Creepy

[litechick]

Creep 1: Maintenance guy at my apt building. He made remarks which revealed that he watched me come and go and then one time he made a remark about having 'accidentally' entered my apt while I was gone. It was like "I'm watching and I have power."

(There have been many other creepy maintenance guys who are the more garden variety--opening my door without knocking when I am asleep.)

Creep 2: My building has outdoor balcony/fire escape like things. My window used to be faced on one. I kept one of the blinds up about a foot so the cat could look out. This guy would drop by unexpectedly and put his face in the opening until I noticed him.

[Nichole]

Creep 1: Maintenance guy at my apt building. He made remarks which revealed that he watched me come and go and then one time he made a remark about having 'accidentally' entered my apt while I was gone. It was like "I'm watching and I have power."

(There have been many other creepy maintenance guys who are the more garden variety--opening my door without knocking when I am asleep.)

Creep 2: My building has outdoor balcony/fire escape like things. My window used to be faced on one. I kept one of the blinds up about a foot so the cat could look out. This guy would drop by unexpectedly and put his face in the opening until I noticed him.

Please tell me you contacted management and they fired him. Or really all of them. Entering your apt while you were sleeping?

[Max the Mostly Mediocre]

(There have been many other creepy maintenance guys who are the more garden variety--opening my door without knocking when I am asleep.)

That's garden variety?

Fucking hell.

[Shryke]

I see what you mean. But, a socially awkward person would not masturbate on a bus, or whisper in a teenage girls ear, or follow someone home. Someone mentioned in either this thread or the other that the word "creepy" is used too often. And I would agree. To me creepy is not someone who asks me out and that I do not find attractive.

Also, I agree that not enough women will tell someone outright that someone needs to leave them alone, now. We are taught to be nice, no matter what. Unfortunately, it is this behavior that predators count on.

Aye, I agree. There's a big difference between "Masturbating while whispering in your ear on the bus" and "Gave off a creepy vibe while he was hitting on me".

[Aemon Stark]

It's not as simple as that though. I mean, sometimes social awkward also means "Can't take a fucking hint". I know I was like that when I was younger.

Sometimes the other person is just not getting the hint because they've got no fucking idea how to read it.

Of course, when you get to the flat-out saying "No, go away" stage and they still don't leave, then their fucking creepy. But it's been my observation (and not just AT me btw) that most women will avoid actually outright saying this as much as they can. Often because saying it outright is mean. They'll beat around the bush, trying to avoid making a scene. But sometimes, the other person just isn't any good at the whole "hint" thing.

Me too, though I think it was really only one time. Teenagers are generally stupid that way though.

I'm stunned by some of the creepy stories - getting Nichole to sign a DNR order in a parking garage? It's too bizarre for me even to picture. And who walks around with a DNR order?

[Nichole]

Me too, though I think it was really only one time. Teenagers are generally stupid that way though.

I'm stunned by some of the creepy stories - getting Nichole to sign a DNR order in a parking garage? It's too bizarre for me even to picture. And who walks around with a DNR order?

He didn't have it with him. I'm sure he was willing to drive me to where the DNR form was though. My paranoid belief was he was trying to get me into his car so that he could have complete control over me. But, I do tend to be over dramatic. :P

But really, it was a pretty traumatic experience. I really needed a drink when I got home.

[Guest Raidne]

I think the word creepy gets tossed around a little too freely. I used to live with a couple girls and they used this word to describe pretty much every guy that approached them that they were not intersted in. Sure, it can easily get creepy when someone can't take a hint. But, someone approaching with a normal line of conversation... not automatically creepy.

Many times when I would go out with them, somoene would talk to them, or try to dance with them, and they would come over to me talking about how that guy is creepy. Its like well... you are on the dance floor, people are going to try to dance with you and you might not be attracted to all of them. Of course, sometimes the person was kinda creepy, but generally it was just someone who took an honest swing and missed the ball.

Okay....but you know there's trying to dance with someone, and there's the guy who starts randomly humping your backside.

Or the guy who randomly grabbed my ass on the sidewalk last month.

And, for the record, I can't think of a single nerdy or dorky guy I've ever met that was creepy. I can think of several Republican frat boys.

So if I had to label somebody the creepiest guy on this Board? It's Caliban, hands down. ;)

Can I go father? I actually think "nerdy" and "creepy" are nearly opposites.

[Lord of Oop North]

Yes, stop that, will you? My inbox is filling up.

Does that mean you didn't get my serenade? Fuck.

[Aemon Stark]

Can I go father? I actually think "nerdy" and "creepy" are nearly opposites.

I'm not sure they're opposites so much as simply unrelated. "Nerdy" suggests interests or pasttimes not deemed "mainstream" (epic fantasy novels, anime, Star Trek, or simply highly technical careers/fields). "Creepy" is more of a comment on actual behaviour that seems invasive, unwanted, outside social norms, or all of the above. "Weird" is a good synonym for it too.

[S John]

Okay....but you know there's trying to dance with someone, and there's the guy who starts randomly humping your backside.

Totally.

But I'm pretty sure that humping someone's backside actually does qualify as dancing in some of the places I went with them.

[Bellis]

Also, I agree that not enough women will tell someone outright that someone needs to leave them alone, now. We are taught to be nice, no matter what. Unfortunately, it is this behavior that predators count on.

Mea culpa.

Metz, I was startled that you wanted a hug. I don't generally hug people I have only known for a hour or so, and had initially met on the internet. Also, the circumstances were that people from my workplace were in the vicinity of that conference center lobby, and they knew I was meeting some guy from a fantasy forum, and I didn't want them to see us and get the wrong idea about what that meeting was about.

I feel better now.

[Iskaral Pust]

I agree that women rarely seem creepy, even when being desperate, clingy, stalkerish, etc. It's because there isn't a threatening undertone that women might feel from a creepy guy.

The closest I've seen to a creepy woman was a stalker classmate in university. As her behavior got more and more unbalanced, there were a couple of suicide/white-knight telephone pleas and an ongoing plea for help with her anorexia (because only I could help :rolleyes: ) and even parking outside our house late at night when I had deliberately tried to prevent her learning my new address. And there were some threats of varying levels of intensity against some of my girlfriends over the years.

I don't think I'm a creepy guy, but I do tend to be conservative about interacting with women because I am somewhat self-concious about strangers seeming creepy to women. For example, I was sitting at an airport bar last night waiting for a flight. I had chatted a little with a guy sitting a few seats down, and with the waitress. Then a woman sat at the bar right next to me (there were seats available that were not directly next to anyone) and ordered a drink. I thought that she might be looking for casual conversation while waiting for a flight, but I did not initiate conversation because I want to be respectful of personal space and because as a married man I don't strike up conversations with random women at bars. I just kept watching the soccer game on the TV above the bar. It felt awkward to not acknowledge someone sitting right next to me, but less awkward than to start a conversation in that circumstance.

After a few minutes she did initiate a conversation and we chatted for a while, both nonchalantly making it clear that we were married. Another woman drifted over to join the conversation after a while and the three of us chatted until our flight was called. Although the entire conversation was completely uncreepy, I would have kept on watching the soccer game in silence if she had not initiated the conversation.

Do other guys feel like they need to be reserved like that?

Some of my reserve also comes from being in America. When I am in Ireland, I think nothing of starting a conversation with any random stranger. But the culture of interaction is different here and I haven't yet felt as comfortable about that kind of interaction.

[Aemon Stark]

Evidently I don't feel like being productive tonight, because now I'm reading this. The section on eye contact as regards flirting is really interesting...

[turinturambar]

Totally.

But I'm pretty sure that humping someone's backside actually does qualify as dancing in some of the places I went with them.

Very true. Of course in some clubs you try to dance with a woman and next thing you know she's bending over shoving her ass up in your crotch and simulating doggy-style and you're like......what do I do? Do I go along with it? Am I a creep if I let this go on? Or heaven forbid if I enjoy it? Am I an asshole(or less of a man) if I walk off the floor? Then you look around and realize that simulated sex seems to be the norm on the floor and you remember just why you rarely go to dance clubs in the first place. These clubs are a no-win situation unless you're single and looking for a cheap one-night stand.

[turinturambar]

Evidently I don't feel like being productive tonight, because now I'm reading this. The section on eye contact as regards flirting is really interesting...

That was a good read :love:

[Tormund Ukrainesbane]

I dislike the word creepy, for reasons mentioned by others. I prefer the word ominous. I hear the label "creepy" applied by too many women to too many men as a synonym for "not tall and attractive".

Ex. 1 Ugly man looked at me for more than a second or two: "This creepy guy was totally staring at me".

Ex. 2 Tall, attractive man looked at me for more than a second or two: "This hot guy was totally checking me out"

As a not-tall and attractive man it's quite disheartening to hear yourself referred to as creepy, and your tall-attractive friend greeted warmly for the same behavior. This bastardization of the word makes me prefer "ominous" as I feel it better captures what the user is trying to communicate. That said, I knew a girl in high school who would put dead rats in the locker of a boy she liked. Creepy, ominous, whatever, that's fucked up.

[Aemon Stark]

Do other guys feel like they need to be reserved like that?

Some of my reserve also comes from being in America. When I am in Ireland, I think nothing of starting a conversation with any random stranger. But the culture of interaction is different here and I haven't yet felt as comfortable about that kind of interaction.

Sometimes, but it's something I've gradually shed since moving to Nova Scotia many years ago. Such reservation seems to be more of a big anonymous city thing, so much so that I find it very strange when I'm in Toronto. I feel like I had a relapse of unfriendly Ontario-ness last year, but I think I've recovered to the point that I was asked whether I'm sure I'm not from Cape Breton a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure.

[ztemhead]

Metz, I was startled that you wanted a hug. I don't generally hug people I have only known for a hour or so, and had initially met on the internet. Also, the circumstances were that people from my workplace were in the vicinity of that conference center lobby, and they knew I was meeting some guy from a fantasy forum, and I didn't want them to see us and get the wrong idea about what that meeting was about.

I feel better now.

I'm a hugger. I wasn't always, but the last few years I've started taking the tack that it's better to hug than to not. And yeah, I hug dudes too. I think the creepiest hug I ever gave was to Lodengarl a few years back. I can clearly remember the shocked look on his face. Good times. ;)

anyway, Bellis- sorry for the potential embarassment/ uncomfortableness. :grouphug:

[Lightning Lord]

I am now very concerned about being found creepy. I wasn't before. I am not very good at meeting girls when out at bars or clubs or whatever. Most of the women in my life, dating-wise, have been people that knew me somehow, through some organization or club and we started as friends. Now that I live in a large city with a relatively small English-speaking population, that is no longer possible. Everyone knows everyone kind of thing.

Bother. Being single is a pain in the ass.

And yes, a creepy girl is one who wants a baby, willing to do just about whatever is necessary. I dated a girl for 2 weeks, had talked about how it had to be casual, then found out she was trying to get me to get her pregnant. And that "if I loved her, I would come back." This said to a mutual friend. I ran. :leaving:

[Lord O' Bones]

I got your 50 foot pole right here. :leer: