, but hating PUBLICLY makes you a hipster"



Now I know what hipsters really are.


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From my young buddy,



Will sir some one message me this moring ask me how i star my day. Will i have my breakfast around 5:30 or 6 am. then i feeds the chicken and feed the bunny rabbit. then i go's from there


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  • 3 weeks later...

Just saw a horrible anti-Semitic post from a girl I went to school with. She's living in Saudi Arabia now. I have to say I was honestly shocked and feel oddly sad.

Eta spelling.

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Just saw a horrible anti-Semitic post from a girl I went to school with. She's living in Saudi Rabia now. I have to say I was honestly shocked and feel oddly sad.

Obviously I have no idea what she said and am not defending discrimination of any kind - but Israel is killing Palestinian civilians left right and centre as we speak. I'm not surprised that someone living in Saudia Arabia is picking up on that kind of sentiment right now.

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Nasty little bully from high school has become an internet meme - 10,000+ comments and 500+ shares. Couldn't have happened to a better person. She's the one on the left, not that you could miss her: https://scontent-b-cdg.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t1.0-9/1511634_703101819712221_1956190799_n.jpg

from your high school???

hahha i'd love if this happened to one of the nastier people i knew.

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from your high school???

hahha i'd love if this happened to one of the nastier people i knew.

Yep, although haven't seen her in years. Maybe she's a nice person now and this is totally undeserved, but she was awful back then, the kind of person who had to tear other people down to feel good about herself.

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  • 2 weeks later...

From a guy who's bullshit I've posted here before:



"He means to say its unfair that its a double standard. A woman can hit a man in the face legally. Some hit men bc they know they're allowed."



This guy apparently believes the assault law doesn't apply to women...


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What is the proper fb etiquette, when a friend and former colleague accidentally clicks on the like/share button under some random Internet porn and it shows up in my feed? Do I tell him that his Family, friends etc. all know about him watching "hot amatuer anal"? Do I remain silent? Do I warn in a general manner (aka Status "Please guys stop liking porn, it shows in my feed") and hope they realize it?


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Is it weird that I never seem to stumble upon dumb statuses? :idea:

you're just not friends with idiots

my personal favourites lately have been by this guy who i sort of love and am CONVINCED he is playing a certain type of character and doing it WELL: background info, this guy used to make weird as fuck youtube vids playing a weird as fuck dude but so well that im sure it was all an act so my friends and i (in our creepy ten girl internet stalking phase) added him on fb years ago and has now sort of developed into a strange familiar internet friendship

initial status:

my wcw is nonexistent cuz my existence doesnt matter to anyone

comments within status:

" Yea but just like how 97.99759976886% of the female pop. won't talk to you, there's a chance"

his response (will use quotes for him)

more like 110% wont talk to me, not even to cuss me out for

the ultimate show of affection would be to never talk to them so i cant ruin their life from them knowing me

more statuses

my wcw is a nonperson because thats the only girl i have a slight chance with ill never be good enough to date a real person

ll pay u to talk to me

my wcw is waves because when they break up on me it feels good unlike when girls break up with me then i wanna die

my wcw is all ugly girls cuz they need to feel important and loved for their personalities which i care about more than looks idk any ugly girls personally but they aint forgotten by me

its exhausting staring at my phone all day waiting for that special someone to text me when they already blocked my number

i hate it when i give my gf my whole paycheck for the week then she wont hangout with me cuz i dont have money to take her out to eat and buy her clothes

i miss the days when "PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!!!" actually meant something, nowadays people see through the desperation and ignore me twice as hard — drinking Everclear.

''drinking everclear'' HAHAHAHAHAH

i dunno im just convinced this can't be real and instead an amazing satire

ETA: obvs i dont understand the quote function

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One woman from a mommy group I belong to started posting daily "belly pics" documenting her pregnancy from the day she got a positive pregnancy test onwards. Her "4 weeks 3 days belly" pic should have been titled "lunch" instead of "baby".

I also have a friend who always posts melodramatic statuses such as "better put on my mask and hide my misery from the world." Pro tip: if you are interested in hiding your misery from the world, don't post about it to your 500 Facebook friends.

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ETA: obvs i dont understand the quote function

I don't think the quote function understand the quote function, tbh.

Anyway your pal defo sounds like a parody, but he's a parody of real people that actually exist that make me both angry and sad. I have a mate a bit like that- he currently has a girlfriend so it's all cool but when he doesn't his FB is constantly 'why can't I get a girl to like me' tragedy. Interspersed with generalised anger at all women for not liking him.

I also have a friend who always posts melodramatic statuses such as "better put on my mask and hide my misery from the world." Pro tip: if you are interested in hiding your misery from the world, don't post about it to your 500 Facebook friends.

Everyone likes a vaguebooker.

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I don't think the quote function understand the quote function, tbh.

Anyway your pal defo sounds like a parody, but he's a parody of real people that actually exist that make me both angry and sad. I have a mate a bit like that- he currently has a girlfriend so it's all cool but when he doesn't his FB is constantly 'why can't I get a girl to like me' tragedy. Interspersed with generalised anger at all women for not liking him.

If it was anyone else but this guy I'd feel super sad and annoyed with it, tbh. But this guy has changed ''characters'' so many times over the years and this one is lasting awhile.

One of my best friends on facebook constantly talks about how much gin she is drinking, it's basically what all her statuses about.

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You don’t have to hear ‘I Love you’ to know that someone does. People speak from the heart more often than you think.


Trust, honesty, love: thing that are rare in friends today



Use me and I’ll tell you that your making the mistake. Throwing away a friend who knows what loyalty is.



Some people are impossible to read. You seek attention but then when it’s given to you you ignore that person and go after someone who doesn’t care. The person who actually cares is asking you how you are, messaging you even when it gets annoying, and wants you as you are rather than around to boost an ego. So open your eyes and see who is actually genuine.



The people who stick with you at your lows show there true character.



#singlelife



Some people need to screw their damn heads on and look at the bigger picture.



Its funny how some people go from being a ‘true friend’ to someone you don’t speak to in a matter of days. Congrats, you’ve lost a true friend who would always stick by you and cared from day 1. [so many smiley face emoticons] –feeling amused



Drama drama drama



I’m not going to give up but I can’t understand why I’m trying



Usually accompanied by lots of people thinking that he's referring to them, and then him always saying that he isn't.


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I really hate this type of status. I'm always tempted to respond as if they're talking to me.

Yeah. He manages to piss a fair few people off, and seemingly never means to (although whether he'd actually admit he was talking about them if confronted...). Being vaguely passive aggressive to everyone you know is just the silliest thing.

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