Tyrion Lannister brought down by Sansa Stark.....

[Woman of War]

Agreed.

It isn't as much of a cultural difference as a very vocal group of fans on this site. Other sites have a much more balanced view of both Tyrion and Sansa acknowledging both the good and bad of each of them and therefore a more balanced view of the interaction between the two.

Welcome Jellyfish,

I have to agree here. Those who dislike Tyrion are but a very vocal group within these forums. There has been a thread "Poll: Favorite character" (not: favorite roommate, I as well could do without a drunkard in my house) where Tyrion came second after Arya who was by far the most liked, and this shows that readers interested in Tyrion are a silent majority. And there have been hugely interesting "Tyrion reread" threads in the reread part where people analysed this so very compelling character in an unbiased manner, no worshipping, no blackwashing but the attempt to really grasp the character.

And I have to defend some Tyrion "dislikers" who know very well to distinguish between his actions, his personality and his value as protagonist. Dislike is always allowed and not disrespectful towards those who love a character and the character himself wiil hardly object.

Unfortunately not all posters are able to keep their cool, some see their own infatuation with a character as center of the world and every other protagonist coming in conflict with their fave must therefore be the darkest of dark. As if their favorite could only shine at the expense of the other. Alien to me, but, umm, I am not young either, at least not young enough for this kind of fandom.

[Jon Weirgaryen]

but who would not forgive a thirteen year old

Since you are asking: her family members, at least for a while.

It does not matter in Sansa's case.

[Jellyfish]

Since you are asking: her family members, at least for a while.

It does not matter in Sansa's case.

maybe Sansa will not forgive herself that she betrayed her father even if he would have been executed anyway. But as soon as she is older and understands what she did this guilt, imagined or real, may make her bitter. And it is the worst that can happen to a child: to see her parent die that way. In comparison she got away lightly with her wedding to Tyrion, he did not harm her and now Sansa will not have to marry another idiot instead.

why should they hate each other?

[Le Cygne]

@Le Cygne.

Not to disrespect your detailed post, but in all honesty I don't think the specific circumstances of Sansa and Tyrion's marriage and time at KL are really relevant to this discussion. What matters In this thread is Sansa and Tyrion's opinion of one another - Which is neutral leaning ever so slightly towards positive. I really don't see how this can in any way be denied because Sansa outright admits she considers Tyrion kind in her internal monologue (the reason for not saying it out-loud quite obviously being that she's in the company of someone who hates Tyrion.). There are other quotes which show less fondness, but none of them show any hate. It could well go either way, but I think if they were to meet in a situation outside of their marriage/Sansa's captivity that they could easily become allies.

I was citing passages from the most recent books, and for both, the marriage has shaped how they feel, so it's certainly relevant. Even Tyrion feels badly for what he did to her, however fleetingly, as evidenced by his nightmare of the wedding night (and she had her own nightmare of the wedding night). I see no shift in the way they think about each other at all, you keep citing one passage in which she herself, who is known for courtesy, realizes it's not going to fly to say someone is kind for not raping you after forcibly marrying you. Also you are changing what you said, if you had said they don't hate each other but may be allies, I wouldn't have responded. I would have thought it very unlikely, because I don't see indications of this in the text, either, but this is what I was responding to, as I quoted:

She thinks that he was kind to her in her second to last ASOS chapter when she's talking with Lysa. I think there's a fair bit of mutual respect there. Outside of an awkward marriage I could more easily see the two being allies than enemies.

Compared to him and Jorah, Tyrion and Sansa have a friendly rapport. So far as I'm aware Tyrion never has any hateful or even grudging thoughts towards Sansa. And nor does Sansa have any towards him.

[protar]

I was citing passages from the most recent books, and for both, the marriage has shaped how they feel, so it's certainly relevant. Even Tyrion feels badly for what he did to her, however fleetingly, as evidenced by his nightmare of the wedding night (and she had her own nightmare of the wedding night). I see no shift in the way they think about each other at all, you keep citing one passage in which she herself, who is known for courtesy, realizes it's not going to fly to say someone is kind for not raping you after forcibly marrying you. Also you are changing what you said, if you had said they don't hate each other but may be allies, I wouldn't have responded. I would have thought it very unlikely, because I don't see indications of this in the text, either, but this is what I was responding to, as I quoted:

She realises that it's not going to fly to say Tyrion was kind to her because she's talking to Lysa Arryn who hates Tyrion and Sansa is expected (as their hostage) to hate all Lannisters. If Sansa didn't believe that Tyrion had been kind to her it wouldn't have come up in her internal monologue at all. I see no point in attributing other meanings to what is in my mind a very unambiguous statement.

I also haven't changed my argument. I believe that they both have mutual respect for one another. I thought it was quite clear that my comment about their friendly rapport was tongue in cheek to a degree. I was just pointing out that if Tyrion can make an ally with someone who kidnapped him and locked him in chains, he can almost certainly make an ally of Sansa.

I forgot a few begrudging thoughts from ADWD, but I see nothing that indicates any hate or even particular dislike. So I stand by what I've said before: Their stance to one another is mostly neutral, but with mutual respect and I believe they are more likely to become allies than enemies.

P.S I still believe the actual circumstances of the marriage aren't entirely relevant. They certainly shape Sansa and Tyrion's feelings for each other, but it would be best to look at the text after their marriage to really determine those feelings. The marriage is after all an incendiary topic and there's a great risk of it devolving into a flame war where people snip back and forth over whether or not Tyrion could have done anything about the marriage. And that is irrelevant, imo.

[Rara Avis]

I agree, she meant it would not fly with Lysa. Of course it's pretty sad that this is what passes for kindness in her world, but after Joffrey and Cersei, here you are.

I know my dislike doesn't stem from loving Sansa. I was long bothered by character, though I liked him in the beginning, and then any sympathy died by slow steps, with his marriage to Sansa playing a big role, and finalizing with killing of Shae and then to put insult to injury, his TWOW behavior.

ETA: Unfortunately, in TWOW, completely separately from his disgusting conduct, he also unexpectedly bored me silly. But then it goes for many characters.

~ Cruella

[Jon Weirgaryen]

[...] and then to put insult to injury, his TWOW behavior.

ETA: Unfortunately, in TWOW, completely separately from his disgusting conduct, he also unexpectedly bored me silly.

Did you mean actually want to say Winds or rather Dance? Because if you mean Winds (Spoilers...), from the little I saw having been published about the Tyrion chapter, what is insulting?

And newbie on board question: what's "ETA;"? Something about later edit?

[protar]

And newbie on board question: what's "ETA;"? Something about later edit?

Yeah it means "Edited to Add". Or Estimated Time of Arrival but that's not relevant here :p

[Le Cygne]

Tyrion promises to send Sansa home once there is peace. No peace arrives, so he isn't breaking his word. Trying to break Jaime out of jail would have been another way to get to a possible peace, and so he tried. Tyrion stopped the abuse of Sansa from Joffrey upon his arrival at court. But he's still a Lannister, and Sansa's family still holds his brother. Why on earth would he help her escape? That would mean the death of Jaime, for Sansa would certainly tell her family of how Arya was lost, how Joffrey had her beated, and how Ned's corpse was used against her.

He didn't warn her about the wedding, because there was no way it was not going to happen. Instead of telling her and letting her dread the moment for days or maybe weeks, he spared her that little misery.

Yes she cried, and yes, she refused to kneel. All very normal reactions, to us, the readers. But Tyrion sees it differently. She was to become his wife, they would be together one. And she made a mockery out of him, though it doubt she realised that before. Tyrion was ordered the bedding, and so he tried to go through with it, only to find himself uncapable. He did not rape her, and you fault him for that?

Of course he is a bit bitter about how low his own marriage is. Everywhere he looks, especially during Joffrey's wedding, where most of these feeling surface, he seems married couples in love. That's the one thing Tyrion has been missing all his life. Out of all his direct environment, only Jaime has truly shows affection for him. So is it so strange that Tyrion had hoped that Sansa, especially after all the kind things he did for her, would at least warm a bit towards him? That she would at least speak with him?

Also, when he thinks about kissing her, he thinks she would most likely suffer through it. Not that she would cry too much.

Tyrion stands accused of killing Joffrey, and in his confinement, there is not much else to do but think about what happened. Sansa had the motive, bother personal (Joffrey abusing her) and less personal (Joffrey's family responsible for the deaths of her family). He knows Sansa would have had the oppertunity. The cup Joffrey was drinking from was placed right in front of her, and everyone was focussed on Joff and Tyrion fighting. But Tyrion also notes that Sansa couldn't possibly have done it alone, if she had even done it. For where would she get the poison?

Sansa, does think of Tyrion as kind, but she also knows that to Lysa, with whom she is having the conversation, she could never say so, for Lysa hated Tyrion too much to accept such words. And yes, she sees her marriage as a mockery, since that's exactly what it was.

I was responding to someone who indicated there was friendship, respect, and no hard feelings between Sansa and Tyrion, and I was showing that was not the case. But I'll answer your points.

He made a vow to return her, which he broke by not returning her. He forcibly married her, which Catelyn knew meant forcing her to bear his "vile children", that's why she called him a "faithless dwarf" (and Robb thought they would kill her):

When he was done, Catelyn sat frowning. Edmure had been right, these were no terms at all, except ... "Lannister will exchange Arya and Sansa for his brother?"

"Yes. He sat on the Iron Throne and swore it."

"Before witnesses?"

"Before all the court, my lady. And the gods as well."...

"Curious." ... If I could trust his word . . .

The beatings took place while Tyrion was Hand of the King, he was aware of the way Joffrey treated Sansa prior to walking in on a public beating, and it was his duty to ensure the safety of his hostage, which he did not do.

Breaking Jaime out would only diminish any semblance safety for Sansa, who was never safe at all. But Jaime was a prisoner of war, a commander taken on the battlefield, keeping Sansa hostage did not guarantee Jaime's safety.

Catelyn took a chance out of love, sending back a much more valuable prisoner. I don't want to debate if she was wise or not, but that's what one does if one is thinking about the welfare of another. Tyrion was thinking of Jaime, not Sansa.

If you're going to make something out of this, like there's some special regard Tyrion has for Sansa, then this point is relevant.

The part about not warning her about the marriage, that's absurd, being ambushed is the worst possible scenario. And it was certainly possible to escape from Kings Landing, because he escaped, and she escaped.

Tyrion sees the marriage through Tyrion's eyes, and that's the point. He never sees it through Sansa's eyes. Sansa is the one who was grievously wronged here. Tyrion agreed to marry her, read the chapter again. There was no force used with Tyrion (but there was with Sansa).

He was tempted by Winterfell. He gained. She lost. Everything.

And if he had closed the door and said don't worry, I won't rape you, that's one thing. But he was going to go through with it until what conscience he has stopped him. He made her undress and groped her, and then he stopped.

And this still bothers her a great deal:

The memory of her own wedding night with Tyrion was much with her. In the dark, I am the Knight of Flowers, he had said. I could be good to you. But that was only another Lannister lie. A dog can smell a lie, you know, the Hound had told her once. She could almost hear the rough rasp of his voice. Look around you, and take a good whiff. They’re all liars here, and every one better than you. She wondered what had become of Sandor Clegane.

That he was bitter that she rebelled during the ceremony is but another example of him not thinking of Sansa.

He made certain not to look at Sansa, lest his bitterness show in his eyes. You might have knelt, damn you. Would it have been so bloody hard to bend those stiff Stark knees of yours and let me keep a little dignity?

And here's the quote where he's thinking of how little she would cry, and she knows he's thinking this, he keeps pressuring her to make this a real marriage, to the point where she's quite upset about it, and she thinks, why won't he leave her alone?

He looks like a starving child, but I have no food to give him. Why won’t he leave me be?

He wondered what Sansa would do if he leaned over and kissed her right now. Flinch away, most likely. Or be brave and suffer through it, as was her duty. She is nothing if not dutiful, this wife of mine. If he told her that he wished to have her maidenhead tonight, she would suffer that dutifully as well, and weep no more than she had to.

That he thinks she's guilty is not a sign that he knows her, and he didn't stick his neck out for her at the trial by saying no, he deflected the question. How is he "protecting" her if she didn't do it and he didn't cover for her and say she didn't do it? And they think she did.

And again, I think you're misreading the "kind" remark. And even if she was not being overly courteous and stopping herself because she knew Lysa wouldn't buy it, seriously? He was "kind" not to rape her? Does that make sense?

Again, I wouldn't have responded at all, if there wasn't the assertion that there was some special regard that they held for each other.

[Le Cygne]

She realises that it's not going to fly to say Tyrion was kind to her because she's talking to Lysa Arryn who hates Tyrion and Sansa is expected (as their hostage) to hate all Lannisters. If Sansa didn't believe that Tyrion had been kind to her it wouldn't have come up in her internal monologue at all. I see no point in attributing other meanings to what is in my mind a very unambiguous statement.

You're turning one comment about one particular situation (not raping her) into a general remark that he was "kind" to her, which is not supported by all her other comments about him. And disregarding that she really reaches most times to come up with the most courteous spin on things, so for her to be bitter about him and the marriage at other times, speaks volumes.

Furthermore, as a reader, even to take this the way you are taking it, that she truly meant that he was kind not to rape her, even though she's having nightmares about it, seriously? Kind not to rape her? I don't think we are meant to see it that way.

I also haven't changed my argument. I believe that they both have mutual respect for one another. I thought it was quite clear that my comment about their friendly rapport was tongue in cheek to a degree. I was just pointing out that if Tyrion can make an ally with someone who kidnapped him and locked him in chains, he can almost certainly make an ally of Sansa.

I forgot a few begrudging thoughts from ADWD, but I see nothing that indicates any hate or even particular dislike. So I stand by what I've said before: Their stance to one another is mostly neutral, but with mutual respect and I believe they are more likely to become allies than enemies.

I don't think you've made the case for respect, and there is much to contradict this. And you did not mention "hate" in your original post. If you had said they don't hate each other and may become allies some day, I'd have not responded. Hate is a strong word, and I'd characterize their feelings as disinterest if not for lingering feelings of bitterness. And allies, I don't see at all, she said she "hates" Lannisters and I see that conflict, Starks vs. Lannisters, as central to the plot. I don't think it's going to end with them all holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

P.S I still believe the actual circumstances of the marriage aren't entirely relevant. They certainly shape Sansa and Tyrion's feelings for each other, but it would be best to look at the text after their marriage to really determine those feelings. The marriage is after all an incendiary topic and there's a great risk of it devolving into a flame war where people snip back and forth over whether or not Tyrion could have done anything about the marriage. And that is irrelevant, imo.

I don't think it's irrelevant at all to the discussion of "Tyrion brought down by Sansa Stark" and it certainly shapes their thoughts about each other, which was more on the disinterested side prior to the marriage, and are now decidedly bitter.

[protar]

You're turning one comment about one particular situation (not raping her) into a general remark that he was "kind" to her, which is not supported by all her other comments about him. And disregarding that she really reaches most times to come up with the most courteous spin on things, so for her to be bitter about him and the marriage at other times, speaks volumes.

Furthermore, as a reader, even to take this the way you are taking it, that she truly meant that he was kind not to rape her, even though she's having nightmares about it, seriously? Kind not to rape her? I don't think we are meant to see it that way.

I don't think you've made the case for respect, and there is much to contradict this. And you did not mention "hate" in your original post. If you had said they don't hate each other and may become allies some day, I'd have not responded. Hate is a strong word, and I'd characterize their feelings as disinterest if not for lingering feelings of bitterness. And allies, I don't see at all, she said she "hates" Lannisters and I see that conflict, Starks vs. Lannisters, as central to the plot. I don't think it's going to end with them all holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

I don't think it's irrelevant at all to the discussion of "Tyrion brought down by Sansa Stark" and it certainly shapes their thoughts about each other, which was more on the disinterested side prior to the marriage, and are now decidedly bitter.

You're not contextualising it within Westerosi culture. The majority of men would have consummated that marriage. Take Edmure for example. Most people see him as a pretty decent guy overall, if a bit of a doofus, but he also consummates his marriage with an incredibly distressed Roslin. Tyrion refusing to consummate the marriage was incredibly unusual within that culture so yes I don't think it's unusual that Sansa considers him kind because of that act. It's messed up by our standards, but Sansa isn't working within our standards.

I agree that there's feelings of bitterness about the marriage from both of them, but that doesn't necessarily mean they dislike one another. The bitterness is primarily not directed at each other imo, but at the marriage which was forced on both of them (Sansa to a much greater degree.). Is there any specific quote where Sansa blames Tyrion for the marriage (actual question)?

But in any case I don't have ADWD with me, so I can't really do any close analysis.

[Woman of War]

And again, I think you're misreading the "kind" remark. And even if she was not being overly courteous and stopping herself because she know Lysa wouldn't buy it, seriously? He was "kind" not to rape her? Does that make sense?

We are not discussing here how we as modern readers would perceive it if in a wanted or unwanted marriage the husband coerces the wife to sleep with him and worse, if the woman is still a child: as rape.

We are discussing how Sansa sees it. And Sansa was thoroughly unwilling to sleep with Tyrion, yet she was willing to go through with the procedure like through a visit to her dentist: awful but inevitable. She had been brainwashed by that patriarchial system of forced and arranged marriages to see it as her duty to go along with her own abuse. "She did not know what was expected of her. Should she open her legs for him?" So heartbreaking, Sansa seeing it as her wifely duty to agree to her own humiliation. She never expected Tyrion to refrain from consummation. And given this in-story ideological background Tyrion indeed seemed to have been kind to her. In her eyes he did not refrain from sexually abusing a child but from sparing her the unwanted consummation.

So, yes, he did the unexpected: to be kind.

Sansa does not have our insight in womens' and childrens' rights, she thinks in patterns of her time, the child wants to emulate being a good wife, a lady who knows her duties. This is her upbringing, her own septa teaching her hugely misogynistic worldviews and ideals. Reactionary only for our time but the norm in her world even if we see women rebelling and finding their own standards.

Yet in Sansa's eyes Tyrion had been kind at that moment. And by now Tyrion does not know if Sansa poisoned Joffrey, yet he was not willing to implicate her in the trial. While Sansa has reason to believe that Tyrion is innocent and that it was not him who drew her into the murder. No, based on past events Sansa would not have a reason to kill Tyrion and I do not see them directly threatening each other. If a conflict might occur in case Tyrion attacks the Vale and Sansa happens to be there we will see. And so far Sansa is not the person to solve marital problems by murder, divorce Italian style, if she is not violently threatened. Assuming that Tyrion would not try to get free of this marriage in a murderous manner either.

[Rara Avis]

LOL, talk about freudian slip. Now TWOW is certainly something that ETA (in this case, expected to arrive) somewhere in 2021...

[Jon Weirgaryen]

LOL, talk about freudian slip. Now TWOW is certainly something that ETA (in this case, expected to arrive) somewhere in 2021...

OT: Roy Dotrice expects his copy by the middle of December (check my calendar: nearly there) he told us the day before yesterday. So maybe we'll get one some time in 2014. Just dreaming along.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHo_BqKbkCM

http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/100933-roy-dotrice-got-audiobook-narrator-says-george-r-r-martin-has-told-him-hes-got-another-book-nearly-ready/

[butterbumps!]

You're not contextualising it within Westerosi culture. The majority of men would have consummated that marriage. Take Edmure for example. Most people see him as a pretty decent guy overall, if a bit of a doofus, but he also consummates his marriage with an incredibly distressed Roslin. Tyrion refusing to consummate the marriage was incredibly unusual within that culture so yes I don't think it's unusual that Sansa considers him kind because of that act. It's messed up by our standards, but Sansa isn't working within our standards.

I agree that there's feelings of bitterness about the marriage from both of them, but that doesn't necessarily mean they dislike one another. The bitterness is primarily not directed at each other imo, but at the marriage which was forced on both of them (Sansa to a much greater degree.). Is there any specific quote where Sansa blames Tyrion for the marriage (actual question)?

But in any case I don't have ADWD with me, so I can't really do any close analysis.

I don't think comparison to Edmure works here to view Tyrion's reaction as being unusual. The marriages are structurally incredibly different, and importantly, we see Edmure and Roslin behaving sweetly with each other and showing what is apparently genuine affection. We also know that Roslin's tears are sorrow for the fate of Edmure and his family, not herself. I'd argue that both Tyrion-Sansa and the RW were highly exceptional marriages from the norm, and therefore, can't be taken as indicative.

In truth, we don't know what would be "usual" for the groom to do in Tyrion's circumstance, especially without Tywin as the groom's father. But we do know that in cases of complete duress and non-consent, taking a woman forcefully in marriage and bedding is abhorrent (see the North's reaction to Lady Hornwood).

In terms of the "kind" comment, I'm not sure that we, nor Sansa necessarily see it as "kind" in a truly objective sense. That is, Tyrion was exponentially more gentle than the other Lannisters, and for this Sansa is grateful. But objectively, does this make him "kind" to her? I'm not sure-- "kinder" than a Lannister is like saying drier than the sea, after all.

Nonetheless, I tend to agree that they don't hate each other, and I'd be surprised if either sought to actively harm the other. But I do think that if their political aims were incompatible, whatever non-hate they might feel toward each other would not be enough to prevent them from being opposed to one another.

To answer your DwD question, there aren't any quotes like that from DwD because Sansa isn't a POV for that book.

[Le Cygne]

Is there any specific quote where Sansa blames Tyrion for the marriage (actual question)?

I quoted above, she said he told her a "Lannister lie" when he said he could be good to her, and several other quotes indicating she doesn't think well of him, and certainly not "a friendly rapport" and no "grudging thoughts" and the like. There are more.

We are discussing how Sansa sees it.

Yes, by all means, let's see it that way (note that SANSA, who was threatened with force, in a marriage sanctioned neither by Sansa nor her family, hence not a typical Westeros marriage, says she is obeying):

“I am your husband. You can take off your armor now.”

“And my clothing?”

“That too.”

There was hunger in his green eye, it seemed to her, and fury in the black. Sansa did not know which scared her more...

When he finally realized that she had no answer for him, Tyrion Lannister drained the last of his wine. “I understand,” he said bitterly. “Get in the bed, Sansa. We need to do our duty.”

She had started to pull up a blanket to cover herself when she heard him say, “No.”

The cold made her shiver, but she obeyed. Her eyes closed, and she waited. After a moment she heard the sound of her husband pulling off his boots, and the rustle of clothing as he undressed himself. When he hopped up on the bed and put his hand on her breast, Sansa could not help but shudder. She lay with her eyes closed, every muscle tense, dreading what might come next...

She had promised to obey; she opened her eyes. He was sitting by her feet, naked. Where his legs joined, his man’s staff poked up stiff and hard from a thicket of coarse yellow hair, but it was the only thing about him that was straight.

“My lady,” Tyrion said, “you are lovely, make no mistake, but … I cannot do this. My father be damned. We will wait. The turn of a moon, a year, a season, however long it takes. Until you have come to know me better, and perhaps to trust me a little.”

Look at him, Sansa told herself, look at your husband, at all of him, Septa Mordane said all men are beautiful, find his beauty, try. She stared at the stunted legs, the swollen brutish brow, the green eye and the black one, the raw stump of his nose and crooked pink scar, the coarse tangle of black and gold hair that passed for his beard. Even his manhood was ugly, thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head. This is not right, this is not fair, how have I sinned that the gods would do this to me, how?

“On my honor as a Lannister,” the Imp said, “I will not touch you until you want me to.”

It took all the courage that was in her to look in those mismatched eyes and say, “And if I never want you to, my lord?”

His mouth jerked as if she had slapped him. “Never?”

Her neck was so tight she could scarcely nod.

“Why,” he said, “that is why the gods made whores for imps like me.” He closed his short blunt fingers into a fist, and climbed down off the bed.

[protar]

I quoted above, she said he told her a "Lannister lie" when he said he could be good to her, and several other quotes indicating she doesn't think well of him, and certainly not "a friendly rapport" and no "grudging thoughts" and the like. There are more.

Oh right, you didn't put that quote into context so I couldn't remember where exactly it was from. Friendly rapport was a joke by the way. Anyway, without being able to look up quotes I'm out. Though I stand by my main point that Sansa and Tyrion are more likely to work as allies than to be enemies.

[Woman of War]

Oh right, you didn't put that quote into context so I couldn't remember where exactly it was from. Friendly rapport was a joke by the way. Anyway, without being able to look up quotes I'm out. Though I stand by my main point that Sansa and Tyrion are more likely to work as allies than to be enemies.

We are only speculating here of course and we know nothing.

But why should any reader prefer a story development where Sansa and Tyrion work against each other? There is much more fun and plot potential in two underdogs working together than being marginalized by enemies.

Two characters being underdogs for very different reasons finding whatever common cause is kind of promising as plot.

[Jon Weirgaryen]

[...] let's see it that way (note that SANSA, who was threatened with force, in a marriage sanctioned neither by Sansa nor her family, hence not a typical Westeros marriage, says she is obeying):

the quoted passage may imply that Sansa was threatened with force into a marriage with Tyrion (or not).

To clarify: Cersei certainly tells Sansa she has no choice but to marry Tyrion and this time for once she does it matter-of-factly and without actually threatening her.

Certainly Tyrion doesn't threaten her. On the contrary he brusquely dismisses his cousin King Joff to have a short talk with Sansa, asking her if she wants to opt out and he will make that happen. Sansa choses not to, and to go on with the ceremony.

[Dicer]

In truth, we don't know what would be "usual" for the groom to do in Tyrion's circumstance, especially without Tywin as the groom's father. But we do know that in cases of complete duress and non-consent, taking a woman forcefully in marriage and bedding is abhorrent (see the North's reaction to Lady Hornwood).

We know that Lysa Arryn expected Tyrion to sleep with his wife. And when Sansa indicated otherwise, she wondered if the dwarf was incapable. So a Tully and a Arryn thinks that it was normal for Tyrion to bed his wife.

Other than that we have only Dany as an example and of course Drogo gave her no choice in the matter there.

Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things if Sansa's marriage was arranged by the enemy rather than her family? Arya may have had to marry Walder Frey's 22nd son, Elmer Frey, when she was older. What if she was repulsed by Elmer Frey and did not want to sleep with him but Elmer Frey exercised his rights as husband. Her situation would have been no different to Sansa's. Was Lysa Arryn's life any happier because her father forced her to have an abortion and marry an older man so that he could win a war. Dany had no say in the matter either when her brother sold her to Drogo.

I also don't understand folks who dislike Tyrion because he married her as her enemy and then pair Sansa with the Hound. The Hound who hacked down a fleeing child and then joked about it. The Hound who massacred loyal Stark men including Jeyne Poole's father and assisted in taking down Ned in KL. Who assisted in holding Sansa captive and terrorized her by holding a knife to her throat. The Hound did more harm to the Starks than Tyrion.

But apparently when Sansa calls Tyrion 'kind' we are not meant to take it that way because Sansa hates him in reality. On the other hand Sansa imagining kisses from the hound is oh so romantic!